Hunted or Busted: A Side Story
Dusted 28: The Fox and The Hood: Meet the Family
What better example of a romantic valentine chapter than awkwardly meeting the family?
NONE THAT'S WHAT! ENJOY THE PAIN AND CRINGE!
SAVOR IT!
((((((((Hunted))))))))
A silhouette walked into the dark room with a table illuminated with light at the center of it. They stepped in a little closer before they heard a voice, "Thank you for joining us today."
"Of course. I know how important this is."
"Tonight is a very special occasion. We gotta be prepared for anything."
"Agreed." The third shadow joined them at the table and they all sat in silence. Until the third shadow looked up, "Why is this the only light on?"
"I thought it would add an air of mystery to our proceedings."
"No, it's just making it hard to see your faces."
"B-But I thought it would be cool-"
"Tai."
"Oh fine." The first shadow stood up and turned on the lights. As they fully illuminated the nice, cozy kitchen of the Xiao Long-Rose family home, Taiyang sighed and returned to his seat, "You guys never let me have any fun."
"Because your fun is lame." Qrow quickly stated as he pulled out his Scroll and tossed it across the table, "These are our targets. Now I warn you; the images you are about to see will sicken you to your stomach."
The image was projected over the table and allowed them to all see the targets of their machinations. A young, happy red-haired woman smiling while walking alongside an equally happy, whiskered Faunus man. A small slideshow of them walking through parks, getting messy while cooking dinner, and eating out at a restaurant started to pass by.
Qrow grimaced while pulling out his flask, "Guh, they're so sickeningly sweet it makes me…well sick."
Tai sat back in his chair and glared at the image, "This is our target for the afternoon; Naruto Uzumaki. He's coming over for dinner tonight to properly introduce himself as Ruby's boyfriend. After three months." He added with an annoyed growl, "So this will be our chance to properly vet him as boyfriend material."
"Just to be clear you guys remember that you've met him, right?" Yang had to ask, "He's been our friend since Beacon and Ruby's roommate since they graduated."
"Yeah, but now he's my baby girl's boyfriend! And thus he will be judged on a different standard!"
"Plus he's Minnie's son," Qrow added, "Which means we gotta haze him and torment him just on principle alone."
Yang rolled her eyes in response as Taiyang nodded enthusiastically, "Right! Now, there are a few things we need to figure out. So…" The blond Huntsman paused awkwardly for a moment before looking to his eldest daughter, "Are we…we certain that him and Ruby haven't…done…it yet, right?"
Yang raised her eyebrow, "It?"
"Don't do that, Yang. Don't act like you don't know what I'm saying." Taiyang said sternly to his daughter as she smirked at his discomfort, "I'm asking if Ruby and Naruto have had…have they-"
"Sex?"
"Ugh!" Taiyang groaned in disgust, "Do you have to say it?"
"I mean Dad, you gotta accept it at some point." Yang said with a giddy chuckle, "I mean maybe some day Ruby and Naruto will walk through the door with a baby in their arms. And you'll have to accept what they did. Because sex makes babies."
"IT DOES?!" Yang and Tai glared at Qrow dryly as he chuckled, "Sorry, I can never give up a chance to make that joke when it comes along."
"Hmm, well to answer your question – no. She and Naruto definitely haven't done it yet."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"H-How can you be sure?"
"Because it's Ruby! She blabs and tells us everything whenever anything new happens. She can't help herself." Yang pulled out her Scroll and showed her father and uncle the message chains she shared with Ruby and their friends from Beacon, "She wants to keep up with everyone and make sure we don't lose touch. We've been doing it for years. And she overshares everything. What happened on their first date. Their travels around Remnant for that one year. Hell, I couldn't get her to stop talking about the incident where she and Naruto shared a shower."
Qrow froze mid-sip and Taiyang's jaw hung loosely on his face in response. The two men shared a look before looking at the blonde brawler curiously, "I'm sorry…what?"
"Wait did we never tell you?" Yang looked between her guardians quizzically. When she saw their shocked and confused expressions persist, she let out a heavy breath of air, "Oh wow, man we were joking about it so much I forgot it was pretty much an inside joke. Yeah, so the first night she and Naruto were staying in the apartment they were celebrating their newfound independence. And the next morning Ruby was so tired that she just dragged herself into her room and took a shower. But it wasn't her room, or her shower, and it was in use."
