30
"In For a Penny, In For a Pound"
Chapter 2
Dinner was a magnificent affair. The lasses had outdone themselves due to the status of their esteemed guest. All the youngsters had been admonished to be on their best behavior. Seated far down the table from Lord Glorfindel and the other adults, Pippin squirmed in his chair. Sancho noticed his discomfort and was inclined to make the most of it. He chuckled softly. Agitating Pippin was going to be almost as much fun as the other mischief he was planning! He sat back, his thoughts spinning feverishly. Oh, there was so much potential here tonight! His eyes fairly glowed as he considered the possibilities.
Sancho glanced over at old Rorimac. The Master of Buckland was listening intently as the elf described his journey thus far. Saradoc and Paladin were deep in conversation while their wives spoke quietly amongst themselves. Every once in awhile Auntie Esme or Aunt Eglantine would peek unobtrusively over at Great Auntie Pringle. To make certain she behaved herself, Sancho was certain. Maybe Great Auntie will fly into one of her famous speeches or quiz the elf about his family tree. Oh, that would be grand! Imagine the looks on their faces. And they worry about us embarrassing the family! Sancho shook his head in disgust. Maybe she'll even gift us with some of her lovely bird calls tonight. Or even flap her arms about like that stupid pet raven flaps his great wings. Probably thinks she can fly too!
Sancho's attention focused on the other side of the long table where he noticed his older cousin watching him closely. Drat that Frodo! Sancho returned the look with a sugary smile and watched with satisfaction as Frodo rolled his eyes and shook his dark head. He turned away only to find Merry staring at him from the seat opposite Pippin. Sancho raised an eyebrow innocently. Merry snorted softly. Have to watch out for that one too I suppose. Sancho grimaced. Are they all setting out to spoil my fun before I even have any?
Sancho focused cautiously on his parents seated on the other side of the table. Deep in their conversation, they paid him no mind. Old Odo Proudfoot was sitting back in obvious contentment taking in the animated discussion shrewdly, his hands folded over his large belly. Every now and again he burst out with raucous laughter over a comment. Sancho breathed a sigh of relief. They apparently had no interest in him for the moment. That could only be a good thing.
The group of hobbits startled at the sudden movement made by Great Auntie Pringle, who leaped from her chair without warning. Her flighty gaze drifted past all of them as she focused intently on something outside the window. The room fell quiet, the company poised and waiting. Eglantine and Esmeralda exchanged looks of well controlled panic. They appeared ready to spring from their own chairs to redirect Auntie if the need arose.
Craning her long neck in a jerky, bird-like movement the old hobbit breathlessly declared, "Well! I do believe I hear Pepper calling for me. I must tend to his dinner!" With that, she stretched her arm in between Sancho and Pippin and plucked pieces of fruit from the salad bowl until she had filled her apron pocket. Eyes widened, and some of the guests pretended not to take notice. Pringle spun and threw her head back as she strutted from the room, her quirky mannerisms called to mind a great red rooster strutting about the barnyard.
The youngsters all tittered with amusement and rolled their eyes at each other. Sancho pushed the fruit bowl away, grimacing in disgust. Pippin had even ceased his squirming and was watching the scene with interest to see how his mother was going to react.
The elders glanced at one another uncomfortably, temporarily at a loss.
"Ahem. Yes, well then…" Saradoc coughed politely and smiled his apologies at their guest. "Please, you must excuse our elderly aunt. She hasn't been the same since the accident."
Glorfindel tilted his head in acknowledgment of his hosts' discomfort. "Indeed sir. Think nothing of it."
Sancho snickered at the careful comments and poked Pippin in the ribs, gesturing with his head at their departing aunt. His cousin shot a guilt-filled glance at him that prompted Sancho to poke him again, harder this time. Pippin scowled and planted a firm elbow of his own into Sancho's ribs causing the other hobbit to yelp in surprise. Their actions did not go unnoticed. Frodo cleared his throat to get their attention. He raised his brow in warning disapproval and both were the recipients of a sharp kick from Merry, who had scooted far enough down in his chair to reach them with his foot. They jumped in alarm. Pippin looked as though he wanted to wilt and slide beneath the table as the others turned their attention his way. Sancho chuckled and shrugged.
