Disclaimer: okay a poem is by Natalie its called hate or love then there is just maybe written by me and the song is by Keith urban
Part Four
The poem isn't mine it's written by Natalie and its called Hate or Love, Thankies to Nat for writing it ur awesome and I luv ya! The song is called tonight I wanna cry by Keith Urban.
there is another poem just maybe written by me Hope you guys like this chapter!
I hate the way you make me cry.
The way you break my heart.
I hate it how we said goodbye.
Why did we have to part?
I hate the way you walk.
The way it makes me stare.
I hate the way we don't talk .
The way it's so unfair.
I hate the way I feel.
The way you make me whole.
I hate the way my heart won't heal.
I hate the way you burn my soul.
I hate the way you didn't stay.
The way you catch me when I fall.
But most of all I hate the way;
I don't hate you at all.
Susie ran through the rain, she didn't want to stop, she was wet and her make up was running down her delicate face. She just had to get out of there. Her mind reeling with memorise of the past, Brad, Her family, Her friends, the first day she arrived in Mount Thomas, the fun times she had with Jo, Jonesy everyone, The dates with Jonesy, the laughter, the conversations and their disaster stories. She also remembered the not so good times, the relationships she had with Ben, Alex and Jason. They were all memorise stuck in her mind, but the most freshest memorise, the one she wanted to forget the most is the Kiss, The kiss between Amy and Jonesy.
Susie was still running and crying harder than ever before. She wasn't running to anywhere in particular, she was just running!
'Alex, I need to go after her!' Jonesy yelled
'mate, just leave her, she needs to be by herself for a while plus going after her will achieve nothing'
'yeh, I guess so'
'here you go' Amy said handing Jonesy a coffee
'thanks'
Alex just looked at them
'I don't see why Susie had to run off like that, come on it was just a kiss' Amy said
'but Susie didn't see it as just a kiss did she' Jonesy replied
' I think Susie needs to grow up'
'Amy, She was hurt, you would probably do the same thing, if you saw the person you loved kissing another women' alex said
'but that's just it, I wouldn't run off'
' You –'
'because I wouldn't love someone' Amy cut in
'you don't know that'
'yes I do'
'No----
'Alex guys are idiots so why would I fall in love with one of them'
' I see your point and I forgot your not human are you'
'guys would you just shut up!' Jonesy yelled
Alone
in this house again tonight
I got the TV on, the sound turned down
and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls
around me
The way that it was and could have been surrounds
me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
Susie finally stopped running, she turned to face the house she stopped outside of, looked at it and realised that the house that belonged to Pj, which now belongs o her. The house that Evan Jones lives in, the man she truly loves. That man that she thought loved her and ; the man that kissed Amy Fox.
I've never been
the kind to ever let my feelings show
And I thought that bein'
strong meant never losin' your self-control
But I'm just drunk
enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall
like rain
From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Susie was standing there; on the street just staring at the house, when a car pulled u. someone got out, so , Susie turned to see who it was. It was Jonesy and Alex,
'suse.' Jonsey said rushing towards her
'Don't, Just don't!' Susie said stepping away
'suse, I just want to explain'
'No, Jonesy I'm sick of you wanting to explain' with that Susie turned and ran away.
She ran home, when she got there she got a glass of wine and sat on the lounge and started drinking.
She always thought that it was stupid drinking when something bad happened, she had never before gotten drunk over something like this and she promised herself she wouldn't, she didn't care, no anymore.
Everything was becoming a wreck, she just wanted to die.
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
"All By Myself"
would sure hit me hard now that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some
old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets
better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
Maybe I'm the one who was at fault,
Maybe I shouldn't have run.
Maybe it's the way its meant to be,
Maybe there is no you and me.
20th February 1990
Sometimes I feel that I shouldn't be here, I don't belong. I sit here in the same room as them, they say. They don't care. They don't even notice me; they don't listen to what I have to say. They don't care. Each day I'll become more silent, see if the notice me. Mum says that I'm always too loud, and if I tell I have a headache or something she'll say its because I'm always being stupid and loud. She doesn't go to my school she's not with me all the time she wouldn't know she'll regret that now! Hopefully.
