For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1.
Chapter
2: A Kiss Is Just a Kiss?
(Daniel's POV)
Okay, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I walked in on Sam kissing Narim --or Narim kissing Sam-- but right now I don't have time to worry about that. Of course, not worrying about it is easier said than done because the truth is that no matter how hard I try I just can't get that image out of my head. Let's face it, given what I've seen Sam going through in these past three weeks, it wasn't something I was expecting to see.
Sure, the fact that Narim seemed to be fascinated by her had been more than a little apparent almost from the moment he regained consciousness but I never expected to see Sam responding... and I don't think she did either. In fact, going by the looks on both their faces, I would guess that it was Narim who initiated the encounter and probably caught her off-guard in the process... not that by the time I walked in on them she wasn't an active participant. I guess now the question is whether Sam responded because she reacted instinctively or if it was because it was something she wanted to happen at some level. That and what was it that led them to that point in the first place, of course.
I know that, even though I've grown very close to Sam in these past few weeks --and even though I'm more than a little curious-- this is none of my business. Still, in spite of that, as I try to make some sort of sense out of this whole situation, I can't help but feel like this time around I got to the theater half way through the movie and that is frustrating the hell out of me. I've seen enough to know what's going on in general terms but I have no context in which to frame the plot and right now I'm wondering what is really going on here. I am also wondering what the fallout is going to be and if Sam was ready for this or if this is something that is likely to come back to haunt us. After all, there's no denying that after these past three weeks of forced downtime that is a troubling prospect, especially because this was our first mission and we really can't afford a setback right now... I can't afford a set back.
I know in a way that sounds incredibly selfish but I can't deny that there's a part of me that is just itching to go back out there. After all, while I understand why we had to slow down to give Sam a chance to recover --and I certainly don't begrudge her that time-- I can't forget that each day we spend here is a day we are not out there, fighting the Goa'uld and looking for Sha're. I may be worried about Sam but at the same time I can't quite bring myself to ignore the fact that every day we are grounded is one more day in which my wife remains a prisoner in her own body.
I mean, from a logical perspective I understand that right now Sam has to be our top priority --after all she is here, she is hurting and she is both my friend and a member of my team-- but that doesn't mean I'm willing to give up my search for Sha're, just like I know Jack won't be giving up on his quest to find Skaa'ra any time soon. In that regard I guess the most pressing question is whether what happened today between Sam and Narim was a step forward or a step back. Unfortunately that is also a question that is easier to ask than to answer, especially while we are here at the mountain and Sam is stuck in military mode so --whether I like it or not-- it will just have to wait a while.
The problem is that, no matter how I look at it, this is a mess. Sam is one of my closest friends and, seeing how I've had a front row seat to everything she's been going through in these past few weeks, I am all too aware of the fact that we still have a long way to go. Things are nowhere near normal yet and --even though being insanely overprotective is usually Jack's job-- I am painfully aware that this whole situation with Narim has suddenly caused the ice to get dangerously thin around here.
Sure, Sam seems to be doing fine so far and Narim seems to be extremely gentle with her but from what I've seen of the Tollan I don't think they even have a word for rape. That should be deeply reassuring but oddly enough it is part of the problem... a very big part. It means that --even though I don't doubt Narim's intentions-- there's no way he can even begin to understand just what it is that Sam's been going through, not even if she were to tell him about it, simply because he has no frame of reference. That is what makes him so incredibly dangerous.
It is also what makes me look forward to him being gone... something that is bound to happen, one way or another, in a matter of minutes.
That part, at least, is fairly simple. Either the Nox make it here on time or they don't. If they do then the Tollan will ride off into the stargate, never to return, if they don't then Maybourne will get them and that would present us with a different kind of problem because the fate that awaits them is one I wouldn't wish on anyone. That would make putting this whole incident behind us that much harder for all of us, but especially for Sam.
I'm not sure what she feels for Narim, in fact I'm not even sure she knows herself, and that is one of the many unanswered questions that make it all but impossible for me to even try to predict the outcome of this one. Still, in spite of that I do know that --regardless of everything else-- right now she isn't ready to handle anything more than a kiss, in fact in spite of what I saw I'm still not sure she was ready for as much as a kiss and that is the real problem.
Author's notes: Hi guys, first of all, sorry about the delay. I thought I had a couple of chapters headstart but last weekend as I was getting ready to post I ran into an unexpected plot hole that had to be patched in a hurry. I'll try to do better next week but unfortunately chapter three has also been affected. I am already working on it though and hopefully it will be done on time.
Thanks for your patience and once again sorry about the delay!
Alec
