ATTENTION! I added a small section (about Jordan and Shane) to the last chapter after I posted it originally. So make sure you've read that part before reading this!
Okay, so I admit it. I'm not actually sick. I rolled over and onto my back and stared at the ceiling. I probably shouldn't have skipped school. It's just… Things are really good with Jordan right now…but I can't help waiting for something to happen to screw it up. And Valentine's Day is like the biggest threat of them all right now.
I sighed and put my hands behind my head. See, I know Jordan probably didn't remember it was Valentine's Day today. And that's okay, really. I mean, before I would have gotten really upset because he didn't get me chocolate or a card, but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore. I've realized that I can't hold Jordan Catalano to my expectations of what a boyfriend should be, because he's not your typical boyfriend.
I frowned and looked down. That is, if he's actually my boyfriend. I mean, we've never really classified our relationship like that. I've never said "my boyfriend Jordan," and he's definitely never called me his girlfriend. Jordan just isn't the kind of guy you really picture being in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, so I have no idea what he says we are.
I bit my lip pensively. And I'd feel really awkward calling him my boyfriend unless he called me his girlfriend first.
I smiled reluctantly, admitting it to myself. And while I would absolutely love it if that happened, I'm not holding my breath.
I shook my head slightly to refocus my thoughts. Anyways, the point is that I knew Jordan would forget and when he did remember, he'd feel guilty that he hadn't gotten me anything. And I don't want him to feel guilty. I don't want any awkwardness between us right now.
I shifted restlessly and threw the covers off the bed. But there's another, more selfish reason I didn't go to school today.
See, I've never been a big fan of Valentine's Day. I'm used to getting cards and candy from my friends, but beyond Brian Krakow, I don't think I've ever been given something from a guy before- at least not in the last couple of years.
But since this year I have a…well, a…okay, because I have a Jordan, everyone will want to know what he got me. And I don't want to deal with Sharon's pointed looks or Rickie's sympathy. Because I'm not hurt by it.
I think my feelings towards Jordan Catalano have finally matured.
The corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. But if he forgets my birthday I'll kill him.
Later that night
Silverware clicking together was the only noise in the room. My mom, Danielle and I were sitting at the dinner table, eating some sort of casserole. I picked up my cup and drank from it, feeling uncomfortable.
I remember when we ate dinner together every night. It was like sacred. But lately it's become awkward to all sit together. Like we're all strangers…with nothing to talk about.
Dad was at the restaurant with Hallie, on Valentine's Day. I couldn't remember a Valentine's Day when Mom and Dad hadn't gone out to some fancy restaurant and come back giggling and flirting like teenagers. I didn't like the change.
Mom was in one of those angry silences where you're too scared to say anything for fear of getting your head bitten off. Or worse, stabbed with that knife the way she's stabbing at her green beans.
Danielle was braver than I was, because she soon started chattering away about her day. "So Ryan gave me a card with a Hershey's kiss taped to it! He didn't give a Hershey's kiss to anyone else, just me. And me and the girls all exchanged Valentine's. I ate so much candy I felt sick-"
Danielle's still at that age where you give out Valentine's to everyone. It was easier back then. You could give the guy you like a Valentine and no one would make fun of you for it. And you never had to worry about not getting Valentine's and what people would say to you if you didn't.
The doorbell rang and Danielle jumped up, "I'll get it!"
A moment later she came back with a slight frown. "It's for you."
I pushed my chair back and walked over to the door. Brian Krakow stood on the other side, shifting back and forth on his feet. "Uh, hi."
"Hey," I said, confused.
"So I like, heard from Sharon that you were sick."
"Oh. Yeah, I uh, wasn't feeling too good earlier." I wonder if all liars are doomed to spend eternity in hell. "Um, did you need something Brian?"
"Oh! No, I just wanted to uh, give you this." He took his hands out from behind his back and handed me a card. "Happy Valentine's Day."
