Author's Note: I'll be very honest and say that I'm kind of discouraged by the lack of reviews (shoutout to user fraufrau) and I'm seriously demotivated from continuing this any further but I really like this story so I'll keep updating for those who want to read it!

2nd Authors Note: There's a bit more context in this one and TakaoxOC interaction! Yay! This story will still continue to have MidorimaxOC's emails but lesser once they finally meet. Hope those who are still reading will enjoy :D Also forewarned tiny Sherlock spoiler down below.


How To Text A Tsundere
by Newt Is My Shank


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: come on


SHIN-TAAAAAAN,

Come on I said I was sorry! It's been two days and you haven't even visited me once! And I had a concussion ffs you really think my first priority would be to charge my phone? Okay shit sorry Shin-tan I apologize for being unable to use telepathy to tell you that I had a head injury, but it's not even that serious! Just a couple of stitches. And a wrist fracture. And I may have bruised my shoulder a tiny, tiny bit but it's all chill! I'm only in hospital because my mom doesn't want me wandering off in the middle of the night unsupervised. It's not like I have traumatic brain injury or some shit I know what you're thinking about Kazunari told me yesterday.

By the way your best friend has been visiting me everyday after practice! What a little sweetheart, huh? He even brings me mochi! I think my mom is in love with him. She's been overfeeding him with cookies and thanking him for taking the trouble to visit "my asshole of a daughter" and asks where is "his handsome scholar friend".

Heheh I bet you're blushing having an older woman call you handsome huh? Come visit me soon Shin-taaaaaan!

Brb the nurse is coming in to give me shots yeet pray for me.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: Re: come on


SHIN-TAN!

Does that name bother you? Kazunari calls you "Shin-chan" all the time. He's been delivering me our homework every day. I do them immediately because it's boring as balls around here. I let Kazunari copy sometimes because he pouts like a puppy and who can't deny that? He pulled that on my mom once and I swear she looked like she wanted to adopt him.

And when I mean adopt I don't mean as like a son.

I mean like a puppy.

A human puppy.

I shall stop right there. That is one hentai plot that doesn't need going into.

By the way today's daifuku was really good! Kazunari says you recommended it because of its name! "Great luck" huh? Could've used it when I was trying to scale that building lol. Okay sorry Kazunari says I shouldn't mention it to you because you get really annoyed when I do. Aww did me hurting myself affect you that badly? Sorry Shin-tan~ I didn't know you cared for me this much.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: Re: Re: come on


SHIN-TAN!

Okay I should explain why all the dumb ass nicknames. I read that "giving someone a friendly nickname" would signify a "step towards friendship". Please don't ask me why I'm learning how to socialize from a book. Please fucking don't.

So yeah I don't know it just feels kind of cold to call you Midorima all the time. Kazunari says that you're too cute to be called Midorima and that calling you "Shin-chan" fits you better. I called Kazunari by his last name the first time we met too but he said that "Izumi-chan is cute so I'll let you call me Kazu~". Does he have that HPD thing that you mentioned? The one where if you have it you get all flirty and attention seeking and shit? Not that I hate it, but just a theory. That cute little fucker thinks it's cool to get me all flustered all the time so I need to devise a way to payback. No one puts the great Izumi-sama in a corner! HO HO HO.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: Re: Re: Re: come on


By the way Shin-tan,

Thanks for getting me a green cat plushie~, and I know you hate cats too! So thanks a lot. He's really cute, I think I'm going to call him Shin-tan. He even has glasses! How did you know about my glasses fetish? Gotta love a man who can work them glasses. I'm short sighted so I'm supposed to wear glasses.I tried wearing my mom's but they look really stupid on me so I went on and bought contacts instead.

Kazunari is reading my email over my shoulder and cackling. I honestly don't see what's so funny. Maybe he's tired. I should send him away, call the nurse and get him checked. Poor Kazunari, he's probably tired from basketball practice. I should hit him and wake him up.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: come on


Ayase,

...You may call me Shintarou.

- Shintarou


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: come on


P.S. I hope you hit him.

- Shintarou


To: Takao Kazunari kazu-kazu-chan
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject:


Die, Takao.

- Midorima


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Takao Kazunari

Subject:


? ? ? ? ? ? ?

- Kazu °˖* ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: hehehe


Shintarou~! Shintarou~! Shintarou~!

