Finally, done with Finals, done with my novel, done with everything. People, I am so happy. Today, I am just writing until I fall sleep right here. Lol. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Some people are coming over!
Chapter 4
180 degrees
Brenda was walking down the Oxford Street while staring at all the stores and bright lights. There was no doubt that the Oxford Street was what gave the city its life. There was this store—Hamleys—that she had her brother adored when they were kids. A tear attempted to break out of her eyes but she fought it off. There was no reason to cry. Although, the memories from a lifetime that she had left behind months ago kept coming back. She remembered when their parents took them to London when they were in fourth grade. Brandon spent the whole trip trying to go to the gigantic toy store and their father—Jim—got mad because he said they weren't appreciating the true beauty of London, that they were only thinking about shopping. Good Jim, Old Jim, he was right. They walked miles around the city and saw all the monuments, museums, parks, all the places worth seeing, but deep down, what they wanted to do was to go to the toy store. They were kids, who could blame them? Jim got mad anyway, he said that one day, they'd regret it. However, now she had lived there for almost six months, she had realized what the true beauty of London was. The beauty of London resided in the people, in its spirit, in the red phone boxes, the black taxis, the small and windy streets, RADA, the palace of Buckingham and its stoic guards, the Big Ben, the power of the queen, the St James Park, the museums, all of that made London beautiful and unique. However, there was something that—to Brenda—meant more that all those places together, and that place was Hamleys. She remembered this white stuffed dog she got there, she still had it. She had been so happy when she got it, because her friend, Lisa, had one. Lisa always used to tell her how she had gotten the stuffed dog in London, and how she couldn't get in the U.S. It was kind of mean. Brenda stared at the store and smiled, probably, many more kids inside the store were as happy as she had been that day almost ten years ago.
"Are you okay Bren?" Kali asked. Brenda turned around and nodded. "You don't look alright"
"I'm kind of homesick"
"Do you miss your family?"
"I miss the weather!" Brenda whined. She missed her family too but as long as she didn't admit it everything would be alright. "In California you know, we had sun and all"
"Why don't you invite them over?"
"Invite who, the sun?"
"Your family you goof"
"Oh, you wouldn't like them"
"Why not?"
"They are just different"
"different how?"
"Kali," Brenda faced her. "Has anyone ever told you that when someone avoids your questions is because that someone doesn't want to answer?"
"Alexis a million times. Why don't you want to answer my questions?"
Brenda started laughing. She had almost forgotten that Kali was the kind of teenager that doesn't give up. Sometimes Alexis would yell at her so hard that she thought that she was going to fall dead out of breath, but Kali would always ask some stupid question, sometimes, the question was so funny that even Alexis would laugh. Jesse was kind of like that too.
"You were different when you came you know? You were all preppy and repellent…"
"Hey!"
"Alright, alright, you weren't repellent, but you were preppy and we liked you. So why wouldn't we like your family?"
"I am not like my family, I have never been"
"I am not like my family either and they are not so bad, they are just not as cool as me"
Kali jumped on her feet and Brenda started laughing again. Kali always made her feel happier. She was a great kid. "Okay, okay, I'll tell you about them" Brenda said laughing and rolling her eyes. "My brother Brandon—
"The hot blond guy?" Kali interrupted.
"Yes, him" Brenda said with a smile. "Is kind of like—
"I'm sure he is like superman, he is so hot! He should be a model, he is really really really hot!" Kali said really fast. "Is he a good kisser?"
"How could I possibly know! He is my brother!" Brenda snapped. "Do you want me to tell you about them or not?"
"Yeah"
"Then shut up" Brenda laughed.
"Okay" Kali said. Brenda rolled her eyes and went on with her story. "Brandon is this kind of guy that always listens, and understands, he would help anyone. For example, if he has something you really like, like, I don't know, like a poster, or a music CD, and you tell him that you really like it; he would give it to you. Or maybe, he would leave it on your bed or something, but he would give it to you anyway" Brenda stopped and looked at Kali who seemed to be listening. She went on, "Sometimes, when I am sad, I talk to him, I know it sounds crazy, I know he is not there, but I know that he will be listening. My dad, my dad is a lot like Brandon, more like an ultraconservative Brandon and overprotective, too overprotective. He is a pain in the ass sometimes but he loves us. My mom, she is like my best friend. I can tell her everything, well, I can try…" Kali started laughing. Brenda did too. She felt good, she felt warm. Maybe remembering wasn't so bad after all.