"Did he-"
"No he didn't do anything. And Ruby was such a mess she rushed out before anything could happen. But she got a look." Yang chuckled, "And she did not let herself forget about it."
"I don't like what you're insinuating there." Qrow snarled before looking at Taiyang, "So he's seen her naked?"
"And he's now her boyfriend." Taiyang took a deep, rumbling breath before shaking his head, "Well, I think that cinches it." Tai shared a look with Qrow as they both nodded, "We need to put the fear of the gods into this guy."
"Agreed." Qrow nodded, "Just tell me when and I'll pull out Harbringer to give him a good scare."
Watching her father and uncle conspire to give Naruto a good fright, Yang rolled her eyes, "Man, you guys are so ridiculous."
"Are you not going to help us?"
"Of course I am." Yang smirked, "He might be my friend but all loyalty and friendships are abandoned when it concerns my baby sister."
And like that, a terrible alliance was formed between the Branwen and Xiao Long family members.
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Ruby shuddered, "Do you ever get the feeling like some dumb and terrible is going to happen for dumb and terrible reasons?"
"You're only now feeling that! I've had that feeling all day!" Naruto squirmed as they walked along the dirt path to their destination in Patch. His breathing started becoming shallow and hyper, "We should have postponed. We should have canceled. We should have made up a reason we couldn't come tonight."
"Hey, come on, don't talk like that." Ruby gently squeezed her boyfriend's arm to try and calm his nerves, "I really wanted you to come here tonight because I wanted to let them meet you properly."
"But I already know Yang and I've met your uncle and dad-"
"Not as my boyfriend so things have changed." She looked up at him with a slight pout, "I really wanted them to see how great you are. Isn't that alright? Don't you want to proudly face them and say you're dating Ruby Rose?"
Naruto frowned at her, "Don't do that."
"Don't do what?"
"Don't manipulate me by doing your cute pout and big shiny eyes. You're just trying to break my guard when you do that."
"Is it working?"
"Of course it's working!" Naruto exclaimed furiously before sighing in defeat, "Dammit, fine."
"Yay!" Ruby threw her arms up and cheered before charging down the path, laughing at the victory she was able to secure, "I won!"
"You know this relationship isn't gonna last if we start measuring victories and losses!" He called after her as she jumped around and pumped her arms, "Tell me you heard what I said!" As she wriggled her butt he chuckled and shook his head, "You know the sun's getting pretty low. We aren't gonna make it to your dad's house at this rate."
"It's okay." Ruby looked back at him with a joyous smile, "There's just one stop we need to make first. And it'll be real quick." She looked around, surveying the landscape before she made a turn towards the trees and ran through them. Naruto quickly picked up the pace to follow after her until they emerged on a small cliff looking out over the horizon.
Knowing what came next, Naruto reached into the plastic bag he carried with wine and gifts for the hosts. He retrieved a bouquet of red roses and walked up to Ruby's side as she quietly stood with a solemn but content smile. She looked up at him and smiled a little wider as he knelt down and placed the roses on the gravestone.
He looked down fondly at the rose-marked gravestone and smiled, "Hello ma'am, it's nice to finally meet you. I have heard nothing but the best for years now." Ruby chuckled behind him before he stood back up and joined her side, "I wanted to say thank you for the great job you did. You raised and inspired two of the best Huntresses I've ever met. And even to this day I can tell they were molded into the people they are now because of what you showed them as kids." He smiled at his girlfriend, "And that makes them pretty great."
Ruby smiled and blushed at his words of praise before giggling, "See Mom? I told you he was great." She puffed out her chest proudly, "I think it's safe to say I have pretty good taste. And I thought the best boyfriend in the world should get to meet the best mom in the world too. Think you two would hit it off."
She looked up and wriggled her eyebrows as Naruto chuckled and shook his head at her lunacy. Ruby giggled and then looked back down at her mom's gravestone. Her smile softened slightly and she closed her eyes…
"I really do think you two would have liked each other. You're both great Hunters. You both cook delicious food. I always look up to you for help when I needed it. And I love you both so much I can't explain it." Ruby felt her vision start to blur and rubbed her eyes, "I wish you two could have met properly."
