"Kagome, what do we have to remind ourselves about trauma in moments like this?" The voice was tender and sympathetic, but the command made the raven-haired beauty sigh.

"We subconsciously repeat what we don't consciously repair." Even as she spoke the words out loud, she couldn't help but emotionally scold herself. Just once, she wanted to be able to tell someone exactly what she had gone through, but instead, she had to do what she could with the embellished coverup story.

After all, the truth would never be accepted.

Traveling five hundred years in the past, fighting an evil that wanted to destroy the world, and hanging out with youkai would be a story that could quickly get her institutionalized permanently and for no other reason than her simply speaking the truth.

"So, in this dream...you dreamt about a...wolf?" The tone that her therapist held almost made Kagome want to laugh.

Instead, her lips tightened in a line, and she tried to find a way of how to explain the situation without sounding too crazy.

Well, here goes nothing.

"A wolf but also a man. In his form, he was someone I knew from long ago."

That had always been her safe way out—a way to talk about them without any negative repercussions.

Dreams.

Her therapist nodded and seemed to think for a while.

"Have you thought maybe these dreams are your way of trying to heal? Dreams are sometimes known to be there as a stepping stone. To move thoughts into actions."

It made sense.

Of course, it did. When had her therapist's words and advice ever been wrong? It had been the woman's success and helpfulness that kept Kagome coming back. Still, she couldn't help but wonder how long such assistance would continue. When would her therapist become wary of the topics she kept bringing up? How many conversations had they had now that were all in an attempt to mask her adventures and heal from the aftermath? First, there were nightmares about an evil that tainted everything. Then about a fox child. One by one, she found ways to talk about her companions and the struggles she went through.

To her complete and utter shock, the therapist never seemed to call her out on such topics. For two years, Kagome had visited her monthly, and while it had helped immensely with a magnitude of issues, she always worried about if she was crossing a line in terms of information. Yet, the woman beside her never seemed to judge or correct her with anything that she spoke about.

Instead, she was warm, encouraging, and understanding.

"This man, whom you knew in your past, may I ask what your relationship was?"

And just like that, Kagome Higurashi wanted to shut down the conversation. But she couldn't. She needed to get past this. She needed her help in figuring it out.

Her relationship?

With Koga?

Guilt swiftly set in as she thought of a reply to such a question.

"He was..."

The woman beside her nodded carefully and interrupted her.

"You don't have to answer if you are not sure."

But she wanted to. She owed both of them that much.

"He had feelings for me, but I didn't...really acknowledge them."

There. She said it. Even now, the guilt felt enormous, and she tried to remain composed. Had that been why she had thought of him? Because of the guilt of how she had unknowingly ended things?

"When you say acknowledge, what is it you mean?"

Kagome knew the middle-aged woman with the chestnut-colored hair was not one to put words in her mouth or assume, and so her statement came as no surprise.

In fact, she was ready for it.

"I think, no, I wish I could have given it a chance. He deserved it as well as myself. More importantly, he would have been healthy for me. I think...I would have been happy. If I had been more aware of what I needed at the time."

Such words gave her hope. It meant that she was growing and realizing her worth.

This was progress.

She was finally able to talk about mistakes that came from her decisions.

This was something she hadn't been able to do in the feudal era.

"The relationship I was in during that time was the one we spoke about previously.."

Relationship.

It had taken her a year to call it that.

A year of therapy to realize everything that had been wrong with it.

A year of exposing herself through storytelling to understand what it was that she had endured.

The gaslighting.

The emotional and verbal abuse.

The threatening words and behavior, the countering, the denial, and the accusing and blaming.

For her entire timeframe in the Feudal Era, she had put Inu Yasha on a pedestal. The whole time allowing him excuse after excuse. Hell, for a while, she just figured it was simply because he wasn't human.

But then, her therapy sessions had revealed something.

Koga had never once insulted her. He had never belittled her or hurt her beyond repair. Neither had Shippo. Hell, even Sesshoumaru had shown Rin respect. In fact, how many times had she witnessed others apologize for their mistakes and behaviors regardless of their race? If humans and Youkai alike could be respectful, why couldn't Inu Yasha?