I tried to hide my surprise. The card was simple, not unlike the ones Danielle had gotten. On the front it was black with pink lettering reading "This Valentine's Day…" Underneath was a pair of eyes. I opened up the card and there was a person smiling at another person who was glowing. "I'm glad you're my friend because you brighten up my day!" Sometimes I wonder if Brian is emotionally like, stuck in 5th grade no matter how many years pass.
"Oh…thanks Brian!" I forced a laugh and smiled at him. He looked pleased in an embarrassed sort of way.
He rubbed the back of his neck. "I was going to get a different card but they were all sold out by the time I got there."
I smiled for real. "Don't worry about it. It's the thought that counts."
He nodded and started to back across my porch. "Okay, well, goodnight!"
"Goodnight," I responded, "Oh, and Brian?"
He stopped and looked up at me.
"Happy Valentine's Day." Brian grinned and turned away to walk back to his house.
I closed the door and leaned against it, looking at the card. It was pretty nice of him.
The doorbell rang again and I jumped away from the door. What did Brian want now? I opened the door a crack and then swung it wide open, staring in astonishment at Jordan Catalano. He smiled at me, and it registered somewhere in my confused mind that he seemed rather unsure. "Hey," he said, rubbing the back of his neck in the same way Brian had just moments ago.
"Uh, hi." I frowned slightly and looked behind me towards the dining room. I pulled the door slightly closed behind me, shivering as the cold air hit my bare legs. "Um, what- what are you doing here?"
He shrugged casually, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Wanna go somewhere?"
I shook my head, certain I had heard him wrong. "What?"
He repeated his question and looked at me expectantly.
"Um, it's…it's a school night. I'm not really supposed to go out."
"Is your mom home?" He asked suddenly, tilting his head.
"Uh, yeah," I wondered if that was a trick question. Was he asking if I could sneak out?
"Cool." Jordan brushed my shoulder as he passed by me into the dining room.
I turned and stared after him in confusion. Why did everything with Jordan Catalano always seem like some sort of vivid dream?
I trailed after him and found him sitting at one of the stools in the kitchen, talking to my mom as she washed dishes. Her mood from earlier had almost completely disappeared and she was nodding her head at whatever he was saying. I'm in the twilight zone.
I frowned and cleared my throat. "Uh, guys?"
They both glanced over at me and Jordan stood up. My mom eyed us both and I could see the indecision in her eyes. "I don't know..."
"Just for a little while? I'll have her back before it gets too late."
Mom pursed her lips, and I could tell she knew she was going against her better judgment. "Alright."
I blinked and Jordan smiled slightly.
"But," she continued, jabbing her finger at him sternly, "I want her back no later than ten. You got that?"
Jordan nodded his agreement and walked over to me. Mom turned to me, "And you- go get some warmer clothes on."
She didn't have to tell me twice. Once I realized what was happening I quickly gave her a thank you kiss on the cheek and rushed out of the kitchen to change.
Jordan was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs and he led me out of the house. I followed him to the car and got in, automatically reaching over to unlock his side.
He got in and started the car, ignoring my stare.
"I cannot believe you just got my mom to let me go out on a school night with you."
He frowned, "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, it's just weird."
"Your mom's cool." His voice sounded slightly wistful but reached over and turned music on before I could question him.
A while later we were in this secluded area- I think it was a little outside of town. It was completely dark and the only lights were from the stars. He parked the car and I got out, looking around curiously.
Beyond some trees a little ways away, it almost looked like we were in some field. It was too dark to really see where we were, but I knew I'd never been there before. "Where are we?"
Jordan pulled himself up onto the hood of his car. "Uh, I think this used to be some sort of pasture, but it's never used anymore."
I nodded and walked over to lean my back against the hood of the car. I jumped slightly when I felt his arms wrap around my waist from above me. He pulled me backwards onto the car and I laughed, leaning back on the car next to him. "Do you come out here a lot?"
"Nah. Just when I want to be alone and stuff."
I frowned. I never thought about that before-that Jordan would actually want to be alone to like, think. I wonder what he thinks about.
Jordan rolled over onto his side so he was facing me. He rested his hand lightly on my stomach. "So where were you today?"
