How To Text A Tsundere
by Newt Is My Shank


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: hospital food sucks :/


Shintarou~

I bet you guys are having a great lunch now! That's probably the only thing I miss about school lmao. Japanese lunches are fucking amazing like. I heard Shuutoku has this famous tantanmen they sell only on the last Friday of every month. I heard it's so good that Buddha comes out of the sky to congratulate you on graduating.

Okay maybe Suzuki-sensei was messing with me on that one. But still. I want KATSUDON. RAMEN. YAKISOBA BREAD. GYUUDON. YAKITORI. HAMBURG STEAAAAAAK! Shintarou, I think I'll really die eating hospital food. I don't know if it's just the meds but everything tastes like cardboard. I think it's the meds. And it's really hard to eat with this stupid cast! I thank my mom in every alternate universe I'm in that she gives me tasty food from home every morning. GOD BLESS.

Also I heard how hectic your schedule is from Kazunari. How the hell are you coping with club activities, InterHigh AND incoming tests? Are you like some God or something? Ahhh I lowkey honestly wanna go see your basketball practice one day. I watched an old NBA match that Kazunari recommended to me the other day and it was SO COOL? Like how do you even like. Aim. And get the ball in from the three-pointer line? YOU'D HAVE TO HAVE LIKE AN ARM STRENGTH OF BUDDHA TO DO THAT. I'M SHOOK. What position do you play by the way?

Ooh lemme guess. Point guard? Center? Shooting Guard? I'm taking a wild guess and saying it's either one of those three. They seem to fit your personality pretty well. The point guard because they're normally leaders right? And center because most of them I've seen are tall. And shooting guard because I heard from Takao that you score the most on the team.

Also I've been revising for the stupid tests, just to let you know. I want to die. Why can't they let us study something interesting? Like psychology? Or philosophy? I'M NOT GOING TO USE ALGEBRA WHEN I'M WORKING IN A BOOKSTORE, THANKS, BUT I COULD PROBABLY FIND A WAY TO INDIRECTLY MANIPULATE SOMEONE TO BUY THOSE BOOKS. Could it have killed them to teach us something practical like. I don't know. How to pay taxes or something? They could teach us Latin too. It probably won't be any useful but hey at least it's cool. Also I want an excuse to say gluteus maximus during class and absolutely make sense. It's one of my goals in my bucket list.

The fish here smells like depression.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: hospital food sucks :/


Ayase,

Again, I must chastise you for use of profanity in everything you write. And yes, we are having a decent lunch. Takao lost at rock-paper-scissors and is buying drinks at the moment. I always offer him his lucky item to improve his luck but he rejects them every time, which is his loss. He might actually win at something one day if he'd accept my gracious offer. He might not win against my luck but he might stand a chance against others. I am also pleased to hear that you are taking proper care of your lucky items from Takao. Oha-Asa says that if you hug your…'Shin-tan'...at night it would increase the frequency of pleasant dreams. So I encourage you to do it. It would drastically help with your recovery.

I am not aware of this delicious tantanmen, but you have implored me to investigate its existence. While I doubt its validity seeing as you heard it from Suzuki, it could possibly help improve my luck properties when it comes to academics. I have been studying on how to improve my academic luck since middle school, after being forced to second place multiple times by my former captain. I attempted using my manager's notes and studied the materials she uses for notes as her notes have frequently helped the team's idiot pass his exams. Unfortunately I never managed to my former captain during that time frame, but it should help secure my academic ranking in Shuutoku.

Other than that, every food item you have listed has a high intake of calories and are extremely unhealthy. Hospital food may not be greased in cholesterol but it is healthy for you and you should stop taking advantage of your mother to always bring you food. As for your cast, I assume Takao spoils you by feeding you by hand so I do not fathom to think why you might have trouble eating with it. But if it hinders your mobility to that extent you could request for small snacks like bread and fruits instead of meals that require utensils.

I can assure you that I am plenty capable of handling academics and basketball. With Oha-Asa and a proper worth ethic by my side I have no doubt that I am able to succeed in my academics. For the latter, there should be no trouble considering my abilities and the competition we are up against. We will be due for the preliminary finals this weekend, a taxing day where there will be two matches on the same day - which should prove to be an mildly interesting event - but I am assured that our victory is guaranteed no matter who our opponent is.

