Thank you ShatteredDesire, Demus, im-a-daydream-believer, Dervla, sesshomaruhasafluffytail and Queen of the Paperclips. You're all lovely.

The A-Z Of Remus And Sirius

B is for Beginnings

Men can do nothing without the make-believe of a beginning.

-George Eliot, Daniel Deronda


It was just about as romantic as a thing could possibly be.

That first kiss, down by the lakeside, with the frost underfoot… Sirius had always known that kissing Remus would be something special but he had never even considered the feeling of warmth that would surface inside him or the softness of Remus' hair as he ran his hands through it for the first time.

Damn, he was really going to have to find out what shampoo that boy was using.

Not even in Sirius' wildest, craziest dreams had he imagined how good Remus would smell once you got close enough. Sort of like wood spice and coffee and dark chocolate and that wonderful shampoo.

So yes, all in all, Sirius had to admit that kissing Remus Lupin for the first time was pretty great. In fact, it was like waking up after twenty years asleep; like passing through the gates of heaven after a century in purgatory. Or perhaps it was more like entering a strip club after a decade in a monastery… Whichever way, it was bloody fantastic.

And then in an instant, a split-second, everything was ruined. In the time it took to blink an eye, Sirius had left heaven and bypassed purgatory for hell.

"Tell James?" he repeated, staring at Remus, an incredulous look on his face. "Why on earth would I want to do that!"

Remus' patience was wearing a little thin; after all, Sirius was currently staring at him as if a second head had just sprouted from his neck. "We should tell James because it's the right thing to do," he said. "He's supposed to be your best friend, Sirius. Why do you want to keep this – keep us – a secret? Are you ashamed of me or something?"

"No! I'm not ashamed! It's just…" Sirius ran a hand through his long hair. "I don't think he'll understand!" And after all, this was hardly fair. After nearly two years in love with Remus he'd been granted only one kiss, one brief glimpse at happiness, before it had been snatched away from him. "What if he hates us for it," Sirius said. "What if he hates us just because we – you know – love each other."

Remus gave a small cough.

Sirius swallowed. He hadn't intended to mention the word 'love'- not yet at any rate. And it sounded rather presumptuous to suggest that Remus loved him, especially considering the only vocal sign of affection he'd ever had from the werewolf was a rather husky "Do you know how sexy you are?" scarcely ten minutes ago.

Sirius swallowed again. Hard. He stared at the floor. His shoelaces seemed awfully fascinating… "I don't meant to say you're in love with me or anything," he mumbled.

"Well I am," Remus said matter-of-factly. Choosing to ignore the ridiculously huge grin that had suddenly plastered itself across Sirius' face, he continued. "And if you don't tell James about us, then I will."

"Right." Sirius nodded, still grinning like an imbecile. There really was no arguing with Remus Lupin... "Let's go inside," Sirius said. "I'm freezing."

They headed back slowly, almost reluctantly, as the frost crunched beneath their feet and the first flakes of snow began to fall.

"Do you really think James will understand?" Sirius asked. "I mean you don't think he'll be mad or hate us or anything, do you?"

"Of course he won't hate us." Remus' voice was soothing but still a little husky. "He knows what it's like to fall in love…"

There it was again: that love word shining like a newly minted coin, sparking in the air like electricity between them. Oh God and this was only the beginning!

Sirius edged closer to Remus, until their elbows brushed together as they walked. He could smell it again- the gorgeous scent of Remus."Moony?"

"Yeah?"

"What shampoo do you use?"