Disclaimer: Gee, how much do I not own Xenosaga?
30 kisses theme #14 - radio cassette player
a/n: Crazy Albedo drabble. Not pronoun friendly.
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Running on Mute
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A bullet discharges from each pistol. One, two. Bang, bang. The first one hits his shoulder and has already exited by the time the wound closes over.
He did the same thing once; one of those prized guns stolen from the secret collection in the wall space. Only it had been cocked to his temple instead. The sound of his skull disintegrating had been louder than he expected, drowned out only by the sounds of his brothers' screams.
It's funny how that bullet seemed to hurt less compared to these ones. His dear-heart fires them with his frustration and anger (and hate - hatehatehate) and they seem to take pieces of him when they hit. It hurts. Yes, it hurts.
The second bullet pierces his heart and it heals so fast it feels like breaking -
Stop. Rewind.
- There's red and darkness and cold. The red's in his head, mumbling in his ears, whispering through his hair, crawling along his bones. The darkness keeps his eyes closed. He sleeps.
It's cold.
It's cold -
Rewind.
- Before that, the special memories. The special days. When things weren't like this and he wasn't like that and existing was so simple it was as easy as a smile.
These memories make no sense to him now, mean nothing to him either, but there were happylaughs and boygames and brotherlove. Memento mori to remember them by.
And before that? Nothing, of course.
A circle, then? If he rewinds further perhaps he'll find the omega through the alpha, find the final letter for his alphabet.
Silly thoughts -
Fast forward.
Fast forward. Forward, forward, forward.
- They're almost at their ending, anyway. And that ending is the real ending because they built it together; actually, they all built a little part of it - green eyes and singsong voice and cherry peaches, puppets and the mé nage a trois of the universe - and it's moving so fast it can't be stopped.
Are all endings painful? Or are just the painful endings painful?
Because there will be pain. He'll give it, and he'll take it, and it will hurt. Yes, it will hurt.
So there's nothing left to do except -
Stop. Play. Just let it play.
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Feel free to mock me for the cliche ending for the rest of my life. I don't mind. XP
