Into the Vortex Chapter 14 Valentine's Day

A/N (5/16/05): Well, my 17th birthday passed without major incident, as evidenced by the fact that I am sitting at my computer typing this. Although I did get scolded for my Duct Tape jewelry. Never mind the black lipstick and blue hair; the Duct Tape was distracting. Luckily I'm not going to be attending class at high school ever again. I scraped by with A's in all my classes, so I don't have to take exams. And my mom actually let me skip—again, as evidenced by the fact that I am sitting here at my computer typing this during school hours. Four more days until I'm quit of high school forever. Oh, and, by the way, I have now seen The Matrix and The Matrix Reloaded. Am going to see The Matrix Revolutions soon. The movies were much better than I expected. Agent Smith is psycho. And Neo rocks.

A/N (10/11/05): Um, yeah. This chapter is rather pointless. But that's okay! The entire story is pointless. I may edit it later. If I come up with some grand idea. It's just this is part of the plan, and I have the next chapter written, so if this chapter sucks, that's the reason. No inspiration.

A/N (7/21/2006): Yeah, it's been a while. Over a year. I'm terribly sorry, I got distracted. With college. Parties are so much fun. Go read my Valdemar story, "If I Were a Herald." I completely rewrote it a few months ago. It's much better than it was before. And it has a pirate! Oh, by the way, I actually had a boyfriend for a while. And he gave me chocolate on Valentine's Day. But I broke up with him, even though he was really sweet. This chapter is dedicated to him. His name is Matthew Jay Medina, just in case anyone's wondering. If you like movie quotes, I just finished this romance, called The Pleasure Master, where one of the characters was a toy programmed with lots of movie quotes. It even used one from "The Princess Bride." It was so fun to read! The author also does vampire romances, which I love. I promise there'll be some vamp characters later on in the story.


The day was February 14, 2006. "That means it's Valentine's Day," Lyn explained to everyone. "Isn't it sweet? You're supposed to give your sweetheart chocolate and a little note telling how much you love her." She looked pointedly at Jack.

Baby William chose that moment to scream for his mommy. He had a good, healthy set of lungs on him, and Lyn could hear him easily across the distance between the Pearl and the Windrunner. Katie took the baby from her husband and sighed. "I really was not meant to carry children," she commented. "I have no hips."

Trey grinned. "I like your hips just fine, love."

"I'll bet you do," Katie replied. "You've certainly shown me often enough." She gave him what was supposed to be a quick kiss. He turned it into something else, deepening the kiss until Baby William's cries brought them both to their senses.

Jack, meanwhile, was feeling Lyn's stomach. "Ye used to 'ave a nice…what do you call it?...six-pack. What 'appened to it?"

"Mmm. Guess," Lyn replied, tilting her head upward for a kiss.

Jack's eyes widened. "Yer not serious!"

"Dead serious. We're gonna have a little Sparrow. Sometime in July, if my calculations are correct."

"I'll just trust ye on that one. Never was too good at figurin'. What're we gonna name 'im?"

"Jack. My first son will be named Jack, after 'is father. But I 'ave a feeling this one'll be a girl."

"Then we'll name 'er Caribbean."

"I like it!" Lyn said. "Caribbean Sparrow. It's a good name."

A small cherubic figure, bare naked and carrying a bow, flew by overhead.

"Aye, a good name," Jack said distractedly. The figure drew his bow back and aimed at Lyn. "Hey! You can't shoot my wife." Cupid cocked his head and studied Jack. Jack glared back, hoping to look menacing. It was a bit difficult when Lyn had her arms around his neck and was planting a kiss on his cheek.

Lyn looked around to see who had a gun. Looked like…everybody. But no one was actually holding a gun. She followed Jack's gaze. "Oh, look, a Cupid. How cute. No need to shoot me, Cupid, I'm already in love." She gave a contented sigh and snuggled against Jack's chest.

Cupid swung his bow a few inches to the left to aim at Jack. "No need to shoot him, either," Lyn said. "If you do, I'll shoot you." She pulled her gun and aimed it in the general direction of the flying cherub.

Jack, for one, wasn't fooled. Lyn was quite a shot, ever since he'd taught her the proper way of shooting. "Maybe you should put some clothes on," he suggested to the odd creature.

Cupid cocked his head the other way. "Buy her chocolate," he suggested, and poofed out of existence.

"So, are you going to buy me chocolate?" Lyn asked brightly.

"But I buy ye chocolate once a month," Jack protested. He'd discovered that giving her chocolate every five minutes was much preferable to dealing with mood swings.

"Not for the last few months, you haven't."

Well, he hadn't needed to. For the last few months she'd been manageable.

Lyn sniffed. "Buy me chocolate or I'm going to cry."

"Oh, no, love, don't cry. Please don't cry." He looked about helplessly. "Alright, I'll buy ye chocolate." She smiled triumphantly, all thoughts of tears forgotten. "Manipulative witch," Jack whispered.

