So glad you guys liked the last chapter :D
Part 15
I'm surprised by how well that went. It could have gone better, but all things considered, it was more than I had hoped for.
Throughout my shift, I kept thinking about how someone else was aware of Jill and may not want Lissa to have a seat on the Council. If that person was desperate enough, they could go after Jill. Lissa would also be a target, but she was a princess and always had a guardian with her. Jill didn't.
After clocking out for the day, I decided it was best to bring up my concerns with Hans. He may be a hardass, but I knew he would take it seriously, even if it were from me. At least, that's what I hoped.
I caught him as he was packing up for the day; he eyed me for a second before saying, "You have two minutes."
"I'm worried about Jill's safety. Sure she hasn't been announced to Court yet, but I believe there is someone else that knows her identity and may try something before the Council meeting next week." I explained. He raised an eyebrow, but I could see him considering my words.
"And what are you suggesting, exactly?"
My mind blanked for a second, not expecting to make it this far. "She should have a guardian, but not anyone that would be too obvious as to why they are following a non-royal Moroi."
Hans crossed his arms, "And I suppose you are going to volunteer for this?"
"No, I think Guardian Castile would be best."
My suggestion caught him by surprise, "Castile?"
I nodded, pushing on, "He is a good guardian, and they know each other from St. Vladimir's. People will just assume they are hanging out and not question it."
Now silent, Hans scratched his chin in thought. "I'll consider it." With that, he picked up his belongings, signalling that the conversation was over.
With a quick thanks, I left his office.
While I was glad he did listen to me, I was still surprised. If he agrees with me, I can relax knowing that Jill had some protection, and I would also feel better knowing that I had managed to get Eddie a chance to show just how good of a guardian he was. He was being punished because he went along with what I had planned to save Dimitri and I needed to make it up to him.
My good mood continued as I returned to my room to find my door no longer hanging at an angle. Dimitri was good; if you didn't know he had broken the doorframe, you wouldn't be able to tell.
I had left my keys behind for him to use, finding them on my counter that doubled as my kitchenette. Under the key was a piece of paper, recognising his handwriting.
Let me know if you need anything else.
D.
Short and to the point, but also an open invitation to call on him.
Today I was going to decide. I resolved to make the decision after my conversation with Mikhail. While Dimitri hurt me with his rejections, he hadn't meant to, not even being aware that we were soulmates when he had. Then he was going through so much and didn't think he could love and was trying to distance himself from me, in a weird form of protecting me.
It wasn't right for me to lead him on, making him think there was a chance if there wasn't.
He still cared for me; I could feel it. Even his actions recently showed that he does. But he still didn't feel the bond.
That was the only thing that truly held me back. I'm scared of being left again; my nightmare proved that much.
Do I put all my faith in him to stay with me?
Two sharp knocks at my door broke me from my thoughts; glancing at the door, I knew who it was. I crossed the room and opened it to reveal Dimitri, his mask up, but I could feel his nerves.
"Hi," I greeted, leaning against the door frame, not missing the spark of happiness from him.
"Hi. I just wanted to -" He cut himself off, swallowing, "I just wanted to ask if the door is to your liking?"
Had I always made Dimitri this nervous? If I couldn't feel his emotions, I wouldn't be able to tell how anxious he was by just his expression. I had to conceal my smile, turning to inspect the doorframe, "Yeah, you are indeed handy." Many dirty jokes ran through my mind. "Thanks for doing it."
He smiled, relieved, "Of course, Roza."
Standing before me, I watched as he opened his mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Giving me a tight smile, he turned to leave. But after a step, he spun back to face me.
"I was wondering if you would want to go to the gym? With me," He clarified. "It has been a while since I sparred, and I…." Dimitri looked down at his feet, hands clasped behind him, "That is if you don't mind. I know you just finished your shift."
I had to bite my lip to keep the grin off my face. While I loved how badass Dimitri is, the confidence that oozes off of him, this nervous side of him was endearing.
Despite the fact I was tired, I couldn't deny that sparring with Dimitri would be nice. Before he was the man I loved, he was my mentor and trainer, and the chance to train with him again wasn't something I wanted to pass on. "Sure, let me get changed."
If I thought he was happy before, he was elated now, feeling it burst from him. Again, without the bond, you wouldn't be able to tell just how excited and relieved he was that I had agreed. It made me wonder if he realised just how much I could feel from him.