That had only left her as the factor. With such a conclusion, she had realized that she had romanticized his abuse. Or simply not been aware of it.

How many times had Inu Yasha asked if she was stupid?

How many times had he insulted her or her intelligence?

How many times had she forgiven him?

In fact, she had lost count of how often he had compared her to Kikyo.

Or how he felt the need to remind her that she was flawed compared to his first love.

Then there was the fact that when Koga had first met and kidnapped her, Inu Yasha had even blamed her for enticing Koga and being way too friendly with him. When, in reality, it had been himself that was cheating with Kikyo.

With such a revelation had come the seeds of doubt and recalculation of past events.

Kissing, hugging, or holding Kikyo behind her back.

Or the time that Kikyo had tried to have her murder. What did he do? He showed up, and even though Kikyo herself had admitted that she wanted to murder her, Inu Yasha had still gone chasing after his first love.

Thinking back to that moment of realization, her therapist's words echoed in her head; "Tell me, would this man do all those things to the other women? His first love?"

It had been a vague question, but one she knew the answer to far quicker than she would have liked.

No, Inu Yasha had never spoken insults of Kikyo.

Instead, he complimented her every chance he could.

He had risked his team's life on multiple occasions to see to it that Kikyou was safe.

He had—

No.

She had to stop.

Shaking her head, she allowed such thoughts to no longer linger in her head.

She had fought this battle.

She had won.

She was past this.

"So the wolfman—" her therapist's voice brought her once more out of her thoughts.

Crap.

Right.

Koga.

"Can you reach out to him? See if there is a chance to start as friends at least? To talk?"

This time, she let out a sad smile and shook her head. How she wished she could reach out to him. To apologize for her disappearance. To explain what had happened. To let him know that even though it took her a while, in the end, his words had been understood.

"I see. I wonder, perhaps do you know what may have triggered this dream? Did something happen? Anything linked to such a memory?"

Instantly, her memories flashed back to days ago.

To the chat.

To the name.

She had even been so stupid as to reach out to the driver on file and have them leave a note. Possibly risking her job, she had all but demanded the delivery driver leave a note with the groceries. Thankfully for her, he had not put up much of a fight. Instead, he had simply nodded and allowed her the request.

A sticker.

She knew it was a lost cause.

But god, how she had hoped.

"Someone had his name." It really was so simple. But, at the same time, she had never noticed someone with his name before. Then, there had been the way he spoke. It was as if she could hear him through the chat actually speaking such words. Almost as if five hundred years hadn't come and gone.

"What would you say to him? If it was him? If he was here?"

What would she say?

She smiled at such a thought while concentrating on the question.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry. I'd tell him that sometimes people walk away for reasons that have nothing to do with others. I'd let him know that I think he brought up feelings that I was not ready to handle then."

She breathed a deep breath and, with it, congratulated herself.

This was growth.

She had come so far from where she started.

Apparently, her therapist seemed to think along the same lines because while silent, she wore a gentle smile with a proud face.

"I'm proud of you, Kagome."

Just like that, her session came to an end. Giving her ending greetings and scheduling her next appointment, Kagome turned off FaceTime and disconnected the therapy session.

Laying down in her bed, she glanced at the laptop that sat on her desk. Tomorrow she would have another short shift with the part-time customer service job she held. Briefly, she wondered if anything eventful would happen again. If nothing else, this pandemic was going to be the end of her sanity. Here she was, thinking that somehow, the wolf prince had survived all this time.

But, what if?

As her head hit the pillow, she allowed herself to relive the memories of the last conversation she ever had with the man that now plagued her thoughts.


The battle of Naraku was being prepared. With it came former companions and some past enemies. Around the fire stood their group along with Sesshoumaru, Jaken, Kohaku, and, of course, Koga, among a few others. The entire day, she had checked in on everyone.

Making sure they were ready.

Ready for war.

Just when she thought everything was handled for the night, she saw the wolf prince tilt his head in her direction in what seemed like a beckoning request. Meeting his eyes, she nodded at his unspoken call for her attention. Not wasting any time, Koga pushed himself off the tree and began making his way into the woods.

Once a wolf, always a wolf.

