A/N (7/29/04): I'm terribly sorry for the delay! Terribly! First I was in Georgia for a week, an' then I was in Europe for 11 days, an' I've been tryin' to get back into the swing o' things. Me watch is still set on Amsterdam time. Six hours difference. I've been havin' trouble adjustin'.
A/N (7/29/04): Me brother got a fully automatic B-B gun for 'is 13th birthday. Cool, huh?
Friday: No, it's a very bad idea. As I've already told you, "Ask Tom" is something Lyn says when she really doesn't want to explain and doesn't want them bothering her about explaining.
Yeah, I really don't own any of it. Sad, huh? But I live with it. Hey, I own my great stories, "Sir Jacob Swift" and "The Legacy of War." Speaking of Legacy, I need to update that story….
Definitely not-so-innocently.
You've burnt all the food! The shade! The rum!
Yes, my brother is younger. Don't worry, the explanation made my brain hurt.
I could slap Junior, too.
Why thank ye, love!
Alan Jackson and Toby Keith are awesome!
Squashbuckled! Smushbuckled! That was Bootstrap. Oh, right. (Movie my brother and I are planning to make. PotC/Star Trek crossover. Blooper reel. Arr! Swash swash buckle buckle…. Smush smush buckle buckle. That was Bootstrap. Oh, right.)
My brother and I never agree.
Yes, it was. With Drew. I mentioned to him that I called it a game, and he said he never knew it was a game; how do you keep score? He's hilarious.
West Point was awesome. I might be crazy enough to want to go there. I want to be an Intelligence Agent. That would be so cool.
He gets it from his 8th grade English teacher.
Yes, Lyn-twin is the Herald. She wasn't too happy to be Chosen, and ever since then she's called her Companion a horse. She and a friend of hers came up with this plan for painting all the uniforms and Companions purple, and she managed to flood the Companions' Field.
My Chem teacher was the best.
Kristin's blue plastic Spoon of Power, no doubt. You been watching Robin Hood?
Well, it might be the Havens for Herald Lyndsay, but I doubt if it's the Havens for Lavan.
I don't know. Maybe you could have an evil twin so you could blame things on her? But you probably blame things on me, don't you. Because I'm the prankster.
Sorry. Forgot to put the explanations.
Boucanier-barbecuer or buccaneer
Je m'appelle Lightning Lyn Astra-My name is Lightning Lyn Astra
Je suis de Melbourne, Florida-I am from Melbourne, Florida
Je suis American-I am American
Je suis pirate-I am a pirate
Battez la navale-Beat Navy!
I'll have him ask that. "What's gasoline?" I'll have to add that. Ah, I see I already have. Excellent!
Yes, I like Toby Keith because of his name. I also like him because of his songs.
Fireblade K'Chona: Firesong! leans back and claps Oh dear. Oh, dear. Yes, I think I just have to have Firesong put in an appearance. In his version of a pirate costume. Any ideas on what it would involve?
Eyepatch
Feathers braided into his hair.
Anything else?
Amy: It's all the oddness. Blame it on the vortex. And Lyn. Or blame it on Jack, like Anamaria does. Because it's his fault I wrote this story in the first place….
Rachel: Drinks all around! Typos? What typos? Ah, so Calico Jack hasn't reviewed this story. I thought he had. He usually catches my typos. Or do you mean spelling "love" l-o-v-e?
I did not misspell that word. I am a grammar cop, and it annoys me every time someone spells it "luv." Look it up in the dictionary. The word "luv" isn't there. When Vanyel calls people "love," it's spelt l-o-v-e. I've also watched PotC with subtitles. I would remember if I'd seen that word spelt l-u-v while watching the movie. I didn't.
And I don't believe I told you about DoaP on the bus; only PYBW and ItV (DoaP being Daughter of a Pirate; PYBW being Pirates, Ye Be Warned; and ItV being Into the Vortex). So no, you didn't hear about it eight times.
Of course I left out the details! I couldn't remember them all. Besides, I wanted you to be able to enjoy it when you read it.
You're not in PYBW because I finished that story because I met you! You're going to be in ItV, though. Eventually. When I can fit you in. And don't you dare kidnap my kitty!
Time sure flies when you're having fun. Which Lyn was. She was probably the only one. Everyone else was busy trying to avoid Tom Astra or Tom Bombadil. Some of them didn't know which they were trying to avoid. Some of them couldn't tell the two apart. Which led to Tom Astra distributing many a punch and yelling at them, "I'm freakin' not Tom Bombadil!" Lyn took to calling her brother "Tom Bombadil" just to annoy him. In response, Tom tried to slug her, but Lyn was too fast for him. She blocked his punch and automatically punched him back. It quickly escalated into a full-scale fist-fight. Jack waded into the fray to break it up. Lyn immediately stopped punching her brother and attempted to draw Jack out of the line of fire. The attempt was successful only because Jack allowed it to be. When Lyn tried to re-start the fight, Jack distracted her with a kiss.
