I have been fortunate to talk to some fantastic people that have helped me plan out the rest of this story. I'm pretty excited for where it will be going. And, of course, it's going to end up longer than I originally planned. It's my curse.

Enjoy!

Part 10

Of all the possibilities that crossed my mind as I waited for that front door to open, none of them was that Jill Mastrano was Lissa's sibling. Jill. Jailbait. The girl that would look at me with hero-worship with those green eyes that were so like Eric's. They were Dragomir eyes.

I don't know what was more shocking to Jill, her being Lissa's half-sister and a royal, or that Sonya was no longer Strigoi. All things considered, she took it well. Her mother, Emily, was not too pleased with me revealing the secret to Jill, but she deserved to know. She needed to know so that she could help Lissa.

This was all to help Lissa. I kept repeating to myself.

I was grateful to Emily for opening her house to us; we had decided to stay and rest before making the trip back to Court. Or at least that's what we told Victor. Dimitri and I were planning to take care of him and his brother before we left.

Sonya and Robert combined their powers to charm his and Victor's appearance, not wanting to alert the Mastrano household to the escaped fugitive in their house. They were all currently downstairs, a feeder being called to the home. Not wanting to let them out of our sight, Dimitri was down there with them.

I took the chance to shower and change and then would switch with Dimitri so he could do the same. I was also going to contact Mikhail, using Sonya's focus on feeding and her family downstairs so she wouldn't know about it until he was here.

Groaning, I was shifting through my bag of clothes; there weren't a whole lot of options. With my pair of jeans ruined, I was limited in choices. Lissa had packed one set of my guardian uniform, but I wanted to save that for our return to Court. Other than that, my only option was a dress that she, for reasons unknown, thought I would have needed.

The dress was a simple cut, a V neckline, coming in at the waist and then flowing out to my knees. I had bought it for times when Lissa would invite me out to fancier places. It would have to do for today. Maybe Emily would allow me to do some laundry while here.

Once dressed, I fished through Dimitri's bag on the edge of the bed to retrieve the phone Abe had given him, putting in Mikhail's number. Taking a deep breath before dialling.

He answered on the fourth ring. "Tanner."

"Mikhail, it's Rose."

"Rose? Is everything okay?" He asked, no doubt assuming the worst.

I smiled, "Yeah, it is. At least, mostly. Listen, I need you to come meet us." I went on to explain to him everything in regards to our mission and Victor travelling with us, being careful to avoid mentioning Sonya by name.

He was silent for a moment, "That's a lot."

"Yeah. Do you think you could be here soon?" I was chewing on my thumbnail, deciding if I should warn him before he got here or not. Throughout the conversation, I could tell there was something off, a tone to his voice. Maybe he was feeling the bond.

"I can be there in a couple of hours."

"Mikhail," I spoke before he could hang up, "There's something you should know… It's about Sonya."

There was a sharp inhale, "You found her didn't you? The one that gave you the information. That you restored, it was her wasn't it?"

"Yeah."

"I thought… I thought I was going insane." There was a tremor in his voice, "She's alive."

The awe and joy in his voice made me smile, tears welling up in my eyes, "Yeah. I haven't told her yet that I was calling you. I'm not sure if she feels anything or if she's like Dimitri," I confessed.

"It's probably for the best to wait. I'll text when I'm close."

After hanging up, I sat on the bed for a couple of minutes. I mourned my bond with Dimitri, and I hoped that Sonya and Mikhail wouldn't have to go through the same.

Dragging my fingers through my hair, I made myself stand. The shifting of the weight knocked Dimitri's bag to the floor, his clothes and a book falling out. Cursing under my breath, I quickly picked it all up, shoving it back in. When I picked up the book, I froze.

I stared at the cover. It was one of the ones I gave to him at the cell, running my fingers over it. I was so hopeful that day, my excitement for the bond and that Dimitri would realise it and want me again.

I knew I should just put it back in his bag, but the corners of white paper tucked in between the pages caught my attention.

Carefully I opened the book, unsurprised to find the envelope of family photos there, but what was underneath it made my heart skip a beat. It was my letter.

From his reaction when Lissa had tried to give it to him, I expected him to throw it away or even rip it up. But here it laid, folded and in the pages of his favourite book. Unfolding the paper, I was surprised by how worn the creases were. How many times did he read this?

