I am trying to get some more chapters out for my other stories, but man it is hard trying to jump into the right mind frame for them after writing for this one so much. I'm pretty excited to see what you think of the next couple of chapters :D
Part 13
Standing out on the steps of the palace, I finally felt like I could breathe again.
Bringing up Sonya Karp to the Queen, I felt like my heart was going to burst from how fast it was beating. A lot was riding on Tatiana accepting that Sonya was indeed Moroi again and not locking her up as they did with Dimitri.
After a lot of questions and warning looks shot my way, Tatiana said that she would bring it up with the Council at the same time as she does Dimitri. Until then, Sonya was to keep a low profile, Mikhail stepping up to keep an eye on her. The fact that they were soulmates went a long way to it being agreed to.
Mikhail was currently meeting with Hans to work out the details. I could have stayed and offered to help, but I could feel Lissa was on the edge of a breakdown, and I needed to help her.
Some good news we got from our meeting with Tatiana was that Dimitri was no longer under guard when at Court; he can roam freely but is to stay out of trouble. I wasn't sure where they would room him, but that wasn't for me to worry about.
I had too much to focus on before I could stop to consider Dimitri's request.
After I calm down Lissa, I have to meet with Hans to find out what will happen to me. While I was able to impress Tatiana enough to not be thrown in a cell, where I stood in the guardian world was entirely up to Hans.
And then, once all of that is sorted, I can go back to my room and sleep while trying not to let myself be dragged down by what I did yesterday.
As long as I was busy, I could ignore it. But as soon as my mind has a moment of peace, Victor's lifeless eyes would return. Saying I will forgive myself and actually doing it were two different things.
As I walked down steps, I paused, hearing my name being called. Spinning around to find Abe and Dimitri making their way towards me.
"Not bad, Rose. Keep this up, and I won't have to negotiate you out of being arrested for a while," He gave me a wry smile, adjusting his suit jacket. Somehow in this heat, Abe was still sporting his three-piece suit. But then there was also Dimitri still wearing his duster. Maybe it was a thing they picked up in Russia.
I resisted rolling my eyes, "Next time, I'll try for no witnesses."
Abe grinned, "That's the spirit!"
"Well, thanks for everything, old man. I have to go find Lissa." I turned to leave.
"Rose," He called me again. I glanced over my shoulder at him. "Perhaps we can meet for lunch today in my room. We have some things to discuss."
I wanted to turn him down, but he had just done a lot for me. So reluctantly, I agreed.
"Wonderful, I shall see you at twelve." Abe dipped his head and then departed.
With the conversation finished, I went to leave again. Only for Dimitri to stop me. "Can we talk, Rose?"
I sighed, spinning around to face him properly. Our height difference already made it so I had to look up at him, but now he was still a few steps above me, making me have to crane my neck back to meet his eyes. I noticed he was scanning the area around us, standing in Court without a trail of guardians following him was an improvement but still an adjustment for him. Luckily it was early in the Moroi day, and there weren't a lot of people around.
His eyes flicked back to me. I could sense he was unsure of himself, an emotion I wasn't used to seeing on him but had been seeing a lot of recently. He was trying to be friendly, looking at me hopeful.
I sighed, "Look, I still need to think about everything. Just...too much has happened for me to just say yes to you. Maybe if you had had this revelation a week ago, things would have been easier." I wasn't being kind, knowing what it took him to reach this point. But I was still hurting and didn't feel like playing nice.
His eyes pinched in regret, dropping them from mine. He shifted on his feet, clasping his hands behind him before looking back at me with an impassive face. "I was wanting to speak to you about Lissa and Jill and what to do going forward."
Well, fuck. "Shit. I didn't…." I rubbed my forehead, "I don't know, but I need to go talk to Liss, try to calm her down first. Then I'll figure something out." I gave him an apologetic look, "Sorry."
Understanding came from the bond, along with a hint of affection, "It's okay, Roza. I told you I would wait, and I will. Whatever you decide going forward, I will respect."
Dimitri really makes it harder to hate him when he does stuff like this. I could feel his sincerity. Even if I did decide that I was completely done with him and never wanted to see him again, he'd do it.
...Though I wouldn't mind if he fought for me a little more...
I didn't say anything in reply, instead turning away and leaving him there; this time, nothing stopped me.
Eddie greeted me at the door, a grateful smile on his face when he saw me. Maybe it was because I almost went insane yesterday or just that I missed him, but I threw my arms around him and hugged him. After the surprise wore off, Eddie returned the embrace.
"Everything okay?" He asked.