Heheh your name is really pretty, Shintarou~. I feel honored. You know you can call me Izumi too right? Ah but maybe you're one of those people who aren't too cool with being super personal with each other so it's fine~. Takao is coming to visit later today! At least I won't get bored. Honestly it's the fracture that's being annoying now. My head's fine. Stitches are a little itchy.

(And no I didn't hit him. Unfortunately for you. Sorry Shintarou.)

By the way I just got a weird thought after reading some text post on Tumblr. You've probably heard of it before, but it's some philosophy/historical quote that kind of got me hooked, and now I'm looking through philosophy stuff because THIS IS A HOSPITAL AND THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO. Also I like philosophy. Philosophy's cool. Rock on Aristotle.

Okay so this story was about this German general who says that he divides his men into 4 groups. Smart, hardworking, stupid and lazy. Usually two characteristics are combined. Those who are clever and hardworking should work as General Staff. The stupid and lazy are suited for manual labour. And anyone who is both smart and lazy are most qualified for the highest leadership duties, because they know the best way to get things done efficiently.

Oh and that people who are stupid and hardworking should just perish because they are menaces to society.

That kind of got me thinking if you have any philosophers you admire? I'm pinning you for a Hume kind of guy. He was considered to be gregarious and generous aka an all around nice guy. He believed that the worth of a man is the same as the worth of an oyster. I guess to dumb it down he was a "everyone should be considered equal" kind of guy. I'm probably rambling again but I'm trying to find out whether a person's personality is affected by the philosophy they follow. Or maybe you're those really logical ones. Pythagoras?

By the way guess who said this quote: The first method for estimating the intelligence of a ruler is to look at the men he has around him.

Talk to me soon Shintarou~ I miss our disconnected, off-timed emails. Yikes I sound desperate. SORRRYYYYY.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: What on earth are you up to?


Ayase,

I truly hope you do not end up repeating my name over and over again once we meet. It is embarrassing and Takao will never let me hear the end of it. But yes, you may refer me to Shintarou. Understand that this is a privilege you should not abuse.

I am….pleased that the doctors are taking care of you properly. A head injury could prove fatal if treated incorrectly. Also if your stitches itch you should tell the nurse to apply some cream on it. Don't scratch it. For your fracture try not to add too much pressure onto it when you're sleeping or when you are doing something that requires both your hands. Take it slow and do not be foolish and try to do anything that might further damage your fracture just to "see if it's getting better" since I assume you might be considering it, judging by your impulsiveness. You're very likely to get a cast and it would be best for your sake that you do not endanger your wrist any further if you do not intend to get surgery. Please take note of this this so I do not have to repeat myself again.

And to answer your question: yes, I have heard of the quote but not on this "Tumblr" you are using. My former captain used to binge-read philosophy and historical books while he was having insomnia during middle school. He would often send me the occasional morality quiz and random quote at the dead of the night expecting me to reply, which I did - for the sake of my sanity and his emotional state. Being the vice-captain could be quite taxing at times. I think you might like him, Ayase. While you are not as completely unhinged as he is I think the both of you could bond over your obsession for philosophy. And extremity. Definitely extremity.

I agree with the statement that the unintelligent and hardworking should be perished. They are troublemakers and overall nuisances to society. Nothing good could possibly come out of people who own those two attributes.

While I clearly do not have enough time as you do to know everything about the philosopher world, I do dabble in it occasionally and have come to respect the philosophers Plato and Socrates. As some of the older philosophers they set and inspired the tone for philosophy and their beliefs were highly focused on truth and the thirst for true wisdom, which I would like to say is something that I would like to pursue as well. So unfortunately for you Ayase, I would have to say your assumptions on who I "followed" were incorrect - and disappointingly - your judge on my character. Though I would like to research on the other two that you have mentioned into more detail so I do not sound like a fool when I get into debates which you will likely drag me into to satisfy your need for argument.

As for the quote, it is clearly from Machiavelli. Any uneducated fool would know this is one of his famous quotes. Though I do not particularly agree with his beliefs I must admit that he is a brilliant author. My former captain speaks very highly of him during his midnight rants. Unsurprising, considering his mindset is heavily inspired from some of Machiavelli's philosophies…

Ah, I see where you're getting at Ayase. You might be onto something about your theory that we might indirectly reflect our personalities on the philosophies that we follow. Interesting.