"What?" Brenda asked.
"It sounds like a great family"
"Yeah, so?"
"Why did you leave then? Don't give me the actress crap"
Brenda started laughing again. "Sometimes you just need a change you know?"
"But—why?"
"I can't explain it Kali, I just needed to get out for a while"
"So you are going back some day?"
"I don't know"
"But you want to go back?"
"I don't know"
"Will you stop talking to us if you leave?"
"Of course not!" They kept silence for a minute and then, Brenda said. "Hey, lets get heading back. I am freezing my ass off" Kali nodded and they started walking towards the apartment. It was late, dark and windy, their noses were red and they were really, really, reconsidering the idea of going for a walk every day. They did it a lot during the summer when Brenda wasn't working, however, now she had a whole week off, it was so cold that they couldn't go out without getting frozen alive.
"Hey!" A boy said. He had run towards Brenda. "You are the girl of the clips! Giants in the Sky!"
"Yeah" Brenda said a little confused. The group had gotten really famous and the clips had been a million times in the MTV and all the music channels but she wasn't famous at all. In fact, no one had noticed her before. Ever. It kind of felt good anyway.
"Can you sign this for me please?" The boy almost pleaded. He handed Brenda a single called, 'The ghost of my house" The single had Brenda's face on the cover. She looked really…dark. Her hair was really black and the make up made her look extra pale. She was kind of fading and Jesse was behind her picture with a black rose in his hand. It was kind of creepy but really cool.
"Sure" Brenda said feeling awkward. "What's your name?"
"Dylan"
"Wh..What?" She asked weakly. "Sorry, I didn't get that"
"Ralph Dylan, but people always call me by my last name"
Brenda nodded and wrote a little note and signed it. The boy went back with his friends smiling and almost jumping, Brenda however, wondered if the world was playing against her. She couldn't have Dylan but everything reminded her to him.
"That was weird" Brenda said.
"That was AWESOME" Kali yelled jumping up and down. "Now can you sign me my single, pleaseee"
"Oh shut up" Brenda laughed. "I'm not famous"
"You will be," Kali said.
"Yeah right" Brenda shook her head. "I don't think so"
"Jesse is going to be like John Lennon and you are going to be like Yoko!
"No freaking way" Brenda laughed, she never liked the Yoko chick "I'd never marry Jesse"
"But he likes you and you like him"
"No, I don't."
"Well, you spend helluva time together"
"So? We WORK together"
"So you guys are good friends"
"Yes, so?"
"Brenda he likes you! All the songs he writes are about you"
Brenda shook her head and opened the door of the apartment, she couldn't believe they had argued the whole way back home. She could smell the spaghettis that Alexis was cooking"
"Hey, we are back" Brenda announced and walked in the kitchen. "That smells really good" She said. Alexis smiled and said, "I know, I am so hungry"
"Me too" Brenda said
"Me three"
"So how was the walk, cold huh?"
"A boy stopped Brenda to sign him a single!" Kali laughed. "And I told Brenda that Jesse liked her but she doesn't believe it"
"Of course he likes you" Alexis said. "He writes all his songs about you"
"No he doesn't. Name one"
"The Ghost of my house" Alexis said.
"Breaking news Alexis, I am not dead" Brenda laughed while she grabbed a magazine and sat on the couch.
"The song is about a girl that walks around his house feeling empty because she has lost something and a part of her soul is dead" Alexis explained. "You know that"
"Maybe some songs are about me, but that is only because I am supposed to act them" Brenda pointed.
"What about 'She cried last night'?" Kali asked. She didn't want to give up on the idea of Jesse and Brenda been together.
"That one is about his girlfriend being in love with another man and he letting her go. I'm not his girlfriend" Brenda argued.
"Oh C'mon, Bren you know better. You have to read between lines"
"Yeah well, I am kind of hard today, I think I'll just read my magazine and…"
"Oh by the way, your mother called" Alexis suddenly remembered. "Jesse picked it up"
"WHAT?"
"Don't worry, he passed it to me. They asked if they could come over for New Year's Eve"
"WHAT?"
"I said that I didn't think there would be any problem"
"WHAT?"
"The hot guy is comin'!"