Susie sat there drinking her wine, she glanced over to her book shelf she saw a photo album, she got up and walked over and grabbed it and sat back down. She slowly opened it , there were pictures of her and brad, her family, school friends, she got near the end of the album when se came across a photo of her and Jonesy the were looking into each others eyes, the looked like nothing in the world could separate them.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me(Next Day)
"mate wake up
Jonesy felt someone tugging at him
"Jonesy" Alex said tugging again
"go away!" Jonesy yelled and rolled over
"mate you'll be late for work"
"Alex piss off"
"fine, you can get yelled at by Amy see if I care"
The room was quiet for a few minutes then suddenly Jonesy felt a Sharpe pain
"Bloody hell Alex, why in the hell did you have to jump on me?"
"Well it's the only way I know your awake! Now get up"
"I told you I don't want to get up, I just want to sleep!"
"Mate ---
"Alex, just leave me alone"
"Alright, I guess this is your stupid way of dealing with it"
"Dealing with what?"
"Mate, sometimes your seriously Blonde"
"Alex! I want to sleep okay!"
"Okay okay, just stare at that picture too much!" Alex said looking t the picture on Jonesy bedside table.
Jonesy looked up to see what picture Alex was talking about, the picture was of himself and Susie at the pub one night, Jo had just gotten a new camera and insisted that she take a picture of him and Susie
"Alex this has nothing to do with me and Susie"
" sure sure mate, I'm off to work" Alex left the house and Jonesy went back to sleep, an hour later he woke up to the sound of the phone.
"hello" Jonsey answered half a sleep
" Evan! Where are you?" Amy asked
"huh?"
"you were supposed to be here an hour ago!"
"sorry slept in"
"okay, just hurry up and get here"
Maybe I should go,
Maybe I should stay.
Maybe there's another life,
Maybe were meant to be.
(At Station)
It was really quiet at the station. Matt and joss were out on patrol. Susie, Kelly and Alex were at there desks, tom was in his office and Amy was out on a case.
"Jonesy, glad you could make it to work on this lovely afternoon"
"yeah yeah I know I'm late and it still before 12"
"yeah and Amy isn't in a good mood" Kelly piped up
"isn't that right suse?"
"yeah, " Susie replied half heartedly
"these summonses need delivering" Susie said as she got up.
"need any help?" Kelly asked
"no ill be right"
As Susie went to grab the keys she accidentally brushed her arm against Jonesy, she felt a cold shiver down her spine.
"was it something I said?" Kelly asked
"Nah, imp sure shes just tired" Alex replied looking at Jonesy.
Jonesy was sitting at his desk when Amy arrived back at work
"jones, in here" Amy said
"mm"
you were late
"yes I know, I slept in"
"well that's not a good enough, I know your having problems with Susie but that's no excuse"
"Amy" Jonesy said closing the door so no-one could hear
"me being late for work has nothing to do with Susie: okay"
"fine"
"good" with that Jonesy left the CI office and went into the mess room, Alex was in there having his lunch.
"hey mate"
" Hey Alex"
" what you doing?"
" not much. Amy just had a go at me for being late, she reckons its because of suse"
"well it's a bit obvious, mate you have and argument last nite then you don't want to get up in the morning"
"Alex I was tired, it has nothing to do with Susie or Amy for that matter"
"okay mate, ease up"
"easy for you to say!" Jonesy then left the mess room, down the corridor and outside
"mate" Alex called out to him
"Alex" Susie said walking into the mess room
"yes suse"
" I need sometime off"
"when, why?"
"the rest of this week"
"why?"
"because, my brother wants me to visit him"
"suse, we need you here"
"no you don't, its just ur excuse to keep me here so you can get Jonesy and I talking again. Please Alex I need to get away"
"fine, but I'll have to get the boss' approval"
"thankyou
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me.
The next day wasn't very eventful everyone were mainly doing paper work. Susie wasn't there no one except Alex and the boos knew she was having sometime off. Later that day when there shifts were over the heelers headed down to the imperial
"hey guys wanna join matt and I in game of pool" joss asked
"ah no thanks" Alex replied
"ill sit this one out mate" Jonesy said
"what about you kel?"
"okay" so the three went and played pool.
"hey Chrissy, can we please have another round?" Alex asked
"sure"
Jonesy and Alex sat on the stools at the bar.
"So Alex where's suse?" Chris asked
"oh she went away" Alex said trying not to look att Jonesy
"where'd she go?" Jonesy asked
"away"
"where, when did she leave?"
"um, today I guess"
"you guess"
"yeah she came to me yesterday asking for some leave"
"what and you let her?"
"yeah, of course"
"what you didn't try to stop her from going?"
"Jonesy its not like she's going forever!"
Maybe I'm gonna survive,
Maybe I'll find a new love.
Maybe it's better this way,
Maybe we should just be friends.