Will be busy for the next hour or so. Do not bother messaging me. Please do not overexert yourself on useless things. Rest should be your number one priority in this moment of time. I am glad to know that you are taking proper care of your lucky items.

- Shintarou


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: What on earth are you up to?


P.S. Your naming sense is...strange. I am distraught to whether I should be honored or insulted that you have decided to name your lucky item after me. Also tell Takao to go die when you see him.

- Shintarou


Izumi sighed loudly as she tossed her phone to the side, feeling a little pouty that she wasn't allowed to bother Midorima for the next hour or so. So far today she had already studied through three historical texts, studied for the Literature test, completed every single piece of homework Takao gave her and finished Machiavelli's The Prince for the fourth time this morning.

"Holy fuck balls I'm so bored," she declared loudly to no-one in particular. A muffled snorting came from outside her room and and watched with pleasant surprise when a laughing Takao swaggered in with a Lawson bag and a….mini cactus? "I'm here, Izu-chan~!" Takao plopped himself down by her bedside, big Cheshire grin on his face. Izumi squeaked when Takao gently moved her inside so he could sit next to her, still not used to being manhandled by the mischievous basketball player. Or anyone else for that matter. "You're early today," Izumi mentioned with surprise, face flushing a light hue of pink when the dark-haired player's arm wrapped around her waist - only to take retrieve the Lawson bag he had left next to her.

"We got the day off practice to rest," Takao singsonged as he took out an apple and started cutting it, "InterHigh prelims are starting so Coach wants us in tip-top condition. Don't know why though. Aside from Seiho I doubt no-one else can actually beat us. So there's nothing for me to do today~." Izumi simply "aah"ed while watching Takao carve out cute little rabbit apples. If she tried that she'd probably slice off her entire finger. "I see, I'm sorry that you had to visit me to relieve your boredom then," the blue-haired girl said with no heat or malice behind it whatsoever.

This prompted Takao to stop cutting and stare at her exasperatedly, leaning his body slightly onto her more petite form, careful to avoid her injured wrist and the bandages on her shoulder. The first time he had come to visit he nearly had a heart attack when he saw the amount of bandages on the girl's body and yelled, "Izumi-chan if this is your definition of 'not bad' I really don't wanna know your definition when it's really bad! You're lucky Shin-chan doesn't know about this."

"Maa~ that's not true Izu-chan! I'm happy to spend time with you!" Takao pouted adorably, "I'm just not used to having so much free time after classes~ also Shin-chan told me to die last night so my chest hurts. See?" Takao faux-whined and grabbed Izumi's unhurt hand and placed it against his chest. Izumi's ears turned red at the "intimacy" of the gesture and how casually Takao had held her hand against his chest. His very nice, toned chest. Christ were all basketball players this fucking hot -

"I swear you're doing this to me on purpose," Izumi blurted out in embarrassment. Takao tilted his head cutely at her and grinned innocently, "Doing what, Izu-chan~?" The Hawk Eye player mentally chuckled at the girl's socially constipated expression as she gesticulated wildly at his impressive upper torso. He puffed his chest out proudly, he didn't suffer all those punishment push-ups for nothing! Miyaji seriously couldn't take a joke sometimes...

"That. That, flirty thing that you do! W-When you touch me and s-stuff," Izumi stuttered. "Me? Touching you? But that's what friends do, Izu-chan~" Takao grinned widely at her, watching her face process those words and he could feel her inner "dere-dere" come out and a little thought bubble on top of her that screamed, "W-WE'RE FRIENDS?" with little blushes around it.

"Izumi-chan I visit you everyday since you got admitted, I'll be really sad if you didn't consider me as a friend by now," Takao whined playfully.

"D-Don't be r-ridiculous o-of course I think of you as a -" Izumi stopped and narrowed her eyes at the cheeky-looking teen. This asshole

Takao's smirk widened. Oh, she was just too easy to rile up.

"Stop teasing me, I want to die," Izumi scowled darkly. As darkly as she could, of course. She looked less like someone Takao should be terrified of and more like a very aggressive pomeranian. All bark and no bite and fluffy, fluffy, fluffy. Ah, the perks of having a tiny friend...

"Hai hai Izu-chan I'll stop~," Takao relented placatingly and moved away to give her space, unintentionally drawing her sight to the little cactus he left near her bedside table.

Izumi's eyebrows furrowed. "Is that supposed to be get well soon flowers or something?"