I felt myself redden. It was one thing to lie to Brian but I felt embarrassed with the reason I skipped school staring right at me, waiting for my answer. "Uh, I wasn't feeling too good."
"You feel okay now?" He asked quietly, his gaze dropping to my lips.
I nodded absentmindedly and lifted my head to meet his mouth in a slow kiss. It started to get more passionate and I suddenly realized his hand had slipped under my shirt- only on my stomach, but still. Just the feel of his hand against my bare skin was sending thrills all through me. "Jordan…" I broke away from the kiss.
He groaned and dropped his head to rest in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply.
I felt guilty, but I couldn't help it. Alone out here, on his car, making out could lead to other things and I still wasn't ready. Jordan's hand remained where it was and he started tracing patterns lightly on my stomach with the tips of his fingers.
Lying there, on the hood of Jordan Catalano's car, with him next to me all draped across me and the stars above me, I felt peaceful. I could feel his heartbeat against my side and his breath against my neck. It was…romantic. My lips curved into a smile and I gazed up at the night sky. I whispered, "It's beautiful here. It's like we're the only people in the whole world."
Jordan didn't respond but I didn't mind; I was too wrapped up in the moment. I bent my arm back and ran my fingers through his hair.
He stirred, "Tino's having a party on Friday. Shane wants me to go."
"Shane's that guy I met last week, right?"
I felt his nod against my neck.
"You two are close?"
He was silent, and I started feeling stupid. Guys don't like talking about their friendships the way girls do.
"Yeah," he finally muttered, surprising me. "The other guys…I mean, they're cool and all. But like, Shane? We go way back."
I rested my cheek against the side of his head, careful not to distract or interrupt him. I was realizing that this was his way of showing me that he trusted me enough to confide in me about his personal life. About stuff other than just his band.
"He gets me, you know? Like, he sticks with me no matter what I do." He fell silent.
I closed my eyes and sighed. "Sharon's like that. You know, Cherski? I've been friends with her and Brian Krakow my whole life."
"You two don't seem very alike." His tone suggested his relief at the fact.
I laughed lightly, "No, I guess we both went our different ways when we started high school. She got all school spirited and I became friends with Rayanne and Rickie. But still…even though she doesn't always approve, she always watches out for me."
"What about Brain?" He asked, his fingers stilling.
I tensed slightly, feeling uncomfortable. Despite the fact that I couldn't see his face, I could tell Jordan was very interested in my answer. "Uh…what about Brian?"
"You two close?"
I considered it. Were we close? I bit my lip and hesitated, "I'm not sure. I mean, a week ago I would have said no, but now…" I trailed off then nodded slowly. "We're getting there."
"Oh." Jordan shifted restlessly. I turned and kissed the top of his head. "So can you come?"
"What?" I asked, confused at the abrupt change in conversation.
"To Tino's party," he clarified, fingers resuming their tracing.
I hesitated. The last party at Tino's I'd fallen in mud and sat alone in the dark. "I don't know…"
He stretched his neck and whispered, tickling my ear. "C'mon, it'll be fun."
I sighed, weakening. "Yeah, I guess. It's Friday?"
"Mm-hm," he murmured, kissing my ear. He trailed kisses down until he was openly kissing my neck.
I tilted my head slightly, feeling light-headed. "So uh…what-what time?"
"I'll pick you up at eight." He said between kisses. He sucked lightly on my skin and I pulled away, giggling.
"Stop it Jordan."
"Okay," he said and leaned in again.
I rolled my eyes, batting him away. "No seriously."
He sighed and closed his eyes. I was silent, thinking. I frowned abruptly, "Don't you have band practice right now?"
Jordan raised himself up to rest his cheek in his palm, using his elbow as support. "Yeah," he admitted, peering down at me. He sounded slightly defensive. "Why?"
I shook my head smiling. I couldn't help feeling pleased that he skipped practice to be with me. "Nothing. I just thought rehearsal was important to you."
He shrugged, "Yeah I guess." Frowning, he continued. "But the guys are idiots, you know? Without Tino we never get anything done."
"Do you have a lead singer yet?"
"Nah," he sounded depressed and he dropped his head back to my shoulder.
