Hunted or Busted
Dusted 23: There Can Only Be One!
I'm sure...for some of us...this is more of a mood than we'd like to admit.
((((((((Hunted))))))))
"Professor, I have the next batch of paperwork for you sir."
"Oh, thank you Glynda. Please put it there on the side." The blonde teacher nodded and rested the stack of papers on his desk as he continued to diligently stamp and sign everything that needed his attention. He fixed his spectacles and focused on one paper's contents, "Why does Peter need another surplus of ammunition? Did he already waste through his last supply?"
"He apparently went out on a hunt with some of the senior students as a celebration of them nearly graduating. By his words he wanted to create fond memories with his students one last time before sending them out to the field and what the world has to offer."
Ozpin chuckled sentimentally, "He certainly has a big heart, doesn't he? I suppose there's no harm in indulging some of the students we'll be sending out now." His closest advisor nodded her agreement as he started to sign away, "The care and bonds we make with these students will go a long way in informing the Huntsmen and Huntresses they become once they-"
There was a massive explosion on the other side of the room that blew the elevator doors off the wall. Ozpin and Glynda immediately covered their faces as smoke and ash started to fill the room. The blonde teacher coughed and waved her crop around in order to gather the smoke together and toss it away. And the moment sight returned to them-
They found several dozen students all armed to the teeth, in fighting stances, and aimed squarely at Ozpin.
Ruby stored forward, jumped on his desk, and started spinning her scythe around before lodging the bladed end of it into the side of the desk. The young student glared at her headmaster, "Okay Professor Ozpin, I'm going to ask you this once and only once..." She slowly cocked her weapon and aimed it at his face, "Where are they?"
"Where is what?"
"Don't try to play coy, old man!" Nora bellowed as she swung her hammer and shatter a bookshelf into splinters, "We know you have them!"
"Ms. Valkyrie, considering I'm looking down the barrel of a rifle and Ms. Rose doesn't seem to have any compunctions about firing, I'd prefer not playing the pronoun game." Ozpin casually fixed his glasses and looked around at everyone. He noticed RWBY, JNPR, NKTS, SSSN, CFVY, and GKTS had joined forces in order to raid his office. And while he'd usually be pleased to see so many different teams working in unison, he couldn't find the joy in it while every weapon imaginable was aimed at him, "So what is this about exactly?"
"The consoles!"
"The consoles?"
"All the consoles have been sold out for months! We've tried to preorder and find them but we can't!"
"I couldn't even procure one with my huge network of connections!" Weiss piped up, "No one had one! Not a single one!"
"We couldn't even use Weiss' connections!" Blake said, "What's the point of hanging around with a rich kid if you can't use their special connections?!"
"Blake!"
"What? I'm really angry about this console thing."
"Why are you always meaner and more crass when our adventures involve games and other things?"
"Because that's what is important of course!"
"What about your desire for equality?!"
"Can't even compare!"
"Excuse me!" Ozpin spoke up and got the matter back on topic with the attention turned to him, "If we can please figure this matter out properly, thank you. So why do you think I would have all the consoles?"
"Because you're always the bad guy! When we want the new big game you either beat us to buying them or horde all the copies for yourself and the teachers! So we thought we'd cut out the middle man and raze your office now looking for them!" Tenten said before aiming her sticks at her teachers, "Now where are they?!"
"I don't have them."
"He's being difficult." Ren shook his head, "I guess torture is the only option. Any suggestions?"
"Cut off fingers?"
"Oh, pour hot chocolate into his eye! And then threaten to do it to his other eye too while it bubbles and pops!"
"Just do something to his dick and balls. Guys always start singing when the coin purse and snake are on the line."
"Yep."
"That's right."
"Makes sense to me."
"Please!" Ozpin immediately raised his hands defensively as several people stepped forward with vice-like grips raised, "Before doing that, let me explain. We also tried to pre-order the new consoles. And being honest the thought did cross my mind to buy all the consoles for ourselves. But then we realized just how dangerous and terrible it would be if we denied them a chance to receive what they wanted. We didn't want to agitate the people and risk bringing in the Grimm-"
"And we don't have a large fortune to spare buying all the consoles." Glynda piped up, shaking her head in disgust towards the headmaster, "He really wanted to get all them until I reminded him that we are a school, not an establishment that prints money."
Several students leveled scrutinizing glares at the headmaster as Yang made a show of cracking her knuckles for emphasis. The older Huntsman sweated and coughed into his hand, "Regardless, we tried but we failed. Just like Ms. Schnee said no amount of connections we had were able to help us procure a console before they sold out. So I know you don't believe us…but we're in the same boat as you."