"Nah, pretty sure that's just your lucky item today," Takao said offhandedly, and then smirked when Izumi stared off despairingly at the space in the corner of her bed where Midorima's "gifts" had started piling up over the days. She didn't want to throw them away because honestly, it was still pretty sweet that Midorima still brought her stuff even when he aggressively accentuated the fact that he was "not pleased with her" for "withholding information from him."

("Trust me, that's just Shin-chan being Shin-chan," Takao deadpanned, "he acts like he doesn't care but one time during practice I called him a dumbass and he tried to act all aloof and said that he didn't care and the whole time during practice he ignored all my passes until Miyaji-senpai shouted at him and I said sorry. Trust me. Shin-chan cares and sometimes he cares a little too much.")

Izumi smiled a little dopily at the gift sitting on her bedside table, mind already thinking up names for the little cactus. A beat later she felt a flash of serendipity hit her and proclaimed.

"...I'm going to call that one Midorima."

Takao choked and immediately exploded into an uncontrollable fit of giggles when he looked at the cactus, then at Izumi's pleased expression, and then back to the cactus.

"P-Pfft Izumi-chan what is up with you and naming everything cute after Shin-chan? First you call the cat Shin-tan and now you're calling the cactus Midorima?" Takao cackled and ruffled the girl's hair gently with his wrist. "What, you got a crush on him, Izu-chan?" he asked, curious and half-questioning. He had always wondered how Izumi always referred to his tsundere teammate so personally - without even directly meeting him - when it literally took him a week, face-to-face, before Midorima allowed Takao to address him as a friend. He was a little jealous no lie but Shin-chan was Shin-chan after all. And Izumi…

(Well. She was a riot. That's what she was. If Midorima was a tsundere on steroids then Izumi was a tsundere divided by two to the power of epic recklessness with a dash of ADHD and lactose intolerance. Takao really needed to stop picking up stray tsunderes in his high school life Christ…)

Surprisingly Izumi didn't blush but stared at him dead in the eye with an expression of bland confusion on her face. "That's silly Kazunari. We've never even met face-to-face, why would I have a crush on him? And I have a reasoning for naming them after Shintarou."

Eh, Shintarou? Since when did Shin-chan allow someone to call him by his first name?

Izumi pointed at the fat, bespectacled green cat in the corner of her bed, "That's Shin-tan. Shin-tan is cute and curious like a cat. Shin-tan represents Shintarou's 'dere-dere' side and for how needy he is sometimes. 'Shin-tan' is Shintarou's soft side." She then gestured at the potted plant next to her with a smirk, "This is Midorima. Midorima is prickly on the outside but he's actually not that bad on the inside. It's his 'tsun-tsun' side. 'Midorima' represents Shintarou trying to act cool and tough but inside he's just mush."

Takao listened to the smaller girl's explanation with fascination because damn that sounded just like Midorima. Even if Takao had whole semester advantage over her she had accurately if not scarily enough managed to deduce Midorima's character archetype just by messaging him. She could give his Hawk Eye a run for its money in terms of observation...

"Wow Izu-chan you sound like some FBI agent or something. Like those people who deduce who's the killer by really simple stuff that none of us think of," Takao said in awe, "You're like the next Sherlock Holmes! Izu-lock Holmes. I could be your Watson! Kazunari Watson."

Izumi giggled at her brunette friend's theatrics, not even realizing he had popped an apple slice in her mouth while she was distracted. "Is Shintarou Molly then? Or Mycroft?" she played along. Takao "hmm'ed" while he adjusted her to sit on his lap, taking advantage of her inquisitive stare on him to do so. He carefully perched his chin on top of her hair while deliberating on Shintarou's potential role as a Sherlock character.

"I think...Shin-chan is Jamie Moriarty. Moriarty Shintarou." Also known as Irene Adler, Sherlock's dead lover, Takao hummed innocently.

Izumi whipped her head at him and gave him a look of amused incredulity, "I honestly can't see Shintarou as a criminal mastermind. I doubt he's that pretty in real life too." Damn, completely missed the point. That was Izumi for you.

Takao threw a grin at her, "Eh~ do you wanna see him to confirm it then? I got a picture of him right here -"

"W-Wait, don't show me," Izumi stuttered frantically, grabbing onto Takao's wrist so he couldn't retrieve his phone from his pocket. Takao raised a questioning eyebrow at her. She was always nagging at Midorima to come visit her but suddenly she didn't want to see him?