I bit my bottom lip, unsure. "I might have an idea for someone."
He muffled a laugh against my neck. "Angela, please don't say Rayanne Graff again."
I smacked his head, "Shut up. But seriously, what about…what about you?"
There was a startled silence and he sat up, staring at me.
"What?" I asked, "I'm serious. You sounded really good when I heard you at the loft that time. And Rickie told me you took over when Rayanne stopped singing at Vertigo."
"Well yeah, but…" he scratched the back of his head, looking out across the field.
I sat up too, wrapping my arms around my knees. "You really like music, don't you?"
He nodded slowly, his eyebrows drawn together, "Yeah, I do. I don't-I mean, you know how I'm not good with words?" He gestured with his hands, "But when I'm writing a song…it just makes so much more sense. It all fits." He brought his hands together.
I understood. "You could do it, Jordan."
He smiled suddenly, glancing over at me. "You really think?"
"Yeah, I do. I can't believe you didn't realize it before." I shoved his shoulder teasingly.
Jordan stared at me and my smile faded at the look in his eyes. He reached over and tucked a piece of my hair behind my ears. "Thanks," he whispered and then kissed me softly.
I kissed him back but after a minute pulled away and leaned back against the window. He joined me and we spent the next hour or so alternating between talking and kissing.
At one point I rolled over so that I was resting lightly on his chest. I dipped my head to capture his lips and my hair fell around our faces. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me down, closer to him. I was completely lying on him but he didn't seem to mind. I could feel the rapid pace of his heart and I knew he could feel mine. It was so intimate, lying there together, without anyone else around.
My arms were braced on either side of his head, still supporting some of my body weight. I moved my right hand and cupped his cheek, kissing him more intensely. One of his hands slowly trailed up my back and ran through my hair, around to my cheek. I felt his thumb on my chin and then he opened my mouth, deepening the kiss. I responded eagerly, lost in the sensation that was Jordan.
Several minutes I broke away, breathless. "What-" He pulled me back down to him again. When his kisses trailed down to my chin I tried again. "What time is it?"
He shook his head, distracted. "I don't know."
I leaned back away from him, trying to catch my breath. He reached over to kiss me again but I grabbed his wrist and pulled the sleeve back, peering at his watch. "It's 9:40."
This time he rolled over so that he was hovering over me. "Yeah…so?" He kissed my neck again and I struggled to keep my thoughts together. What was so important about 9:40, anyways?
This is nice, I thought. I twisted his hair around my fingers and closed my eyes. After the first attempt that night to go further, Jordan seemed content to simply make out, no more. It was so much better when I didn't have to constantly worry whether his hands were going to start roaming and I would have to stop him.
His lips returned to teasing mine. I'm so glad Mom let me come out tonight. Wait. My eyes opened wide and I jerked away from Jordan. "Crap! My mom…Jordan we have to go."
"She won't be too mad." He murmured, staring at my swollen lips wistfully.
I shook him and he glanced up at my eyes, "Do you want her to ever let me go out with you again?"
Jordan sighed and pushed himself off the car. He helped me down and we drove home, just barely making curfew.
The Next Day
Sharon shoved open the door of the girls' bathroom and marched right over to where Rayanne sat on the ledge. "Am I like, a horrible person?"
Rayanne turned and cocked an eyebrow, pulling her lollipop out of her mouth. "The worst." She agreed, shaking her head in mock-disappointment.
Sharon groaned and rubbed her forehead.
"Vinnovich?" Rayanne asked, spinning her legs around to hang off the side.
Sharon nodded and winced, "I was going to break up with him yesterday but he had reservations at Pierre's…and I just felt so guilty. So I went and afterwards…" she trailed off suggestively.
"Pierre's?" Rayanne asked, trying to hide her jealousy. "What he'd do, rob a bank?"
"C'mon Rayanne, this is serious." Sharon pleaded.
"Okay, here's what I think you should do." Rayanne lowered her voice and Sharon leaned in eagerly. "Sleep with one of his jock friends. You won't even have to break up with him cuz he'll dump you." She waved her lollipop around to emphasize her point.
