Memory

By: DracoPotterMalfoy-JackEnnisDelMar

Rating: R

Pairing: Jack/Ennis

Genre: Angst/Romance

Warning: This story will contain slash (ie. male/male relationships) and some mild- heavy sex scenes.

A/N: Holy Shit, I had no idea in my wildest dreams that I was going to get that many reviews again from my readers. I really want to thank you all for reviewing, you really have no idea how much it means to me when you leave your feedback. Well I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as the last. Guys, this chapter really hurt me to write, after having to actually live through this then writing it, really brings up past emotions, and I can tell you how long I stay up into the night crying my self to sleep. Yes my husband/partner and I managed to make it through his memory loss, but I tell you it was really hard doing so. Lucky enough we had pictures, and he wrote things down in a journal, and I took him to special places that we had. It took us awhile to finally get his memory back, and even now he still has hard times remembering things from long ago, he knows he lived it, but it just doesn't seem like he did. So just know, that story is based on true events in my life. Well enough about this, I really do hope that you all enjoy this chapter.

"My Only One"

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up
And I give up
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

That whole night Jack wasn't able to sleep. Once he was done letting go of his emotions he gathered himself off the floor and headed to the spare bedroom. He laid down on top of the covers and stared at the ceiling. Memories of his past flowed through his mind like a running river. Days of when he had first met the blond cowboy, and how they made love their first time, when Ennis came to him seeking comfort and love the same day they had talked about that it was no one's business but theirs. He also remembered standing by the campfire trying not to fall asleep, and strong arms wrap around his body and being pulled against a strong chest. He remembered clearly the song Ennis sang to him while he held him. He also remembered the day when Ennis called him up and told him about his and Alma's divorce, and him driving sixteen hours just to see the blond man. Jack never regretted anything in his life, not a single day, but all he could thing about now is not really appreciating the times he and Ennis had together. Yea Jack knew he loved being with Ennis, and the time he spent with his love, but when you think about it you never really notice how much you will miss something until it is taken away from you. Now Jack laid there, alone in his bed, trying to figure out how he could help the man that made everything worth living. Jack remembered something from the book he was reading, how the man read a handwritten book to a woman about two lovers past, a past in which things slowly began to become clearer to her as she slowly remembered that it was her in that story and the man that was reading to her was really the love of her life. 'My god Ennis,' Jack thought, 'I wish that you had written about us, anything that could possibly help you remember.' Just as sleep was about to take over the dark haired man, he suddenly sat bolt straight in his bed. Something suddenly made him realized that hope was not all lost. Jack quickly got out of the bed and walked over to the door and silently walked out and walked into the bedroom in which the blond man slept. Jack was silently praying that Ennis had not moved the item in which he was searching for. Tiptoeing across the room to Ennis dresser, he crouched down and opened the bottom drawer. After searching around for a few minutes he felt something leather swipe across the tips of his fingers, he grasped the object and pulled out the leather bound book.

"Well I'll be god dammed," Jack whispered under his breath.

Jack quickly left the room silently and went back into his makeshift room. Once he was back on the bed he opened the book to the first cover and read to himself the title Ennis had written, 'Love is a Force of Nature, My love for Jack Twist'. Jack felt his heart clench after reading those words. 'How come he never let me see this, I caught him writing in it once, but he never once showed it to me' he thought as the turned the page. On the next page was a little note written:

My Darlin' Rodeo,

If you are reading this it means one of two things: The first, God had finally taken his punishment out against me. I know you don' believe that an all but it's the only explanation that I got for it, or the second is where I freely let you read it. The reason I have written this little journal type things is because of a nightmare I have had over and over ever since we got together and married. Well what happens to me is that I wake up one day and I can't remember anything about my life; you, Junior, or the ranch, it seems like my entire life was wiped clean, and all I had to go on were little familiar feelings. Well I got really scared of it, and I thought it could happen one day, so I decided to write everything that has happened between the two of us. Rodeo, please know that I will always love you, even if I don't remember it, my love for you will always be locked away safely in my heart, and the one thing that will open it is you, for you are key to my heart and soul, and only you will be able to bring me back from where ever it is. So use this book, in what ever way you see fit, just bring me back to your loving arms because I don't know how long I'll be able to stand not being there. Just know that I will come back to you, as long as you are there waiting to hold me tight.

Your are My Only One Jack,

Love, Ennis

Tears were streaming down Jack face once he was done reading the note to him. Clutching the book to his chest, he silently vowed to the man sleeping that he would do what ever it took to finally bring him back because he had no idea how he would live his life without him.

A/N: Ok guys, please don't be mad at me, but it was necessary for this chapter to be a little shorter. I really only wanted to show how Jack was feeling, and I hope that I managed to show you how hard it was for me when I went through this; I managed for Jack to find the thing that will help him bring Ennis back (hopefully) and I'm hoping that I was able to place you all there. And if I had to write this on paper, I believe that it would be all spotted from tear stains, hell I'm surprised that my keyboard still works. Well like always please leave me a review and tell me what you all think; did I manage to put you in that place, it really helps me to know what you are all thinking, so please review and let me know, Thanks.