I have been telling you that there are 16 chapters in this story, which is finished in my computer in my native langueage Finnish, and so the story is finished, over. But I don't want to stop writing this, so I guess there can be more chapters than that. The only problem is that I don't have many ideas of the content of these new chapters, and so, I would really appreciate some ideas, even very litte directional.
Chapter 12 – Sango
Sango laid in her bed, staring at ceiling, where the rays of the morning sun shone. She had been awake for a few hours already.
Now she sat up and her eyes turned at her roommate. And the drip stand by her bed, where the Nutrison liquid dripped to the nasogastric tube Kagome had. Then the girl woke up.
"Morning", said Kagome, rubbing her eyes a bit.
"Morning..." Sango nodded quiet. "Kagome, please eat something today... I'm... I'm so sorry to see you with the tube... You are so thin..."
Kagome didn't say anything but turned her eyes to the floor, then shook her head. She was completely blind of how thin she was. When she looked in the mirror, she saw a walrus, not the skeleton she was.
Kagome put on her casualwear while Sango put on her pink hospital gown which she always wore. Then the woman opened the door to the corridor. She stopped at the doorway and glanced over her shoulder to see her friend, who clearly wasn't going for breakfast.
"Kagome…"
"Go on... I¨ll be there", Kagome mumbled.
'I don't believe you', Sango thought and walked out of the room, heading towards the dining hall. Then she heard familiar voice.
"Come, Inuyasha. Let's go together."
That was Miroku, who held his hand against the boy's back. He was in a straightjacket, again. Miroku pushed him forward. But then he saw Sango in the corridor, a huge, warm smile spread on his face,
"Lovely to see you, Sango!" he shouted out and ran to the woman and hugged her.
"M... Miroku..." Sango whispered, hugging the man back with one hand.
When you'd first get to know Sango, anyone would think of her like this: calm, nice, gentle, loving, quiet. But she (like almost all the patients of ward K10-3) had her rough past with dark secrets.
Everything started over a year ago. Sango had come down with psychosis. Her sense of reality faded and she was hallucinating. She had been taken in a mental hospital's normal ward, and spent a week in there. But then the doctors made a huge mistake and let her home. No-one would ever had imagined what would happen.
Soon in every evening papers' headlines said this: A young woman killed her whole family with a knife. Whole family; mom, dad, and a 11-year-old little brother.
This was followed byt a long lawsuit, interrogations, lawyers and finally a psychiatric assessement here in K10-3. She was stated criminally insane, and so she wouldn't be put in jail, but here in involuntary treatment.
But when Sango's psychosis settled down because of the medication she got, something terrible happened. After realizing what she had done, she started hating herself. And so she became insanely suicidal. She had tried everything to kill herself. She had climbed on windowsills and tables to jump down and land on her neck. She had drank detergents, paint and hand disinfection liguids. She had jumped down staircases, but always made it with no harm. She cut herself with everything sharp she could find. She tried to buy drugs from Naraku, but he thought 'it wasn't Sango's time to go', so he wouldn't sell them to her. She even tried to kill herself by stopping both eating and drinking – which led to a naso-gastric tube, like with Kagome. You name it, she's done it.
Now she had been at K10-3 for a bit over a year, and got a new diagnosis instead of psychosis: severe depression. It was a miracle she was alive. She wasn't been let out of the ward even supervised, but, of course, could walk on the caged yard. Her story was maybe even the saddest of this ward. But in here she was understood, not judged. Also, Miroku's company was very therapeutic for her.
Sango walked the corridor towards the ward's elevator, hand-in-hand with her own nurse Sara. They were on their way to downstairs, where the doctor's office were. Sango spoke to her regulary.
Sara knocked the room's door.
"Come in", said the doctor's voice from inside. Sara opened the door and let Sango in first. She sat on an armchair opposite the doctor.
"Well, Sango. How have you been?" the doctor asked.
"...I'm not sure..."
"You seem to be feeling better now that Miroku's back. Am I right?"
Sango nodded.
"We took blood tests from you yesterday. Your clozapine blood count was a bit lower from the last time. We'll raise your Leponex dose a little. Seroquel will be left the same."
"Ahem..." Sara cleared her throat. "Sango has her bad moments, in which the medicine Truxal doesn't really help. Could something be done to help her?"
"Hmm..." the doctor thought. "We could try Diapam. Let's try it and see how big dose we need."
"Thank you..." Sango mumbled quietly.
Then to the other subject: "We have decided you will start getting psychotherapy twice a week."
And then Sango changed the subject: "And... If I may ask..." she hesitated. "... is there any talking about me leaving this place...?"
"Oh Sango..." the doctor sighed, sad. "You know we are talking years, and not just one... This is really not topical... You will leave the ward K10-3 at the latest in five years, or maybe a little sooner, if you keep getting better. We'll start talking about your next ward within two, three years. You will most likely be moved to the women's forensic ward..."
This is when Sango burst in tears. Sara pet her back and gave a look upon the doctor.
"Maybe we should try the Diapam...?" Sara suggested.
"Good idea", the doctor nodded.
Sara led Sango back to the third floor, ward K10-3. Kaede walked to them.
"Hi Kaede. Could you bring us 10 mg of Diapam?" Sara asked.
"Of course. Just a minute", the elder woman nodded, turned around and walked towards the medicine room. Sango was sobbing hopelessly. Sara led Sango to the calming room – which wasn't the same as an isolation room.
Sango sat down on a big, green beanbag and Sara covered her with a heavy blanket. Sango took deep breaths and wiped her cheeks covered in tears.
"Didn't that come to you as a full surprise? I mean, how long you will be staying here?" Sara asked.
"Oh no... No at all... But still..." and so Sango burst in tears again. "I want to die! I should die! I don't deserve to live! Not after what I have done! I don't...!"
"Shh shn... It's okay..." Sara shushed and stroke Sango's back of the hand. Soon the door was knocked, and Kaede came in with a mug and a small cup of two tiny pills.
"Here, 10 mg of Diapam."
"Thank you. I think this will do."
In about an hour Sango was let out from the calming room. The sedative Diapam had taken some effect. This medicine was the same what Inuyasha was given, but he got even a twenty times bigger dose.
Sango was looking for one person. She really needed some company now. She wanted to talk to Him.
And so she found who she was looking for in the living room. Miroku sat at the table, reading the daily news.
"Miroku…" Sango whispered quietly and got carefully closer to the man.
"Sango! How lovely to see you!" Miroku rejoiced and ran to hug the woman. Sango was surprised, but hugged back and smiled a little.
"...Could we talk a little?" she asked.
"Of course!"
As it was noon, no room in the ward was empty, except most of the patient's rooms. So the duo made their to the sofa at the end of the eastern corridor. It was all quiet, the only sound they heard was the TV from far away. They sat on the sofa and held each other's hands.
"Is there something bothering you?" Miroku asked compassionately.
"I was just thinking... I mean... You'll leave this place... in about two years."
"Yes?"
"And you'll go to the men's forensic ward?"
"Exactly."
"But we... We wouldn't be able to meet each other", Sango said, again, almost on the verge of tears. "I can't live without you!"
Miroku got even closer to Sango, put his arm over her shoulders and started rocking slowly.
"But Sango, we can still write letters when we know in which ward we are. We can use the wards' phones. And maybe some day we can meet at the cafeteria", he smiled his eyes closed.
"Yes..." Sango chuckled weakly. "I guess so..."
"Everything is going to be fine. And besides, it will still be two whole years", he said, tightening his hug. Sango could hear his heart beating. She closed her eyes. This moment should last forever.
