Thank you to both MagpieandtheHound and Alice-Roza for helping me with these chapters :D
Part 20
The first thing I became aware of was the pain coming from my arm; even trying to lift it hurt, a tugging sensation at my skin. It took a moment for me to remember yesterday's events, from the attack to me encouraging Dimitri to sleep while I held him.
It wasn't my intention to fall asleep. Initially, I was going to slip out after he had fallen asleep, but I promised Dimitri that I would be here. And then I was so comfortable next to him that I fell asleep as well.
I was on my back, but I no longer had Dimitri's head resting against me. There was still a weight on the bed beside me, so I knew he was still there. Slowly I became aware of the bond as I woke up more; it felt like I was being blanketed in warmth by his feelings of contentment and love. A lazy smile spreading over my face.
"Good morning, Roza." His husky voice did things to me.
I cracked an eye open to see him gazing at me, lying on his side, head propped up with his hand. "Are you watching me sleep?"
The corner of his lip quirked up, "Maybe. Sometimes I'm amazed by you, and I can't help it," He explained. There was no embarrassment or nervousness as he spoke. His hand reached out, fiddling with a strand of my hair, "When I was attacked in the caves, I remember seeing you escaping and thinking -"
"That I abandoned you," I admitted painfully, frowning at the memory.
"No," He implored, "Roza, I was thankful to know you were safe. Your safety is the only thing that matters to me." His hand cupped my cheek, "I remember thinking that I would never be able to see you again, to be with you again. But at least you were alive. And then, you brought me back, and here you are," His thumb softly stroked my skin as if proving it to himself, a look of awe on his face.
I dipped my head to hide the blush spreading across my cheeks, his words so sweet that they made my heart skip a beat.
"Can I take you out for lunch today?"
I blinked up at him in surprise, "What?"
He grinned, "I'm looking forward to taking you to the markets, but I would like to do something sooner. If you would like to," He quickly added. Dimitri never wanted to assume, always making sure it's on my terms still.
I couldn't deny that I've been looking forward to our first date, and not having to wait another four days for it was appealing. Plus, it wasn't like I had anything else to do. "Lunch? Aren't you skipping breakfast?" I teased, trying to ease the anxiety that grew in him the longer I was silent.
Dimitri chuckled, "It's almost twelve."
"Oh," I glanced at the clock, seeing he was right, "I'll go get dressed then."
It wasn't until I was standing in front of my closet that I remembered why I had gone shopping with Lissa yesterday. And with everything that happened, I didn't even get to buy the shirt I had found.
Staring at the clothes I had, chewing my thumbnail as I vetoed half of the things in there. For some reason, I told Dimitri I wouldn't take long to get ready.
That was a lie.
Because I had nothing to wear!
I had to keep reminding myself that this was Dimitri; he didn't care what I wore. Right? I somehow managed to gain his attention and love before when I was just wearing the clothes I had then that were all second hand.
But this was different. This was a date.
I cursed, just grabbing the first thing that would look nice; it was the same green wrap dress I had worn after graduating. I quickly brushed my hair but left it down, knowing that Dimitri liked it like that. I was almost ready when I remembered that I needed to change the bandage on my arm.
Fishing around under my bathroom sink to find the supply of gauze and bandages I kept there, guardians are no strangers to injuries. Dumping the supplies on my bed, I was about to unwrap my arm when Dimitri knocked on my door.
"It's open!" I yelled, continuing with my task. I heard the door open, and he took a couple of steps in before he stopped. "Sorry, I forgot that I needed to change this. I won't take long." I glanced at him when he didn't respond.
Dimitri was standing in the doorway, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
I cocked my head to the side, "What?"
That seems to shock him out of his stupor, "You're so beautiful, Roza." His voice came out almost breathless.
My fingers fumbled at his words, the loose bandage slipping through my fingers and falling to the floor. "Oh, thank you," I bit my lip while willing my blush to go away.
Dimitri was across the room and inspecting my arm, delicate touches making me shiver. Using his hold on my arm, he led me to my bathroom, "You should wash it before putting on a new bandage." Turning on the taps, Dimitri cupped his hand under it and then poured the water over the stitches until he was happy with it, dabbing the area with a towel to dry it.
