A/N: Yeah I'm even surprising myself. For me this chapter was about showing the letter or not. I decided to go with it to show the person Jenny was and how well she knew Alex. That's why it's included in this chapter. Thanks you for all the kind reviews. I'm glad you all like it. And I'd love to hear what you think about this one and the letter because the letter is an important part of this chapter. I wanted it to be touching yet not too dramatic. Just enough to realize that it would get to Alex.
Chapter five
The following morning was a busy one. Alex, though still tired, wasn't as exhausted anymore. Abby was still as quiet, but less restless. And Bobby, he stood back, watched and stepped in when necessary. While Alex met with the lawyer he played with Abby. He was still keenly aware of sounds from the other room, ready to go to her when needed. At the end of the meeting, Alex walked back into the room with a dazed look in her eyes. Bobby wanted to go to her, but with a small shake of her head, she told him to leave it alone.
"I'll be outside, okay?" In her hand she held a letter Jenny had written for her. Apparently she'd given it to her lawyer to give it to her after her death.
Outside she sat down on the one of the steps that led to the garden. Jenny had been saving money for Abby for years now. It was now in Alex's care only to be used for Abby. Jenny had taken care of so many things to make sure there wasn't going to be any hassle for her. And she had written her a letter. With trembling hands she looked at the familiar writing and slowly traced it. Finding her strength she opened it and read it.
Dear Alex,
When you read this letter it means that I'm no longer with you. I'm writing this three days after your visit. I already knew then how bad it was. I need to make things right before it was too late. That's why everything has been taken care of.
Alex, there's no doubt in my mind that Abby is going to be all right with you. I know you're probably doubting yourself at this moment. You've never taken care of a child over a long period of time before. Well, Alex, that time has come. But I wouldn't want anyone else to raise her. With you I know she'll be happy, loved and taken care of. It's okay to make mistakes and not to have all the answers. I never had the answers, but I succeeded. Have faith in yourself and you will be able to do this.
Don't hide from yourself and others as you try to work through all this. Lean on people, Alex. I know you want to do it all by yourself, not letting Abby see that you're hurting too. Show her. Abby has seen me crying too after a gruelling chemo when all I did was hold her in my arms and tell her how much I loved her. Will you tell her that I'll never leave her side, Alex? That I will always watch over her. Talk to her about what's going to happen. She's a smart girl, she'll understand. Get through this together.
You're going to have to make decisions. I know you have your life in New York. All your family and friends are there and you're going to need them. But take some time to get used to the island and the people. This is a good place. It's a nice place for Abby to grow up. The decision to go or not is up to you and I know you'll make the right one. Choose a place where you're both going to be happy.
I know that since Jason you've hardly let anyone love you. But I noticed how much you've been talking about your partner Bobby. I can't deny that your eyes begin to shine when you speak of him, how wide your smile gets or how your voice softens. You might not want to see it yourself, but this man has found a way in your heart. And I wouldn't be surprised if it's the same the other way round. Don't try to do it all alone. You've got to let someone in to get through this, Alex. Let him in. Let him comfort you, hold you and talk to him. I don't want you to be alone. You deserve happiness. We've both dealt with the loss of our husbands. I have never found anyone who even came close to Eric. You have and that's special. I want you to be happy. I want you to find love again. Don't go running from your feelings because you're afraid. I know you and that's what you do. You built up this wall and show everyone how tough you are. But you're not as tough as you think and even you need someone. Let Bobby be that someone. Find him… tell him… don't let him get away.
I love you Alex and I wish it didn't have to be this way. Knowing that you're going to take care of Abby makes it easier to let you all go. I know you're going to be just fine, remember that. Have faith.
Jenny
The tears were running freely down her cheeks. She wasn't even trying to hold them back. Putting the letter back in the envelop, Alex stood up. Walking down the steps and through the garden she walked passed the lake. Jenny knew her so well. The fact that Jenny had so much faith in her, did give her some peace of mind. She wasn't ready to think about what she'd written about Bobby. That was too much for her at the moment. She could only focus on one thing.
Alex took a moment to look around. This was such a beautiful place to live. Jenny had a house close to the lake, surrounded by woodland. For a child such a wonderful place to grow up. Abby was about to go through many changes. Was she willing to put the little girl through another big one by moving to New York? And could she live here? Away from her friends and family…, away from Bobby? Could she settle down here? She was no longer alone and Abby was going to be her first priority. She needed to be there where the girl was going to be happy.
Bobby watched his partner from the end of the garden. Jessica's mother had just picked Abby up and was going to take care of her. It would give Bobby and Alex time alone. He knew the lawyer had given Alex something, but didn't know what exactly. Judging from Alex's body language it was… heart breaking. He could see her take deep shuddering breaths and her shoulders still trembled. He chose to give her a few more minutes before going over to her.
TBC...
