Both lying on their massive bed, the light blue sheet barely covering their almost unclothed and bare skin. His arms were shrouding her waist. He remained in that soothing moment, only listening to her, inhaling and exhaling steadily, feeling her warm and sweet breath on his face.
"You're brooding. I thought it was my thing." he said quietly, just as loud as a caring whisper.
"I'm not brooding, I'm sleeping." She murmured just as silently, her eyes remaining peacefully closed.
"No you're not, your eyebrow is almost indistinctly frowned and your mouth is closed." He spoke softly as he reached a finger to her lips. "If you'd be sleeping, it'd be slightly open."
"I think you've watched me sleep too much, it's not healthy." She said, hardly audible.
He smiled at the comment, physically so close to her. "It's romantic."
"It's stalkerish."
"I'm your husband, I can watch you as much as I want." He answered back in the same light tone he was using few seconds before. He let his fingers stroke slightly her face, stopping at her lips. "Come on, show me your smile." He said, tenderness and fondness filled in his voice.
The sweet hazel color of her eyes sparkled in the darkness of the room as her eyelids finally fluttered, feeling herself get drowned into him as soon as she looked in the capturing crystal blue color. "How do you want me to smile?" her voice still low and serious.
"It's easy, let me show you. Liiiike that." He said light-hearted, stretching playfully her cheeks to form a smile on her face.
"Luke, I'm serious." She whimpered, placing her hands on his that were still on her cheeks, the hazel and the blue color of their eyes still melting together in an unlocked look.
"That's the point, you're too serious. Come on, let's wake the kids up, make chocolate statues, eat them all and being all hung over tomorrow morning." He finished telling her by placing sweetly a kiss on her nose.
"How can you joke around like that and be all bubbly?" the gravity not leaving her face and obviously not succumbing to Lucas' loving sweetness.
"I don't know, I guess someone needs to be, since Queen B. Happy is apparently gone for the week end." He said, feeling her move slightly her head to give him one of those cute exasperated sigh. "I just wanna cheer things up, I hate when you're sad like that." he said, gently tucking behind her ears the hair he's played with for so long.
"Well, there are some pretty good reasons for that, don't you think?" she whispered, savoring the sensation of his tender hand that still lingers on the side of her head.
"I know there are." he said, his tone leaving for a brief moment its cheerfulness for the first time that night. "But we could, I don't know, throw paint balloons in Hales and Nate's yard and TPing Peyt and Jake's house. Plus it's past 11pm, nobody will know it's us this time." He joked, instantly going back to his playful mood.
"I'm not really in the mood for any of that right now." She said in an undertone.
"Look, I just want things to be normal for a day. It's been a week now, I think I've let you mope for long enough." He said, concern filling his voice. He blew delicately on her forehead and placed sweetly his lips on it.
"Nah, I wanna mope and sulk and pine away some more. I have the right to be." She adorably moaned, burying her face in his neck.
"Well you can try but I'll find a way to make you smile, you'll see." He smiled, holding her even tighter in his arms, caressing her bare spine.
"You don't have to be strong, Luke." she said weaker than she intended it, feeling herself break even more than she already is. "You can stop being like this. It's just me, you know. You can break down in front of me." she finished, sensing the tears slowly coming.
"That's why I don't. You're already having a hard time not tearing up when you look at me, you don't need me crying, too."
Breaking the embrace to meet intensively his eyes, "That's exactly what I need." She uttered, firmly and steadily. "I need you to open to me, to talk to me. And I mean really talk to me," taking his cheek in her hand to turn his face to her when she felt him moving his head to avoid her glance, "not the junk you've been saying to me for the past week. I know you wanna keep me from the pain and tears, but you can't. I'm already hurting," her solid tone long gone to be replaced by her trembling voice, "and you're not helping by pretending everything's okay when it's not."
"Yeah but I don't want you to worry about me."
"Of course I worry about you. You're everything to me, and I feel like I'm losing you, more than I already am."
