Hey guys!
Thanks again for all your reviews, they all inspired me to go on and
write like there is no tomorrow! So not to worry, updates will
continue to happen every single day (unless there is trouble with
uploading).
Well now, I'm glad to here you enjoyed the previous
chapter, and I hope you like this one too!
Disclaimer: See chapter 1
Mazza xxx
© M . J . S 2006
Chapter 7:
Giving in into emptiness:
The Doctor was lying down beneath the main controls tinkering with his sonic screwdriver and making adjustments to the TARDIS. He was in a sense trying to upgrade the TARDIS. His TARDIS was one of the many TARDIS that had not been upgraded to fully capacity before he left with it. Since then he has been trying to upgrade anything and everything. The TARDIS however had other ideas.
The TARDIS was quite happy with the level of ability she had. She hated being constantly opened, closed and reopened for no good reason at all. Sometimes the Doctor would sleep walk and head over to the main control board open it and pretend he was working. It began to worry the TARDIS. Ever since the sad separation of the Doctor and Rose it had been getting worse. The Doctor was spending more time in the TARDIS than he had ever done before in his long life. It was obvious to see the separation had severe side effects to the Doctor. He slowly began to lose the comical compassion he shared for most things in life. And during the adventures he went on he found himself hating them by the end. Hating the feeling of walking back to the TARDIS and leaving with no one to share his thoughts that were slowly bottling up in his mind. But that is the curse placed upon the last living Time Lord, to be forever in solitude.
The Doctor came close to getting a new companion, whose name was Maria. However Maria was quite content with the life she had and when she was given the choice she chose family over fun, which the Doctor agreed with in the back of his mind. For if he was given the choice now he too would have given up his travelling days for even just a moment with his family and friends that he lost.
However one thing that puzzled him was why Rose? He had lost several companions before Rose and still managed to pick himself up and continue his life. Maybe he was getting too old and the strain of losing people dear to him was too hard to handle at his age.
As these thoughts rambled and plummeted in his mind, however the one thought which still remains in his mind and chooses to ignore is most likely the reason. Rose had confessed her love to him. My God he thought, even now years after that moment he finds it hard to think about that moment. He had locked Rose's room on the TARDIS, and stored any photos of her in a cabinet. Sometimes he found himself being tempted to look at the photos just to see her bright smile. However he knew if he did so he would only aid in the destruction of his heart.
Did he love her? Yes. But the key word there is did. He had no idea how he felt towards her now. Not that it mattered, he would never see her again. So why the hell was this so hard for him to forget? Maybe he still loved her? Hard to tell though as he had almost completely wiped out the image of Rose from his mind. It sometimes pained him to do so as he knew this meant he would have to forget Rose. He never forgot any of his companions but Rose was an exception. If he didn't forget her he would be lost forever. The course of true love did run smoothly. What am I thinking… the Doctor paused as he stared up to the several hundreds of wires he had removed and replaced with new ones.
He sat up and perched himself on a step. I could never forget her. Though her face maybe a blur she did touch my heart.
In the next instant the Doctor slammed his hand to the floor board. The pain shot through his arm instantly. How could I have run out of time? HOW! Maybe if I had confessed my love to her too this would be easier. God that's it, I must be worried that she never thought I loved her…no she was smarter than that, she must have known…she had to know.
"Please…let her know" he whispered. He then looked to his right hand which was now sore and headed to the med bay to wrap it up. Once he took care of his hand he stared down the long endless hall of the TARDIS. He felt different, he felt better for some reason. Had he finally cracked it? Was it simply a case of not knowing if he got his message across to Rose? Surely over the past few years he would have been able to figure that out!
There is still one problem though¸ he thought. Do I still love her?
With that he headed to his bedroom and lay on his bed. That one question still floating around his mind. Do I still love her? Yet again we come across another question in which he will never find the answer to. I have to make sure I don't love her, I have to let go, I have to…
With that the Time Lord shut his eyes, and for the first time in many years he didn't see the blurry image of his former companion. All he saw was emptiness…
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
O
no! What does this mean!
Ok I know this chapter was really
short, but it aids in the dramatic effect he-he!
Well here is the
first introduction of the Doctor in the story, please review and tell
me what you think! All im gonna tell you is that there is plenty
more to come…but that's all im saying he-he, evil I know but in
the end it is all in the reader's interest – that's you guys
he-he!
Please review now thanks you guys!
Mazza xxxx
