He took me to the boiler room. When I realized where we were headed I tried pulling my hand back but he wouldn't let go. I couldn't remember ever seeing him so determined.
Just looking at the little area brought back so many memories. Good memories but also painful ones. We never really came back here much after we started dating. Jordan would usually just catch me on my way into school and we'd sit in his car or drive around. And we definitely hadn't been down here since we broke up.
"Ok look Jordan, what's going on? You can't just pull me out of English to come down here." I tugged my hand out of his and he turned to face me. He searched my face and sighed.
"Angela…I need to tell you something."
I stared at him. He looked so nervous. I cleared my throat and whispered, "About what?"
"That letter…look, I didn't- I didn't…actually write it."
I couldn't believe it. Was Jordan actually admitting that Brian had written the letter?
He turned away from my eyes and ran his hand through his hair. "I just…you were so angry and I didn't know what to say to get you to forgive me. You know I'm not-I'm not good with words. Brain knew what to say so I just kinda borrowed his words…or whatever."
My eyes were moist. "Did you-" I cleared my throat again. "Did you mean them?"
Jordan turned around and looked at me-really looked at me. He slowly moved closer and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "Yeah…I meant them. That night…that was the stupidest thing I have ever done. I was uh, jealous cause you seemed like you liked that guy…Corey." He looked over my head as he said the name and kind of shook his head like he couldn't believe he was saying this.
He was jealous? I couldn't believe it. Jordan Catalano was jealous of Corey…because of me.
I must have looked at him funny because he stepped back defensively. "What? You don't believe me?"
I tilted my head to the side, "No, I just…I just never expected you to-to feel that way."
His blue eyes darted up to mine before flicking away again. "Yeah…" he muttered quietly, "me neither."
"I didn't-I didn't really like him Jordan."
He looked up quickly and half-smiled. "You didn't?"
"No. But that doesn't-that doesn't change what you did. You slept with Rayanne…with my best friend." Just thinking about it made all the hurt come rushing back and I stopped talking.
"I can't...give you a reason for why I did it. I was drunk but that doesn't excuse it. I don't even like her. Like at all. Angela," he stepped so close to me that my back hit the wire fence. "I like you. You-you're different from all the other girls I've been with. You don't just want sex." He smiled suddenly and I felt redness creeping up my neck remembering our past in that area. "Heck, you don't want sex. You expect so much from me. At first it annoyed me because I didn't want a relationship. I'd never had a… a real girlfriend before and I knew you would want to talk and…stuff."
I stared at him in amazement. Jordan had never been this open with his feelings before. I mean we'd talked about his band and school, but never his feelings about us. I was scared to speak, scared that I would ruin the moment and he would hide again.
He fingered a piece of my hair and focused on it intently as he spoke. "I know I've been a jerk to you. I just couldn't…talk to you sometimes. You know so much more about me than most other people but you don't judge me for it. You tried to help me with school…you believe in me."
He met my eyes and held them. It was like he was trying to show me the truth behind his words. "I'm scared one day you'll suddenly see me the way I really am and realize that I'm not as good as you think I am. When I saw you with Corey…I guess I thought that that was it. That you'd found someone better."
I tilted my head. I understood him now. All the questions I'd had were suddenly answered and it was like this huge weight had been lifted off my chest.
"I deserve your hate Angela. But I'd really- I really want a second chance."
I reached up and pushed his hair back. Jordan leaned into my touch and closed his eyes. I couldn't hate him anymore. I just couldn't. My hand slid around his neck and I stood on tiptoes. We were so close. Our lips weren't quite touching but if I so much as shifted we'd be kissing. His eyes opened a fraction and he gazed down at me. His hand slowly trailed up my arm and rested on my face.
Then, suddenly, we were kissing. His mouth closed on mine and he kissed me softly. Almost as if he were afraid I would suddenly disappear. I pressed myself closer to him and the kiss grew more passionate. Suddenly he pulled away. Instinctively I sought his lips again but he opened his eyes.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
I smiled slowly, "I forgive you."
This time there was no hesitation.
AN: I often find myself stuck when I try to write long chapters. For this story I've decided to write shorter chapters, and it seems to be working so far. As time goes on I might expand the chapters…. So review and tell me what you think! Did you feel it was too out of character for Jordan?
