A/n: It is official, I now own the same eight ball as mentioned in this chapter. I seemed to have miss placed it though... Wait a minute, maybe Kira's new eight ball is actually mine and he stole it from me! That big meanie! Disclaimer please, Cagalli!

Cagalli: he owns the eightball, not the show, get it right people!

Me: Cagalli are you PMSing?

Cagalli: NO, WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU ASK THAT?

Me: Athrun, take your girlfriend to the hospital/insane asylum. Lacus has a good recommendation for one!

Cagalli: I DO NOT NEED TO GO TO A... OOH IS THAT A BIRDIE?

Me: Athrun, quickly before she molests the remote!

Athrun: I am coming, it is just... HOLY SHIT COMMANDER, SHE REALLY IS INSANE! That or she's drunk... again.

Me: I don't want to know, just on the fic!


Eight-Ball the Second and God the Emo Bag of Chicken POO!

Kira was sitting on the toilet for no apparent reason. He was just there, and so was Dearka, which made it awkward.

"Get out, or I'll yell!" Yelled Kira. Dearka left becuase he had to help Yzak in the garden.

Kira decided to help as well, but he couldn't keep his eyes off of the chicken poo, and so he ate it.

"You jerk, now I have to go buy more!" sulked Yzak, but then he began to sing and dance the happy-happy-joy-joy dance.

Dearka stared at him. Kira felt full so he decided to go shopping, and he knew what for...


Inside the house however, the news was on and reports of an aeroplane crash were reported.

"A man named Mu La Flaga died" the reporter reported. Murrue suddenly became not dead.

"That BASTA--" Murrue yelled from her grave in the backyard.

"Murrue, not so vulgar and go back to being dead!" yelled Natarle. But Super Murrue became alive again (YAY). And Natarle died (BOO) again. But Cagalli was too busy to notice. She was looking at Athrun's sexy butt in the mirror. Or maybe it was her won, but we couldn't tell because Nicol blocked the view.

"NICOL?" Everyone yelled ('cept Natarle, 'cause she was dead)

"Yes!" said Nicol. "God the Emo bag of Chicken POO granted me a second chance at life!" Then Nicol's fangirls glomped him. So he drove them off a cliff. Poor Nicol, but he will be back... as they say, all cats have nine lives.

"But Nicol isn't a cat!" Lacus said slowly, looking at her RSPCA application form. He is now!

"Lacus, the RSPCA is in Australia, so is the fanfic author, but no offense, you live in Japan" Kira yelled as if it was the most normal thing in the world. He also said it slowly, 'cause Lacus is retarded.

"I know... but I will still join!" and then Lacus joined the dark said 'cause they had cookies. The evil Lacus then joined Nicol's fangirls. Over the cliff (which is still next door, BTW)


Yzak stopped singing, he thought he heard a rocket launching. He did. He sighed and began to sing again. "One is the loneliest number..." he began. The rocket was Dearka, going to the moon, to be the first man on the moon. Or the first idiot, ask Miriallia (:.mental note.: must remember to ask Miriallia).

As Dearka was rocketing past Mars in his rocket (and thinking he made a wrong turn at Uranus) he saw lots of Haro's. Mr. Pink was there too.

"AAH! Mr. Pink has gone plaid!" Dearka screamed and jumped out a window.

"Idiot!" Muttered Cagalli. "In space no one will see you jump out a window in a windowless vehicle"

Athrun was playing the piano on the rocket with Dearka.

"Idiot!" muttered Cagalli. "In space, no one will hearr that!"

"Gee Cagalli likes muttering to herself" Yzak said to himself as he walked along the sidewalk to the cliff. He just wanted to see dead fangirls. He is the kind of guy who gets kicks out of that.

Flay was on the other side of the cliff. But not where Lacus and most of the other fangirls were. She was in a place beyond hell. It was a... dun dun dun... SECOND HAND SHOP! (gasp)


When Dearka returned to Earth, but he landed on Yzak when he re-entered the atmosphere, he began to tell Murrue about bringing people back to life.

"Only bring people back who are in the sequel, and Nicol, 'cause fangirls love 'im!" Murrue nodded. She agreed.

"I agree" she agreed. Everyone joined in this discussion, but it was so long, pointless and random, that I didn't write it. It ended up with Murrue kissing Yzak, Athrun lying sideways on the road hoping for death to come so he could be brought back, Cagalli PMSing, Lacus/Natarle/Mu/Fangirls staying dead I(but Mu came back as some guy called Neo... O.O) and Kira bringing out what he bought at the shops.

"This is eight-ball the second, and he shall be mine, he shall be my eight-ball the second" Kira stood on the coffee table that was spotted and had Lacus' head through it, and said proudly.

"No, give it here!" Cagalli pleaded, but she was PMSing, so she wasn't in her right mind.

Then Kira said: "Why do they call them SuperMarkets, they can't fly, they don't wear bright colourful costumes, they don't have x-ray vision. Why don't they call him OrdinaryMarkets. Oh, I am going to the OrdinaryMarkets, makes more sense than SuperMarket!" Kira shook the purple eight-ball the second vigorously. What came next was due to brain hemmoraging (sp?).

"It's okay!" was what the eight-ball the second read. Well, Kira read it, but that was what the eight-ball the second... you know what I am saying.

Kira then tried to eat the eight-ball the second... you may think I would put again here, but he ate the eight-ball, not the eight-ball the second last time.

Luckily, this tme he tried to eat an eight-ball, Cagalli stopped him by using her magical crowbar that she magically found in the magical land of Godivaneedofracrowbarfightnowsomybrotherdoesn'tdoanythingstupidlikeeatanothereight-ball. Then all was revealed.

Cagalli was actually Harry Potter... only with a sex change... (double gasp!)

Then it turned out she wasn't really there and they could all walk through her ('cept the dead guys!) and her name was bob, the retired/retarded builder. What do you call Bob the builder when he retired? Bob...

And then she was the magical Wooden Picture Frame fairy from the land of giraffe.

Then Athrun said that was why he had so many problems with wooden picture frames, 'casue Cagalli got angry at him lots.

Then Kira woke up... with eggs in one hand and the eight ball in the other...


A/n: My GOD, who f'd up that chappie? Thanx to Jinxie-the-Thief, my one and only reviewer. I hope you like my new style of randomness! Go the EGGS! and sorry with the ending with the frequent use of the word "then" but I had to get you angry!


Next time on The Philosophy Of A Sugar-High Rampage

Yzak gets hives and pimples, Cagalli turns into Lacus, Lacus is reborn... as a penguin, Athrun sings with Yzak (singing in the rain), Dearka decides that he shalt not be a pervert (triple gasp), Kira put his EGGS to work, Nicol comes back and fangirls glomp on him, Murrue decides to kill Mu again, Flay blows up, Mr. Pink goes into the secret service and then has a name change and becomes Mr. Takeoffzebrababi and Natarle is being Rau Le Crueset for a day. Plua, enter the big discussion of concussions!

Chapter Five: What Do You Do When EGGS Are In Your Coffee?