"My dear lads, are you feeling quite all right?" Paladin regarded them both with a judicious eye. His expression left no room whatsoever for argument and even Sancho averted his gaze after a moment.
The comment drew the attention of the other adults and Rorimac contemplated the group of lads. "Is there a problem?" His stern demeanor implied that there had better not be.
"No, Granda. There's no problem. Is there?" Merry frowned at them.
"No sir, no problem at all!" Sancho answered brightly.
Pippin remained quiet, eyes downcast, wishing in vain everyone would stop looking at him.
"Peregrin? We didna hear from you, lad."
Pippin raised his eyes. He shook his head. "No Da. No problem at all."
Paladin studied his son thoughtfully for a moment while Pippin shifted uneasily. At last normal conversation resumed and his father's gaze shift elsewhere. Pippin breathed a sigh of relief and began to relax. He reached for his cup and took a long drink. He hadn't realized just how dry his throat had become. The reprieve was short lived and he stiffened in horror at Sancho's next words and choked spewing water all over himself. Merry's cousin Berilac leaned over and thumped his back, whispering in his ear.
"You all right Pip?"
"Fine. Just fine," he rasped, still trying to clear the water from his throat.
Sancho had leaned forward and was addressing the elf cheerfully, "Lord
Glorfindel?"
The elf turned his attention to the youngster, tilting his head in acknowledgement.
"What's your horse's name?"
"His name is Asfaloth, young one."
"Well, that's a nice name!" Sancho beamed at him.
"Aye, a fitting name for a beautiful animal," Saradoc said. He turned to Glorfindel. "We are accustomed to ponies, you realize. The lads have rarely if ever beheld such a sight as your magnificent horse."
"Indeed. Their curiosity is quite understandable."
Sancho sat back in his chair and nodded, content as the conversation resumed. He winked at Pippin who was busily wiping the front of his shirt with his napkin. His cousin looked like he was going to be sick.
"May I please be excused, Mum?" Pippin asked in a small voice.
Eglantine looked concerned and she rose and felt of her son's forehead. "Are you feeling all right dear?"
"Um…I'm fine. Just tired."
"All right then. Off you go! And straight to bed I think."
Pippin rose gratefully and scooted from the room. There were looks of confusion among several of the adults.
Sancho crept into Pippin's room a short while later. He stood with hands on hips and regarded him with disdain. "You realize your little escape act almost raised a good deal of suspicion don't you?"
Pippin moaned and removed the arm he had slung across his face as he rolled over on the bed to look at him. "No more than you caused by winking at me! I dinna want to have any part in whatever you've planned, Sancho."
"What? Why ever not?"
"I value my life." Pippin rolled the other way, facing the wall. "And my ability to sit comfortably."
"Now, is that any reason not to come play this game with me dear lad? You have to Pip! I can't do it alone, I need your help!"
Pippin rolled back to face him again. "With what? You willna tell me anything! I want to know just what you're planning to do with Lord Glorfindel's horse or I willna be playing this game of yours."
Sancho frowned. "I can't tell you yet Pip. It'll spoil it."
"SPOIL WHAT?"
"Shhhhhh! No need to shout." Sancho gestured furiously for Pippin to pipe down and glanced nervously over his shoulder at the door. "You're going to attract attention.
"I dinna care."
"You will!"
"Sancho, I have the feeling I'll be caring quite a bit more if we do—whatever it is you want us to do. And I think that elf fellow could be pretty scary if we made him mad."
"Oh, come now Pip. Don't be afraid. I told you. It's fool proof. We won't get caught and we're going to have such fun!"
