"Ready to go?" Tai questioned.
"I guess," I mumbled.
"Don't worry, Ken's coming over, I won't yell at you for leaving early again…I just want to know why you left this time. You never did explain to me the first time."
"You ok?" Ken wondered.
I smiled at Tai and looked over at Ken. I put my mouth up to his ear. "I'll tell you when Tai's not around…He'll be leaving five minutes after we get home."
He nodded and looked over at Tai. Ken smiled and Tai smiled back at us.
"Lets go, I have to get ready for soccer practice. Mom has a cooking class…And, like always, Dad's at work," Tai told us.
"Just…Tai…Don't go after any soccer balls," I said as we began to walk.
"I won't Kari…I won't…"
We quickly walked home in silence.
Tai opened the door and walked in. He noticed a note on the fridge.
"It says, had to leave early, talk to you guys later, love Mom," Tai read.
"Was she up when you left?" I asked Tai.
"No, I left her a note," he looked on the counter. He moved a coffee cup. "I guess Mom just didn't see it."
I sighed. "Maybe she didn't know we left."
"Maybe," Tai smiled as he grabbed his bag. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have soccer practice."
"Ok Tai, I'll see you when you get home."
He left us alone.
I quickly turned to Ken. "This is terrible!"
"What's terrible?" Ken wondered.
"Everything!"
"Kari, tell me what's bothering you."
I sat on the couch and motioned Ken to sit next to me. He did.
"Now, will you tell me?" he questioned.
"First, I have a poem to write for tomorrow. Second, I have to get to America without my parents knowing and get T.K. back to Japan. And, finally, Davis is being a complete jerk!" I frowned.
"Is that why you were late? Did you guys get into a fight?"
"No, well, kind of. I was kind of depressed after getting off the phone with you. Davis came out of his apartment and saw me crying. He was being all sweet about it. I told him that we needed to go, so I said I would tell him about it later. He had to bring in the phone, and his parents and June woke up. Davis was holding my hand as we were ready to go. His parents were asking why he was holding my hand. June told them that I was his girlfriend. Davis never told his parents about us being together…I never knew. Mrs. Motomiya was telling me how I'm good for Davis. That he isn't the smartest person and gets into trouble. Davis started to yell at them because they were putting him down right in front of me. After I told everyone when we met about the plan to get T.K. back, I was talking to Davis. He was yelling about his parents not ever caring about him. He was saying that they never care if he does something right anymore. Then…I began to yell at him. It was stupid of me, so I decided to walk away. I then had Yolei walk with Davis to make sure he went home. I would have done it myself, but I couldn't be around him with him that way."
"Sometimes you make me wonder why you picked him," Ken looked away.
"Huh?"
"Davis seems to put you through a lot of pain. Sometimes it doesn't look like he even cares about you. I mean, you seem to hurt a whole lot more when you're around him."
"I know it seems that way, but it really isn't. Davis will always care for me, just like I'll care for him…We just fight sometimes. That's what happens when you get someone with depression and someone that's a hothead together. Conflicts always happen, it's part of life and relationships. It's just…With my depression…It seems like our conflicts are bigger. That's what happens."
Ken looked away. "I'm sorry about the phone converstation. When you asked me if the photo I tripped over was Sam, it made me hurt."
I closed my eyes tight. I was trying to hold back the tears. Sam was hit by a car. He was killed by a car. Why didn't I figure this out sooner?
"You ok?" he asked.
"Sam was hit by a car…Right?" I wondered.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?"
I looked at my wrists and couldn't hold back the tears anymore. "I hate this…I truly, truly hate all of this."
"Don't say that."
"But, it's true. You know it's true!"
Ken placed his hands on my shoulders and slowly rubbed them. He was trying to calm me down.
"It hurts," we said at the same time. At that point, I knew we were going to the Dark World…And this time I wanted to.
"Ah, the Dark World. This world is trash!" I yelled.
"Calm down," Ken told me.
"Why should I? It's my own head! I created this place!"
Ken covered my mouth. "We created it…It's our heads."
