How To Text A Tsundere
by Newt Is My Shank


Side Story 1 (Ch. 5)


BEEEEEEEEP!

"Alright, five minute water break!"

Takao groaned softly as he stretched his arms, closing his eyes shut in concentration as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and his back. He swore warm ups were getting longer and harder for the past few days, along with the night practice, and it was taking quite a toll on the rest of the basketball club members - aside from their number one shooter and maybe the third years. Even Takao was feeling the heat of it. Despite his physique, he did have his limits, you know!

That being said, but I can't slack off like this, Takao thought, collecting both his and Midorima's bottles in his arms before taking a swig of his own. "Shin-chan! Water!" Takao couldn't help but grin as Midorima swiftly caught the bottle without even looking, the perfect athlete that he was. Surprisingly enough, the megane was behaving quite well today. Normally the green-haired teen would've very likely used one of his three selfish acts at this point, one would be getting permission to go for shooting practice by himself (with Takao's occasional supervision). But something in Izumi's email earlier seemed to pushed him to practice with the team today.

Geh, still that lucky item's got to go….Takao deadpanned at the sight of the life Daruma doll sitting on the bench, the Hawk Eye teen torn between laughing outright at its size or teasing Midorima with it. He's dealt with Midorima's quirks for so long that no lucky item Midorima brought around with him ever surprised him anymore. But the reactions it received from the other members were still hilarious as fuck to see

Still - Takao leaned against the railing in order to catch his breath - truly, if it weren't for the shooting guard's obsessive quirks…

Tall, toned, perfectly proportioned physique. Pretty, silky smooth pristine skin. Takao unconsciously felt his gaze being drawn the the silver of sweat that trickled down his neck as he drank his water. Yes, Midorima Shintarou drank, he never chugged down or took a swig like every other thirsty boy did, lmfao, with the use of his long, pretty fingers, crafted and refined by the hands of God himself. How they looked so inappropriately attractive when holding the ball, fingertips poised to project those ridiculously high three-pointers.

Then there were his eyelashes. His pretty, pretty eyelashes. Almost as pretty as a girl's. Scratch that, Takao was pretty sure his eyelashes were more beautiful than any of those fake lashes he saw on the girls he had crushes on. He would've thought they were fake as well if Midorima had explicitly mentioned that he didn't wear makeup because he thought it was unnecessary to douse his skin with harmful concoctions. Truth be told was that Midorima simply didn't need any. He was annoyingly pretty just as he is,

And let's talk about the hair, shall we? No one in their goddamn mind should ever look that good with GREEN ASS HAIR. But Midorima? Takao didn't know how, but Midorima pulled it off like how he pulled off everything else. It was unfair! Especially when he perspired - yes, you heard me, perspired, not sweated - and those little, tempting rivulets of water dripping down the tips of his bangs in the showers -

Takao shook his head frantically, blush dusting his cheeks. Aaaah, stop! Stop! Shin-chan's a guy! A GUY! A very pretty guy! But still a guy, oi - !

"Bakao, why are you slapping yourself nanodayo?"

"Eh?" Takao looked up in surprise as Midorima stood over him, his typical poker-annoyed expression on his face. The point guard then looked at his hands and realized they were red, and fuck, his cheeks were burning.

"A-Ah, ouch, o-ow!" Takao rubbed his cheeks frantically in order to cool himself down, the fact that Midorima was stalking over closer and closer towards him not helping the fire in his cheeks.

"Honestly, I don't know why you are this stressed over something so trivial as a preliminary match, cool yourself down before you lose any more brain cells, Takao nanodayo," Midorima, despite his brashness and bluntness, pressed his own towel against his partner's cheek, taking the brunette by surprise. The coolness and softness of the towel against his heated cheeks was pleasant, but the fact that the green-haired man was so damn close was not helping his pulse rate at all! Takao's face got redder and redder the more Midorima pressed his towel against his cheek, his green eyes never never leaving the Hawk Eye player's face.

Waaah, it should be illegal to look like that! Shin-chan, you're illegal! Takao mentally screamed.

"Maaa~ Shin-chan what's up with you today~? You're getting soft," Takao teased, diverting the topic. And his pounding heart.

Midorima pushed up his glasses in indignation. "Don't be ridiculous Takao. I was simply concerned that you might be losing more brain cells by slapping yourself. You're as idiotic enough as it is nanodayo."

Takao sweatdropped, "Maaa~ Shin-chan you're so cruel."

"A-Anyway - "

Takao blinked and checked his ears. Did he just hear Midorima stutter?

"Takao...are you doing anything later today?"

Eeeeeehhhhh?

"I'll be visiting Izu-chan, as per usual," Takao said with a smile, trying to read the tsundere's poker face, "Why, Shin-chan? Do you want to do something today?"

For a few seconds Midorima didn't say anything. And then he nodded, slowly.

"I...would like accompaniment...today…"

"Ahh, I see. You wanna go lucky item hunting? I don't mind, but I kinda wanna get some grub after practice~."

"...We can do that afterwards. If you'd like. It's up to you, i-it doesn't matter much to me anyway."

A slow nod. Despite the harsh lighting of the gym lights, Takao could faintly make out an embarrassed flush tinting the green-haired shooter's ears. Takao's eyes went wide - no fucking way…

"Shin-chan...what brought this on? N-Not that I mind...I'm just curious~."

Midorima awkwardly looked to the side and fixed his glasses again, "It's just that...you've been spending quite the amount of time with Ayase that…"

Takao blinked once. Then twice. The lighting that was cast on Midorima's godlike physique really did quite fog up the point guard's concentration for a bit. Either that or he was actually hearing what Midorima was implying…

"...That...I….feel…"

Midorima's ears turned redder and redder the more he tried to explain, taking off his glasses seemingly to wipe them off to hide his nervousness, it was almost too pitiable to bear watching. Holy shit, even I'm getting embarrassed, Takao's cheeks heated up even more, seeing the normally dignified Midorima - prone to be a rude, blunt dickhead 80% of the time - reduced to an introverted child trying his best to ask for what he wanted.