Susie was heading into Melbourne se saw the lights of the beautiful city, she loved it although she loved home more. I couldn't stay there but why did I have to run? Susie thought to herself, why did she always do this when something got to hard for her to handle she ran, stupid, she loved him so much and she probably should have told she was going away but she couldn't speak to him she couldn't even look at him or be in the same room. Thought flowing threw her mind she pulled in the drive of her childhood home the place she felt comfort, safe, she didn't always feel loved her but it was her home and she loved it just like she loved Mt Thomas.
"Susie, darling"
"Dad!"
"how is my little angel?"
"she's fine, a bit tired though"
"suse, come here and give your mother a hug"
"mum"
Susie walked over to where her mother was standing and gave her a hug.
"Susie my girl, your thin are you not eating?"
"mum I'm fine and yes I am eating okay"
"well you don't seem it are you okay?"
"yes, mum I'm fine, like I said to dad I'm just a bit tired that's all"
"okay come inside and well get you settled and have some coffee"
so Susie and her mother and father entered the house. Susie took in the warmth and the smell she loved, the house always smelt like fresh baked cookies or mud cake.
"suse!" Susie heard someone call her name
"Tyson, what are you doing here?"
"just visiting mum and dad what are you dong here?"
"oh just visiting, got some time off work."
"awesome, I want you to meet someone"
"oh okay who?"
"Susie this is my fiancé Claire."
"oh hi "
"hi, ive heard so much about yo Susie"
"oh really, I haven't heard anything about you"
"that's because you never call me suse" Tyson butted in.
"you never call me"
"okay children stop arguing"
"mum were not kids"
"okay I'm sorry, Claire these two couldn't stand being in the same room as each other cause they were always fighting"
"mum!"
"I'm sorry Tyson darling"
they all walked into the living room and sat down, Tyson and Claire sat on the same lounge and the were hugging each other Susie was sitting in another lounge chair watching them.
"so Susie, is it true that guys in uniform and hot?" Claire asked Susie
"Claire" Tyson said
"imp just wondering, Susie"
"um, depends what type of guy your into"
"I hear there's one guy that your quiet keen one"
"um" Susie just looked at Claire
"she means Evan, dear Evan"
"oh, he's my friend, that's all"
"weren't you to together at one stage?"
"um, yeah but that was ages ago"
"oh okay,"
Susie just smiled at Claire and Tyson, they soon shared a passionate kiss, and it reminded her of herself and Jonesy.
"so suse"
"mm"
"hows work going?" her father asked
"alright"
"just alright?"
"yep"
"is there something going on at work?"
"nope"
"sure"
"yep"
"positive"
"haha"
"stop giving dad one word answers sis"
"sorry"
"are you sure your alright honey?"
"dad imp fine okay"
Susie's brother and fiancé shared another kiss and this time Susie just had to get away. So she got up and walked out of the room upstairs to her bedroom, where she laid one her bed thinking of Jonesy and the kiss and the fight they had, and how much she missed him and how much she longed to be with him. She stared crying, deep silent sobs. She didn't hear the door of her room open her father walked in.
"Susie, darling, what's wrong?"
"nothing dad everything is fine"
Susie's mobile started ringing again for the 5th time that evening, and screen read Jonesy.
"aren't you going to answer that?"
"no its probably just work."
"I thought you got time off"
"I did"
"then why would the why be ringing you?"
"I don't know"
Susie's father then picked the phone up off the bedside table and read who was calling.
"Jonesy, isn't he the guy you went out with for a little while"
"I was like a week dad."
"so you still went out with him"
"it was a total disaster"
"why?"
"you don't want to know"
"Susie I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know"
"you'll hate me"
"no I wont, please just tell me"
so Susie told her father about everything that happened sleeping with Alex, Jonesy punching Alex, Susie messing Jonesy's life around and yell at Jonesy and regretting the words that came out the next day. By the time Susie finished talking she was in tears again.
"oh suse, everyone makes mistakes"
"why do I always make big ones and every time I get close to Jonesy I hurt him or something happens" Susie hadn't told her father about the kiss Amy and Jonesy shared just a few days before.
"how long ago were you two engaged?"
"6 months ago"
"I don't get it Suse, why are you still this upset about it?"
"I'm not upset about the whole engagement thing"
"Then what?"
"well, the other day I walked in on Jonesy and Amy kissing"
"oh, Susie"
Susie's father hugged her really tight.
Just let it go,
Just let it be.
Just carry on as normal,
Just pretend there was never you and me