I watched silently while he worked, carefully applying some antiseptic. It wasn't necessary for dhampirs, but the doctor encouraged it. Then he covered it again and wrapped my arm with a fresh bandage.
It reminded me so much of our time at the academy, of the times he would tend to my injuries and the rare times he would let me do the same to him.
Before, those were the only times we could get away with touching one another without risking anyone questioning it. I had cherished those moments. But now, if I wanted to, I could touch him without needing to hide it.
I noticed that his hands would linger, brushing against me. Everywhere his fingers grazed sent little shocks of electricity up my arm. I hadn't felt it this intense since I first felt the bond.
My hand moved on its own, my fingertips trailing down his cheek, brushing the loose strands of his hair back from his face. He had dressed in a blue button-up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to expose his arms, and with jeans that hugged the muscles of his legs nicely. It was a rare moment where he was without his duster, but I enjoyed being able to see his form.
"Roza."
His voice broke me from my thoughts, dropping my hand from his face with a flush. I stepped back from him, "Sorry. Umm… thanks," I pointed to my arm, "for this." I felt his disappointment when I moved away, though he quickly concealed it.
I felt like I needed to catch my breath, shocked by how much I was craving those touches again, the bond begging me to return to his arms again. Where I had grown so used to feeling pain pulsating from was now bursting with my love and need for Dimitri.
It was almost frightening how intensely I loved him. These feelings I felt from him. The connection between us was growing each day. I could only imagine how it would feel once the bond was completed.
While soulmates could reject one another and break the bond, if they decide to accept one another, you complete the bond between you by being physical with one another一giving yourself to the other completely.
After that, your souls are joined forever.
I clasped my hands behind my back, "So, where did you want to go?"
Dimitri gave me an easy smile, "I have a place in mind. I'm sure you will like it."
"Are you surprised?"
Dimitri chuckled, shaking his head, "That you got the highest scores? Not at all. I always knew you would be amazing, Roza. You just had to put your mind to it."
I rolled my eyes, "More like be pushed to my limits by a hardass mentor," I teased, poking him on the side.
"It was all for your own good."
"Yeah, yeah. Just admit, you enjoyed it." I continued to eat my fries. We had both ordered burgers and fries, sharing a plate of wings.
Dimitri was indeed a man after my own heart.
The restaurant he took me to was a bar and grill that catered to dhampir serving sizes. He was being such a gentleman, holding doors for me, and even pulled my seat out for me, and I loved every moment of it. He took the seat next to me and pushed the menu to me, telling me to order anything I wanted.
We had received some curious looks when we first arrived, but no one had been brave enough to approach us. Any fears I had about this being awkward were quickly swept away; the ease between us from the academy was still there. It was like riding a bike, interacting with him, teasing him; it was just like before.
I was surprised when he steered the conversation to what happened to me during the months he was gone, asking about my trials.
Dimitri smirked but didn't agree. "What did they make you do for your trial?"
"They tried to make it harder for me," I started, angling myself in my seat to face him more, "Everyone else just had to lead their Moroi through a maze, and that was it. I had to take mine over a bridge with threats on both sides."
He leant in closer, "What did you do?"
"Just some minor property damage," I grinned at the memory, "I cut the rope on the bridge, then climbed up the other side. Apparently, they weren't expecting me to do that, though they didn't even have an idea how to get past it. They just expected that I would figure something out." I complained to him, wishing he had seen it. Dimitri definitely would've pushed for something like that or have encouraged more to test me.
Pride showed in his eyes, "Of course you would figure it out. You're resourceful."
A shadow crossed his face, and I knew his mind slipped back into the past, my own flashing back to my escape from Galina's house. My hand covered his, squeezing it. His eyes moved to mine, the glazed look leaving them as he returned to the present, turning his hand to thread his fingers through mine.
Buzzing from my phone made me scrunch up my nose at the interruption. I was still waiting for Sydney's response, so I unlocked the screen to see the notification. It was an email, except it wasn't from Sydney. It was from Viktoria.
Dimitri was close enough that he could see the name on my screen, his body tensing. I could feel his unease but also his curiosity. "You kept in contact with them?"
I nodded, "Not as much I should have. That was how I got those photos for you. Have you…?"