While the title is fitting, I do not believe any man has the caliber to be monikered 'God', however I appreciate that you think so highly of my ability to juggle work-life balance, though I have a suspicion that you only think so due to your inability to juggle yours. Also I do not see the issue of being able to properly shoot three-pointers. With enough practice and accuracy even someone like you would be able to shoot a decent three-pointer. I would not be able to empathize with your difficulties seeing as I have never missed a shot. And no, I am not exaggerating this fact. I do not recall ever missing a shot in my entire life.

If you use your more than average inferring abilities, you should be able to properly guess what position I play - though I do not understand the correlation of personality with position. And clearly you should be using the time to revise seeing as you've skipped out on more thanhalf the term and are behind on your studies as you have only been present for one day of class in your entire high school career. And I do not honestly see the purpose of having a philosophy class, though I could see some worth in a psychology class. Though the way you phrase it only you and my former captain would wish to take part in it. And of course you would only bother to learn a beautiful language only to scandalize it by using it for a body part. Yes, I have known you well enough to know what you are referring to, do not take me for an uneducated fool.

Also if saying that word in a Latin class is part of your bucket list, I have very low hopes for your future.

Please eat your fish. It is good for developing brains like yours.

- Shintarou


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/

P.S. Pisces ranks at 2nd today. Your lucky item is an orange jacket. Your Oha-Asa forecast says that you should be open to new interactions today to maximise the full potential of your luck.

- Shintarou


"Shin-chan~ I got your red bean soup!"

Takao tilted his head in confusion at the lack of response from his partner. Normally the green-haired boy would tell him to shut up and stop making so much noise and hurry up with his red bean soup. Until he spotted the resident tsundere rapidly typing on his phone, an extremely miniscule, nearly non-existent exasperated smile on his face. It was certainly not his usual stoic frown, so Takao was 99% sure that was the megane's attempt at a smile. Heheh, he's probably texting Izu-chan, what with an expression like that, Takao chuckled internally, ready to tease the shooting guard to submission.

"Maa~ Shin-chan, texting Izu-chan again? Your smile says it all!" Takao singsonged, placing the cold drink directly in front of the megane's face, much to his annoyance. Midorima merely "Hmph'ed" and pressed "Enter", sending the latest email through, "Don't be ridiculous, Takao. Nothing that girl sends me will ever make me smile nanodayo." Even as he said this the green-haired shooter was still giving his phone quick glances while casually eating the pickled vegetables from his bento box.

Takao rolled his eyes, Yeah right you tsundere. I can see you eyeing your phone waiting for her reply. "Anyway Shin-chan, aren't you going to ask her out this weekend?" the Hawk Eye player relished in the violent spit take from his partner as he - as elegantly as possible - choked on a piece of pickled radish, quickly moving to retrieve a handkerchief - a goddamn handkerchief, what a fucking gentleman - from his shirt pocket and dabbing it around his mouth, acting like it never happened.

"D-Don't be stupid, Takao! S-She's still injured, she could not possibly go out this weekend nanodayo," Midorima pushed up his glasses - a nervous tic, Takao observed -, eyebrows furrowing together in annoyance at his previous inelegance. "Also, if you did not notice, we have a match this weekend," Midorima replied just as Takao said, "Yeah, aren't you going to invite her to watch the game?"

The two partners stared at each other incredulously. Takao then grinned when he realized that Midorima basically sold himself out by saying that he didn't ask only because of the fact that Izumi was still injured, not because he didn't want to. And the fact that he assumed Takao was hinting that he take her out for a date, not to see a match, and didn't end up denying or rejecting the idea of it.

Midorima cleared his throat, frown back in place. "It would be in her best interest to continue resting in hospital, seeing as she is a patient healing from a fall. It would also likely be a boring event for her seeing as victory will be swift in our favor," he turned to look at Takao with a look that basically screamed 'I'm-trying-too-hard-to-stay-nonchalant-but-I'm-too-tsundere-for-this-shit', "and I would assume that you would have already beaten me to the chase regarding that area, considering the amount of time you spend in her company nanodayo."

Takao sweatdropped. You are so goddamn obvious, Shin-chan. It's unbecoming of you.

