A/N: It's almost midnight here and after a long day at work and an evening spend writing, I'm tired. I wanted to finish this chapter today and I'm glad I did. A moment between Alex and Bobby, between Bobby and Abby and Bobby's thoughts. Thanks for all the nice reviews. Ideas, suggestions and grammar stuff are always welcome.
Chapter four
Bobby had made dinner for the three of them. Both Alex and Abby hardly ate anything. With some gentle pushing he'd gotten them both to eat more. Early in the evening he'd put Abby into her bed. The girl hardly left his side since that afternoon. She didn't say much at all, but she did seem to like him. She was only asleep for a couple of hours when she screamed again. Together they went to the girl, who was in tears and threw herself in Alex's arms. With some effort the girl calmed down, but he saw how hard it was on Alex. Returning to the living room, he stopped her. Looking at her he still saw how she tried to hold back the tears and stay strong.
"It's okay to cry, Alex." He put his hands on her shoulders and closed the distance between them. This time he wanted her to make the first move. "You don't always have to be strong." He whispered to her, hoping the words would get through to her. "You've lost your best friend. You have to grief too. You can't keep holding it back and stay strong for Abby. She isn't here now, I am. Let yourself fall and I'll be here to catch you, Alex." He waited and watched her closely. The words were getting through to her. She started trembling and shuddering. Then suddenly she let herself fall into him and his arms were immediately around her. As she cried he softly rubbed her back and placed soft kisses in her hair. Now and then he'd whisper to her that he was there, that he wouldn't leave her. Sometimes that would even make her cry harder.
It was some time later when Alex's tears stopped. For a short moment she thought about being in his arms and how it truly made her feel cherished. Bobby's arms were like a cocoon of asylum. In it she was safe and nothing could hurt her.
"You need to sleep." Bobby whispered in her ear, without releasing his hold on her.
"I can't."
"You have to try. You need to take care of yourself." He continued stroking her back.
She leaned her forehead against his chest and looked down to the ground. "I keep thinking about Jenny. When I first wake up it seems as if it never happened, but then it hits me and it hurts. It takes such a toll on me."
There was nothing he could do about that. Although maybe if he would hold her in his arms while she slept it would give her some peace of mind. But that wasn't something he could just suggest.
"And Abby's probably going to be up a lot."
"I can take care of Abby. You try to get some sleep." He felt her nod against his chest. He expected her to let go, but she surprised him by tightening her arms around him again.
"Thank you." She said before stepping away from him. He gave her a soft smile and watched her walk away.
The rest of the evening Bobby read through some more papers and watched some TV. It was while he was watching TV when he heard Abby's scream. Quickly he jogged up the stairs, hoping he could reach the girl before Alex would wake up. He found the girl sitting in her bed, big tears rolling down her red cheeks. As he approached her, he talked to her. "It's okay now Abby. Nothing's going to happen."
"Where's Aunt Alex?"
"She's sleeping." Bobby sat down on the edge of the little girl's bed.
"I miss mommy."
"I know you do. Did you dream about your mom?"
Abby nodded and hugged her teddy bear. Judging the girl's body language, Bobby guessed she didn't want to tell him about it. "Wanna try to go to sleep again?" Abby shook her head and Bobby understood. He couldn't sleep after he'd had a bad dream. "How about we get you a glass of warm milk?" Reaching out he lifted Abby in his arms and went downstairs.
He put the girl down in the corner of the couch and got her a glass of milk. Sitting down next to her, she quickly sat down on his lap again. Grabbing the remote he put the TV on nickelodeon. A yellow creature that lived under water was on. He didn't know it and found the creature a bit weird, but Abby seemed to like it. It wasn't long though before she fell asleep again. Bobby decided to keep her in his arms, hoping she would feel safe and fall into a deep sleep.
With Abby in his arms he couldn't help, but think about Alex again. To himself he could admit that he'd thought about having children with Alex. In his dreams those children even came alive. Two little girls with their mother's beautiful eyes and blond hair, yet with his curls. They were so real in his dreams. He didn't know if something would ever happen between him and Alex. His feelings for her ran deep. And as good as he read people, he had trouble with reading Alex, more precisely Alex's feelings for him. There was a deep friendship between them and he knew Alex loved him. But was she in love with him? He wasn't sure. There were occasional glances and touches, but nothing definitive. At least not as far as he knew.
He did want to explore his feelings for her. He wanted to share his thoughts about them with her, hoping she was open to them. Being rejected by Alex would hurt like nothing else, but he'd rather know than live with what ifs. Because talking with Alex about them could also lead to a degree of happiness he'd never known before. He'd been planning to talk to her about it for a while now, but with the current turn of events he'd have to postpone it.
Alex and Abby were all that mattered now. He was going to take care of them and make sure they were going to be all right. His feelings for Alex didn't count at the moment. He would try to push them aside. He was going to give Alex that was she needed most, someone to lean on, someone she could turn to. He knew her well enough to know he would have to be convincing. For Alex it was hard to show her vulnerability. Something about that scared her and he didn't quite know what it was. He was going to show her that it was all right to show her pain and vulnerability. That he wouldn't turn away from her when she needed him. That if she let him he would stay forever.
TBC...