Tilting her face to make sure her eyes were staring at his, "You're not losing me, Brooke. I'm here." He assured, his voice secure and confident.
"You're not, Lucas." She murmured brokenly.
"Lucas?" he asked astonished, narrowing his eyes in surprise. "Where does that come from? You practically never call me like that, except when you're mad or when you tell me you love me. And I know it's not the last suggestion."
She smiled, "I'm not mad. I'm far from being mad, don't worry." She reassured softly.
She let her hand grazing sensitively the features of the face she needs so much. She loosely ran the tip of her fingers on his soft eyebrow and let it slide unhurriedly on the side of his face. "It's okay to cry, you know. You can cry on me, I'm here for that." She said, breaking the intimate moment with the soft whisper.
He breathed deeply, slowly opening his eyes that remained closed as her hand were traveling his skin. "You're amazing, you know that." He sighed.
"Luke…"
He reached a finger to her lips to silence her and continued, "I'm serious. I don't know what I'd have been without you." Gliding leisurely his hand from her delicate face to her exquisite side and finally place it on her petite waist.
She heaved a long sigh, "You'd probably be a really sad brooding drug-addict hooker trading his soul for some coke and heroin." She replied keeping her straight and fake serious face.
"Thank God you saved me from that life. I don't think debauchery would have really suited with my pretty tan." He said, his face lightening as he saw and felt her smile in his arms. "I really missed your dimples when you smile this week, you know." he said with a certain seriousness. "You should show them off more often from now on. Can you do that for me?" his voice as fond and warm as the hands that were delicately tracing the line of the cleft of her cheeks.
"I'll try." She said, nestling herself even more against his body.
"Promise?" he asked cheerfully as he felt her nod against his chest. "Pinky swears?"
"Oh God, I think my husband is turning into my daughter." She laughed, parting slightly herself from him to take his pinky finger with hers, and kiss it playfully.
"Maybe I'll be as pretty as her." He said hopeful, smiling to himself at the light atmosphere that has been settled in the room.
"Nah, that's not really possible. She's too cute for words."
"Oh I know, she's just like you with her pouty mouth when she begs for some extra cookies. I fall more in love with her and her shading hazel eyes everyday."
"Tell me about it, Holden has your baby eyes and your brightness. Once he's through with his nakedness phase, he's gonna break some hearts at school."
"Both features he's got from you." He muttered, as he snuggled deeper in their embrace, his head now resting on her breasts.
Their bodies intertwined, they remained like that in their haven for the longest time, faintly moving with their silent breathing, their skin sensually in tune. Her fingers were running in the blonde strands of his hair, his tracing symbols on her back neck.
"What are we gonna tell them?" she asked, her voice reverting back its gravity.
"The truth, I guess. They're smart, they're gonna understand."
"You think?" she said, taking his face with her petite hands and lifted it from her chest. "I barely can, and I've known it for awhile."
"Brooke…"
"I don't understand." Her voice falling apart. She lifted herself to sit up. "Why is that happening to you, to us? We were having a great life, and now – now everything's just shattering around us." She choked out, finding harder to manage to speak through her cries.
"Hey, we still have the kids, and you still have me." He whispered as he kissed her tears away. He then placed her head on his torso, resting his chin on it and held her tightly, trying to make the pain fading away.
"But you're leaving me." She murmured, her eyes now pouring uncontrollably on his chest. "You're leaving me." She brokenly repeated.
"I'm not leaving now." He whispered to her ear. "Two, three years is very far from now." He said, trying his best to sound strong as he felt his heart wrench at the sight of her break down.
"But you will." she cried, reluctantly breaking away from him as she dried her cheeks with the back of her hands. "You were supposed to stay with me longer than that, like – my whole life." She choked back a painful lament. "I hate all of this. I hate that you had to go through that, I hate that it's happening to you, I hate that I can't help you. And worst of all, I hate having to tell the kids they're gonna lose their father. I hate having to think I'm gonna lose my husband."
He shrouded his arms from behind her, his hands joining together on her breasts, posing his cheek on hers as he pressed his chest on her back, "I don't want you to think about it now. I just want you to be okay for now." He said.