Before he could reply, a small ding from Midorima's phone stole their attention from the debate of asking Izumi out to watch the preliminary final game. As casually as possible, Midorima opened the email notification while Takao hung around over his shoulder to read the conversation, the green-haired shooting guard too used to Takao's catlike curiosity to even bother berating him for invading his personal space.


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: Re: Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/


Shintarou,

As usual, your emails are full of roasting my personal life choices. And no, the day I stop swearing is the day I eat vegetables out of my own free will, which is never~!

Anyways I already sleep with Shin-tan, so you didn't have to tell to do that. And I guess it's working? The doctor says I'm making a remarkable recovery and I could probably stop wearing the cast a week earlier than the usual six to eight weeks (but I'll probably have to spend another six weeks to get back my hand strength ugh). Plus I'll probably be released from hospital before the all-day review test starts, like WTF I'll end up having to use my left hand to write. Thank god I practiced how to use my left hand while in hospital. Praise me, Shintarou~ for once I thought ahead, amirite?(`ー´)

(Also low blow, Shintarou. I can't help that school is my ultimate weakness! And I would like to let you know that I could beat you anytime when it comes to standardized tests. Don't underestimate a loser who only knows how to read and study all day long! Wow I actually had to roast myself for that one lmao.)

SHOOTING GUARD! I'm right, right? You're definitely the shooting guard! Shit that's so cool wtf you've never missed? Not even once? How far can you shoot? I really wanna watch you guys play one day. You and Kazunari are both on the starting lineup right? That means you guys must be the best of the best right? THAT'S INCREDIBLE AND YOU'RE ONLY FIRST YEARS WTF YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED MORE THAN I EVER HAD IN MY LIFE LMFAO O(≧▽≦)O Also I'm soooo sorry I can't be as perfect as you, Shintarou. I'm short and I can't play sports, so sue me, everyone should have flaws! Well, I have a bucket load of them, so I can't say much but eh.

Well excuse my gluteus maximus I find it hilarious to have something like that on my bucket list. #Stupid&Proud! Also I read online that if you down a shot of warmed chicken essence in the morning of an exam it should help you concentrate better. It's not really a superstition but apparently a lot of Singaporean students do it before a big exam. And they're pretty smart right?

Brb gotta take my meds!

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


"Eheh...Izumi-chan's really good at giving out embarrassing compliments," Takao laughed, unable to help the light blush on his cheeks at the unusual enthusiasm the the girl gave off in exuberant amounts while she was praising their basketball prowess, "Shin-chan?"

The Shuutoku starter was silent as he read through the email, eyes fixated on a certain paragraph of the message.

"Shin-chan?"

Midorima's staring intensified, a contemplative look reaching his eyes, "Hmm….chicken essence..."

"EH? You were reading that?" Takao sweatdropped, "How could you miss out the praise Izu-chan was loading on you?"

"Hmph," Midorima turned chin up, pushing up his glasses with an air of arrogance, "I do not need to react over what is so clearly obvious. I know my own worth, nanodayo."

Ahhh, that's Shin-chan for you, Takao dreamily thought, smiling tiredly. The point guard reread the message again and tilted his head, chewing on his yakisoba bread tentatively when he caught onto a certain questionable third paragraph regarding the stuffed green cat "Shin-tan".

"'Anyways I already sleep with Shin-tan, so you didn't have to tell to do that'. Eh? Why would you tell Izumi-chan to sleep with Shin-tan?" At this Midorima broke his focus and turned away, refusing to meet the point guard's eyes. Takao stared at the shooting guard in bewilderment at the out-of-character moment until the implication dawned on him and he promptly lost his shit.

"BWAHAHAHAAHA oh my god Shin-chan, you PERVERT!"

"S-SHUT UP TAKAO!" Midorima hissed, glaring at the laughing mess that was his partner as the brunette literally started rolling on the floor laughing, much to the annoyance and amusement of the students around them "I-It w-was just a reminder from O-Oha-Asa! I did not implicitly d-demand her to sleep with her lucky item -!"

"Pfft, yeah whatever makes you happy Shin-chan," Takao giggled, wiping the tears from his eyes, chest heaving from the sheer amount of laughter leaving his lungs, "Yep, totally not about to ask her to pretend that Shin-tan isn't you."

"Takao -"

"But still, there's your chance, Shin-chan, you should invite her to come," Takao quickly diverted the topic in order to avoid further conflict and the chance that Midorima might possibly kill him, "Didn't you read? She really wants to watch us. And you."