"You know what today it?" Katie asked of no one in particular.
"The day I got kissed by Captain Jack Sparrow?" Lyn hazarded a guess. She meant Jack Junior, of course.
Katie laughed. "I shoulda known you'd fall for a Slytherin-type."
"You fell for a Gryffindor-type," Lyn shot back.
"Slytherin," Katie countered. "He's a pirate."
"True," Lyn allowed. "But Potter was also a Slytherin-type an' 'e got inter Gryffindork a'cause 'e didn't wanna be in Slytherin."
"Trey wouldn't care," Katie said confidently. "'E's been a pirate 'is 'ole life."
Lyn made a face. "You win."
"What day is today, love?" Trey asked her—her being Katie, of course.
"The Fourth of July," Katie replied.
Trey gave her a blank look.
"It's a holiday," Katie explained. "There're parties, with fireworks. Let's go to one."
No sooner had she said it than the vortex whisked them away to a random Fourth of July party.
"Damn," Katie swore. "'Be careful what you wish for.' Can't even follow my own bloody advice."
"Where did you come from?" someone demanded of the pirates. The someone was a woman wearing an American flag-decorated dress. Very Fourth of July.
"Bloody vortex," Katie replied darkly.
"Whatever," the woman said. "Why are you wearing those costumes?"
"Well, we would have changed, except the stupid vortex took us here before we had the chance," Katie explained. She seemed to be calming down a bit. Possibly.
Just then, another woman spotted Nick. "Nick!" she said.
"Oh, hi Mom," Nick said.
"Mreow," said Gypsy as she wandered through the crowd.
"Nick, where have you been?" Nick's mom asked.
"Oh, here an' there. C'mon, Mom, I've been fine. I'm an adult now," Nick said.
"Meow!" Gypsy exclaimed. She ran away from someone she spotted in the crowd.
"Gypsy!" that person exclaimed, and began to chase after the cat. "I wonder how Gypsy got here?" Suddenly she spotted Lyn. "Lyn! There you are! Where have you been?"
"Who the Hell is that?" Jack asked.
"Please don't use that language," the girl requested.
"Cam!" Lyn exclaimed, running over to give her sister a hug.
"Lyn," Camembert said reproachfully, "you're dressed as a pirate."
"Of course!" Lyn said. "I'm a pirate now."
The pirates had a grand time partying for a while. Lyn found a stash of water balloons and water guns and started a water fight. Tom and Cam spent some time catching up on what each other had been doing. Tom managed to skim over most of his pirate activities, and left it at the fact that he'd been hanging out in the Bermuda Triangle with Lyn.
This went on until one of their former victims recognized them. Said former victim being Jared's brother Charlie. "Pirates!" he cried. "Call the police!"
Immediately there was a stampeded away from the pirates and toward the phone. Someone managed to grab the phone and dial 9-1-1. "Pirates!" he gasped. He gave the address. "We're being attacked by pirates!" He failed to mention that said pirates had so far not used any weapons worse than a water gun.
Soon the police showed up. They told the pirates to come out with their hands over their heads. Lyn came out with a water gun and managed to soak the police before they wrestled it away from her.
"Surely there's been some mistake," Uncle Jack began, but the police just forced him into the back of one of the cop cars. There wasn't quite enough room for everyone, but Lyn was not at all adverse to sitting on Jack's lap, and Katie was quite content to sit on Trey's lap.
Poor Kyra, who had somehow ended up with them, had no idea what was going on.
"Ler 'er go," Jack told the police. "She ain't done nothin' wrong."
Herald Lyndsay and Bard Woggle were also part of the group. "There's been a mistake," Herald Lyndsay said. "I'm no' a pirate. I'm a 'Erald."
Maybe she's not a pirate anymore, Lyn thought, but she was once. Which was probably why Herald Lyndsay wasn't protesting overmuch.
"Oh yeah?" one cop said challengingly. "So why's your twin sister a pirate, then?"
"She ain't me twin!" Herald Lyndsay protested. "I don' 'ave no sister." Because the pirates were terrorists, they were to be executed directly, without a trial.
Lyn protested, "That ain't the way things're done! I demand a trial! I demand a lawyer! Me mum'll 'ave a fit when she 'ears abou' this!"
"And who is your mother?" the cop asked her.
"The Honorable Judge Astra," Lyn replied.
"Judge, is it?" the cop asked.
"Aye!" Lyn replied fiercely.
"Well, you're still proven terrorists, so you won't get a trial," another cop said stubbornly.
