ch2
A few hours later, I lay in bed staring up at Michael's bedroom ceiling; tears pouring form my eyes into his already soaked pillows. Not the pillows he was using, but the pillows he had lent me. Why had I trusted Josh so much? Why didn't I just listen to my friends? What am I going to tell Lilly, my MOM, all my friends . . . ?
Michael is the only one who's heard about it so far, and I can trust him not to tell anyone. I wouldn't be able to face Lily if she knew about it. Michael, on the other hand, was a totally different case. At least, last night he was. He made me feel like it wasn't my fault even though I knew it was. And it was so warm, all cuddled up in his arms and stuff, that I could hardly take my eyes off his nice ones. I soon found myself spilling out the whole story, before I could stop myself; Josh Richter had attempted to get me drunk and that too with drugs in it. Not that he had succeeded, though; I poured my drink into his friend's open backpack which had a box of condoms in it, I saw, before pretending to be all drunk. So, Josh Richter carried me over to his bedroom, and attempted to strip me down bare naked. And what he was planning to do after that, I may never know, because I'd ran for my life just before he could do anything. . .
. . . And ended up here, on Michael's bed. . .
I turned over, and looked at him sleeping on the couch, but he must've only been pretending, because his eyes fluttered wide open.
"Whassa matter? Can't sleep?"
"I'm scared, ", I muttered, hugging my pillows closer to my chest. Okay, not my pillows, the pillows he'd lent me.
"Of . . .?'
"Of him. And his friends. I can't go to school on Monday, Michael"
"You can't avoid him forever, you know. Don't worry; I'll be there with you."
"You will? Oh, Michael, thank you so much. And not just for this, thanks for being there. It would've been so much worse . . ."
His smile reached up to his eyes. It was one of those smiles that make you melt from the inside and go weak in the knees. Oh my God! I just realized that I love him more than I ever thought I did, if that was possible.
He was just there, just next to me, you know, and yet, so far away. I have heard that this was the worst way to miss someone. And now it looked so real, so true. It was hammering in my heart like crazy. I would've loved him to lie down beside me, in the empty space on this bed. But it was all so far away; he was so far away…
. . . and yet so close, I could've kissed him right there.
Why, you ask, why don't I just tell him about my feelings, if I think we would be so perfect together.
Because, I say, I haven't got the kind of nerve.
Anyway, I don't even think he likes me in that way. Grandmere would start some charitable organization or something, before that happens.