Lyn looked at him innocently. "I'll have you know that I'm the good twin."

"Let's go to Wal-Mart."

They didn't bother to change before they went to the store. They never did. "You know," said the store clerk, "Dead Man's Chest isn't coming out until July." She batted her eyelashes at Jack. "Although I must say, the wild, untamed look certainly suits you."

"It's coming out in July?" Lyn asked excitedly. She'd been so busy living Pirates of the Caribbean that she'd forgotten all about the movie. Well, not all about the movie. "Hey, I'm havin' me baby in July."

"Oh, I thought you'd just eaten too much chocolate," the clerk said snidely.

Jack had his pistol out before she could blink. "Don't ye ever insult me wife again," he said pleasantly. "Else I'll jes' 'ave to shoot yer brains out. An' wouldn't that be a shame."

"Yeah," Lyn put in, "all her friends might realize she never had any brains at all."

"That—that isn't real," the clerk said, staring at the barrel of the pistol. "That can't be real. It would be illegal."

"I'm illegal, wench," Jack said in that same pleasant tone. "They tried to hang me but couldn't succeed. It was all over the news."

A young man with a mohawk sauntered over to them. "Is there a problem here?" His eyes took in the frightened clerk, the pistol, and the two pirates. "It would seem there is. I suggest you put the gun away."

"She insulted me wife."

"Aye, I can understand how that would be frustrating, however, it's really not a good reason to shoot her."

"Jack, it's okay, you don't have to get into a fight."

"Darling, I appreciate the thought, but this is what I do," the young man said. Both Lyn and Jack looked at him like he was crazy. "You were talking to me, right?"

"No, I was talking to my husband, Jack Sparrow," Lyn said slowly.

The stranger blinked. "Jack Sparrow. Of course. I should have known." He blinked again. "I'm Jack Murphy, by the way. Explains the confusion." A third blink. Maybe it cleared his thoughts. "So, you'd be the pirates who are cavorting in the Bermuda Triangle."

"Aye."

"We need to talk."

Before Junior could blink, Jack Murphy had grabbed the pistol out of his hand and was leading him out of the store. Lyn grabbed the bag of chocolate and followed in their wake. She opened it and popped one in her mouth. Mmmm. Chocolate. It was a taste of heaven here on earth.

"I'm supposed to arrest you, but no doubt you'd just use magic to escape, and I can't let that happen. The magic, not the escaping. I really don't care whether the law catches you or not. After all, you haven't actually hurt anyone yet."

Now it was Lyn's turn to blink. Had the bemohawked stranger just started talking about magic as if it was a fact of life? Sure, she'd seen some strange things in the Triangle, but so far nobody had suggested it might be magic. Well, except for Herald Lyndsay. And Bard Woggle. Those two seemed to believe in magic.

"You see, the magical community is a bit upset about all the attention you've been drawing to yourselves," the stranger continued. "You've even gotten the CIA interested. If you keep this up, people will start believing. And that'll lead to dragon hunts and vampire slayings and gods know what else."

"An' why do you care?" Jack asked. "Seems to me the witch-hunters will come after us first."

"I care because I'm part of that community. And it's not witch-hunters I'm worried about. Fire can't hurt me. I'm more concerned about the dragon slayers."

Dragon slayers? Fire? Was he saying he was a dragon? "You don't look much like a dragon," Lyn said, slightly confused.

"Of course I don't," Jack Murphy replied, not bothering to explain. "Here's your pistol back, Sparrow. Remember what I've said. And be careful. Witch hunters are no joke."

Jack Sparrow blinked at Jack Murphy as he left. "An' I thought Herald Lyndsay's talking horse was bad."


Jack and Lyn weren't the only ones busy this Valentine's day. Sam and Toby were on a double date with Becky and Jenny. Turns out both girls were pregnant, though not as far along as Lyn. "Well," said Toby, "I suppose we're just going to have to get married a bit sooner than we'd planned." Jenny happily agreed. Sam and Becky had a similar discussion. "Guess we should inform Mom there's gonna be a couple weddings," Sam said to his brother.

"Aye, I guess we should."

At school, Tom gave a box of chocolates to his girlfriend, Kay Benaire. It was a good thing Lyn no longer lived at home. If she ever found out Tom had a girlfriend, she'd tease him mercilessly.

Herald Lyndsay rode Lyrna through the crowded streets, followed by her friend Bard Woggle, who rode a horse. They got several strange looks, which both of them ignored. They left their mounts tied up outside of the bookstore, although Herald Lyndsay made sure Lyrna was able to free herself. She just didn't want someone calling Animal Control.

Inside, Bard Woggle headed straight toward the romance section. Herald Lyndsay sauntered more slowly toward fantasy and science fiction. There was a young man there, browsing the shelves.