No. But I didn't want to get into it. "Just missed you," I commented, pulling away from him. He eyed me for a moment before nodding.
"You look like you're ready to pass out."
I felt like it too. "Can't relax just yet." Eddie dipped his head in understanding. Just past him in the lounge room sat Jill and her parents, looking very awkward, and across from them was Lissa and Christian.
Adrian sat in the middle of the room making conversation with Jill, Christian joining occasionally. Lissa was being polite, but I could see the stress of everything getting to her. Her eyes shot to mine when I entered, a forced smile on her face.
"Oh, Rose. Did everything go alright?" Lissa had some mixed feelings about me right now, but she was still concerned.
I gave her an easy smile, "Yeah, I was on my best behaviour and didn't say a single insult," That was a lie, but only Dimitri heard me mutter it, sending me a disapproving look. I glanced at the three Mastranos, "Settling in alright?"
Emily replied, "Yes, Princess Vasilisa is being very kind."
"Please, call me Lissa," Lissa may be uncomfortable, but she didn't hold any ill will towards them. She just had a lot of questions.
I gave Lissa a pointed look, "Do you mind if I borrow you for a little?" I gave a small explanation to the room, "I need her opinion on some things," I lied easily, not wanting to be obvious we were going to be discussing Jill.
Adrian scoffed, muttering, "About what it's like not being rejected?"
I maintained my smile, not showing that I heard him, though, from the looks on everyone's face, they heard him. Jill was avoiding my eyes; I wondered if Sonya told her about Dimitri and me.
Lissa quickly stood and looped her arm through mine, "Of course, Rose. I'll be right back."
Together we walked upstairs to her room, closing the door so that the sound didn't travel. She sat down on the edge of her mattress, and I took the space next to her.
Her hand covered mine, "Are you okay, Rose?"
I nodded, "Yeah, he's just being an ass."
"He shouldn't have said it."
"It's fine," I had hurt Adrian, he was allowed to be a dick for a while, plus I didn't want to start anything. Just thinking of that conversation with him made me feel weary. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jill sooner."
I felt her anger, which slowly turned into understanding, "I know. It's just… a lot. I never thought that my dad would do that. I mean, they were soulmates. Why would he do that?"
"Accidents happen." It was a cop-out of an answer, but there wasn't much else I could say. And I doubted there was anything I could have said that would make things better for Lissa. "In the end, Liss, he's still your dad, and he loved you. This doesn't have to ruin that."
She gave me a small smile, a real one this time, though it was tinged with sadness. "It's weird thinking that I have a half-sister."
I laughed, "Yeah, and to think it was Jill this whole time. I'm surprised we didn't see it sooner."
Lissa reluctantly agreed. She could see the similarities now that the truth was revealed, as much as she wanted to doubt it. "So, what's next?"
I turned, bringing my legs up to sit crossed legged, facing her, "Now, you are going to join the Council and be a badass and do a lot of good for dhampirs and Moroi. I know how much you want to help people, and now you can."
She shifted to mirror my position, clasping our hands between us, "And what do I do about Jill?" She looked so lost.
"Well, that's up to you. You can just have a relationship that is just political, for show," I squeezed her hands, dipping my head down to catch her eyes, "Or, you can get to know your sister and have a family again."
I know how much she missed hers, Jill wouldn't be the same or be able to replace what she had, but she could still have one again.
I felt her hesitation, but she was considering my words. "You have to tell me everything," Lissa demanded, changing the subject, "Especially the part where you arrive back at Court with Miss Karp!"
I laid back on her bed, remembering the burst of shock from Lissa when she had left the Queen's study. "It's a long story."
She crawled up to bed to lay down next to me, "Lucky for you, I have time."
"Wow."
"Yep," I popped the p.
"That's a lot."
"Yep."
We had shuffled around again on the bed, Lissa now against the headboard clutching one of her pillows to her, while I was laid across the foot of the bed, my head hanging off the edge. My hair was so long now it was draped on the carpet; it was probably time for a cut.
I had recounted the whole tale to Lissa, everything about Dimitri and the bond, to what happened with the darkness and Victor. I didn't go into too much detail with Victor, and Lissa hadn't pushed. She was of the same mixed feelings of hating Victor but torn about me killing him.
But Lissa understood the darkness of spirit and what it could do, agreeing with Sonya and Dimitri that it wasn't my fault.
"Maybe I can talk to Sonya and try to find something to rid you of the darkness," She mused, chewing on her thumbnail, deep in thought.