Midorima fixed his glasses for the third time today, not that anyone was counting, cheeks dusting pink. "I would have assumed that it would be natural for her to have been asked by you instead. Seeing how close you two are nanodayo."

Aaah, Shin-chan's jealous, Takao deadpanned. And of course, I gotta be the man responsible to fix it~!

"I guess," Takao sighed, taking out his phone, a faux thinking look crossing his features. "But I think it'd really mean a lot more to Izu-chan if you asked her, you know? She's always talking about wanting to watch you play, and to meet you. You're like her idol you know? Also if I ask she's still going to ask if you're okay with it, and she might accidentally think you don't want her to come, and I thought that it'd be fun for us to hang out together afterwards to celebrate our victory, but if that's what you wan -"

As predicted, Midorima had already started rapidly typing out a reply even before Takao finished his sentence, leading the Hawk Eye player to smirk internally. Jackpot. Oh you've done it again Kazunari, you amazing mastermind. What would these two do without you?


To: Ayase Izumi
From: Midorima Shintarou

Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: hospital food sucks :/


Ayase,

This may be sudden, but if I can recall correctly, the hospital is an agreeable walking distance from the stadium the preliminary match will be hosted in. In your case it would be possible for you to walk there without much trouble. But only if the hospital allows you to leave. The final preliminary match is on a Saturday and will start promptly at five, lasting approximately an hour or more, if that is agreeable with you.

Takao has also...suggested that you might like to join us for dinner or such after our match. But only if you are capable of doing so. We will not force you into coming if you are unable to.

- Shintarou


"Smooth Shin-chan, making it all my idea," Takao raised an eyebrow at his partner, swallowing the last bite of his yakisoba bread.

Midorima huffed. "Technically, it was your idea. Do not blame it on me if she -" two dings! could be heard one after another in rapid succession and the pair stared at the green phone in surprise. Takao watched in amusement as Midorima opened the message automatically without even a moment's hesitation.


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject:


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject:


OF COURSE? I'M SO HAPPY YOU ASKED OH MY GOD? I swear I won't even sleep the night before the match I'll be too fucking hyped like! Sorry Shintarou I'm really lost for words sorry for the caps lock but yes! I'll ask for permission from the doctor! I think I'm gonna be discharged this weekend anyway so! *:. o(≧▽≦)o .:* Ahhhh I really wanna meet you! I wanna know how this famous "Shin-chan" looks like! Tell Kazunari I'm looking forward to him being awesome too! Can't wait can't wait! FUCK.

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


After finishing reading the email Takao had divulged into uncontrollable snickers at the very "Izumi-like" response. Full of profanity and energy and pure, innocent happiness that should never be tainted on. The best thing about the whole exchange was Midorima trying - emphasis on the word trying - his best not to smile at her overly enthusiastic reply.

Ah Shin-chan just admit that you want her to come watch you play.

Just as Takao got his shit together the bell rang to signal the end of lunch break. "Ah, times up, sensei's coming in soon," Takao told the shooting guard, who nodded in acknowledgment and started packing up his things a little more slower than usual. Takao noticed that Midorima kept reading over the latest message while packing, his eyes expressing more determination than he usually did.

Hoho, Takao thought with a grin, looks like you're gonna be in for a show this weekend, Izu-chan~!


The hours very slowly tickled by while Izumi was still nursing in hospital. It was a vicious cycle everyday: she'd wake up, have a check up, eat a tiny meal, take her meds and struggle to bathe with the cast. Her mom would come in in the mornings to leave her non-disgusting and non-dairy food - much to Izumi's relief - before getting her daily lecture for being so goddamn reckless, what in the hell you could have DIED, get a kiss on the forehead and a "Bye, Izumin~!" as her inappropriately attractive mom left for work at the research labs. Then the day would then proceed with many hours of doing something to keep her from going fucking insane.

The highlight of her day would naturally be Takao's visits: with his raucous laughter, contagious smiles, "Shin-chan Recommended Non-Dairy Snacks" as well as her lucky item of the day (she still kept ALL of them at the corner of her bed, insisting to the nurse that they were all precious gifts and that she would very happily try to scale the hospital if anything ever happened to them) never failing to entertain her for hours. But as the days went by his visits gradually got shorter and shorter and later into the evening during the InterHigh period. And despite Shuutoku's winning streak, Takao would always stay back after practice to get in a few hours of training with Midorima before visiting her at the hospital in the late evening hours. He'd appear in his school sweats, exhausted and less cheery than usual. And despite his natural playful enthusiasm Izumi would often find him falling asleep mid-conversation.