Naruto's arm circled around her shoulders and squeezed her close, "I feel like I already do."
Ruby nodded, "We should get going. We've still got to get to the cabin."
"We can spare a few minutes if you want."
She took him up on that offer. The young Huntress stood before her mother's grave alongside her boyfriend and imagined a life where they could have met.
((((((((Hunted))))))))
The sun was starting to set after their lengthy detour to Summer's grave. Ruby was smiling brightly but the affect of visiting her mother with her beloved had left her teary-eyed and now her eyes were red. Nevertheless, she couldn't contain the big smile on her face as she and Naruto walked hand-in-hand down the path to her family home.
"Do you think your family is gonna be upset?" Naruto asked as they walked along, "I mean we said we'd be showing up at least an hour earlier. I might not be making such a great impression if we show up so late."
"Nah, they'll understand. It's no big deal." Ruby assuaged her boyfriend's worries as they spotted the family mailbox at the top of the drive. With a few quick steps they turned and found the family cabin in sight, "There it is."
"Looks cozy."
"It really is." Ruby giggled, "It's so nice to bundle up and sit together when it's cold and we open the windows to get air when it's hot. The sound of birds and bugs chirping in the forest was so nice I could slip away into a nap super easy." The grin on her face grew wider and wider, "I'm sure you're gonna love it."
Naruto hummed and stepped up to the door with her. Ruby quickly let go of his hand and jumped up the step before drumming her hands on the door, "Hey! It's us! We're hungry! Open up!"
"We heard ya! We heard ya!" Ruby giggled as she heard the gruff, grouchy voice call out from behind the door. It swung open to reveal Qrow standing behind it, the old Huntsman looking down at his niece and scoffing with a smile, "Sorry but we don't want what you're selling kid."
"Shut up Uncle Qrow!" Ruby dove in and hugged him tightly, "Ah it's so good to see you again!"
"You too, Pipsqueak."
"Hey Ruby," Yang greeted her little sister with a smile and wave, "You took your sweet time, huh?"
"Ruby!"
"Dad!" Father and daughter quickly embraced, "Oh thanks so much for inviting us for dinner."
"Any time baby girl." Taiyang said warmly before separating from his daughter. When he did he looked down at her in worry and held her face still, "Wait, Ruby, are you okay? It looks like you've been crying."
"Huh?" The red-haired woman touched her eyes before chuckling, "Oh, we just had to deal with something before we stopped by. No biggie."
Three very sharp, very cold glares immediately turned to the whiskered Faunus standing in the doorway. On instinct Naruto tensed up and nearly summoned his Semblance to protect himself. However then he remembered where he was and who was glaring at him and calmed down.
He gulped and nervously waved at them, "H-Hey guys, sorry we're late."
"Hey Naruto." Yang recovered first and ushered him in, "We've been waiting for you. Get in here already." The blonde bruiser showed a mischievous grin, "Someone's been waiting to see you for a long time."
Naruto started to sweat in horror, "Oh no."
"Woof!"
"Zwei!" The fox Faunus gulped in fright as he saw a little black and white blur dash along the ground before leaping into Ruby's arms. She laughed and giggled as the corgi's tongue slobbered over her neck and face, "Oh, good boy! Who's a good boy!"
"Woof!"
"Yes! It's you! It's you!" Ruby laughed before turning to her boyfriend, "Naruto, look who it is!"
Only to find him having taken a stance and ready for battle.
The entire family looked at him oddly as Ruby sighed, "Really? You're afraid of him? Still?"
"How is he still alive?! He should be super old for a dog, right?!"
"He is." Ruby gently placed Zwei down, lovingly rubbing behind his ears and down to his chin, "He's just a poor old soul now. We need to treat him properly so he doesn't get hurt or tired."
"Poor little guy."
"He's lived a good life."
"Can't ask for more than that."
The way the family talked about him was like he was a tried, withered old dog suffering through the pains of his winter years. And certainly by his age that should have been the case. Yet when Naruto looked down he saw the old dog running circles, flipping over on his paws, and looking up at him with big eyes and a slobbering tongue.