"'Sides," Lyn said, "I'm underage. An' so's me brother. An' so're Katie an' the 'Erald an' the Bard. An' so's Kyra, I think. 'Ow old are ye, Kyra?"
"Seventeen," Kyra replied.
"See?" Lyn said. "We're all underage. Well, 'alf of us are, anyway. So ye can't execute us."
"We're allowed to execute terrorists of any age," the stubborn cop said.
The pirates spent the night in jail cells. The next morning, they were taken to an open spot surrounded by a crowd of people and were lined up to be shot.
A person in the crowd called out, "Hey! Since they love scaring others, they should have to feel fear themselves! Man's greatest fears are death and public speaking; make them speak at their execution!"
The rest of the crowd jeered and laughed.
Katie was just a bit ticked. Make that pissed. Really pissed. "Listen, ye who hear my words! You think to terrify me. You can't succeed, your coward's creed is never followed by me. I fear not fate, nor death, not pain, nor mortal man's revenge; what's dearest me, what makes me free, your law cannot infringe. So hang me, burn me, take my life; you cannot take my fame. Believe you me, I'll make you see, you're losing in this game!"
There was a moment of silence as everyone backed away from an irate Katie; then Try opened his mouth. "I'll speak next, 'cause if Jack speaks—either of them—he'll speak the lot o' you to sleep, an' I want to have my say. The reason most people are afraid to speak in public is that they ain't got nothin' to say. Well, I've got plenty to say, beginnin' with my opinion of anyone dumb enough to try to execute Jack Sparrow."
"Captain Jack Sparrow," Uncle Jack corrected.
"Sorry," Trey grinned. He turned back to the crowd. "Yer a bunch o' morons! Not only has he already escaped two times from almost certain death, whether or not you succeed here, you lost. If he gets away, you lose credibility. If you kill 'im, you'll be mobbed by rabid fangirls."
Uncle Jack grinned. "You know, I rather like this government. You can insult it without gettin' in trouble. But I still agree with young Bootstrap; You're stupid! Thought the death penalty was only supposed to be for—what was it?—premeditated murder." He turned to Lyn for confirmation.
Lyn nodded. She'd told him as much before. "As long as we don't kill anyone, she'd said, "we should be fine."
Jack continued, "Well, I'm the only one among us who's ever committed any premeditated murder, an' at my last execution they didn't seem to think that worth adding to my list of crimes. Trey's greatest crime was kidnapping a girl; but since the girl later proposed to him, I think he's already been punished enough for that transgression."
"You're terrorists!" yelled a random person in the crowd.
"What," Nick said, "because he towed a Carnival cruise ship out of the vortex? Because we defended a school against a pirate attack?"
"It's because we're bloody pirates, and everyone knows that pirates are terrorists," Tom said in a voice that dripped with scorn.
Lyn waved her arms the same way Uncle Jack had in the cave to get Barbossa's attention. She began to sing.
"If tomorrow all the loot were gone I'd stolen on this run,
An' I had to start again, with jes' me captain and 'is son,
I'd thank my lucky stars that I was on this ship today,
'Cause the flag still stands for freedom, an' they can't take that away!
An' I'm proud to be a buccaneer, where at least I know I'm free,
An' I won't forget the captain brave, who gave that right to me,
An' I'd proudly stand up next to you an' defend 'er out at sea,
'Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this ship, a pirate's life for me!
From the taverns of Tortuga, to the slums of Port Royal,
Across the waves that take us where seagulls wheel an' call,
We'll sail to that horizon, in good spirits all the way,
'Cause there's pride in every buccaneer 'eart, an' it's time we stood to say:
I'm proud to be a buccaneer, where at least I know I'm free,
An' I won't forget the captain brave, who gave that right to me,
An' I'd proudly stand up next to you an' defend 'er out at sea,
'Cause there ain't no doubt, I love this ship, a pirate's life for me!"
Now it was Jack's turn. He had been watching the sky, but he turned his attention to the crowd. "Gentlemen. Miladies. You will always remember this as the day that you almost shot Captain Jack Sparrow."
At that moment helicopters came down with ropes lowered for the pirates to grab onto. When the pirates did so, the helicopters took off again. They weren't flown to well, but they managed to land relatively safely on one of the islands in the Bermuda Triangle.
Apparently Gypsy had fetched the Stormwinds, who had come to the rescue as quickly as they could.
"That was fun," Lyn remarked. "Let's do it again."
Woot! I finished Chapter Eight! I love this chapter. Almost Shot Captain Jack Sparrow. I love Katie's rant. It's almost as good as Jacob's "I am Sir Jacob bloody Swift" rant. Rachel knows about that one, don't you, Rachel? You asked me to recite it so many times you've probably memorized it.
