A/n: Thanx to threats from Seran, I am updating again! This one will be really weird! Yzak maybe OOC, but it's not my problem!


What Do You Do When EGGS Are In Your Coffee?

It was a day after the whole incident with Mr. Pink/Plaid/Whatever and the missing Lacus. Yzak was having his morning caffine fix (A.K.A Coffee) and he was reading the latest news report (the same news reporter that was reporting a similar report last night).

"An Antarctic Penguin is claiming to be a coordinator and not only that, she/he/it is claiming to be Lacus Clyne!" the reporter who was reporting reported (A/n: Reporter, the reporter who reports and likes reporting... sounds like that guy from the Pink Panther Movie... See it, y'know ya wanna!)

Yzak spat on his coffee. Maybe Lacus had died and been reborn as a penguin... Nah, maybe she went to the Quickie Mart and got lost in the tampon isle 'cause she was trapped under the mountain of tampons that the reporter just reported. That was more likely that the former.

Yzak then spat on his coffee again.

"Yzak, you should stop spitting, it is bad for the environment!" Cagalli yelled. Why she was up at four thirty in the morning, no one would know. Cagalli was dressed in a really bad Lacus Clyne cosplay outfit (available from Madman stores for only sixteen easy payments of $14.95!) and was starting to mumble something about channeling her spirit.

But we all know that THAT couldn't happen, because Lacus' spirit was already incarnated in to the penguin!

Yzak continued spitting and Cagalli hit him with a haro. Yzak's skin was going a funny colour and then all these pustules (pimples) and hives and boils (A/n: where'd the boils come from?) appeared on his skin. Gee he really was allergic to EGGS.

By the time Cagalli stopped channeling Lacus' spirit and everyone came down for breakfast, Yzak was half-dead.

So when Dearka got down, he kicked him.

"Stupid person, did he eat EGGS?" Dearka sat in Yzak's uninhabited chair, which Yzak fell off of due to his EGG attack.

"Muahahahahahahahahaha... (cough,splutter) muahahahahahaha" someone nameless yelled.

Everyone looked at Kira who was laughing rather evilly and doing the "happy-happy-joy-joy" dance.

"Mu is dead Kira, so why are you laughing at him?" Murrue asked (A/n: Mu hahahahahahaha!)

"No Murrue-san! It was I who poisoned Yzak with EGGS!" Kira yelled as he jumped on a coffee table and put his leg on Yzak's back. Yzak was pretty swollen by then, so you kind of had to jump on some sort of table to kick him in the hip... Long story...

It was then that Nicol made his "I-am-so-cute-fangirls-glomp-me-now" entrance. And what his entrance said, the fangirls did.

Poor Nicol!

"NICOL! You died again so how come you are back again?" everyone, even the half-dead Yzak, asked.

"The authoress can't kill a cute character! It was becuase of that and my kira-kira (shiny) eyes that saved me!" Nicol chuckled, as everyone sweatdropped.

"I am not going to be a pervert! I am going to be a preist!" Dearka stood on Yzak and yelled, but he soon got tired of standing there, so he ran off to a Monestery.

"See you at church on Sunday!" Yzak yelled sarcastically, sad at his friend's annoyance. He was also sad because Dearka had his supply of Anti-EGGS-ocide tablets. Plus, his book on how to NOT take you anger out on soemthing (or someone) smaller or more inanimate than you...

Murrue wanted to kill Mu (again, remmeber he is already dead!), so she grabbed his picture and stabbed it... Not once, but thrice! Why, because I said so and it has the word "rice" in it!

All through-out this little escapade, Mr. pink who was now Mr. Plaid was listening, for he had joined Big Brother or the secret service, you decide. Because either way, he knew everything. Then came the day he knew too much and malfunctioned and he couldn't go to Athrun to get fixed becuase 1)He wouldn't be able to have any kids, 2)He was the intruder, 3)It was called the secret service for a reason, so he had a name change.

He is now Mr. Takeoffzebrababi, you can reach him at or at the Gundam SEED Destiny Stargazer website and workplace, but sadly, I don't know where that is, so don't ask (and don't try to write to that email, it doesn't exist, so don't!)

Luckily, Flay knew about Mr. Pink/Plaid/akeoffzebrababi 's antics, so he had to kill her. She was blown up by her hair dryer.

Bye, bye Flay!

When it blew up though, Athrun, Kira, Cagalli, Yzak, Dearka (who was rolling around on the floor, trying to purify it for sacremental reasons), Milly and Nicol were all hit by a sudeen wave of rolling black-outs... Dearka did it! (he is slighty black y'know, get it rolling BLACK-outs!) Um... yeah. So they all got concussions.

When they woke up, the topic was concussions. Which ended up with everyone having at least seventeen of their own minus the rolling black-outs one. During the concussions though, Yzak and Athrun ended up singing "Singing In The Rain". Weirdo's!

Gee, that was strange.

Natarle, who it turned out didn't die, ran in with Rau Le Crueset's mask on. She was laughing manically, so Kira went all SEED Mode.

"Die, Rau Le Crueset!" Kira yelled as he tried to push Natarle through a window. Rau Le Crueset has a lifetime of being killed, don't cosplay as him or you will be next!

"Yzak finally calmed down and began breathing again, and so that ends the story of Lacus the penguin looking after 'The Silver-Haired Duelist'" the reporter finished reporting the report. "See you tomorrowat six o'clock, for the six o'clock news. Same time, same place, same news!"


A/n: There was no cliff in that chapter. My last chapter was sad, so I hope this one is better. Thank you to Seran and Wispy. This one is to you guys!
Next time on a Philosophy of a Suger-High Rampage:

Nicol makes his own plushies, they got to Church (it is Sunday and it is Dearka's sermon!), Milly summons Lacus back to her own body-thereby sacrificing the penguin!-, Kira renounces his stupidity, Athrun runs into a wall and gets a concussionagain, Flay turns into Yzak's guardian angel, Lacus saves a puppy called "Fatty-fatty-two-by-four-can't-fit-through-the-kitchen-door" but she is fondly known as Kitchen, Cagalli tries to kill Kira becuase he posts naked pictures of her on the net (even though it was actually Dearka. 1)Why did he do it? 2)Where the hell did he get naked pictures? 3)He did sign it as Kira) and Yzak gets his revenge... Bye, bye Eight-Ball the Second...

Chapter 6: Yzak's Revenge and What To Do When Flay Is The Angel On Your Shoulder (A.K.A: Your conscience)

Hello Eight-Ball the Third...

Uh oh

TSA