I shrugged. I don't think I could ever get rid of it completely, at least not with the bond between us. "I think I just need to find a way to work it out of me before it becomes too much again. That and healing charms." I was still wearing the one Sonya gave me, fingering the cool metal.
Where's the heart? You asked that. Mine's broken, it doesn't work.
I honestly did feel broken. And yet, Dimitri still loves me, apparently.
"What will you do about Dimitri?"
I narrowed my eyes at Lissa, wondering if she had learnt how to read minds now. Groaning, I let my head fall back down. "I don't know." Picking up the pillow beside me and pressing it over my face.
"He loves you. It's what you wanted."
"I know!" I yelled, my voice muffled by the pillow.
"But he also hurt you."
"I know."
"Didn't know you liked me that much, Rose," Christian commented. I lifted the pillow enough to see him leaning against the doorway. "That's my pillow."
I looked at the pillow in disgust, throwing it away from me to the other side of the room. "Great, now I have to burn my face."
"I can do that." He happily offered.
Lissa sighed, "Will you two stop."
We both replied to her, "No."
Rolling her eyes, Lissa climbed off the bed, crossing to take Christian's hand. Even if I didn't have the bond to feel how much they loved each other, it was very obvious just looking at them.
I wondered if I could have that with Dimitri again.
"What are you even doing here, Sparky? Can't you see we were having a moment?"
He rolled his eyes, "Yeah, you've been having a moment for over an hour. I came up to see if you wanted to eat."
Christian and I may be known for not getting along, sure didn't start off on the right foot with each other, but we have grown closer over the past few months. I wasn't surprised by his concern for me, though he often concealed it with insults.
I glanced over at the clock by their bed. It was still early in the Moroi day, only a little after nine p.m., but considering I had been up since six a.m. I was ready to sleep, not start the day.
"No can do. I still need to drop by Headquarters and then lunch with Abe. And then I'm going to sleep." Just had a couple of hours to get through, maybe even hit the gym to work off some energy so that I could go to sleep without my mind wandering all night.
Lissa pouted, "Are you sure you can't stay a little longer?" She was nervous about having a meal with Jill and her parents. Though she felt more accepting toward Jill after our conversation, Lissa still wasn't ready to do it alone. Sure she had Christian, but it wasn't the same.
In Lissa's mind, she and I were sisters; we are family, and Jill was about to become a part of it.
So I gave in. "Fine, I can stay for a little, but it better be good food." Lissa beamed at me, looping her arm through mine again. Christian rolled his eyes, accepting Lissa's need for me.
Commenting as he followed us down the stairs, "Anything I make will be better than the crap you eat."
I shot him a look, "Maybe if you did half of the exercising I did, you could get away with eating crap too." I eyed him, "Actually, maybe you should start hitting the gym, starting to look a little round there, Sparky."
"I changed my mind. Get out."
I all but cackled, walking away from him. The lounge room had gained some more visitors. Mikhail and Sonya conversing with Emily and Jill. And Adrian was having a stare-off with Dimitri. Great.
"Oh, Rose! Will you be joining us? Going to be a full table," Tasha commented, walking in from the kitchen.
I clenched my jaw, trying to hide my grimace. Lissa squeezed my arm in pleading and trying to offer comfort. "Yep, just for a little, though. I still have to talk to Hans." I replied as politely as possible. At least I had a reason to escape if needed.
"Good luck with that," Mikhail started, coming to join us, "He was in a bad mood."
"Of course he is," I muttered. Because things just wouldn't be right if things were easy for me.
"I'm sure it will be fine, Rose. Maybe you will even get your allocation soon!" Lissa, the optimist, trying to see the brighter side. From the look I gave her, she knew that I did not see that happening anytime soon.
While I had made a good impression on Hans when I led the team to save Lissa and Christian from Dimitri, I had also made a bad one by sneaking Lissa away from Court for a 'party weekend'. Not to mention he was aware of my part in running away with Lissa from the academy when we were fifteen. To Hans, I was a flight risk just as much as I was a good guardian.
"I'm sure it will be fine," Dimitri's voice broke through my thoughts, ending his standoff with Adrian to look at me. His expression was soft, caring.
Feeling his confidence in me through my soulmate bond, and then Lissa's giddy feelings for how he was looking at me was overwhelming. Being physically close to the two of them made the bonds more intense. I wasn't sure I could even feel my own feelings and thoughts with them both flowing into me.
Taking a breath to build up my walls, I blocked both bonds. The strain of it gave me a slight headache, but it was better than feeling everything.
Can't say I was too surprised to end up sitting at the kitchen counter next to Eddie while the others squeezed in around the table. Tasha assigned the seats, which was why she had patted the seat beside her for Dimitri to take.