Naruto frowned, made sure the others weren't watching, and bent down to glare at the dog, "She scratches and rubs my ears now, you little jerk. Just remember that."
Zwei just happily wagged his tail, "Woof!"
"That's right, be jealous." Naruto mumbled, standing up tall and walking proudly as if he'd just won a philosophical argument and didn't just argue with a dog. Walking into the kitchen with the rest of the family, the blond Faunus raised his bag for them to see, "We brought candies and wine."
Without saying another word Qrow walked over, reached into the bag, and pulled out the bottle of wine. He inspected real quick before giving a hum of approval, patting Naruto on the shoulder and walking away without saying anything.
…
"That was for everybody." Naruto pointed out to the others, "Do we just…let him have it?" The unanimous shrugs from the Xiao Long-Rose family made it clear that if he wanted to try it, it would be an effort he'd take alone. With a resigned shrug he relented, "Whatever. Not my liver."
"Okay, time to put on the finishing touches." Taiyang started rolling up his sleeves and fastening his apron behind him, "Anyone want to help, or will you mercifully get out of the way so the food is edible."
"Boo you, Dad!" Ruby groused before she grinned, "You should cook with Naruto! He's an excellent cook!"
"Oh is he? Naruto, want to give me a hand?"
"Sure!" The blond smiled as he started pulling up his sleeve to pitch in too, "I'll give it a shot."
As Ruby watched her boyfriend join her father in preparing the meal, she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked back at Yang, "Yeah?"
"Can I talk to you real quick?"
((((((((Hunted))))))))
Zwei quickly jumped up on the couch and joined them in their discussion. Spreading over Ruby's lap and getting comfortable, she scratched his ears as she giggled, "You know Naruto's gonna get jealous if he sees me scratching you. My hands are pretty much exclusively for his ears these days."
"Woof!"
"Fine but you'll take the fall if he finds out, okay?"
"Oh, going behind your boyfriend's back now, are you? Salacious." Yang purred mockingly as she leaned back in her seat and scratched Zwei under the chin, "You've certainly grown up."
"Shut up."
"So~," Yang dragged out her vowel before eyeing her younger sister curiously, "What have you two gotten into in the last few months?"
Ruby looked at Yang oddly after her inquiry, "What? Why are you asking? Where's that coming from?"
"Just want to know if you're still in your cute little honeymoon phase where you hold hands and giggle like primary school kids."
"Well no, we aren't just holding hands and junk. We kiss and snuggle and…" Her cheeks were slightly dusted pink as she looked aside, "Other stuff too."
"Other stuff?" Yang hummed and chuckled, "I'm interested in what that might be considering you won't even give it a name." The pink on Ruby's cheeks grew a little more defined as she huffed and turned her head, "But you haven't gone the full way yet, have you?" Her refusal to answer seemed to give away everything, "Well then you need to be careful, okay?"
"Why are we having this conversation? This is super awkward for sisters to have."
"Yeah I know, but would you rather talk with me or suffer through a discussion with Dad or Qrow?"
"Fair point. Continue."
"Look, all I'm saying is that you haven't done it before, and I'm sure Naruto hasn't either. So please…just be careful and consider things before you take that step."
Ruby frowned slightly and just looked down at Zwei as she considered her sister's words.
((((((((Hunted))))))))
"So how are things going?"
"Pretty well. The potatoes are looking pretty clean and the casserole needs a few more minutes-"
"I meant how are things going between you and Ruby."
"O-Oh." Naruto sweated at the uncomfortable conversation reeling its head between him and Taiyang. He wanted to get more comfortable around Ruby's father and uncle now that they were dating, but talking about their relationship might have been a step too far of what he was comfortable with. Like what would he say?!
'Oh sir, things are great! Ruby is so much fun to be around and so cute! I'm lucky to be with her! By the way we kiss all the time! And neither of us were super good at it at first so we had to practice a lot! You wanna hear more gross details!'
"Fine." Naruto finally, mercifully answered, "Things are - are fine - good in fact. Really good. I think things are working really well for us."
"That's good to hear." Taiyang nodded as he started to chop up the veggies and greens for the salad, "You know I was so surprised when Ruby first told us she had gotten a boyfriend. After all these years I had just kind of assumed that she wasn't interested in romance or meeting anyone. Which is why even though I wasn't enthused with the idea of her having a boy as a roommate, I wasn't expecting anything that'd worry me."