I pulled away and fell to the ground. I began to cry. "Take over my heart and mind! Do it just like you did Ken! Pull me away from the pain!"
"Kari!" Ken yelled.
"Take me away!"
Ken pulled me up by the arm. He quickly slapped me across the face. "You don't know what you're talking about Kari! You don't want this place to take over anymore than it has. It's no fun. Kari, you have to believe me. You're being stupid, and I hate seeing you this way. I don't want to be here anymore. Lets go back Kari…Please Kari."
"But it hurts…"
"I know Kari. It will forever hurt. It's something you'll soon have to learn to live with. Look at me…I have. I know you don't think it's worth the pain, but…Wouldn't you rather love instead of being locked away in here forever? Think about it Kari."
"I'm sick of thinking. My thoughts are what brought me here…They're why I'm so stupid! The Motomiya's are wrong! Davis isn't the stupid one…I am!"
"No, no, no, no, no, you're very smart. You know that Kari. Just, lets get out of here. Ok?"
Something felt weird. I didn't feel myself. It felt like something was trying to control me. "Help me Ken…Help me!" I fell to the ground in tears. I was right. The darkness finally got control of me. It took over my brain…And my heart.
"Kari, what's happening?" Ken asked.
"Help," was the last words I could get out before the darkness fully took over me.
"No! This can't be happening. Kari, you're stronger than this…Fight the darkness!"
I pushed Ken down. "The darkness will rule."
Ken quickly grabbed onto me and embraced me. He slowly put his mouth up to my ear. "Say it."
"Help," I managed to get out. Ken had said it with me, but it didn't happen. We didn't leave the Dark World. It was if we were trapped.
"Ok, lets fight the darkness. You can do it Kari," Ken looked around.
I was trying to find some sort of light. I mentally fought the darkness. At the point when I was almost finished, I found just enough light to hold myself together. I pulled Ken towards me. I knew I didn't have enough time to explain, I just did what I needed. My lips lightly touched his as I began to kiss him. Ken slowly kissed me back. I fell to the ground. The kiss broke the spell. I wasn't under the darkness's control anymore.
"Kari?" Ken questioned.
"I'm so sorry…It was the only thing that I could think of," I weakly said.
"It was nothing," Ken smiled.
"Then…Why did it feel like it meant so much more?" I questioned myself.
"Are you ok Kari?" Ken wondered.
"You're right…Having the darkness take over wasn't any fun," I faked a smile.
"Try having it take over for a long time. It slowly eats at you until you can't control it."
"Ken…I'm ready to go back now."
Ken grabbed my arm and rapped his around me.
"Home…"
And that was that. I was scared. Not just a childish scared, but a really great fear. I was scared that I would go back to the Dark World. Scared that I was going to be taken away with the darkness. But most of all…I was scared that the darkness was still taking over my heart.
Ken turned to me. "Kari…"
"Yes Ken?" I politely questioned.
"Is it ok?"
"Is what ok?"
"Is it ok that I liked it?"
I sighed and looked away. "Yeah Ken…If you're talking about the kiss, then yes…It's ok."
"I hope we never have to return to the Dark World."
"It's part of us Ken. We can never get rid of the darkness. I wish it was that simple…But nothing ever is."
"As long as the darkness isn't in your heart anymore."
"Right…"
"Kari?"
"Yes?"
"It's not all gone…Is it?"
"No…"
"Kari!"
"Calm down Ken…This will only hurt for a split second," once again, I couldn't control myself.
"No…"
"Sweet Ken, why must you fight?" the inner darkness wondered.
I was forced to shift my arm forward to hit Ken. He quickly caught it and pulled me towards him. I couldn't figure out what was happening, but when he pressed his lips up against mine, I figured it all out. Ken was trying to break the darkness, but all it did was put me in a daze.
I can't do this…I shouldn't do this! I thougth.
I pulled myself away from Ken. I was weak and quickly fell to the floor. I couldn't hold back any longer, the tears swelled in my eyes and dripped down my cheeks. In my mind I knew Ken was trying to help, but in my heart I knew it was wrong.