Pippin sat up and crossed his arms stubbornly. He shook his head. "First you tell me what it's about. Then I'll decide if I'm going to do it or not."
Sancho scowled. "If you don't help me then I'm going to tell on you."
Pippin's eyes widened. "For what? I didna do anything!"
"Yet."
"What are you saying Sancho?" Pippin's sour look matched his cousin's.
"That if you don't play along with me I'll get you into so much trouble your parents won't let you see the light of day for months!"
Pippin stared at him, incredulous. "And, if I do go along with you I think the same thing's going to happen anyway! Some choice." He snorted. "What are you doing this for Sancho? I thought we were friends. Why do you want to get me in trouble?"
"I won't get you into any trouble if you just go along with me. Come, no one will ever be the wiser."
"I'll know. Even if we didna get caught. I'll know we did something wrong."
Sancho rolled his eyes in disgust. "Says who? How do you know that when you don't even know what I've got planned? You never worried about doing something wrong before. Fine time for you to suddenly get a conscience, Pip!"
"I'll tell then. On you, for a change!"
"No you won't."
"Oh? And why is that?"
"Because you know you're dying to find out what I've got planned. You're a true prankster Pip! You cannot resist!" He grinned, nodding at the smaller hobbit. "You know I'm right. Come now, we're really not doing anything wrong at all. Come see what I've got planned. Then you can change your mind later if you'd like. But I know you won't want to."
"Well…" Pippin hesitated and looked Sancho up and down, weighing his options. Finally he threw all caution to the wind. "Maybe I'll just come and see what you're about then. To keep you out of trouble." A little smile began to play around his lips.
"That's the spirit!" Sancho slapped him on the back and sat beside him. "Now, here's what we're going to do…"
"What do you think that little scene at dinner was all about?" Merry trotted after his older cousin as they shared a walk in the fresh night air.
"I'm not certain but it worries me. We need to keep a close eye on those two. I'd hate to see the whole family embarrassed in front of an elven guest by anything they get up to."
"And how are we supposed to watch them every moment?"
"I don't know but we'd better find a way. I've a strong feeling Sancho has something nasty up his sleeve. And Pip is going to get drawn right into it with him."
Merry studied the star-filled sky thoughtfully. "You don't think he really is that foolish, do you?"
"Who? Pippin or Sancho?"
Merry sighed. "Well, I was referring to Pip. But now that I think about it I can't believe Sancho acts as rashly as he does sometimes." He leaned up against a tall old oak and folded his arms across his chest, pondering. "And how easily Pip seems to fall for his nonsense. He's not stupid you know, just…impulsive. But all he has to do is see Sancho getting up to something and there he goes! Off and running after him without giving the slightest thought about what he may be getting into. It seems to me that Sancho plays him like a well-tuned fiddle!" Merry pushed off from the tree with his foot and stood up straight. "And Pip just doesn't seem to get it!"
"Sancho is a manipulator. He likes creating chaos. Maybe Pippin sees it as a challenge. Perhaps he doesn't want to be outshone for attention? Or appear afraid to go along? He and Sancho are the same age Merry. Maybe Pip just wants to show him that he's the master of pranks and whatever Sancho does, he can do better."
Merry looked at his cousin, his eyes widening in horror. "You mean he's trying to outdo him?" He shook his head, incredulous. "Frodo, have you seen what lengths Sancho is willing to go to in order to attract attention to himself?"
Frodo chuckled. "I've noticed. It's rather difficult to miss his antics."
Merry snorted in disgust. "He's going to get Pip killed!"
"I doubt that, Merry. However, he's very capable of wreaking some serious havoc. And being here at Brandy Hall is a great big adventure for him. I think he's definitely looking for something to amuse himself. Worse than that, I believe he actually likes getting Pippin into trouble with him. I wouldn't even put it past him to set our cousin up to take the fall for him."
Merry stared at him uncomfortably. "Do you really think he'd do that?"