We hadn't spoken in detail about what I felt through the bond . Maybe I should, especially if it was just going to keep getting stronger. Perhaps him knowing more about it will help him unblock his end of it?
Normally it would only take a few minutes for me to change into my workout gear, but this time I stared at my selection of sports bras and leggings, trying to decide which ones I wanted to wear. I don't know why I was so uncertain of which to choose. It was Dimitri; he's seen all the gear I owned over our many training sessions together.
But this time was different.
This was the first time training together outside of the academy. We aren't mentor and student now.
We aren't anything. I groaned.
Why was I stressing out like a girl going on her first date! It wasn't like I wanted to impress Dimitri…
Was it?
I grabbed the first two I saw and threw them on, throwing on an oversized shirt for good measure. With my gym bag in hand, I joined Dimitri in the hallway, where he was leaning against the wall between our rooms. The singlet and loose running shorts he wore made my stomach do flips.
When our eyes met, I swear I felt a spark from the bond. The feeling made me shiver, and my fingers and toes tingled. I wasn't sure if Dimitri felt it; his feelings quickly became troubled as I kept staring at him. Before he could ask, I spun on my heel and started towards the exit.
There was an elevator for the building, but living on the second floor, it was quicker to take the stairs. Dimitri followed after me silently, keeping a respectful distance between us.
It was late afternoon, so there were still people out as we walked the short distance between the dorms and the gym. Like most things for the guardians, they kept everything centralised around Headquarters, which meant it was mainly guardians walking around.
By now, most, if not all, were aware of Dimitri and our soulmate bond. To say we got some weird looks was an understatement. Some were kind, though most were in disgust. A dhampir soulmate pair was already rare and frowned on. Throw in one being ex-Strigoi, and you get a lot of people that think it's their right to give their opinion.
I was used to people staring, often being the centre of rumours at St. Vladimir's, but Dimitri wasn't. I could feel his ire and shame, not that he was outwardly showing it. Only the tightness of his shoulders showed that he was affected.
Well, if there was one thing I've learnt, you don't give them the benefit of knowing that they were getting to you. I slowed my pace until I was beside Dimitri; before I could convince myself otherwise, I threaded my fingers through Dimitri's.
He looked down at me in bewilderment; I just smiled, telling him with my eyes. Play along. Dimitri squeezed my hand in understanding.
Flicking my hair over my shoulder, I made sure to wave at anyone that turned their nose up at us, at Dimitri. He didn't deserve their distrust or judgement. Vlad knows Dimitri blames himself enough without receiving it from others.
By the time we had reached the gym, Dimitri had loosened up, and people had stopped openly staring. There were a few once we entered, but I glared back with enough of a warning that they dropped their eyes.
"So weights or sparring, comrade?" I asked him.
The gym was large enough and open. Even with the number of people in here, there was enough space to work out away from others. There were even private rooms in the back that could be used instead. A catwalk above us went around the perimeter of the building as a track for people to run around without having to go outside. In another building, attached through a corridor, were lap pools and some other workout rooms. It's definitely an upgrade from the gym at the academy.
Dimitri eyed the catwalk, and I could already guess what he wanted to do, "Let's do some laps to warm up and then spar."
I rolled my eyes, same old Dimitri.
We found lockers for our bags and then made our way to the catwalk. Not quite having the nerves to be stuck going around in circles with Dimitri where he may ask questions I didn't have answers for yet, I pulled out my iPod and put in my earbuds.
Agreeing to do ten laps, I took off in a sprint. I could feel Dimitri's disappointment, I was right that he wanted to talk, but I still needed to decide what I would do. I realise now that walking hand in hand with him may not have been the best, and now I'm avoiding him with music. Talk about mixed signals.
I just had to think it through….
I love Dimitri.
But Dimitri hurt me.
It wasn't his fault. Mostly. It was only because he was turned and then was dealing with the guilt and self-hatred of his actions, none of which he had any control of.
But he doesn't feel the bond.
If only he could just feel the bond!
Sonya confirmed that we are soulmates; it's not some broken, messed up one-sided bond.
I can feel his affection for me, how much he loves me. Each time we touch, I feel it getting stronger like he can love a little more each day. Pieces coming back to him.
Was that enough?
I loved him before we had the bond. Maybe I could be with him again, just knowing that he loves me. His words as he held me after my nightmare played in my mind.
"Please believe me now. I will never leave you again, Roza… As long as you allow me, I will always be with you."
If I gave him the chance to prove it, maybe, just maybe, it would open the bond for him.
