(A/N): I know, I know, I should be working on Broken Rainbows, and not writing something new. I swear, chapter four of Broken Rainbows will be up soon. Anyway, this is a James/Lily Lily/Andromeda. I am fully aware of the fact that in all reason Andromeda is like, seven years Lily's senior. But for all sakes and purposes, lets just pretend that when Lily is in 5th year, Andromeda is in 7th, kaythanks. Reviews are welcomed, as are flames. )

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"I don't know how to tell her, I don't know what to say. I have to though, don't I? It wouldn't be fair to her if I didn't. I just... how?"

"I don't know Lily, I mean, she loves you so much, it'll break her heart." Remus shook his head in distress. He wasn't as shocked as he'd have liked to be, not shocked like Peter was, but that didn't stop him from being disappointed in Lily. She could have handled herself better. She could have waited, broken it off with Andromeda first, and then gone to him. But that was water under the bridge now; the damage was done and Andromeda deserved to know.

"Break it to her slowly, take her somewhere private." Peter offered, his face reddened as though it was he who had reason to be embarrassed. He was embarrassed though, for both Lily and James. He couldn't understand how they could do this, and to someone as fun and sweet as her.

The three of them sat around a small table in the corner of the library, whispering so as not to be overheard. It was the only place they could think of to go, where their year would be too busy studying for OWLs not a week away, to listen on to their muttered conversation.

Lily was bordering on tears, she was so thoroughly overwhelmed. All they had done was kiss, nothing more. Just a kiss. Yet that one kiss was cause for her to experience such a range of emotions in the past few hours that she had never before felt.

It hadn't been planned in the least. She had been tired from studying so much for OWLs, so she had decided to go for a walk. The sun had just began to set when he walked up to her, his hair windswept from quidditch practice. She didn't even remember what happened after that, only one minute she was insulting him, and in the next she was lip locked into the most affectionate kiss of her life thus far.

Kissing him was sensational. She had never before felt so loved, comfortable, and safe all in one minute. His arms around her made her feel as though she could just melt right into him, she would never forget how good it felt to feel her body pressed against his. Running her fingers through his hair made her blood tingle, the passion in his eyes made her weak in the knees.

But then, afterwards as they walked hand in hand across the grounds she felt an immense lump of guilt form in her throat, and a great sadness overcome her. When she saw a couple heads turn her way she felt the enormity of what she had done, and hated herself for it. She almost hated him to. She wretched her hand out from his and ran away, as fast as she could into the castle and up the marble stairs to the girls bathroom and locked herself in a stall. She sat on the toilet and curled her legs up to her chest, crying to herself until the snot and tears poured down her face, and stained her robes. She cried until she sicked up.

Once the contents of her stomach had been thoroughly ejected and her face wiped off, Lily stood up opened the stall door slowly, to see if the washroom was empty. After determining that she was in fact alone, she walked out on shaky legs to the sink, carefully avoiding the mirror. She couldn't look at herself just yet. She splashed some cold water on her face, and then left the bathroom, walking almost directly into Remus and Peter, which led her to the current conversation she was now engaged in.

"Should, should I wait maybe? Tell her tomorrow? It's already late, dinner was served hours ago. She might be busy, or asleep..."

"Lily you know she isn't. You have to talk to her now, the longer you wait the harder it will be." Remus reasoned."Besides, if you wait then there is a very good possibility that..."

Remus wasn't able to finish his sentence though, as at that moment a textbook -charms by the looks of it- had been thrown across the library, hitting the wall just inches to the left of Lily's ear.

"How dare you. How dare you." Andromeda stood, her arm still reached out from throwing her book, her full body shaking. Madam Pince appeared immediately, her talons extended as she chased Andromeda, Lily, Remus, and Peter out from the library, even though Remus argued that the three of them technically hadn't done anything.

"I don't care. Out, out!" She screeched at their backs as they grabbed their things and ran out into the hall. Once out, Lily stood cowering under Andromeda, who seemed almost to have grown larger with fury.

"You. You. I can't believe you. I can't believe you would do that, that you would sink so low. God Lily, gross. I can't even look at you. And to have heard from my sister, the wench. God she was so pleased with herself too, practically skipping. Bella just couldn't wait to tell me what she had seen. Lily, Lily the Saint, the Mary, the goddamn Elizabeth Bennet of the Gryffindor tower was making out with Potter, the boy she has sworn to loath for all eternity, in the quidditch pitch. No, no don't even try to explain." Andromeda held up her hand to stop Lily from speaking. "I don't want to hear it. It's over between us. Over. Don't talk to me."

Andromeda turned on her heel and stormed down the hall, leaving Lily cold in her tracks, tears streaming once again down her face. She hadn't wanted Andromeda to find out that way. She had hoped they would be able to talk it through, break it gently. She could see now that that wasn't going to happen. Remus put a friendly arm around her shoulders to lead her away, but Lily shrugged him off. She wanted to be alone right now.

The next morning Lily sat alone at breakfast. She didn't know why she had bothered to get out of bed, she felt fluish from crying all night and didn't want to open herself to the possibility of passing Andromeda in the hall. Just as she was preparing to leave for her first class, James Potter appeared at her side, looking energetic and cheery as usual.

"Hello love." He said, leaning down to give her a kiss. He seemed to have forgotten all about her running from him yesterday night. She turned her head and his lips grazed her cheek. "Whats wrong?" He asked.

"Go away." She whispered, still looking away from him. She refused to meet his eyes.

"What? Why?" He asked, confused.

"I don't want to see you. I don't ever want to see you, I can't stand you. Get away from me Potter." Lily spat angrily, surprising both James and herself with her harsh reaction. It wasn't true. She knew it wasn't true. But she couldn't help it; in a way she blamed him for the pain she was in right now, for losing Andromeda, and for the looks she was getting from students she didn't even know, as though she was a slut, a harlot. She couldn't stand that, and the only way she knew how to deal with it was to push it away. To push him away.

All she felt she could do is hold on to the slim hope that maybe, maybe if she pretended it hadn't happened, went back to hating him, to wishing he didn't exist, things would go back to normal. The hurt and self-hate would go away if she just pushed it somewhere else; pushed it towards him. She would not be made a fool of; she would not be so weak. If being alone would prevent that, then alone she would be.