His visits had eventually ended up with him using her lap as a lap pillow, conversing sleepily and often not making sense while Izumi listened and ate whatever snack Midorima had recommended for the day, her fingers subconsciously stroking the sweaty point guard's hair, often glancing at whatever ridiculous lucky item the Hawk Eye player brought in that he'd left on her bedside table with a smile. Takao would drift off for awhile to the gentle stroking of his head, much too tired to think about the romantic implications of their situation as Izumi quietly read a book while he slept, strangely soothed by the sleeping point guard's presence.

Of course, he'd be forced to leave eventually due to the visiting hours restriction, with a sleepy apology for not being able to entertain her much, before she dismissed his apology (often with some profanity and a shy hug), telling him to go get rest and forget about visiting her tomorrow (he refused every single time with a smile) and watching him leave, dragging his feet sleepily.

Izumi - spoiled as she was - would then be left in the company of a myriad of books that she would eventually get bored of after while because really, indulging in your hobbies was only special when you had to make time for them. There was of course, looking up random things on her phone and going on SNS, but - "I wanna text Shintarouuuu," she whined to herself, "but that asshole told me not to message him while he's in school!"

Indeed, Midorima had set certain rules when it came to "messaging hours". Firstly, Izumi wasn't allowed to text him while he was at school. That meant that the minute after homeroom ended and the first lesson started, Izumi was forbidden to text him all the way until lunch break. Then she was allowed to text him however many times she liked until lunch break ended, then she would be allowed to text him again right after school was dismissed. After that there was the "Sleep Rule": Midorima would not answer any messages past ten and before five, so as to not "spoil" her and indulge her "midnight-morning texting escapades".

Looking the rules over, Izumi supposed Midorima really was being generous with her. He was still basically allowing her 18 hours of active madness. Ironically, for some reason, this rule didn't apply for basketball practice, but the bluenette decided not to pry into that matter. But seeing as basketball practice wasn't included in the "messaging hours" rule, then wouldn't it be okay for her text him anyway but he didn't particularly have to answer back immediately?

("Nah, nah Izumi-chan, it's not that," Takao said as he happily spoon fed the girl a special soy milk pudding Midorima "accidentally recommended" during lunch break, "You gotta understand that Shin-chan is a Bonafide Tsundere™. If he's telling you that he doesn't want you texting him during school hours, it basically means 'I won't be able to stop myself from reading your messages immediately regardless whether I'm in class or not'." Izumi shut her eyes in pleasure and blew her cheeks out in joy at the mild caramel taste of the pudding on her tongue, "Mmmmm. But isn't Shintarou super studious? You mentioned that he's never texted during class before. Even for you Kazunari." Tako sweatdropped and moved the pudding cup away from Izumi's reach, eliciting a betrayed look from her, "Yeah no shit. You're kind of above that rule, Izu-chan. I'm his best friend and he won't even do that for me! Ever! For that comment I'm stealing the pudding~" "Don't you dare - COME BACK HERE WITH MY PUDDING!")

And thus without question she patiently waited for three o'clock to come. It was just three hours after all. She could be a good friend and wait to text until then, right?

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Bold of anyone to assume she was capable of staying still for that long.

And so Izumi tried. She really did. She glanced through her books again, went through her notes a couple more times, looked through her Tumblr feed. She was doing pretty well for about like 5 minutes before her ADHD kicked in like a bitch and her brain was practically screaming, YO MY GIRL YOU GOTTA DO SOMETHING OR ELSE YOUR BODY GONNA BE ENDING UP SCALING A BUILDING AGAIN. FURREAL.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna go walk a bit, Izumi thought to herself in defeat as she hopped out of bed to go find her slippers, Shintarou did say I should be open to new interactions. How am I gonna interact if I don't get out of bed?

A sudden flash of negative memories invaded her mind for a brief moment and her heart seized in panic. Izumi took a deep breath, hand clenched tightly over her chest and told herself to breathe. Be brave, you fucking dumbass. That happened a long time ago, Jesus fuck. You're just here to talk to people. Come on!