"You're right; we don't believe you." Naruto looked around and saw his friends had finished ransacking the office and found nothing indicating where the consoles could be. The whiskered Faunus turned his glare back at the white-haired headmaster, "But it doesn't look like we'll find anything here. Everyone move out! There must be an inventory of it somewhere!"
The students quickly ran for the hole that used to be the elevator. On the way out, Nora stared Ozpin down and slowly dragged a vase off the shelf and let it crash on the ground. She then jumped down with the rest of her friends and left the two teachers alone in the mess that was once the head office of Beacon.
"We've made real fine connections with our students, haven't we Glynda?"
"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."
The computer console started to chime in from Ozpin's desk and he quickly answered. General Ironwood appeared on the holographic display and urgently spoke, ("Oz, I saw your office just go up in smoke and flames! What happened? Are you under attack?")
"No James, just having a discussion with my students."
("D-Discussion? What could you possibly be talking about that would destroy your office?!")
"Where to get new consoles."
("...")
"..."
("Did they-")
"They don't know where to get any either."
("Dammit! What was the point of me becoming the general of the largest military power in the world if I don't have the pull to preorder one damn console?!")
Glynda looked at the two men in disbelief, "For the good and benefit of the people of Remnant?"
("Ugh, don't paraphrase the job summary to me.")
((((((((Hunting))))))))
"Okay," Coco rubbed her temples as she and her crew walked through Beacon in aggravation as another lead for their desires turned up with nothing. The beret-wearing upperclassman sighed, "So Ozpin turned out to be a dead end? Any updates online?"
"Still a bunch of vendors offering to sell!" Neptune piped up before sagging in defeat, "But the prices are still so inflated they'd make you sick."
"And all the stores are still saying they're unavailable." Jaune spoke up, "I'm refreshing and...still nothing."
"Check again."
"Still nothing."
"Check again."
"Still nothing."
"Check again."
"C-Can I do something other than refreshing the page over and over again?"
"Jaune, we all have our parts to play in this."
"But everyone else is just-"
"Jaune!"
"Fine! Still nothing!"
"Alright everybody, convene with your teams! Work out your schedules and what we're going to do next! And Jaune don't you dare stop refreshing!"
"C'mon!"
Team CFVY gathered together in a huddle as the fashionista leader of the crew took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes, "Okay team, today hasn't really been going our way."
"We searched every store and shop in Vale just to try and find one console but no one had anything to offer." Velvet glumly stated as her ears hung on her head, "They hadn't even gotten any of the orders in stock yet."
"And no one we spoke to has been forthcoming with details or updates about when they can be expected." Yatsuhashi solemnly shook his head, "I suspect we won't be getting a new console any time soon."
"Well that's bullshit." Fox's thoughts entered their minds as the blind fighter crossed his arms petulantly, "What are we supposed to do now? There were a ton of games I was looking forward to playing with the enhanced accessibility and 3D audio but now what? Do I just have to sit on the bed and listening to the maddening clicking of buttons again for eternity until the gods deign to provide us with our treasure?"
The team looked at their red-haired teammate in confusion before Coco perked an eyebrow, "Did you really have to whine like that?"
"It's boring just sitting around listening to you guys play! At least when Yatsu and Velvet play they speak up and engage in conversation to keep me involved! But Coco you play with your headphones in so there's no sound other than the controller, and I fucking know you do it on purpose!"
"Who? Me? Couldn't be."
"I'm blind but I can hear that damn smirk on your face."
Coco coughed and straightened her face before nodding, "Alright, we're going to keep searching today until we've got some lead! Anything! Team CFVY doesn't give up until they get what they want!"
"But Coco, with so few leads and such little information, it doesn't seem like we're going to find anything substantial." Yatsuhashi warned, "And even if we did, with how sparse these consoles seem to be I doubt all of us will be able to get one."
"Oh, but Yatsu...that's been expected from the beginning."
Coco snickered to herself, her shoulders wiggling as she menacingly rolled her fingers together, "After all the searching we've been doing it's become pretty clear that no matter how hard we look there might not be enough consoles for us and all our friends. And if that's the case...then we have to forget that they are our friends."
"Coco-"
"I know it's cruel and heartless, but if the choices are whether we get to play the next generation or someone else does, we come first. That's the point of this. We get what we want...no matter the consequences."
Velvet mumbled to herself as her ears gently swayed on her head.
"What's wrong, Bun-Bun?" Coco asked her friend as she saw the conflicted, worried expression on the rabbit Faunus' face, "You have a few reservations about my cutt-throat attitude and abandoning our friends for our own selfish gains?"