I glanced over at Dimitri. The catwalk was wide enough for three people to be running side by side to allow others to pass. We were keeping the same pace, though I knew we could both go faster. My thoughts had distracted me, and I knew he was lost in his from the pensive look on his face.
Do I give him a chance?
I removed my earbuds, wrapping the cable around my iPod and shoving it back into the pocket of my leggings. Dimitri caught the movement, a bit of hope building, followed by apprehension. I gave him a reassuring smile, "You don't have to worry, comrade. I'm not going to yell at you again." It wasn't much of an apology for what I said yesterday, something else we would need to talk about.
"I wasn't worried you would -"
I shot him a look, "I can feel it, remember. I don't think you realise that I really can feel everything you do." His eyes widened, dread came through the bond. I stopped running, my hand landing on his arm, "Don't worry, I didn't mean to… If anything, I'm the asshole here invading your privacy," I told him with a frown, "It's just hard to block it out sometimes. It's like when I had to learn how to block out Lissa. I'll get better at it."
Dimitri studied me. I tried to close the bond so that he could think it over without my knowing everything. It hurt to do it, especially when I was touching him. It was easy when there was more distance, but when this close, it was like trying to hold my breath underwater.
"You don't have to, I don't mind," He finally said.
I smirked. "Are you sure? Because I could tell how nervous you were just asking me to come here."
Dimitri flushed, eyes darting away from mine. "It's a lot more than I'm used to revealing, but I trust you." His eyes focused on mine again, "If it helps you know how I feel about you, I don't mind."
This time I dropped my eyes. Letting his emotions come through, his affection was so intense that it took my breath away. It felt similar to when Lissa healed, like colours and lights flowing through me, a warmth to it that reminded me of when Dimitri would hold me close.
I had to step away, the feeling making me light-headed, reaching out to grip the hand railing behind me.
"Roza?"
I shook my head, "I'm fine. That was just… a lot." It was more than I had been expecting, and I already craved feeling it again.
Two things were for sure, Dimitri loved me.
And I wanted to give him that chance.
"So, how will this work?" At his raised eyebrow, I elaborated, "You proving to me that you want to be with me, to stay with me. How will it work?"
His jaw dropped a little, not expecting that. Even from the bond, it went quiet like he had to reboot himself from the shock. But it didn't take long for the joy to come through; it reached his face, a smile breaking out, "I would like to show you my intentions, and gain your trust, in the way I wish I could have when I first started falling for you. You are an amazing woman, Roza, and you deserve to be treated as such. I would like to court you."
"Court? As in…"
He chuckled, "Date. I would like to date you, Roza."
I nodded, muttering, "I knew that." I crossed my arms, trying very hard to keep the blush from taking over. "Okay. I am happy for you to court me. Just..." I bit my lip, glancing up at Dimitri, "Just don't hurt me again, Dimitri."
His smile faltered, eyes becoming softer. Hesitantly, he reached for me, hand coming up to cup my face. "I won't. I promise."
"And then what happened?" Lissa's eyes were practically bulging from her head, having crawled across her bed to now be directly in front of me.
I shrugged, "We finished our workout."
"What?" She asked incredulously. "How! After all that, you just went back to exercising?"
"Yes, Lissa. We are taking things slow. Courting." I explained. I had twirled my hair around my finger; every time I played with my hair, it made me think of Dimitri. Granted, I had been thinking of Dimitri almost non stop today. We really had just continued with our workout after agreeing with him to prove his intentions were genuine. I haven't seen him yet today, having worked earlier today and then coming over to Lissa's after.
I was trying very hard to keep my bond with him closed, to give him privacy. Though there was a part of me that was worried he would be second-guessing himself, and I was too chicken to check.
Lissa laid on her back, a dreamy look on her face, "Courting. It's so romantic. When are you going on your first date?" She asked excitedly, already planning my outfit in her head.
I fell back against the bed so that we were stretched out beside each other. "I don't know. He hasn't asked me yet." The idea of going on a date with Dimitri was both riveting and nerve-wracking. While I had messed around with boys at the academy, I haven't been on an actual date other than when Adrian had taken me out.
Adrian liked to be a little flashy, enjoying it when I would wear a dress that showed enough skin to shock the other Morois around us. But I didn't see Dimitri being like that.
"Oh god, Liss. What would I even wear?" My current wardrobe left a lot to be desired.
Lissa reached over and took my hand, "I'm sure we will figure something out."