A pink blush dusted her pale cheeks as she tugged weakly at the edge of his sleeve, "I-I want to see him in person. D-Don't show me photos of him yet!" The small girl looked up at the brunette pleadingly, her serious brown eyes gone wide with hopefulness, "Please?"

Takao couldn't help blushing himself at his pastel-haired friend's innocent reaction. She always rotated between serious and hysterical. There was no in between. From all the days he'd spent with her he'd never seen her show an expression so pure and earnest around him.

"I-Izu-chan, didn't you always say you wanted to see him?" Takao couldn't help asking.

Izumi nodded frantically, blush darkening. "I-I do. I think he's strange and he's really fascinating as a person. B-But," she smiled shyly, "That's why I want our first meeting to be really special. It's been less than a week but I feel strangely connected to him." Izumi's expression quickly changed from shyness to confusion, "I think it's really fucking weird to be honest. Is it even possible to be attached to someone you've never met in real life in a short span of time? It's not even like love at first sight or anything, it's more like…"

Kindreds. They're like kindreds, Takao thought warily, feeling sick. Even as he considered this he couldn't help but force down the twisted churning in his gut while watching her speak so adoringly of Midorima. Like come on! Midorima didn't even visit her once while she was hospitalized! The coward, going off on how it "wasn't the right time" and "Oha-Asa says it's not fated yet" and like -

Oh.

OH.

Holy freaking shit.

Takao didn't know whether to laugh or cry. What were the odds that those two could be so weirdly alike - ? It was like something straight out of an Oha-Asa inspired soap opera -

" - But I'm really thankful for our first meeting, Kazunari," Izumi said softly, voice full of happiness and prompting Takao to snap out of his thoughts and look down on her with no small amount of surprise. Wow, was she fucking glowing? Takao felt his heart race. Shit, this was not supposed to happen - he was supposed to be the one teasing and egging her on, not her!

(Well, looks like the tables have turned. Ho Ho Ho.)

"I've never had someone approach me before and befriend me so easily, it's a nice change from the apathy and the stares," Izumi explained casually, the brunette a little jarred by the lack of sadness and bitterness in her tone, "I'm really indebted to you, Kazu-kun. T-Thank you."

Takao felt a flash of warmth erupt through his chest at Izumi's heartfelt words. Her eyes were sparkling when she stared up at him, fingers now relaxed around his wrist and brushing against it shyly - almost like a gentle caress. Damn, was she always this cute when she smiled? Holy shit he should take a picture. Shit shit shit her face was so close to his and her lips were pink and pretty - refrain, refrain, Takao Kazunari! Change the subject, change the goddamn subject - !

"N-No problem, Izu-chan. Anyways remember when I talked to you for the first time? That was freaking hilarious -" Takao felt a hand clamp over his mouth and Izumi's suddenly adorably frenzied stare as he was about to retell their first meeting. "That was ages ago and I swear to god it should be illegal to have eyes like yours, Kazunari!" Izumi whispered-shouted despite being the only two people in the room, "Honestly it's been five fucking days and I feel like I've been through a meat grinder. What the fuck."

"At least you have the handsome Takao Kazunari-sama to accompany you right?" Takao said flirtily, removing her hand from his face and shakily continuing to cut little bunny apples. From the corner of his eye Takao could see Izumi getting distracted watching Takao carve the rest of the apple, eyes sparkling with fascination.

Whew, at least we got that lovey-dovey mood out of the way, Takao mentally patted himself on the back despite the fact that his ears were still red from Izumi's words. Shin-chan will get moody with me when he hears this~.

"Here, say ahh~!" Takao picked up an apple slice with his fingers, ready to feed the tiny girl. Izumi immediately put her palms out, her eyes sparkling intensively and ready to receive her apple. Takao raised an eyebrow, "Come here if you want it Izu-chan~."

The blue-haired girl pouted and tilted her head backwards, eyelashes fluttering shut and lips parted slightly. The black-haired teen gulped and - unknowingly - flushed. This is kind of wrong...Takao sweatdropped as he popped the apple slice into Izumi's mouth.

Speaking of wrong...


...Aaand cliffhanger.

Next chapter will be a flashback! How Takao and Izumi met! Also I hope there will be more reviews in this one. I understand if none of you guys have anything to say but a little encouragement goes a long way! Thanks to those who follow and favorite this story!