"They are bringing your brother too, and I think one of his friends…I think. Your mom sounded very nice and…." Alexis started commenting how nice Brenda's mom sounded like while Brenda had to sit up and breathe. She could barely think. Now she couldn't call back and say to her mother that she didn't want to see her because she did want to see her but she couldn't see Dylan, yes, she betted her head that that friend that was coming over was Dylan. She couldn't face him. Besides, she didn't want her mother to know she was working at a bar. Her mother didn't even know that in London, Brenda was legally allowed to drink. When she found out she was going to freak out! And her father, her father would start yelling and make a scene and….he would want her to go home! She didn't want to go home. She could hear her father's voice, no he could see her father yelling "BRENDA, WE ARE GOING HOME"
"Oh my god" Brenda said shaking her head.
"What?" Alexis asked. "It's not a secret that you miss them"
"Of course I do" Brenda snapped. "But Alexis, my parents live in Beverly Hills, when they find out that I work at a bar, that I am legally allowed to drink, that I live with a guy! Oh my god, they already know that I live with a guy! They are going to freak out!"
"Like you right now?" Alexis asked with a funny face.
"And she said she wasn't like her family..." Kali laughed.
"No no, this is going to get ugly…really ugly"
"What is going to get ugly?" Jesse asked walking in the room. He had just gotten out of the shower and was only wearing a towel around his waist that covered him all the way to his knees.
"Oh my god!" Brenda freaked out. "Wait, they called today? They probably had the tickets since I left…They probably were planning on dragging me back home so…"
"What's up with her?" Jesse asked trying not to laugh as hard as the two step sisters were laughing.
"She is freaking out because she thinks her family is going to freak out"
"Because they ARE going to freak out!" Brenda freaked out.
"Why?"
"Her life style" Alexis pointed.
"You living in here and walking around naked"
"Oh, I remember that! She asked me if I lived here—
Brenda jumped on him and grabbed his shoulders. "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"I said I didn't live here. I sort of thought that your mom wouldn't like it. I didn't want to get you in trouble" Jesse said trying to get her to sit by his side. Brenda relaxed a little and then apologized. "I am sorry, it is just, my family…"
Kali and Alexis sat on the couch too. It wasn't a very big couch, but they were used to squeeze themselves on that couch because it was the best one in the whole apartment. Alexis grabbed her hands and smiled. "I know we don't know you as well as your family or your old friends do, and I know that although you like us and you trust us, you don't tell us everything…but you have to let go Bren, you have to be who you want to be, no who your family wants you to be. They love you, they'll understand, and if they don't, they don't deserve you. Besides, I don't think that any mother likes that her child goes away to the other side of the world but she let you go because she loved you and she wanted you to be happy, if you are happy, why wouldn't she approve?"
Brenda thought about it. Alexis was right but still, it was different. She didn't know why, she didn't know how to explain it but she knew that her family would make a big deal, although, now she though about it. They didn't have to know that Jesse lived there and they didn't have to know about her job. She could lie, she could say she was going parting. Her mom wouldn't like it anyway but at least, she didn't have to know that she worked around drunken people. That she had access to alcohol without any control. And Dylan, Dylan would either make a scene or ignore her and she couldn't take either one. Dylan would do something crazy, he would come and mess up everything she had worked on and then, when she thought they were finally happy, he would leave…She wouldn't let him break her heart ever again. Even if she had to break his first.
"I guess you are right"
"I am always right" Alexis said. "So, are you ready to see your family, will they be surprised?"
Jesse started laughing all of the sudden. "What?" They all asked.
"I think they have already seen you"
"What do you mean?" Brenda asked.
"Well, our video is going to LA. And if hits as hard as it did here, they are going to be playing in on TV like the whole freaking day."
"Which one?" Brenda asked.
"Such better days" Jesse said.
Dylan groaned in his bed and rolled around. Someone had turned the TV on and he had a big hangover. The rock music coming from the speakers was driving him inside. Besides, they had this horrible English accent that he hated. They had a really hard English hard.
"DUUDDEEE! IT IS BRENDA!" Steve yelled.
Steve and Dylan had decided to share an apartment in LA and he had hated it so far. The bad thing wasn't to live with Steve but to stand all the girls he brought home every single day. Steve always wanted him to do the same, to bring some chick home and give her a big time but he didn't feel like it. In fact, he didn't even enjoy sex as much as he used to. Whose fault was it? Brenda's, there was no doubt. He didn't hate Brenda, he hated himself for letting her go.
"Dude, you are drunk…already" Dylan groaned and tried to go back to sleep.