Also, Izumi fingered the sleeve of Takao's Shuutoku basketball jacket that he left last night in his bout of fatigue, Oha-Asa did say my lucky item was an orange jacket today. And with that she shrugged the jacket over her tiny shoulders, deadpanning at how oversized it was on her. Kazunari's big…

And thus Izumi explored the hospital, observing on curiously at the amount of white she saw with her own two eyes. It was the usual scene she had been so used to seeing for the past two weeks. There were doctors looking serious while discussing something on their clipboards, nurses assisting the disabled, patients talking casually to one another with the familiarity one would have when you live in the same ward for weeks on end. A frighteningly comforting sight for the blue-haired girl. After inquiring for directions she made her way down to the cafeteria, hopefully to get some grub that didn't taste like cardboard. Could really go for some pudding, Izumi mused. I don't really care if it has milk in it. As long as I don't eat like 4 to 5 tubs it should be fine. Right?

(And to that response, her digestive system told her what a fucking bad idea it was. But did Izumi care? Nah.)

And just as her luck, as she made her way down to the cafeteria she spotted a tray full of prepackaged desserts on the counter. Daifuku, cakes, cupcakes, mochi, and on the far corner there was…

"Pudding!" Izumi said aloud with so much hope in her tone it was nearly laughable, "And the last one too!"

Immediately she rushed over to the counter to buy the last delectable looking pudding cup, eyes glittering with so much happiness that she barely even noticed when a large, muscular hand clamped down over the last pudding cup first before she did.

Izumi blinked in shock, "The pudding -"

"Oh, ojou-chan, what do we have here?"

Izumi looked up at the towering, bulking figure leaning over her, and she could slowly, very slowly, feel herself disintegrating into despair.

"Fuck."


Omake

"Ah, times up, sensei's coming in soon," Takao told the shooting guard, who nodded in acknowledgment and started packing up his things a little more slower usual. Takao noticed that Midorima kept reading the latest message while packing, his eyes expressing more determination than he usually did.

Hoho, Takao thought with a grin, looks like you're gonna be in for a show this weekend, Izu-chan~!

Ding~!

Eh?

Confused, Midorima opened the incoming email from the blue-haired girl.


To: Midorima Shintarou
From: Ayase Izumi

Subject: btw


Help me tell Kazunari that he left his jacket on my bed while he was sleeping with me yesterday! Thanks!

- Izumi ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ


Midorima's glasses cracked.

"TAKAO!"

Takao flinched at the deathly aura surrounding the shooting guard and nearly shrieked in fear at Midorima's disgusted, angry, horrified face while he was pointing a shivering bandaged finger accusingly at the already terrified point guard.

"COME HERE! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO WHILE VISITING AYASE? WHY ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY YOU - "

"WAHHH SHIN-CHAN I'M RUNNING BECAUSE YOU LOOK FUCKING TERRIFYING WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?"

"WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? I'M APPALLED THAT YOU HAVE THE GALL TO EVEN DEFEND YOURSELF - "

"SHIN-CHAN WAIT SHIN-CHAN DON'T THROW YOUR FUCKING BOWLING BALL AT ME WHAT THE FUCK -"

"MOLESTING AYASE IN HER SLEEP! SLEEPING WITH HER - !"

"WAIT WHAT? HOLD ON SHIN-CHAN LET ME EXPLAIN -"

"Explain nothing. Prepare for retribution, sinner."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"


Somewhere in the hospital, Izumi sneezed. The nurse glanced at her in worry, inquiring, "Is it too cold for you, Ayase-chan? I could close lower the temperature if you'd like."

"Nah, it's okay. I think someone is talking about me."

"...I see."

"By the way, I kind of miswrote 'on me' to 'with me'. Do you think anyone would notice?"

"Hmm. Probably not, Ayase-chan. Unless they were an English teacher."

"I see. Well, nothing to worry then."


Please do worry, Ayase. Aka #AyaseJustSignedTakao'sDeathCertificiate.

Also, please keep these amazing reviews coming! Also anyone would like to make a guess who Izumi ended up encountering over the pudding? :3 Leave them in your reviews! Had a lot of trouble and fun formulating the plot for this chapter, but at least it's getting somewhere. :/