"Rose? Is everything ok-"

My eyes snapped to Dimitri's. His widened before narrowing in on the letter in my hand, the bond exploding with a combination of emotions, filtering through them so quickly I couldn't catch one before it changed to another. And then, just as suddenly as they were there, they were cut off.

Dimitri stepped further into the room, "What are you doing?"

He didn't sound angry, which was what I was expecting. Instead, he appeared nervous. "I'm sorry, I accidentally knocked your bag, and it fell out and…." I glanced back at the letter in my hand, "You didn't throw it away." I still couldn't believe it.

"No. I couldn't."

I looked back up at him, confused. He couldn't? I swallowed thickly, "Why not?"

He answered slowly, "At first, it was because of Lissa."

I dropped my eyes.

"But then, I kept it because it was from you, and each time I read it, something would come back to me."

My breath caught. Watching as he crossed the room, lowering to the ground beside me, crossing his legs.

"Things have been changing. Making me reconsider so much. With Donovan, and then Sonya… it's strange."

As he spoke, I shifted closer, not even fully aware I had done so until my knee was pressed against his, my hand resting on his forearm. A burst of heat shooting through me from where our skin touched. It had been so long since we had, the bond practically singing from it. The emotions that he had guarded were more obvious now.

Regret. Awe. Despair. But also a spark of joy, or maybe it was hope.

His eyes locked on mine, "Every day, I figure out something new. Some new emotion I'd forgotten to feel. Some revelation I totally missed. Some beauty I didn't see."

The look he was giving me was becoming intense. I glanced away, trying to break the tension, "You can't include my hair from the alley on that list. You were in shock."

I hid the shiver that travelled through me when his finger brushed against my hair hanging over my shoulder. He smiled, "No, Roza. It was beautiful. It's beautiful now."

My heart sped up from the expression in his eyes. It was so similar to what I used to see, how he used to look at me. I had to trample down the hope rising in me.

I should just stand up and move away from him.

But the pull of the bond kept me there, and the memory of what we once shared. My fingers curled a little tighter around his arm. Our eyes were locked. It wouldn't take much for me to close the distance between us, to go up on my knees slightly to catch his lips with mine.

He will only hurt you again.

I froze. Feeling like I had been slapped, my senses returning. Dimitri still didn't feel the bond, this could all be a temporary thing to him, and he could leave me broken and alone again.

"Roza?" Dimitri asked, noticing the change.

The sound of screams from downstairs cut off my reply.

We both reacted instantly, racing downstairs, Dimitri pulling his stake out just in case. It was daylight, so it wasn't a Strigoi, but it was still useful to have a weapon. I could hear frantic voices, Sonya yelling, calling Jill's name.

Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I took in the mess of the living room, the table and armchair turned over. The front door was wide open, Sonya on the ground pointing to it. There outside was Victor and Robert forcing Jill into Sydney's car.

I was running before really thinking; all I knew was that I needed to save Jill. They come first. I was a couple of feet from them when I hit something and flew back, landing on Dimitri, who was running behind me, sending us both tumbling to the ground. Robert was using his powers on us. An invisible force held us both down as they started the car and sped away.

"No!" I yelled, finally breaking through the forcefield; it had weakened as they drove away一with Jill.

Fuck!

Dimitri leapt to his feet, quickly running back into the house; I followed after him. I didn't understand what had happened or how the brothers managed to grab Jill and escape.

All I knew for sure was it was my fault for not being down here to protect her. I brought Victor here, and now Jill was in trouble.

Sonya was still on the ground sobbing. Dimitri ran towards the kitchen while I went to Sonya. Grabbing her by the shoulders, "Sonya, what happened? Where are the others?" I asked. No one else was making any sound.

"He compelled them!" She cried.

Dimitri was racing back out the front door, car keys in hand. "Break them out of it. We are going after Jill!" I ordered Sonya, "Tell Sydney to try to track the car and call Abe's phone." Grateful that I thought to grab the phone when we ran down here. I snatched it up off the grass outside where I had dropped it, running to the car in their driveway.