Ahh...this is an unexpected development, I'd never think Shin-chan would actually be jealous of Izu-chan. Heheh, and the way he's trying to express that feeling...oh my god Shin-chan you're killing me here.

Takao broke out into a laugh.

Midorima paused his stammering and blushing and glared at him.

"W-Whatever, I shall go off by myself. There's no need for you to - " Midorima got stopped in place when Takao grabbed onto his wrist. Midorima looked down at him in confusion as Takao yanked onto him so he could pull his own weight up. "Maaa, Shin-chan -" Takao tiptoed so he could be at eye level with the shooting guard, his piercing blue eyes meeting Midorima's elegant green ones, "- you could've just said you wanted to spend time with me you know~?"

Midorima's eyebrows furrowed in anger, and he might've actually looked the part if not for the huge ass gigantic blush gracing his cheeks. "D-Don't be stupid, Takao! I-I just prefer to have some f-form of company when I go o-out nanodayo, it doesn't necessarily have to be yours -"

He couldn't even finish his sentence as Takao plucked the glasses right off his nose and plopped them directly onto his own face. Midorima just stared at him in incredulity because what in the literal fuck.

"I'll accept the invite, Shin-chan~," Takao singsonged, quickly realizing how foggy his partner's glasses were and took the opportunity to wipe them off with his towel, "but next time -"

Takao tiptoed up to Midorima's level again and gently placed the glasses back on his face, knuckles gently brushing against the shooting guard's warm cheek, "- let's invite Izumi-chan out with us too! Okay?"

Midorima stared back at Takao, before closing his eyes, lips drawn into a pretentious, "hmph". There was a hint of a smile somewhere in his expression.

"Hmm, I'd suspect Ayase would be a better form of company than you would. Next time I shall invite her instead, you need not come, Takao."

"H-Hidoi! Shin-chan you're so mean~!"

"I am not. I shall only request for you to to drive the rickshaw for us."

"E-Eh? You're not gonna ask Izu-chan to?"

"Bakao! How could I let a lady do the manual work? And I assumed you had more respect for Ayase than that -"

"That's rude, Shin-chan! Using Izu-chan like that~."

"I am not using her, I am simply stating a fact nanodayo."

Takao burst out into chuckles at their banter. To be fair, he really did kind of miss this, no matter how dickish Midorima could be at times. Visiting Izumi was fun at all but he did feel like he was sort of "neglecting" his partner a bit. "Chaperoning" Midorima on his lucky item hunting days was a past-time that while he might not enjoy 100% of the time - it did have his perks. Sometimes. Sometimes. Like making Midorima smile, pissing Midorima off, teasing Midorima, bullying Midorima -

He lightly shoved at Midorima's shoulder with an all-knowing grin and a wink. "So~ it's a date. Right Shin-chan?"

Midorima huffed and brushed the Hawk Eye player's hand off his shoulder. "Whatever you want to call it. No matter how disgusting it sounds."

"Yes, yes, Tsunderima-chan~."

"D-Don't call me that!"

"Eh, but it's fitting, don'tcha think?"

"Die, Takao."

"OI! FIRST YEARS! STOP FLIRTING HURRY UP AND START YOUR DRILLS! OR I'LL HIT YOU WITH PINEAPPLES!"

"Hai, Miyaji-senpai~!"

"W-We are not flirting!"

"Tell it to the judge, Shin-chan."

"T-Takao - !"


(NG) Side Story 2 (Ch. 5)


"Hey hey, Izu-chan, I've come to collect my -"

Takao fucking froze on the spot only to see Izumi, his Izumi, in bed, wearing HIS varsity jacket. Said blue-haired girl perked up to see him petrified at the doorway and pulled down the sheets, feet pattering down on the floor as she made her way to greet him. Not a smart choice, seeing as Takao got full view of Izumi's tiny, petite form almost drowning in his Shuutoku varsity jacket. Complete with her messy but adorable bedhead hair and the fucking sweater paws that just nicely covered her palms -

ULTIMATE MOEEEEEE! Takao mentally hollered, This is what men's fantasies are made of. Seeing a cute girl wearing a boyfriend jacket and looking like she just got out of bed, coming up to you and AHHH MUST REFRAIN FROM GLOMPING -

"I-Izumi-chan?"

Before the Hawk Eye player knew it, the girl was standing merely inches away from him, her fluffy blue hair lightly touching his face and dark grey eyes staring intently into his own. Ahhh, she's intimidating while close up…! Takao's brain stopped functioning as he felt tiny arms wrap around his neck and pull him down so the height difference wasn't so laughably drastic.

"Kazunari...everyone advised me to do this so…"

"E-Eh, Izu-chan what do you mean 'advise' -"

He felt the pressure around his neck get tighter and he swore, he swore he could very clearly feel the heat in between the distance of their bodies, and holy fucking shit is she going to -

Izumi tilted her chin up, and pressed her lips against the Hawk Eye player's forehead. She stayed in that position for about 2 seconds before pulling away and tilting her head to gauge the point guard's reaction. He was still there, frozen in place, jaw dropped slightly at what just happened and staring at her in disbelief.

Beat.

Beat.

Beat.

Takao did the only thing he knew what to do in this situation.

Beat.

Beat.

Beat.

THUNK.

Izumi watched in a shock as Takao's stoned, lifeless form fell onto the ground.

"...This was not supposed to happen."

Izumi shrugged. Eh, it could've gone worse.


I am sick.