His eyes dropped to his empty plate, hand slipping from mine. "No." He sat silently for a moment, "You haven't -"
"No. I figured it's not for me to tell them." As much as I would love to tell Olena the good news, it should come from Dimitri. I ducked my head, trying to catch his eyes, "They will be overjoyed when they find out. They all love you a lot." When that didn't get a reaction from him, I tried again, "Yeva probably already knows."
His lips twitched in the ghost of a smile. "I don't doubt it."
"Plus, Sonya would be in a much better mood now that she had the baby. She was always in a mood."
Dimitri huffed a laugh, "Sonya has always been in a mood."
"You know, you should have warned me about Russian vodka. It would have been nice if I knew it was like poison."
"I would have enjoyed seeing you drink it."
I reached for his hand again, "Yeah, well, you can see it next time." The words slipped out before I realised what I was saying, what they implied. But I didn't take them back, not after the happiness they brought Dimitri.
Dimitri sat up straight, changing the subject, "Ready to go?"
I nodded, "Sure. Can we stop by a jewellery store?" At his raised eyebrow, I explained, "I need to buy another bracelet. The one Lissa gave me kind of broke yesterday."
As expected, his concern spiked, "It broke?" His eyes searched my face as if he could see signs of the darkness becoming too much again.
I waved him off, "I'm fine. It doesn't get as bad when I'm with you," I replied shyly. I almost laughed at the satisfaction that gave Dimitri. I swear his chest puffed up a little.
Dimitri wouldn't let me pay for my food, telling me that it was his responsibility because he asked me out. As we were leaving, I decided to surprise him by taking his hand in mine as we walked. This wasn't to help the bond or give me strength to control the darkness, this time, it was just because I wanted to.
The warm smile on his face made it all the more worth it.
We had to go to a couple of stores, but we finally found a bracelet that would work and should be able to withstand a fight. Rather than head straight to Lissa's, Dimitri led us through the gardens at the Court; there weren't too many people about, so it was more private.
As if often does, our conversation became about protecting Lissa. There was still no update from Hans or Abe about the man that attacked yesterday.
"I'm hoping Sydney can find something. It has to be the same person pulling the strings," I told him. I was annoyed at not knowing anything, someone was trying to hurt Lissa, and I needed to find out who.
"Unfortunately, there are a lot of people that it could be."
I sighed, "I know."
"You need to be careful. Whoever it is could be planning another attack, and I would prefer it if you didn't get stabbed again." His tone was light, but there was a fear in his eyes, flicking to my bandaged arm.
I shot him a look, "I know. And that's why you are going to be there as well."
His eyes snapped to mine, confused.
"The Council may be too stupid to see it, but I know you are the best guardian they have here," I replied. Dimitri's skills were being wasted not being a guardian, and I intended to use them.
"Rose, I'm not a guardian anymore," He told me as if I had forgotten.
"Thanks for the reminder, comrade," I replied sarcastically, "You may not be a guardian, but there is nothing saying that you can't be visiting Lissa as a friend. And if there happens to be an attack when you are there, you are just helping the guardians do their job." Honestly, Dimitri shouldn't be surprised by now that I would have some kind of Rose logic for this.
His eyes shined in amusement, "I doubt Guardian Croft will go for that."
I winked at him, "Won't know until we try."
Dimitri grinned. He reached down to the garden, plucking a chamomile flower and then presenting it to me, "I'm happy to offer my assistance, Guardian Hathaway."
At first, Lissa was surprised to see us, but then her eyes narrowed on the flower in my hand and how close we were standing. She kept it off her face, but her mind was almost screaming with her joy.
Having fun, Rose? She asked through the bond, shooting me a look that wanted all the details.
Christian groaned from the kitchen, "Please answer her questions, so she stops doing that!"
Dimitri could guess what Christian was talking about, his face remained blank, but I felt his amusement.
I pointedly ignored them all, "How have things been here?"
Lissa frowned but quickly replaced it with a forced smile, "Fine."
It didn't take much digging to figure out why she wasn't too happy. Because of the attack, it was decided it was easier to protect Lissa and Jill if they were in the same place, and so Jill, along with her parents, were staying in Lissa's two spare rooms. And then, because Emily was concerned, Sonya was staying with Jill in her room and Mikhail sleeping on the couch.