I'm sorry Davis…I betrayed our love…I don't deserve your trust.
Ken knelt down besides me. "Kari…I know I shouldn't, but I have to leave you this way. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I'll stop by the high school to tell Tai I left…I'll tell him what happened too."
"No! The things that happened must not be told. It will be a secret between us…It can't leave this room. No one else can know!" I warned him.
"Ok," he walked out the door.
After the door closed, I let myself fall hard on the floor. I turned onto my back and let the tears flow to the floor. I tightly closed my eyes hoping that this was just a bad dream, but it wasn't. After a few minutes of sobbing, I pulled myself together. I had to get the poem done for school. I couldn't let Tai see me this way, not again. The last thing I needed was another mental break down. I dragged myself to the bedroom and plopped myself on the bed. I pulled the notebook out of my backpack and hoped that the poem would just come to me. I had no such luck. I stared at the paper and thought about what has happened in my life. After an hour or so, I finally got the poem for class.
Moved Away, I thought. You moved away. Left me in misery. Lost all my hope. I wanted you to come home. You were the only person that could understand the things I said; the things I did. I never got my way. I was lost in a darkness so great. I felt alone. I would cry myself to sleep. If only I got one wish, one thing to come true. I wanted you back; I needed you. A friendship could last. Even with this great distance. I wouldn't let it pass. I would never let myself lose such a person with greatness that you have. I wouldn't do any such thing. I would never forget the things we did; the friendship we had. One day we'll be brought together. Once again, we'll have the things we used to have. The friendship that was lasting so long. Good things happen. I would never let myself lose you. Not now, not my best friend.
I thought my poem was rather good. I wrote it as I thought about getting T.K. back. I smiled at my work and let myself fall back in the bed. I closed my eyes tight and let out a sigh. I could feel the tears breaking through the cracks. My smile turned into a frown. I let go of the notebook and my pen. I gasped for air as the tears turned into an uncontrollable sob. I was thinking about too many things at once. The betray of my love, the loss of T.K., the fight for my life, and Tai's lying.
"Why must all the ones I love put me through so much pain?" I mumbled.
I threw everything off the bed. I opened my eyes and threw myself against the bed again. I couldn't control my crying. I was in so much pain. As I gasped for air, I finally came to a rest. I had fell asleep, but I was far away from getting rid of the pain.
I could feel myself tossing and turning in my sleep. It wasn't a restful sleep, but I needed to regain my energy…No matter how painful it was.
It felt like I was sleeping for years. I opened my eyes to Tai softly placing a wet cloth on my head. My first thought was to grab his hand; I did. A small smile grew on his face.
"T-Tai…What time is it?" I questioned.
"It's midnight," Tai said.
Midnight? It felt like forever passed after I drifted off to sleep.
"I noticed that you were having a hard time sleeping. It must be the thought of getting T.K. back."
I placed his hand on my cheek. I then noticed I was sweating and still crying. "Thanks for everything Tai."
"I wouldn't want another accident to happen."
"Tai, you should get some sleep. I'm better now that you're home," I was partly lying. I was glad he was home, but I was far from being better.
He kissed me on the cheek and climbed to the top bunk. "You know where I am if you need anything. Ok?"
"Right…"
I tightly closed my eyes. I let the tears easily form and fall down my cheeks. I knew Tai could hear my whimpering. It was at that point that I knew Tai would think it was more than just T.K. bothering me. At that point, I didn't care. All I could think about was about what I did to Davis. It's going to kill me to tell him the truth, but I just wouldn't let myself lie. Tai kept on mumbling things to himself. My mind finally shut off and blocked everything. I was able to let myself fall asleep, but I knew I was going to wake up to a cold sweat and more tears. No dreams comforted me that night. Not even a nightmare filled my mind. I had a feeling I was keeping Tai up. I couldn't control my constant tossing and turning. My heart ached, and I can only blame myself. The Dark World tried to take me over, and in the beginning, I wanted it to. So, I will never blame Ken for the mistakes I made. If Davis really did love me, I know he won't care. And, if I truly love him, I won't keep what happened from him.