My nerves started to build up again, pushing it from my mind; I changed the subject. Turning on my side and propping my head up with my hand, "So how're things with Jill?"
She grimaced.
"That bad, huh?"
Lissa sighed, "It's awkward. And then her mom is sitting there the whole time, and it's… just really awkward. And then when Christian is with us, they just talk about defensive magic, and I don't know how to join in."
I already knew most of this, but I knew Lissa needed to get it out. Talking about the problem always helped her to work through it. "Well, maybe you need to try to talk to her alone."
Her eyes flicked to me, an idea forming in her mind, "You should come with us. We can go shopping for your outfit for your future date."
"That wasn't what I meant." I cringed at the idea of being dragged around the Court's shops. But Lissa stared up at me with round eyes, and I crumbled, "Fine. I will go shopping with you and Jill. But I refuse to try on everything you give me."
She beamed up at me, "You're the best, Rose."
"Yeah, yeah." I laughed.
A knock on the door interrupted us, "What's going on up here?" Christian asked, walking in. He had been left downstairs with Tasha; obviously, he was missing Lissa.
I grinned at him over my shoulder, "Just Lissa telling me that I'm the best. Better than you even."
"Hilarious," He deadpanned. "Are we going to be feeding you, or will you be nice and leave us in peace?"
I scoffed, dinner with him and Lissa would be okay, but I did not want to be around Tasha more than I had to. My irritation always rose to the surface when I thought of the way she would look at Dimitri.
"Tasha has already invited Dimitri over, so if I have to make a giant serving for you as well, I need to know." Christian continued.
"I'll stay," I told him before he had finished his sentence.
Lissa's eyes shot to mine. I could feel through the bond that she thought I was staying just because Dimitri was showing up, but really it was so that I could try to keep Tasha away from him.
After Christian left, Lissa gripped my arm, "Do you think he will ask you out tonight?"
We were all down in the lounge room when Dimitri arrived, announcing himself with a sharp knock at the door. Tasha was already flouncing to the door, a giant smile on her face. I gritted my teeth as I heard their greetings, happy to note that Dimitri kept it short.
When he entered the room, his eyes instantly locked on mine, face impassive, but his affection came through clearly to me. He was unsure of how to act around me, seeing that we weren't dating yet. Not wanting to assume anything, he took a seat in the armchair beside the couch Lissa and I was on. It wasn't close, but also not far.
Tasha glanced between the two of us, appearing distraught, "I hope that this is okay for you two. I know things are still… undecided." Her hand landed on Dimitri's shoulder, and I clenched my fist. The others may think Tasha was being considerate and caring, but I just saw her trying to move in on my soulmate right in front of me.
I gave her a reassuring smile, "We're fine." My tone wasn't friendly.
That made Tasha grin, though Dimitri was giving me a questioning look.
"So, where did they room you, Dimitri?" Lissa asked, also noticing my tension but hadn't put all the pieces together. I realised I had forgotten to tell her that Dimitri and I were neighbours now.
Dimitri shot me a look before answering, "I am living in the far guardian dorm." He was leaving it up to me to disclose the other details.
"Oh, that's a good sign. Maybe it won't be long until you are given your guardian status again," Tasha commented, not having moved from her spot beside Dimitri.
"I doubt it." Dimitri looked down at his clasped hands in his lap. A part of him didn't think he deserved to be a guardian again, but a larger part missed being one. Dimitri wants to help people just as much as I do, wants to be part of the fight. It's what drew us together, the dedication to what being a guardian meant.
"I'm sure it will all work out, comrade," I told him, gesturing between us with a grin, "That's why we went halfway across the country, right? To get this one on the Council and you back to doing what you do best."
Lissa agreed, "It will be my first motion as a Council member."
The smile he gave me in return made my heart flutter.
"Let's eat!" Tasha's enthusiasm was a little over the top, eyes flicking between Dimitri and me. "Come on, Dimka. I bet you're starving."
As I watched Tasha lead Dimitri to the dining room, I couldn't help but peek through the bond at what his feelings were about her. There was nothing romantic, which was a relief, but I don't think he realised what she was doing.
I had to conceal my frown as Lissa pulled me off the couch and in after them.
Sorry if Dimitri comes off a little OOC here. I just figure he's stressing about proving to Rose he's serious and is nervous. Like I picture him in his room convincing himself to just go ask her to the gym, pacing back and forth to work up the courage to just do it.
Next chapter is gonna have a reappearance of the darkness :)