Naruto nodded, "I get that." He snickered, "After all the time we spent in Beacon I was sure Ruby would prefer spending an afternoon doing maintenance on Crescent Rose rather than go on dates or going out."
"Heh, that sounds like Ruby." The two blond men shared a fond laugh together as the older man slid the results of his chopping into a bowl, "Honestly it reminds me a lot of what it was like being around Summer in Beacon."
"We went to visit her grave while we were making our way here. Left a couple of flowers on her stone." The look of surprise on Taiyang's face had Naruto smiling in relief, "Ruby thought it would be a good opportunity for me to introduce myself properly."
They cooked in silence for a moment before Taiyang laughed, "I'm glad to hear that. Wouldn't feel right to have this evening at all without Summer involved." His hand came up to his eye and wiped it dry, although Naruto took no notice of that as he kept preparing the meal, "I really appreciate that."
"Happy to do it."
"Thank you." Taiyang clapped his shoulder, "And thank you for being there at Ruby's side. I'm…I'm glad that she has someone like you looking out for her and loving her."
"And I always will."
"Glad to hear it."
The two men shared a smile and nod before they started adding the final preparations for their dinner.
"Soup's on!"
"Yay!"
((((((((Hunted))))))))
The Xiao Long-Rose family sat around the table, with Qrow and Naruto joining them in their meal. Dinner was a jovial affair, with lots of jokes and stories being tossed around. No plate of food was untouched as every serving and course was devoured until the plates were clean.
Qrow knocked back a glass of fine wine and savored the taste his niece and her boyfriend chose. They had some pretty good taste if this was their standard. After putting the glass to his lips he looked around the table.
Yang had taken her turn.
Looks like Tai had done his part as well.
Well…time do his part. And if the others were going to play the supportive family…
"So you're gonna use protection when you do it, right?"
Drinks were spat out and food was choked on while plates and cutlery tumbled to the ground.
"What?!"
"Ew!"
"Qrow!"
"What the hell?!"
"What? It's a legitimate question and one they need to have an answer to." Qrow sipped his drink before pointing between the two lovebirds, "You wanna make sure you're all prepped up before you two go doing anything. Especially you kid. Don't be silly, wrap your willy."
"A-Are you serious right now?"
"Deadly. You have to plan out stuff like this. It was awful after Taiyang did it with Raven the first time."
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Why are you dragging me into this?!"
"Because true stories do wonders to scare people straight."
"Then use one of your own!"
"When talking to my niece and her boyfriend? That'd be embarrassing. Now it was clear right from the get-go that Taiyang had basically no idea how to seduce my sister, so he did this crazy thing where he was splayed out over the bed with roses, candles, and his weapon oh-so-conveniently laying in front of his-"
"No! No more! I can't!" Yang shuddered and covered her ears, "I can't do it! I can't listen to this! Oh gods, I'm imagining it! I'm imagining my conception!"
"Don't do it Yang! Don't think about it!"
"Also you have to be careful of diseases you can catch while having sex."
"B-But I thought that only happened when you have unprotected sex with multiple partners!"
"Oh no, that's a clever lie we tell people so they don't freak out. The truth is having sex even once while your protected could end up giving you a nasty rash. Ever heard of chlamydia? That shit doesn't tickle. In fact let me tell you more about it. Long story short is it hurts to pee. Short story long however is-"
The screaming didn't stop.
((((((((Hunted))))))))
Naruto had been given the guest bedroom in one corner of the house so that he could stay the night. The blond was laid out over the bed and staring at his Scroll as the night carried on. He was basically just waiting for his brain to turn off and to get so sleepy he could just slip into his rest.
Until a knock at the door got his attention.
"It's open."
She gently pushed in and Ruby poked her head in, "Hey." She greeted him with a smile before slipping in and closing the door. There were no lights on in the room but Naruto's natural night vision let him see things clearly. They hadn't been preparing to stay over for the night so they only had to use what they had to sleep in. Naruto had been given some spares from Taiyang while Ruby used some old PJs from her room.
Ruby's growth spurt was clearly not made to accommodate her old clothes. The skin peeking out and her clothes trying to contain her more developed body was…
"Naruto?"