"Hey," he said, smiling as he saw her. "You look just like one of those Heralds of Valdemar from Mercedes Lackey's books."

"I am. My name is Herald Lyndsay. My Companion, Lyrna, is outside."

"Well, Lyndsay, I'm Evan. Evan Faber. I'm one of Misty's greatest fans. I was just checking to see if she had any new books."

"I find this all fascinating," Herald Lyndsay said. "So many books. I really am from Valdemar. I know you don't believe me, but it's true. I'm not quite sure how I got here." Evan seemed a nice man, and he was handsome, too. Extremely handsome. If he didn't think she was crazy, maybe she could ask him to take her on a date.

"Oh, I believe you. There's a lot of things in this world that can't be explained. In fact, if that's your friend over there in Romance, you might want to warn her that the guy looking at Sherrilyn Kenyon's books is a vampire."

"If he's a vampire, what's he doing out in the sunlight?" Herald Lyndsay asked.

"Wearing a lot of sunscreen," Evan replied. She laughed.

Bard Woggle, however, wasn't laughing. She'd overheard the whole conversation. Sci Fi/Fantasy and Romance weren't too very far apart in this particular bookstore. The guy really was wearing a lot of sunscreen. "So, are you a vampire?"

"I believe the term the captain uses is 'vampirate,'" the man replied. He looked up from the book he held in his hands. Bard Woggle stared. Breathe, she reminded herself. Her body didn't respond. It couldn't. He was just that striking. Breathtaking. He grinned at her reaction, and she caught a glimpse of fangs.

"I guess you really are a vampire."

"Yes." He stepped closer.

Bard Woggle stopped breathing again. "Is this how you entrance all your victims? Beguile them with your good looks?" She gasped desperately for air.

"I think it would be more likely that you'd be the one doing the entrancing," the vampire replied. "I'm Corwin Vespers, gunner on the Morning Star. And you, fair maid, what might I call you?"

"Sally," Bard Woggle gasped. "My name is Sally Woglenar. I'm a, um, bard. On the Black Pearl." She couldn't breathe, she couldn't think.

"The Black Pearl, you say? Isn't that…interesting. We heard rumors, of course, but didn't really believe. The Pearl has been missing for nigh two and a half centuries."

"Yes, well, it, uh, traveled through time. I think. At least, that's what they told me. I wasn't actually on it at the time."

"Most interesting." He looked out the store window, at the cloudy sky. "Well, I have to leave now. But I will be back. I look forward to seeing you again, Miss Sally."

"How did you know he was a vampire?" Herald Lyndsay asked Evan.

"I'm a vampire slayer," Evan replied. "At least, that's what I'm supposed to be. I come from a family of slayers. Don't hold much truck with it, myself. They may lack souls, but most vampires aren't really bad. Not even the crew of the Morning Star. Like Vespers there. He could have entranced all of us with his mind-control and drank us dry. Lord knows I couldn't stop him. He's at least three hundred years old, and I never paid much attention to my slayer training."

"I could have stopped him," Herald Lyndsay said. "It would take a stronger mind than his to get past my defenses."

"Yes, well, I'm just as glad he didn't try. I would hate to have to kill him. He seems a decent guy. For a pirate."

"What's wrong with pirates?" Herald Lyndsay demanded. She was a bit sensitive on the subject, since she came from a family of pirates.

"Well, they kill people, usually," Evan replied. "And they steal. Don't tell me you're part of the Pearl's crew, as well. I wouldn't believe that of a Herald."

"I, ah, well, I'm sort of a passenger," Lyndsay replied. "I'm in the process of looking for a job that doesn't involve illegal activities, but until then, I'm kinda stuck without a place to stay."

Evan smiled. "I got some extra room at my place. Inherited it from my parents. They died last year, bless their souls. There's even a stable."

"And you expect me to go home with you? Just like that?"

"Well, anything's gotta be better than pirates, right? And if I do anything untoward, you'll probably run me through with that sword." He smiled, and in that instant Herald Lyndsay felt a connection to him form deep inside her.

:He's right: Lyrna interjected. :Captain Sparrow won't quite complaining about me, and he calls me a horse. I would kill for a good stable.:

"Looks like I've been outvoted," Herald Lyndsay said. "Lyrna—she's my Companion—says she wants that stable. Well, Woggle, I guess I'll see you around. Unless you'd like to come with us."

"No," Bard Woggle replied a bit breathlessly, "I think I'll stay on the Pearl. Corwin seemed to know about it. Maybe I'll see him again."


Query: Does anyone have a cool paradox they want in the chapter titled "Paradox Cove"? If so, please submit it. Paradox Cove is coming up.

Oh, and we will be seeing Corwin Vespers again, along with the rest of the crew of the Morning Star. Undead pirates. What fun.

Now, please review. Or I shall dress up in my new pirate costume and come after you with drawn cutlass. And knives. You should be very afraid. There's a rumor that I stabbed someone with one of my knives.