She let out a small smile as thoughts of Little Red Riding Hood came to mind. Here she was, following a wolf into the woods with no regard for her safety. But, she knew if nothing else, she was safe.

Especially with Koga.

Koga quietly stopped only a few minutes into their trek into the forest and glanced at her with wishful eyes. What was it that he wanted to speak to her about? Would he simply tell her to stay safe during the battle? Or would this be a final chance to declare his infatuation before the war began? Allowing thoughts and possibilities of what conversation would be ahead, she prepared herself.

Instead, the serious expression on the wolf prince let her know she was wrong in all her assumptions. No, this conversation was going to be serious. Just like that, no declarations of love came, and as Koga approached her, he seemed to consider his words carefully. Finally, he spoke.

"Kagome, are you alright?" It was strange. His voice was different than she had expected. Instead of the confidence it typically held, his tone now consisted of worry and hurt.

Why did the sounds of such emotion make her heart hurt?

Now, she wanted to know if he was alright.

But as her worry gathered, she realized something. She had asked this very question to every member of her team daily in the recent weeks.

Yet, no one had asked her such a thing back.

Until now.

Quickly panic filled her. If he was asking her such a thing, then did that mean that something was, in fact, wrong? Had she missed something important? Or was it simply that Koga sensed her constant panic in the last few days, unlike those around her?

Panic of 'what ifs' and what the future held.

Worry of if she would be able to help in this battle.

Frustration at not being more valuable.

Misunderstanding her silence for something else, the prince spoke in a hurt tone.

"You know, it doesn't matter how many people tell you that you're incredible, powerful, and amazing. All you hear is his words, and you doubt yourself."

He took a breath and continued.

"You shouldn't, you know. Doubt yourself."

With shock, she looked back at the wolf with a hint of embarrassment and disbelief. Was that why he was here? He sensed her mess of emotions? He knew of her frustration with herself and her abilities?

Briefly, her eyes softened. He had noticed something that no one else had. For a moment, she was thankful. Thankful for the kind words and his belief in her. To him, she could do no wrong. To him, she would always be a priority.

Sighing, she tried to let his words reassure her. Yet, the result of such a thing only accomplished the opposite and gave way for more doubt and guilt. What was she doing here? Why was she wasting time with such childish things as compliments? Weren't there more pressing matters? The battle to defeat Naraku was coming. She had to make sure everyone else was taken care of. After all, they would be doing the majority of the fighting—not her.

Right now, her feelings didn't matter.

Her insecurities were irrelevant.

As of reading her mind once again, the wolf prince shook his head in what seemed like understanding.

"Everything I want to say to you. It doesn't matter right now because you don't seem to be ready to hear it."

Huh?

Confused, Kagome tried to understand his meaning.

The wolf prince hesitated for a moment. Then, with a frustrated sigh, he began to speak again. This time with surety and a tone full of his usual confident self.

"So I'll say the only thing I can, Kagome. I'll be there for you. Instead of telling you that you'll be alright, I'll ensure it."

And just like that, she felt the tears well up as emotions overtook her.

Still, he continued.

"I'll be with you. Everywhere. Your voice in your ear to reassure you whenever you doubt yourself. You see that moon? When I can't watch over you, it will."

Gazing at the mention of the moon, she couldn't help but smile at his words. Had he always been this way? So wise? So thoughtful? So...sweet?

"Kagome, you deserve better. You know that—don't you?"

And with those words, she let the tears run down as she let out a laugh at his comment.

Did he know?

Did he know the constant battle of emotions she had been in this whole time? The doubt of her worth and accomplishments? The frustration at always coming in as second best? Unable to speak her thanks at his words when she needed them the most, she nodded silently in understanding while trying to slow her chaotic emotions.

The wolf prince smirked.

"If you'll let me, I'll follow you through anything and everything. Always."

With retreating footsteps and the swish of his high ponytail, Koga had left to prepare for the battle of Naraku without so much as a second glance. But at that moment, Kagome Higurashi promised herself that after the final battle, she would immediately approach this subject...and the emotions Koga had just brought out in her.

Maybe, after all of this was over, she would be able to understand why her heart was pounding and her chest hurt.

If only she had known that the Feudal Era would be gone from her grasp within the next day.