Along with the extra guardians, it was a full house.
Despite it making the house more crowded, Lissa was looking forward to me joining her tomorrow. Christian was happy to keep to himself, and Jill preferred being with her parents. Lissa was left feeling awkward in her own home, unsure of what to do, and with the upcoming announcement to the Council, she was stressed.
"I thought you were meant to be resting today?" Lissa changed the subject, scolding me with a glance at my arm. I could feel her want to heal me, but she knew it would only make matters worse for me.
I side-eyed Dimitri, "Dimitri has been taking care of me." The only response he gave me was a burst of affection. Lissa smirked knowingly. "Also, I need a favour." I held the bracelet out to her, "The one you gave me broke. Kind of hoping for a new one."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "It broke? How?"
"In the fight yesterday."
"Why didn't you say something sooner?" She asked, upset that I kept it from her.
Lissa held a lot of guilt for what the darkness was doing to me; I held no blame towards her. Lissa was my charge and my friend. I was happy to do what I had to to keep her safe, including taking the burden of the darkness.
I shrugged my shoulders, "I needed to get something that wouldn't break first. We went to the store today to find one."
Was that all you two were doing? A glint of intrigue in Lissa's eyes. I don't think anyone was more eager to see Dimitri and I become a couple than Lissa. Other than Dimitri, maybe.
And me.
I kept my face impassive as memories of our date made a giddy feeling rise in me. It wasn't anything extravagant, but it was perfect for Dimitri and me. I had his undivided attention, which was all I had wanted at the academy.
Lissa took the bracelet from me, studying it for a second. "I guess I'll go ask Sonya if she can help me. Did you want to come?"
I shook my head, "I'm going to talk to the guardian I'll be working with, see what the plan is."
Lissa pointed me in the direction of Guardians Andrews; Dimitri recognised the name, which was good. Some guardians were still questioning Dimitri's restoration. If I'm working with someone he is friends with, they will be more likely to allow Dimitri to hang around without question.
Guardian Andrews was completing his perimeter check, entering the kitchen with a look of surprise when his eyes landed on Dimitri, followed by a lopsided grin. Guardian Andrews was tall, over six foot, but Dimitri was at least a head taller; he had light blond hair buzzed short. His face was harsh and intimidating, but once he smiled, there was a playful quality to him.
He held his hand out, "Dimitri, good to see you." There was no prejudice in his tone, and he sounded genuine. "I heard that you're often around the Princess. I was wondering if you were going to show up."
"Yeah, well, I dragged him around today," I joked, nudging Dimitri in the stomach with my elbow. He gave me a fond look though he shook his head at me.
"Sage, this is Rose Hathaway," Dimitri introduced us.
Sage's eyes lit in recognition, "Guardian Hathaway, Hans warned me about you. Though I'm excited to see if everything he said was true," He greeted me with a handshake as he did with Dimitri. His eyes flicked between us with a knowing smirk.
I scowled, wondering what exactly Hans had said. I quickly pushed it aside and tried to keep it professional, "Looking forward to working with you, Guardian Andrews. I wanted to come by and ask what your plans were for guarding Lissa."
Sage didn't react to me referring to Lissa without her title, his eyes shining in approval that I had sought him out for what my orders would be. "Call me Sage, and as for the plan, considering your relationship to the Princess, I want you to act as her near guard at all times. Your shift is from 7 pm to 7 am. For the night shift, Guardian Sables will take over for me at 5 am."
I nodded as he explained the plan, waiting until he was finished before going over the attack from yesterday and the possible threat to Lissa joining the Council. He had been filled in on all the information about Jill and her importance; Sage agreed with me that the events must be connected.
After talking with him for half an hour, I felt much better about him being Lissa's guardian, even gaining some information about Guardian Sables. Dimitri affirmed that he was also a good guardian sensing my unease.
By the time we had finished our discussion, Lissa had returned with a freshly charmed bracelet for me. The darkness hadn't been too bad today, I strongly believed that was due to being with Dimitri the whole day, but I knew I would need the charm to keep it in check. Especially knowing I needed to face my parents soon.
Abe had said my mother wanted to talk to me again, and there was no holding back Janine Hathaway when she had set her mind to it.