"N-No. W-Well actually yes, very much, but right now...um..." Velvet's ears lowered and she looked back over her shoulder. The rest of CFVY followed her gaze and looked around at all their fellow teams still huddled together in their own groups as well.
And they also noticed that at least one person from every team was tapping their fingers together menacingly and snickering to themselves just like Coco had done.
"Oh for fuck - hey!" Coco yelled and got everyone's attention as the Huntress growled, "None of you assholes are prepared to abandon us for your own selfish gains and secure the consoles just for your own team, right?"
...
"N-No!"
"Absolutely not!"
"H-How could you think we'd do something like that?"
"Never!"
"We're not that evil!" Ruby yelled, chuckling nervously as her silver eyes darted around everywhere as if to avoid meeting their gaze, "And how could I even come up with a plan like that? I'm like 12-years old!"
CFVY didn't look convinced and Coco clicked her teeth in annoyance. She flicked her sunglasses back over her eyes and snarled, "Jaune. Update?"
"Nothing. Well actually something did change." Hopeful cheers followed the scraggly blond's announcement before he finished, "The prices have been jacked up twice as much."
"MOTHERFUC-"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"WHY?! WHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"
"THAT'S CRUEL!"
"THAT'S EVIL!"
"IT'S DOWNRIGHT CRIMINAL!"
...
With that exclamation, realization crossed the students' faces at the same time.
Sasuke palmed his face, "In hindsight, why didn't we connect those dots a lot faster?"
"Is it because we're so focused and task-oriented?"
"Or we could just be dumb?"
"Yeah. Yeah we're dumb."
((((((((Hunted))))))))
"Oh man, doesn't it just bring a tear to your eye Neo?" His silent companion nodded by his side as she sat on a cargo box and whimsically kicked her feet out while he started drooling, "Look how many of them we have. Thousands upon thousands lined up in rows and rows. Soon enough we'll be swimming in it!"
His mute accomplice mimed rubbing her eyes and weeping.
"Yes we'll also be swimming in the salty tears of gamers and fanboys everywhere, but also we'll be raking in the Lien!"
Neo stuck out her tongue and bopped herself on the head.
"No, you weren't confused. No matter how rich we get we'll most likely be outweighed by the sheer volume of butthurt whining. But still, the money will be worth it!" Torchwick lovingly ran his hand over a crate and smiled, "Just imagine it Neo. All these new consoles. All the angry people around the city. We're in the prime position to get whatever we wanted. What do you think?"
Neo pouted and crossed her arms.
"Huh? What's wrong?"
She pointed at him and then flicked her fingers under her chin.
"What do you mean I'm a hypocrite?"
She waved her arms back several times and then motioned to grabbing a large sword off her back.
"Oh, you mean about what I said earlier about supporting the intellectual property and buying things through the proper channels? Ah, well allow me to explain. You see I said that about games and creations made by companies that needed the money. But these consoles are created by big conglomorates that already got paid and have enough money lining their pockets. So I can do this relatively guilt free!"
Neo frowned at him incredulously and then circled her finger through the air.
"True, I am kinda reaching for a loophole to avoid any contractions with my previously stated criminal code. But counterpoint," Torchwick reached his cane over, knocked a crate open, and hooked one of the new consoles over the hook of it before handing it over to Neo, "You get one for free!"
Neo smiled and clapped her hands like a giddy child as she took the big new box housing the brand new console just for her. Torchwick smiled smugly as his young accomplice kicked her legs around, "I knew you'd see it my way sooner or later. Now, we need to get started on hiking up the online prices even more-"
The ceiling, walls, and even the floor suddenly erupted into pieces around them and covered them in a cloud of smoke and dust. It slowly started to settle and the criminal duo found themselves on the business end of every weapon imaginable.
"One chance." Ruby repeated on the end of a particularly tense cocking of her gun, "Hand over the consoles."
"Holy crap you guys just busted in without the normal pomp and pontificating. Must be serious." Torchwick sweated, realizing that he couldn't reach for his cane without risking the chance of become riddled with holes. He gulped and smiled, "Well I'm sorry to disappoint you kiddies but I don't have what you're looking for here."
Their eyes panned to the side and Torchwick followed to look at Neo as she defensively covered her console box with her arms and legs.
"W-What? That? We have a friend in the retail business that hooked us up early as a favor. That's all."
All eyes turned to the other side of the room where hundreds of crates lined up together in rows stretching across the entire warehouse.
"That's just Dust! Remember?! I'm a horrid, fiendish criminal who has been stealing Dust throughout the Kingdom for months now! Why would it be anything else?"
Someone walked over to a crate and broke through its side, revealing the console boxes stacked atop each other inside. All eyes turned back to Torchwick.