"How can I be okay? You're dying, Lucas!" She let out a loud cry, sounding more like a broken shout, her figure quivering.
Silence has never been so sharp, it has never been so painful to them like it was at this moment. She could feel his heart pounding loudly on her back and he could sense the beat of her heart underneath his hands. He was feeling her trembling beneath his embrace and rocked her for a while, blowing warmly on her neck and placing butterfly kisses on her bare shoulder to try to appease her weeps. When he ceased feeling her tears dropping on his arm, he rested his lips on her neck. She placed a hand on his that were still covering protectively her breasts, still leaning back onto his chest.
"Finally." He murmured after a moment.
"What?" she asked, as quiet as his murmur.
"You finally say the words. You haven't before." He paused. "You yelled, you broke down, you brooded, you cried, you threw some things out of the windows and eventually at me but you've never said it." he finished, his voice calm.
"I know." She whispered back, closing her tired eyes, tears unstoppably flowing.
"You're ready to talk about it now?"
She gently broke away from his arms to face him and look into his teary eyes, intertwining her fingers with his. She looked down at their hands, hers tracing unconsciously circles on his knuckles and smiled sadly. She placed a sweet kiss on his backhand and kept playing with his fingers.
"You know, sometimes, I've asked myself what I'd do if one day I'd go blind or deaf, or if I'd lose an arm or a leg. You know, all those kinds of life-changing things." She said, still looking down at their attached hands. "But I've never thought what my life would be if I lose you. I just can't."
"You'll learn."
"I don't want to." She said utterly, finally looking up to meet his eyes. "I love our life. I don't want you to leave it." She continued, the shade of sorrow in her voice overcoming the sudden strength her tone had gained few moments before.
"Brooke, everything's gonna be okay." He said confidently, his hands long gone from hers, now holding her face straight to make her look at him into his eyes. "You're strong. You'll have a good life. I know you will. It won't be for awhile but I promise you, you're gonna be fine."
"I don't wanna be fine, I wanna be with you." She cried hopelessly, nestling her cheeks even more in his hands.
"And you are. I'm gonna stick around here for a little more, you know." He said gently, squeezing softly her cheeks.
"That's not enough for me. I want you forever."
"You have me, Brooke." He said, feeling her warm tears pouring on his hands.
"But I don't want you to leave me. What am I gonna do without you? What about the kids?" He heard her helplessly voice, breaking even more as seconds flow.
"They'll have you. I'm sure they're gonna be great."
"They need their father. I need their father." She cried, wiping away the tears that were blurring her vision. "I can't do it alone." She finished painfully, feeling herself quivering.
"You can and you will, Brooke, I promise." He started, holding her shoulder firmly to make her listen to his words. "It's gonna be hard for awhile but you're strong, and I believe you'll make it. I'm not worried about that." His voice softening as he smiled at her, caressing the sweet skin of her collarbone with the tip of his fingers. "It might be the end for me, but it's not yours."
"It doesn't feel like it to me." She whispered brokenly. She placed her hand above his, that was still above her chest, and pulled him to her to make him feel closer to her.
He threw himself into her, his arms shrouding her frenetically, their physical closeness equaling the weigh of their intimacy that has overcome him. He leaned toward her ears, "Don't say that, Brooke. Your life doesn't end here with me."
"How can you say that?" He heard her say, feeling her body shaking under him.
Still holding her tight, "You're the strongest woman in my life." He said fondly as he squeezed her shoulders. "I believe you can do anything because you've always fought for what you wanted. This won't change."
"But that's not what I want." She nestled her head deeper in his shoulder, trying to catch her breath. He felt her lips quivering against his skin as her warm tears were rolling onto his back. "I don't want to live my life if you're not a part of it, and think this is fine. It can't be." She shook her head as she broke away from the embrace. "I won't have you, that's too much I can take." She managed to say through her sobs.