Dimitri was already behind the wheel, starting the car as I jumped into the passenger seat. My door was barely closed before he was pulling away, tires screeching as we followed in the direction Victor had gone.

I was bracing myself on the dashboard as Dimitri weaved through the streets. Jill's house was near the main road, making it easy for Victor to disappear with the other cars. I glanced at Dimitri, "We have to find her."

His fingers tightened on the wheel, knuckles turning white, "I know."


I slammed the door of the car closed, all my frustration and guilt pent up, churning within me with the darkness. We searched for hours and found nothing. Even Sydney wasn't able to gain anything from tracking the car; by the time we had found it, the brothers had abandoned it on the side of the road. No doubt they had compelled someone else to give them their car.

Jill was missing, and it was all my fault.

"Rose, we'll find her," Dimitri told me.

I scowled, "You don't know that. She's gone, comrade!" I pulled at my hair, "I never should've agreed to take this stupid mission. If I had just let them throw me into jail, then I wouldn't have brought Victor here, and Jill would still be safe!" I was yelling; my hands clenched into fists.

It was all my fault. I destroy lives.

Dimitri's hands were on mine, gently untangling them from my hair, "No, think of the good you've done."

I laughed, but it was hollow, "I haven't done anything good," I replied ruefully.

"Because of you, Sonya is alive again. And Lissa has a chance to be on the Council and do great things because you managed to find her sister. You have done a lot of good, Roza."

Shaking my head, I tried to pull away from him, "Jill is missing an -"

"So we'll find her." He told me, "Don't give up yet."

Staring into his eyes, I felt myself calming. The dark emotion was still there just below the surface, but I felt more control of it. I released a deep breath. "Okay." Dimitri released my hands, knowing he had managed to get through to me. "Okay. How do we find her?"

Turns out our way of finding her would be through Sonya. After we managed to calm everyone down, Sonya told us she could try contacting Jill through her dreams, so now we needed to wait for Jill to sleep.

I hated waiting. Dimitri did as well, but he was better at concealing it. He was in the front room of the house waiting for Mikhail, who would be arriving soon, while I was upstairs with Sydney and Sonya. The latter sat on the bed, meditating, waiting to sense that Jill had fallen asleep.

I couldn't tell if she sensed Mikhail getting closer through their bond; if she could, she hadn't mentioned it.

Sydney was unnerved from the whole experience, not being compelled by a spirit user before. I crossed the room to stand beside her, standing against the wall. I gently nudged her with my elbow.

"Why don't you go get something to drink or eat?" At her unsure look, I encouraged her, "It'll be okay up here. Take some time for yourself." With one more nudge, Sydney agreed, leaving the room with a mumbled thanks. I felt bad for her; these last few days have really pushed her from her comfort zone.

"She'll be okay."

I looked over at Sonya; head cocked in question.

She smiled, "Your aura."

I rolled my eyes, "Of course." We lapsed back into silence.

"Earlier," I started, drawing Sonya's attention again, "you were looking at my aura and said it was interesting. Why?"

Sonya uncrossed her legs, letting them stretch out on the bed, "You and Dimitri both have very bright auras, your souls are intertwined, and yet the connection between them seems blocked."

"We're soulmates… Or at least he is mine. Dimitri doesn't feel any of it. He doesn't even love me anymore." I explained, frowning.

"You are soulmates, and from how brightly his is around you, he does still love you. He lights up like the sun. You both do." Sonya explained, a kind expression on her face. I just stared at her in disbelief.

"No, you're wrong. After he was restored, he was changed. He doesn't feel anything for me. The bond doesn't even exist for him."

"His aura says otherwise."

I shook my head, pushing away from the wall. Sonya didn't understand. I could feel Dimitri; not once had his emotion been romantic to me. Maybe friendly, but nothing more. Dimitri had told me many times that he didn't love me. That he can't.

"Dimitri spoke to me about how crushing the guilt was for him, how it clouded so much. It was the same for me as well." A look of sorrow crossed her face, "Everything I did as Strigoi, what he did, it will always haunt us."

I stepped closer, "How come you aren't… Well, you aren't as depressed as he was. You almost seem back to your normal self. What's the difference between you two?"