"Rayanne." Sharon made an exasperated noise and rolled her eyes. "Like I'm going to sleep with another guy to get Kyle off my back. I mean, that's so low."
Rayanne shrugged carelessly, "Well it worked for me. Ya know, the few times a guy has gotten too attached."
Sharon tried to look disgusted but couldn't help laughing. Rayanne just didn't operate according to the same moral code as everyone else.
"Lollipop?" Rayanne asked, pulling a grape one out of her bag and holding it up cheerfully.
I pushed open the door to the bathroom and walked over to the sink, lost in my thoughts of last night.
"Angela, hey!"
I glanced up in surprise at the voice and smiled feebly when I saw Sharon and Rayanne close together. "Uh…hi."
Sharon looked slightly stressed, but she still smiled at me. Rayanne was distracted, her eyes focused on a spot lower than my eyes. They widened suddenly and she smirked. She hopped off the ledge and raised an eyebrow. "Woah, Catalano really did a number, didn't he?"
I frowned, too bewildered to ignore her. "What?"
Rayanne shook her head at me and flounced out of the bathroom. Sharon looked confused but then blinked and peered closer at my neck. "Uh…Angela, have you looked in a mirror today?"
"Nooo…why?" I turned to the mirror and flushed bright red when I saw the mark on my neck. I closed my eyes and covered my face. "Oh my gosh. I can't believe this." Thank God Mom went to work early.
Sharon came up next to me and patted my back, "It's not so bad. Seriously, I mean, a lot of guys think of it as a way to like, mark their territory."
I glared at her reflection, "Well no one is going to see it so it was a wasted effort." I reached down and pulled a scarf out of my bag, wrapping it carefully around my neck.
"Anyways, I thought you were like, sick. Yesterday." Sharon commented.
"Uh yeah… I was. But Jordan came by after dinner and Mom let me go out for a bit." I rinsed my hands off and dried them.
"Patty let you go out? On a school night?" She asked, her voice filled with disbelief. She followed me out of the bathroom.
"Yeah," I shrugged slightly and frowned in puzzlement. "I think…I think she likes him."
Sharon laughed at the idea but her mouth fell open when she saw my expression. "You're like, serious. Patty likes Jordan Catalano?"
"Yeah, I guess." We weaved through the crowded hallway.
"Why? I mean, no offense. But Jordan isn't…you know, the type of guy parents usually approve of."
"I don't know why. It was kind of weird, actually. I told him I probably couldn't go out, but then he asked if my mom was home. The next thing I know, Mom's telling me to go get changed."
Sharon shook her head, shrugging in a 'who understands parents?' way. "So…what'd he get you? You know, for Valentine's Day?"
I turned away from her and stepped up to my locker. I'd been trying to avoid this conversation. "Oh, well, I wasn't here yesterday."
"But didn't you see him last night?" She persisted, leaning against the locker next to mine.
"Well yeah…" I trailed off, fiddling with my combination lock.
"Wait, he didn't get you anything?"
I took a deep breath, irritated, and opened the door of my locker. Then I froze. And blinked. Lying there on top of my books was a fresh rose- perfect and brilliant red, with a card tied to it. I held my breath as I reached down and picked it up gently. I turned the card over and smiled radiantly as I read the messy scrawl.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Jordan
Author's Note- Hey everyone! I hope you liked this chapter, I worked pretty hard on it. It is incredibly loooooooong! I've actually had it written for several days now, but I was hoping I'd get more reviews before I updated. Seriously people, it takes all the fun out of updating when people don't review! It doesn't take long at all…just please comment!
Okay, let's see. I've got rough ideas of where this story is going but I need 'episode' suggestions! At this point I'm hesitant to do stuff like Sharon getting pregnant, the school board getting upset about Rickie's living arrangement, etc. because they've been done and I don't want to be copying. So I need original ideas! Or even just ideas for various scenes between characters. I can't guarantee I'll use them, but I'd love feedback! It'd be a great way to see some of your own thoughts take shape, so please respond! See you all next chapter!