"Mmm-mhuh?" Naruto made some strange noise he'd never made before until he avoiding a direct gaze at his girlfriend, "Yeah what's up?"
"Just wanted to see if you were okay." She said innocently as she strolled over and sat on his bed. Patting the spot beside her she ushered him over and he quickly followed, "You might be all lonely in a new room with no one around."
"Oh?" He smirked, "Well I wouldn't hate some company."
"Oh good, because Zwei likes to take naps in here-" He nudged her shoulder and she giggled, "Kidding! I'm kidding! I just wanted to make sure you were okay."
"Oh I'm fine. Actively trying to forget what Qrow said at dinner but otherwise good."
"Oh, did Qrow say something? I can't remember."
"You have to teach me how you repress that shit so easily."
"Years of practice." The couple shared a hearty laugh together before a moment of silence settled between them. Ruby leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder as he leaned on her head, "Thank you so much for coming here tonight."
"It was fun."
"I'm glad." Ruby shifted on the bed a little before lifting her head and looking up at him, "So, I had this talk with Yang earlier…and it got me thinking."
Naruto looked at her, "Yeah, I've been thinking too."
…
Without any exchange they immediately leaned in, embracing each other as they kissed deeply. Ruby moaned and ran her fingers through his hair and his own hand circled around the small of her back to pull her in.
With a little extra strength Naruto leaned into her until her back hit the bed. The two snuggled together, their mouths barely ever separating to even catch a breath as they moaned into each other's mouth. After a few minutes, they finally separated and Naruto sat up. He wiped his mouth and looked down.
Ruby's eyes were hazy, her mouth glistening with their shared saliva, her chest rising and falling with each breath as she shifted underneath him. The sight was intoxicating and Naruto instantly felt a heat and hardness start to rise in his pants.
"Naruto," Ruby's hands reached up, slipping under his shirt and lifting it up as she ran her fingers over his chest, "I've been waiting for this for a really, really long time."
"Me too." He whispered, pulling his shirt off completely as he looked at Ruby and the tightness of her top, "You know I still remember that day you got into the shower with me. I tried not to think about it too much but…I feel like I have a photographic memory of that specific moment."
"Oh yeah?" Ruby murmured, her face red as she spoke in a seductive tone, "That makes two of us."
Naruto's hand glowed orange with Aura before it stretched out to the side. It came back to his hand with his wallet and he reached in to pull out a black rubber square, "Just in case."
Ruby gulped with excitement, "Let's try not to make too much noise."
"You got it. I'll be a quiet as possible."
"Don't go too far."
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"I think tonight went pretty well."
"Shut up Qrow! I'm going to spend a week draining my brain of the crap you said!"
"Hey, I was trying to put the fear of god into them. Did you two forget that was the plan?"
"Well things change Qrow. I talked with Ruby and told her to be careful of how their relationship goes from now on."
"And I talked with Naruto and see why he works so well with Ruby."
"So you both pussed out? Cool. I actually put them off the idea of hooking up. So I think I win."
The trio bickered and argued for several minutes before they heard a strange sound. They all shared a look together before looking up…
To see the light fixture over the dinner table sway in rhythm with the strange creaking going through the house.
…
Qrow groaned and reached for the wine bottle, "Hopefully the rest of it will put me to sleep."
"Oh no!" Yang quickly snagged it, "I'm the one that needs to forget this night! I will not let these sounds linger!"
"No! Me!" Taiyang wrestled for the bottle, "That's my daughter up there! If I'm not drunk right now who knows what that'll do to me!"
"Oh suddenly the addiction seems useful!" Qrow growled as he pounced, "Well I got first dibs!"
Zwei whined and covered his ears to block out all the noises happening at once.
((((((((Hunted))))))))
Done
Nothing ruins a fun night with your partner's family where you all grow a little closer than the sounds of hanky-panky seeping through the walls and making things shake. They prepared to bring war upon this boy but in return they were scarred for life. That's kinda how things go, ain't it?
Anyway, I think the next chapter I update will either be another fun chapter or finally getting back to that Hiruzen prequel. I'm feeling inspired to write tons of stuff right now and I need to use that momentum as much as possible.
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