"I still feel the guilt, there is so much of it. But he told me that feeling it proved we weren't one of them anymore. And that we have been given a second chance and to not waste it. Dimitri said he already regretted what he had lost and wasn't going to lose anything else."

My mind was spinning, jumping from thought to thought. I had noticed the weight lifting from him, how he was smiling more. Maybe he really had gained parts of himself back.

But that didn't change the fact he didn't love me, even if Sonya thought so.

Her eyes were on me again, "Your auras match but are different, his has darkness and is jagged, but that will heal over time. But yours… the darkness in yours isn't fading."

I shivered, "The darkness from Lissa."

"Yes," Sonya's expression became grim. "You have taken too much that it's building and building. I'm afraid of what'll happen. It will just take one spark, and... it will explode."

"What happens then?" I whisper, dreading the answer.

"I don't know."


Sonya had fallen asleep; I wasn't sure if it was because she was tired or sensed Jill was sleeping now. Emily was sitting with her, so I decided to leave. The looks she kept giving me was just making my guilt for losing Jill grow more.

I was exhausted, both mentally and physically. But I didn't feel like I could sleep even if I wanted to. Every time my mind would settle, Sonya's words would come to me.

I don't know what was more concerning, that she thought Dimitri still loved me.

Or that the darkness in me would explode.

I knew taking the darkness from Lissa was affecting me, my emotions becoming more intense, but I never thought of what would happen when I took too much. The last time it took over, I wanted to kill Jesse. Dimitri had managed to bring me back to myself.

My hand came up to my chest, rubbing at the pain there. I had become so used to it that I'd almost forgotten how it felt before. All I could remember was the pain or the joy when Dimitri made it go away.

As I walked downstairs to find him, I told myself I was seeking out his comfort so that I was at full strength when facing Victor, and not because of how desperately I wanted to feel that completeness he gave me.

Sydney was sitting in the now cleaned up living room, an open book in her lap. Distantly, I could hear John moving about in the kitchen; he and Emily avoided us. The only reason they weren't kicking us out was because they knew we were the only ones that could bring Jill back.

The squeaking of the staircase made Sydney look up, "Anything yet?"

I shook my head, "No, but hopefully not much longer."

I opened myself to the bond, searching for Dimitri. My feet guided me out through the front door and to the driveway. There he was, standing beside an SUV that had just pulled up. Mikhail climbing out.

"Where is she?" He demanded, his voice thick with emotion. "Is she okay?"

I pointed back at the house, "She's safe. You can't feel her?" I couldn't help but ask.

He shook his head, "It's all muddled right now. I'm only picking up bits and pieces, but it's getting stronger."

Mine had been similar after Dimitri was restored; I assumed that was because it was new. But maybe it was a side effect of the spirit, just like how my bond to Lissa was overloaded by it. "She still doesn't know you are here."

"Has she said anything about me? Or our bond? Or is she…"

He trailed off, but I understood, us both glancing at Dimitri, who flushed with shame. I looked away. "She hasn't mentioned it to me."

"She asked about you," Dimitri responded, "She misses you."

My heart ached.

The thundering of footsteps coming from the house made us turn to the front door.

"Rose! Rose, I know where she is!" Sonya was yelling. She spied me from the entryway, running out of the house with Emily and Sydney close on her heels. I heard a sharp intake of breath, Mikhail going still. Sonya hadn't seemed to realise yet. "Jill gave me enough information that I believe I can find their hotel. And…" Her words stopped, mouth agape and eyes widening.

Mikhail stepped towards her.

He was taking small steps, not wanting to frighten her. "Sonya," His voice was filled with awe.

She stood for a second. I held my breath, waiting to see what would happen, gripping at the fabric above my heart, the pain of my rejection still there. Then with a wail, Sonya threw herself in Mikhail's open arms, pulling her tightly against him. Mikhail held her close, whispering in her ear as she sobbed between apologies.

It was difficult to witness because of how much of a personal moment this was between soulmates. And because of how much I wished that this was what I had with Dimitri. This was what I imagined as I waited in the reception, what I dreamed of happening every moment that I sat there waiting for Dimitri to want me.

I turned away from the sight, "We should get ready to leave." I forced out, marching back into the house and away from my own heartache.

Had to bring back the letter :3

The next chapter is going to be a LONG one :D