Frodo nodded. "I've seen him make the attempt in the past. The problem is Sancho isn't always that smart about it. He tends to get overcome with his own enthusiasm and get careless. And I think Pip knows it. Like you said, Pippin is not stupid. Just a bit headstrong."
Merry scowled. "Just a bit? That lad carries it to new heights!"
"Yes, and then put the two of them together…"
"Oh! Sweet Eru's ghost. Just picture it."
Frodo laughed out loud. "You sound like Bilbo now." He shook his head. "However, I can see you're getting the idea I'm hinting at. Sancho does not like to take the responsibility for anything he does. So it's handy to blame Pippin in his stead. Maybe even funny to him. And dear Pip in his stubbornness refuses to acknowledge that he just went along."
"Not that it really matters because at that point they're both in trouble."
"True."
They started back toward the Hall.
"I got the feeling that Pippin was worried about something at dinner. And Sancho seemed to be teasing him about whatever it was."
"Hmm. Now that you mention it," Merry rubbed his chin thoughtfully, "It did look like something was going on between them. Maybe they got up to some mischief or other while they were alone today. They did have quite a few hours off by themselves you know."
"Exactly. The same notion has been on my mind."
"And Sancho is probably taunting Pip about whatever it is. Poor Pip! He's probably already got himself in trouble and he's just waiting to get found out."
"Yes, well whatever happened today you can bet that Sancho is the instigator."
"What I've not understood is why Sancho's never concerned about the consequences? I mean, there at the last Pip looked like he was about to lose his dinner while Sancho was just as giddy as always."
"Yes, sometimes I think he must take after dear Auntie Pringle."
Merry chuckled. "Good comparison. Except even Auntie usually has more sense than he does!"
"And that's saying quite a lot."
They shared a laugh as Frodo pulled open the back door to the smial and held it for Merry. Their voices echoed down the corridor as they headed to their bedchambers to settle in for the night.
Outside, the moon rose to its peak. Two small hobbit lads crept toward the stables undetected in the soft moonlight. Inside the stable an elvish horse perked up his ears and listened. He pranced about his stall somewhat nervously, anticipating the midnight visitors. Asfaloth gazed at the small beings with his soft brown eyes as they entered the stable and stood nearby appraising him. His ears quivered forward at the sudden loud giggle uttered by the larger of the two lads. If he could, Asfaloth would have tried to persuade them from their folly. Instead, he watched them silently with unfailing appraisal of his own.
Sancho began rummaging around in the hay pile outside the stalls, while Pippin continued to stare up in awe at the majestic white horse. He flinched at the sudden piercing whistle of a well known drinking song spilling from his cousin's lips. Sancho grinned and whispered in his ear.
"We're going for a ride Pip!"
Pippin whirled, wide eyed. "What? You must be joking!"
"Right after we—"
"Why, we couldna even reach his saddle! That is, if he was even wearing one! Not that we could lift it to put it on him anyway, and then there's the wee problem with us taking him without permission and what will be happening to us if we get caught, and he's so big Sancho what if we fall off? They'll know something happened if we get hurt and, and, and—"
"PEREGRIN!" Sancho placed a hand on each side of the distraught youngster and shook him. "Get a hold of yourself lad!"
Pippin stopped abruptly and simply stared at his cousin as if he'd grown another head on his shoulders and it was speaking in elvish.
"We're not going to do any harm. We're just going to take a little ride!" Sancho darted a look about cautiously, realizing how loud they'd become.
"But how--"
"We'll climb up on the stall and just scoot over onto his back. It'll be easy."
"No saddle?"
"Nah, we don't need one."
"It'll be awfully easy to slide off him though." Pippin contemplated the big animal doubtfully.