The master criminal blinked a few times before shrugging, "My mind's a blank."
"Hand them over or we'll be forced to wreck your shit!" Ruby narrowed her eyes, "I'm kinda hoping you resist!"
"Okay, let me just raise a quick point. All of you are armed. All of you have the most advanced set of weapons I've ever seen. And all of you have a penchant for causing more damage and destruction than you stop. You all do it. You know you do. Don't even try to deny it." The young students relented and shrugged, a murmur of agreement washing over them as they remembered their fondness for outrageous fighting and gratuitous violence, "And since we a,l agree that you kids go overboard, you'd just end up wrecking my warehouse. Now if you want, you can act like the heroes, fight me, take back the consoles, and return them to their rightful places where the people that already bought them can get them. Or...just take what you want...and walk away."
...
The students carrying the weight of the next generation's hope looked between each other. No one said a word but it was clear from their expressions that each one of them was considering it. Naruto narrowed his eyes at the criminals, "Do you honestly expect us to believe that?"
"I want to sell these things at outrageously hiked up prices. What I don't want is to sift through the wreckage because of a fight. If surrendering a little merchandise means I can get one and avoid the other, so be it." Torchwick smiled and looked between everyone, "The question is...can you sacrifice your morals to do it?"
The students hesitated as the weight of guilt and shame of the situation. They could have everything they wanted. All it required was for them to sacrifice their morality to-
A loud crash and frantic shuffling around alerted everyone to the side. In time to see Blake furiously tearing through everything in her way to reach a console. She paused and looked back at all the surprised stares she was getting. The cat Faunus shrugged, "I was a terrorist that sacrificed a lot of my moral ground for what I thought was right. I'm pretty sure I can handle making a deal to get what I want."
...
"You know what? I was a terrorist and a thief!" Naruto sheathed his weapon and ran into the inventory, "I can take this!"
"I-I nearly drowned myself and my brother!"
"I made my family forget I had a baby brother!"
"My family mistreats Faunus and are the leading source of disdain for the wealthy across the world! I want a console!"
Soon all the students were abandoning their morals and taking Torchwick up on his offer. The master criminal physically sagged with relief and Neo swiped the sweat from her forehead.
"Naruto! Naruto! We did it!" Ruby came running over to her friend in excitement as he was searching through a crate, "After all this time we found them!"
"I know!" The two friends embraced and jumped around in glee after finally reaching their goal. They quickly separated and started searching different crates with purpose and drive, "After all this time we found them! And they're right here!"
"I was losing hope but here they are!"
"Ruby, we got-"
"Naruto, we can play-"
"PlayStation!"
"XBox!"
The two friend looked at each other in surprise as they were both holding onto a different box they had been searching for during their crusade across Vale. And slowly it started to become clear that half of their search party was looking for one console on one side while the other tried to locate its counterpart.
Neo's eyes widened as she covered her mouth to mime gasping.
"I agree, Neo." Torchwick nodded as he held up a bowl of popcorn for her to eat from, "Oh shit indeed."
It was silent between everyone before Naruto finally broke the tension, "Um...what the fuck is this?"
"We're getting the console we all were searching for. The XBox. The only one worth our time." Ruby emphasized by lifting up the box in her hands, "What are you doing?"
"We're getting the PlayStation. Because what kind of psychopath would go this far just for an XBox?"
"Excuse you?" Yang walked up to her sister's side with glowing red eyes, "Have you seen how ugly and disproportionate that stupid console looks? We want something that looks natural in our room and not like it dropped out of space and crawled into the corner."
Sasuke hummed, "Oh, that makes sense. I didn't know we were helping you shop for a footstool. You see we came here today to make sure we have fun."
"Uh, yeah, fun." Sun stepped up to the sisters' side, "So why are you wasting time with that waste of space?"
"Waste of space?" Weiss repeated indignantly as she stepped up to Naruto and Sasuke's side, "That's rich coming from the glorified straight-edge you're carrying."
It quickly became clear that the group was taking sides and refusing to budge. And soon enough there were arguments that devolved to insults which soon just became screaming.
"Fox what the hell?"
"I told you I need 3D audio to play anything! Can't get that with XBox!"
"Neptune, how are we supposed to play multiplayer if the system you play on barely supports it?!"
"What exactly are we gonna play on that thing?! If you just wanna play multiplayer then we can stick with the old console! I need something new!"
"Blake, I thought you liked black! You should be on our side!"
"I do like black, but do you know what I like even more? Actually playing games. So I'm good over here."
"We have games!"
"We have Spider-Man right off the bat!"