Steven run in the room and tried to get Dylan out of bed. "Dyl, seriously, is Brenda. She looks all revel and she is even wearing black leather, man, if you miss it, you will regret it your whole goddamn life, and it sucks enough…already"
"Brenda Walsh?" Dylan asked. He didn't believe his friend. Steven pulled him out of bed and dragged him to the living room, which was full of trash and empty cans, clothes, and useless stuff. Dylan couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. It was Brenda, she looked different though. She looked more like him.
She was wearing a black baggy shirt with the drawing of guitar, a short black leather mini skirt. Dylan couldn't help but obsess with those legs that drove him crazy. She looked so…different and so sexy at the same time. She looked damn sexy.
"How could you let that hottie go? Are you gay Dylan?" Steven asked looking at Brenda in the screen. "I mean, man, you had sex with her, you must have seen her naked! Are you blind?"
"Oh shut up you pervert" Dylan said feeling like he wanted to punch Steven in the face. He was a nice guy but he was talking about Brenda—the only girl that he had ever loved—like if she was a piece of meat. Although, at the moment, he couldn't help but imagine an X-rated Brenda, boy was she hot.
"Aren't you going to see her next week?"
"Yeah…" Dylan said silently pleading that the clip would never be over. He wondered what had happened…why would be Brenda acting like that? That wasn't Brenda…or was she? Now he thought about it, he had always been the one with the dark side, what if Brenda had one too but it was too suppressed inside of her? Maybe she just didn't show it because she knew better. Maybe it was just an act. She was an actress, right? She could be acting, of course, she was acting. Dylan tried to convince himself that she was acting.
"Jim and Cindy are gonna freak out" Steven said. "Kelly is going to freak out"
Dylan smiled. For a second, it had seemed like they were back in high school and caught up in the Drama in between Kelly and Brenda. He always had fun with it, even if it only hurt him, deep down, he found it funny.
Dylan attempted to go back to his room but Steve made him sit on the couch. "The interviews to the group"
"I don't give a damn about the group!" Dylan yelled all of the sudden. For some reason he had gotten so mad. He had remembered how heartbroken he was.
"But Brenda—
"She said she was going to come back!" Dylan yelled hurting more than ever. "She said she was going to come back for me! She didn't! Now she has another life, screw her, screw Brenda! If she likes being a whore on the MTV…"
"Dude, Bren is anything but a whore." Steve warned him. He didn't like people talking crap about Brenda.
"I know, but still!" Dylan tried to calm himself down. Then, he saw him, Jesse, talking about his inspiration. "… Yeah, I found her, she is amazing. We are really close friends so I asked her if she could help us with the clips, … Yeah, she is a great actress we have a lot of fun …"
"What a phony!" Dylan yelled. "He doesn't know shit about Brenda!"
"She doesn't talk much about America. … I can't tell you that … Because she trusts me…"
"She trusts me!" Dylan yelled to the TV being completely childish.
"Dylan, you are talking to the TV" Steve informed him
On TV, Jesse smiled and did crazy stuff with his band while he answered all the questions asked, most of the questions were about the new American girl who seemed to have stolen his heart. " … No we are not going out"
"Bastard you better not touch her!" Dylan said getting all mad. "Seriously Steve, as soon as I get to England I am gonna kick that pretty boy's ass so hard that he won't know where the kicks are coming from!"
"He looks like a nice guy! He is just asking questions about Brenda"
"How dare he!" Dylan said. He was pissed but he didn't turn the TV off. "Seriously man, when I see her she has hell of explanation to do!"
"Dylan, she is working. She is not even in there"
"Yes, I thank god for that because if she was the whole world would be drooling and looking at her like pervs, like you!"
"I am not the one that's mad because a rock star is talking about her"
"He is not a star! If he doesn't make it in LA he will never make it in the…"
"… And the British rock band Giants in the Sky has already sold thousands of albums in London, here in LA, people are desperate to get the album. People, these young men could be the new Rolling Stones! The reporter"
"Over my dead body!" Dylan crossed his arms shaking his head. "They are just pretty boys."
Steve doubted whether to laugh or not. Dylan had changed so much since Brenda was gone, it seemed like he only was Dylan McKay when Brenda wasn't mentioned. Whenever someone talked about her, he would start denying and behaving like a first grader. He knew how much Dylan was hurting and how bad he missed Brenda…but he also knew how stubborn Dylan was, he knew that the McKay would never admit that he was in love with Brenda if she didn't admit it first. Although, he would go to London just to say hi. Nobody understood Dylan McKay when it was about Brenda, not even Dylan himself.
"I'm bringing her back" Dylan said. "I am so bringing her back"