"But I won't be gone. Not completely." He said as he rested his forehead on hers. "You'll just have to look at the kids. I'll live through them and the memories. I want you to have a great life." When he felt her moving to protest, he gently silenced her by cupping her face in his hands, "I want you to promise me you'll keep going. You did it for me when we lost the baby, you'll do it again. For Holden and Ros'." He paused. "For us." He whispered. She looked up at him and smiled.
She closes her eyes, smiling truthfully and genuinely, as she let herself dipping into the memory and sighed. "You'll be my Heart-Catcher. And I will remember this moment of you." She quoted in a dreamy voice. "12 years later I still think about that day. I still remember. It was a Monday and you were shaking of cold, all cute with your quivering but so kissable lips and - "
"And I gave you our book." He finished for her.
She smiled, tilting her head. "You made me fall in love with it." She whispered amorously to him. "The Heart-catcher."
"I think you just love the name." He grabbed her hands and nestled into them. "I remember you even wanted me to change my name for Holden." He mumbled against her palms.
"I was so naïve back then" She paused, smiling sheepishly. "I didn't know it would've been even prettier on our son." She finished, arching her eyebrow wickedly.
"Come here." He smiled as he pulled her to him, making them both fall back on the bed.
As he laid on his back, her on top of him, he felt her mustering all the remaining might she had left to hold him. Her soft auburn hair was spread all over his chest and face, the delicate and precious strawberry scent flushing his senses. He let his fingers find their natural way to her hair and caressed it for the longest time. He felt her move slightly to start trailing butterfly kisses on his torso, her fingers running where her lips moistened. Her hands slid slowly from his chest to his neck, her tongue following their path. Reaching his face, she caressed his jaw line with her delicious lips. With his eyes closed and his hands running down her bare back, she lifted her head lightly after nibbling sensually his ears, and kisses him on the lips. It was soft and tender, until her tongue started to trace the outline of his mouth.
She looked up at him, their forehead grazing, "Hold me. Just hold me." She simply whispered, never breaking her intense gaze from his ocean eyes.
Her hands slipped between his back and mattress to get a hold of his shoulders and started to kiss him again, this time passionately, fiercely. While she was biting his swollen, lower lip, he rolled them over quietly so that she was underneath his body, still clutching strongly onto his back. He shifted himself on one of his elbows not to weigh her with his body, looking so vulnerable with her petite frame in his arms.
She was purely beautiful beneath him. The soft feature of her face has always been subject of amazement to him. Her beauty concentrated on her dashing lips forming the mesmerizing dimples. He placed sugary kisses on each of them as he let his hands sensually running down her graceful neck, gradually reaching her breasts and traced the contours of her perfect curves, lowering his head to blow warmly on the thin skin of her chest. Quaking openly under his touch, she positioned him completely on her, feeling his entire body pressed against her. As she curled her legs up along his waist, her fingers wandered down the line of his spine, feeling him catching his breath along with the shivers she was provoking on him with her simple gesture.
His tongue was melting on hers as she arched her back to feel him closer to him. His lips left an empty void when they left hers, she dipped her head into his shoulders as the humid trails his mouth were leaving on her neck started to melt with the sweat their embraced bodies were generating. She grasped his waist tighter with her legs when she felt his tongue slithers in between her breasts. His hands caressing voluptuously her pelvic bone, he traced humidly the contour of the only piece of cloth that was separating them with his tongue, feeling her body trembling beneath him.
She sensed herself being overcome by the heaviness of the moment all of a sudden. Her sentiments grew possessive as oppressive cries were dangerously verging her heart. His tantalizing butterfly kisses became somewhat tentative yet, sultry. She grabs a hold of the back of his damp neck as he hovered himself on her and tears soon replaced the sweat on her cheeks. He was pinning her body to his though she doesn't realize his weightiness. All she could process was his serious movements, his lips posed on the crook of her neck, slightly above her sensual collarbone. Wouldn't it be for the moistened drops spilling onto on her and his quivers of emotional pain, she would think his raging and uneven breathing was appeasing her skin.
"Goodnight, Lucas."