"That game's like five hours long! It's nothing!"
"Yeah but what have you got! Infinite was delayed and now you have no launch titles!"
"We have backwards compatibility!"
"We have backwards compatibility too! And actual games to use them on!"
"Oh that's it!"
"We need the PlayStation! We want to experience phenomenal stories and gameplay we can't get anywhere else! The exclusives on this thing are reason enough to buy it!"
"We literally wouldn't exist without the XBox!"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"We exist because this thing was created!"
"We exist because a man with a dream finally got to put his creation to pen and paper!"
"At a company that only exists because of an XBox game!"
"..."
"..."
"XBox still sucks!"
"Fuck you!"
Naruto and Ruby stared at each other as arguments and yells were thrown around all around them. The younger leader closed her eyes sadly before reaching behind her. She drew out Crescent Rose and cocked the rifle, "Some wars will not end in peace."
Naruto sadly nodded as he pulled out Squall, "Some heroes choose the wrong side."
Everyone started drawing out their weapons and were preparing for battle. Yang cocked her gauntlets as Weiss raised her rapier. Sun prepared his staff while Nora prepared her hammer. Coco's minigun started rotating in preparation for battle as Gaara disassembled the concrete around him into a dust cloud he controlled.
Torchwick and Neo were stuck between hiding or finding a better seat to watch the pandemonium unfurl.
However before the chaos could descend, a voice echoed through the warehouse-
"Wait!"
They all looked over as Penny flew through the hole the created in the walls, her lasers keeping her airborne for a moment before they deactivated. The plucky ginger girl dropped down between the two sides and looked between everyone, "I heard a report that there were explosions and screaming coming from this warehouse. But what are all of you doing here?"
"Penny get back. We're about to settle things once and for all."
"With the dastardly criminal Roman Torchwick?" The robot girl looked over at the thief, Torchwick paling and dropping his popcorn as the freckled Atlas student raised her blades, "Allow me to help!"
"No not with Torchwick! With each other! This is our final battle!"
"Each other?" She looked between both sides and gasped, "You're going to fight your friends? Why would you do that?"
"To settle a conflict that has raged for generations. That has caused so many wars of flame that we're all sick of it! This is the end! This is where one side comes out the winner and we can put an end to it all!"
Penny looked around in worry, "But you're friends! And you're going to hurt each other just to decide who's right?"
"This isn't to decide who is right or wrong!"
"Only who is left standing!"
"WRAAAHHHH!"
"STOP!" Penny raised her arms between the two armed groups and shook her head, "I don't care what the reason might be! You are all friends! You all have taught me so much about camaraderie and teamwork and life! I refuse to believe there is anything that would break you apart like this!"
"There is Penny." Naruto said sadly, "We've tried to make peace before but it never ends well. Some asshole has to start complaining or detracting the other. Suddenly it's filled with wave after wave of spiteful comments. It just never ends."
"We can't come to an understanding." Ruby nodded, "We tried to bond over gaming but we've grown so far apart now that even that isn't enough. It's...it's just too late."
"It's never too late! I won't let you fight each other!" Penny cried with tears in her eyes, "There has to be some way!"
"There isn't Penny! Now just choose a side and get ready for the fight! Do you prefer PlayStation or XBox?"
"Oh, I like PC better."
...
Everyone lowered their weapons and stared at Penny in silence. The sweet automaton continued completely oblivious to the looks she was getting, "I mean I can customize my system to best suit my needs and desires, the graphics are much better, and I can download any game I want in an instant because of the CPU I use. Honestly it's better than any console in existence. And another thinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..."
Penny slowly lowered her head and slurred her words as she powered down. She dropped to the ground lifelessly as Naruto and Ruby lowered their hands from her power button. The two sides looked at each other and nodded.
Because now matter how bad things between the factions got, they could all agree...
That the PC Master Race was the worst.
As they reached a peaceful conclusion and started shaking hands, Neo tilted her head in confusion. She looked at Torchwick as the criminal shrugged, "Fucking weirdos, all of them. Then again...I guess these dumb consoles have that effect on everyone."
((((((((Hunted))))))))
"I got one! I got one! Yes!" Cinder squealed in delight as she hugged her PlayStation to her chest, "I finally get to upgrade all my games! Hooray!"
Her followers looked at the scene in front of them in revulsion as Emerald whispered, "Do we...is it just gonna be video game stuff from now on?"
"That's the impression I'm getting."
((((((((Hunted))))))))
Done
This isn't real or accurate or anything. I haven't been obsessively trying to get a new console by checking the vendor sites every day and refreshing them for months. That's you! You did that, not me!
...
Fuck I want one so bad!
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