"Where's that Tookish sense of adventure hiding tonight Pip? It'll be great fun! Imagine, flying through the moonlit night, galloping across the meadow--"
"Galloping? I don't know Sancho, we'll probably slide right off his back…"
"It'll be grand! We'll get going in a moment -- right after we give him some delightful new colors!" Triumphantly he whipped out the small can of paint he'd hidden in the hay earlier, and cheerfully produced two small brushes from behind his back.
Pippin was speechless. He didn't think he'd ever seen his cousin rise to such levels of idiocy ever before in his life. Sancho continued prattling on while Pippin watched him, utterly mortified at his intentions yet frozen to the spot like some small wounded animal anticipating its inevitable demise. The sound of his cousin's voice grew louder in his ears as it took on an otherworldly quality, sounding like an echo coming from a great distance. Pippin startled when Sancho whacked him on the back of his head. He realized he had been holding his hands over his ears.
"Listen up Pip!" He turned back to Asfaloth, regarding the big animal with a critical eye. "Hmm. Spots I think. Pink!" He waved the paint can under Pippin's nose. "It'll look great on that white background, don't you agree? I mean, plain white. That's far too bland for such a magnificent horse! He needs some color!" He grinned at Pippin. "I thought so right away, didn't you?"
"You…you…this is the game you planned?" Pippin's words were literally sticking in his throat. "With that great big elf's horse? Sancho, have you lost your mind completely?"
"What? You don't like my idea? What's wrong with it?"
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" Pippin sputtered. "What do you bloody think is wrong?" His voice was rising along with his temper.
"Now, now. Just a bit of color Pip. A touch of lovely pink! It'll set off his eyes, wouldn't you agree?"
"It'll set off a bloody war!" Pippin thundered. "And just what do you think Uncle Saradoc is going to do to us? Have you even thought about that? And our parents? I don't know about yours Sancho, but mine are not going to just laugh this off!"
"They won't know who did it!"
"Are you out of your mind? Who do you think they're going to come looking for first? They'll kill us! Do you not value your life lad?" Pippin shook his head furiously. "No, no, and no! I willna have any part in this! You've gone round the bend! Totally daft!"
Sancho watched him calmly. "Are you saying you don't like my plan? Don't hold back Pip, say what's really on your mind!"
Pippin took several deep breaths in a desperate attempt to calm himself. He had the odd feeling he now understood how his da felt when confronted with some of his own mischief. He targeted Sancho with the same look of exasperation he had so often seen on his father's face. Pippin paused and self consciously considered this unexpected turn of events. He gave himself a mental shake before continuing.
"Sancho, be reasonable! Think about what you're planning here. This is not one of your better ideas. Don't you realize this will make our families look ridiculous in front of Lord Glorfindel? Don't you care if you embarrass them?"
His friend looked him up and down with an air of superiority. "Surely you're joking Pip. It'll be funny! They'll get over it after all. We won't be doing any damage. Come now! Let's do it!" Sancho moved toward the horse and Pippin panicked.
"Wait!" Grabbing Sancho by the shoulder he stopped him. "You canna put paint on him, it might hurt him, or make him sick. It might even kill him! How would you feel about that?"
Sancho frowned at him.
"And besides all that, how would they get it off?"
Sancho hesitated for a moment. "Well…that's really not our problem Pip."
"What? What do you mean, it's not our problem? If Asfaloth gets sick it'll be our fault! I couldna hurt an animal – I won't take a chance like that."
Sancho let out a long, irritated breath and glared at his cousin. "Must you keep coming up with reasons why this won't work? I told you, it's practically fool proof. No one will see us, it's midnight! And if no one sees us then they can't prove who did it."
"You know, Sancho, I thought you were smarter than this. I canna believe you're wanting to go through with such a daft idea when it's so obvious, even to me, that we canna possibly get away with it!"
"Well if we don't it's because you've already got a guilty conscience. One look at your face and that'll give us away for sure. You have to buck up now lad, pull yourself together!"
"You keep saying 'we' when I already told you I'll be having no part in it. I mean it. I'm not going along with you this time."