I respected Tasha but seeing her practically throwing herself at Dimitri while knowing that he was my soulmate made me seethe with anger and imagine a few things that I wanted to say to her so she learned to back off.
But I hadn't decided yet if I still wanted Dimitri as my soulmate, so there was nothing I could say.
Taking my plate, I took a seat on the barstool, facing the kitchen window rather than the table. There wasn't even any reason for me to stay to help Lissa, seeing I couldn't join the conversation from here.
Besides, she, Adrian and Sonya was gathered at the head of the table discussing spirit. Christian talked to Jill and Mikhail about defensive magic, which Tasha was chiming in while being all over Dimitri.
I grumbled to myself, taking aggressive bites of my food, earning raised eyebrows from Eddie.
I chose to ignore everyone until someone sat down on my other side. I looked over in shock to see Dimitri. He had piled his plates with a selection of food, and unlike me, was taking his time with each bite.
I swallow my mouthful, asking him, "I thought your seat was at the table?" There was definitely no jealousy in my tone. None at all.
Glancing at me for a moment, then back to his plate, he replied, "I didn't want to sit there."
I will deny to anyone that that simple sentence made me feel satisfied. It took everything in me to not look back at Tasha, knowing that her expression would be perfect right now.
I hid my smile, continuing to eat in silence.
"That's it?"
"That's it."
Did I mention my day was going terribly?
I stood in Hans' office watching as he arranged some paperwork on his desk, pointedly not looking at me. "I just found the missing Dragomir for the Queen in under a week, by the way, and you are telling me that I am still going to be filing paper every day." I stared at him incredulously, hands on my hips. I was using more attitude than I should with my boss and the person that decides my future.
He didn't even lift his eyes from the papers as he replied. "That's correct."
Breathe, Rose. "I have a good word from the Queen, and you're saying that means nothing?"
"After what you pulled with the Princess, no." He finally looked up at me with a stern expression, "I haven't made up my mind about you yet, and until I do, you will be downstairs filing paperwork every shift. And until I do decide what to do with you, I suggest you be on your best behaviour, Hathaway."
I recognised the dismissal in his tone. Hans was done talking about it, and so I had to drop it. The warning was clear enough, so with clenched fists, I stormed out of his office, trying very hard to not yell at the people I passed.
I didn't stop until I had reached Abe's suite, I was early, but I didn't care. The sooner I can get this over with, the better. Banging on the door with much more force than needed, I only had to wait a moment before it was opened to reveal a displeased Abe, cell phone in hand.
"You're early," He mused, taking in my mood.
"So? I'm hungry. Let's eat." I replied, pushing past him into the room.
I heard him speaking into the phone in what I'm assuming was Turkish. I stalked through his room and straight to the fridge, knowing that it was stocked. Opening it proved right, a selection of soft drinks, juices, and alcohol. Deciding that I needed something to take the edge off, I picked up one of the beer bottles, untwisting the cap as I closed the fridge with my hip.
"Say the word, and I will send someone to take care of him," Abe told me with an earnest expression. And a little menace in his eyes.
I stared at him, perplexed. Was he offering to send someone to kill Hans? "What?"
"I'm assuming that Belikov has caused this."
"What! No. This has nothing to do with Dimitri -" I cut myself off, "Okay, yes, this has a little to do with Dimitri. But you don't have to send someone to take care of him." I tilted back my beer, swallowing a few mouthfuls. "God, Abe. Can you not be a mob boss right now? Take care of him," I scoffed, "Original much."
By the time I was sitting on the couch I had finished half of my bottle. I lounged in the cushions, throwing my feet up on the coffee table.
"Then what has brought about this lovely mood?"
I crossed my arms, "It hasn't been the best day."
Abe ventured to the kitchen, returning with another beer for me and a piece of paper, handing them both to me. "If you are going to be drinking, you should eat something. Pick what you want, and I'll order it."
After glancing at the menu, I chose a burger with sides and some dessert. I can eat a lot normally, and when drinking, I ate even more. I was only mildly surprised that Abe didn't say anything against me drinking. I could only imagine Janine's reaction if she knew he was letting me do so.
I had opened my second beer when he sat down opposite me with a glass of wine in hand. He studied me for a couple of minutes, a calculating look on his face. Finally, he spoke, "So tell me about it."
"About what?" I asked.
"How about with how you ended up with Victor Dashkov working with you."
Fuck.
A nice little bonding moment between Rose and Abe in the next chapter, along with some more Rose and Dimitri :D
As always, I look forward to seeing what you think :D