"I still can't believe you're going to be my guardian!" Lissa squealed in my ear, arms locked around me in a tight embrace. I knew that the hug was partly because of her excitement but also due to seeing me injured yesterday. The whole event had shaken her; it hadn't helped that I wasn't able to see her straight after.
I squeezed her back with my good arm, "For once, things will go the way we planned," I joked. Many of the plans Lissa and I had for the future had fallen through, or more crashed and burned. But this, me being her guardian, we had wanted this since we became best friends, and we were finally achieving it.
After a moment, I drew back from her. I didn't want to admit it, but my arm was starting to hurt. I hadn't taken anything for the pain today, but the idea of lying in bed and resting for the rest of the evening was very appealing. Not to mention having a few more moments alone with Dimitri.
I held the flower he had given me, twirling the short stem between my fingers. Each time I would look at it, a smile would appear on my face, Dimitri would notice, and a burst of affection would come from him.
Lissa was not missing any of the looks we were sharing; her delight was barely contained. "Well, I look forward to seeing you here tomorrow morning, Guardian Hathaway," She told me with a proud smile, "You can help me work on my speech for the Council."
My smile quickly turned into a grimace, knowing I would hear that speech non-stop. Forcing fake enthusiasm, we said our goodbyes.
Dimitri waited until we were halfway back to the dorms before laughing at my reaction to Lissa. "At least it will be better than desk work."
Standing in front of my door, the light, playful mood changed into something heavier, an intensity in Dimitri's eyes as he gazed down at me. Our bodies gravitated to each other, not realising how close we were until I felt the heat radiating off of him. The love I felt coming through the bond was making me light-headed.
I felt like I was floating.
The rest of the world melted away until there was only Dimitri and me.
My eyes were locked with his, my mouth going dry. I darted my tongue out to lick my lips, Dimitri's eyes following the movement.
"I had a good time," I told him, feeling nerves growing in me, but when looking at Dimitri, I also felt a wave of calm wash over me. My longing for him was almost as strong as his, my mind and heart battling on what I wanted.
Today, we were able to be together without fear of consequences. How I wished we could just fall back into how we were before the attack, to where our relationship was that night in the cabin.
Our love for each other was undoubtedly, and endless一how I craved that again.
Something had changed in Dimitri today; he became lighter. And something changed between us.
I could feel it in the sparks that erupted each time we touched. In the emotions I could feel coming from him. Something shifted, and there was no turning back.
I wanted to reach for him and lose myself in his dark eyes, so full of love that I could drown in it. But I knew that if I gave in, that would be it. I would be giving myself totally to Dimitri and trusting him not to leave me again.
My heart clenched. The memory of the pain he brought me felt like a bucket of cold water. The world came rushing back to me.
I was suddenly aware of how close we were, my chest pressed against his, my face tilted up to his. I quickly stepped back so that we were no longer touching, eyes darting away from his in case I became lost in them again.
I wanted to…
Dimitri noticed my withdrawal, eyebrows furrowing together in confusion as he tried to make sense of my change of heart. Hurt flickered over his eyes, as did understanding.
I wasn't ready to take that next step. I promised myself I wouldn't give in unless he felt the bond as well. Yesterday showed that it was possible, and I know he took my words seriously about forgiving himself.
I couldn't give in yet.
And Dimitri knew that too. He wasn't going to push me, and it just made me love him more.
"Thank you for today, Roza. I'm glad you enjoyed it," He dipped his head to catch my eyes. Moving carefully, gauging my reaction, his hand took mine, lifting it to his lips to press the softest of kisses to my knuckles. "I love you."
My breath caught at his whispered words. His touch was like sparks of electricity, making my hand feel tingly. It took a moment for me to reply, my voice sounding breathless, "Thank you, Dimitri."
The smile he gave me was small but sweet and caring. "Goodnight, Roza."
Again, he waited until I had unlocked and opened my door before doing the same with his. I risked a glance back at him before I closed my door, that smile still aimed at me.
I locked my door behind me, my body falling back against it. The hand he had kissed rested over my heart, feeling how quickly it was beating in my chest as I tried to calm my breathing. My words echoed in the quiet confines of my room, words I wanted to say back to him.
"I love you too."
Did I mention this is a slow burn... haha
Slowly getting there :D