"You have to Pip!"
"Why? Why do I have to?"
"Because…because if you don't I will get you into trouble, just like I said!" His eyes sparked with anger. "Serious trouble Pip. I mean it. You're going to regret it if you don't do this!"
"And I'm going to regret it if I do! Either way, I lose!"
"But my way you stand a good chance of not getting into trouble, can't you see that?"
Pippin shook his head firmly from side to side and crossed his arms in defiance.
"All right. I warned you. Looks like you'll be spending the rest of the summer on restriction. Why, you probably won't be allowed off the farm until you come of age!"
"You're bluffing anyway. You don't have anything that good on me and you know it." Pippin allowed himself a little chuckle. He hoped he didn't sound nervous.
"Oh no?" Sancho regarded him coolly. "Remember the night last month when you were visiting Bag End? You sneaked into the pantry and snatched two bottles of the strawberry wine? You went and got drunk and were outside half the night, and then Merry found you. You were really sick and Merry had to lie to Frodo so you wouldn't get into trouble, with him or your parents. Oh, I see you remember!"
Pippin felt his face growing warm. He scowled furiously.
"Well now! They never found out who did it, did they? And your folks didn't even know you were out all night getting soused at the tender age of fourteen. Lucky for both of you. Hmm, why I just thought of that. I can get you both in trouble at the same time. What a bonus! Poor Merry. All because his little cousin wouldn't go along with a foolproof prank because he was too scared."
"How do you know about that?" Pippin struggled to control his anger.
"Oh, I have my ways. You should just be more careful about what you say where others can hear you. Some people just like to talk."
"Why haven't you told before now?"
"Well, I was waiting for the right time. I knew that little bit of information would come in quite handy one day. And here we are!"
Pippin's thoughts were in a mad whirl. Sancho was right about one thing. This was indeed not something his parents would take lightly. He would be in a world of hurt if they found out, and he probably wouldn't see the light of day for at least a month. Not only that, but he would get Merry in trouble along with him.
"This is blackmail. You know that," he seethed.
"Uh huh. See Pip? I am smart after all. So, come along. Let's go!"
Pippin took a reluctant step forward and stopped. "Wait. Sancho, I'll make a deal with you."
"What?" Sancho turned and eyed him suspiciously.
"I'll go for a ride with you but no painting the horse. All right?"
"What! No pink polka dots? Why you're no fun at all Pip!" Sancho appeared to think about it. Finally he shook his head. "Uh uh. No spots, no deal! You help me decorate him and ride him or I'm going straight to your da and Uncle Saradoc."
"I'll tell them what you had planned then!"
"You mean what we had planned? You do that and you'll be in double trouble. Come Pip! You're bested once again and you must cry 'uncle' this time," he chortled. "You were lucky to get out of it earlier today but you shan't now!"
"That's what all this is about! You're upset because I got the upper hand this afternoon and kept you from bloody suffocating me! I canna believe it!"
"Oh, don't be silly Pippin. This isn't about that. Why, I would have had you beat if Lord Glorfy hadn't showed up just then. Don't go flattering yourself!"
"I'm right and you know it! You can't take it when someone gets the best of you."
Sancho snorted rudely. "Right then. Whatever you say Pip. Let's go!"
He gave him a rough shove toward Asfaloth, causing him to fall to his knees. Pippin had had enough and came up swinging. His right fist connected firmly with Sancho's jaw, sending the larger hobbit sprawling flat on his back. He stared up in surprise, momentarily stunned. Pippin took advantage of his astonishment and threw himself fully onto his cousin's stomach. The resulting grunt as the air whooshed out of Sancho's lungs felt strangely gratifying to Pippin. His anger transported him to a new level of awareness, one in which he realized how tired he was of allowing himself to be pushed around. Arms flailing, he again threw caution to the wind and gave vent to the adrenalin driving him to thrash the living daylights out of his smug cousin. He'd worry about the consequences later.
