Thank you sesshomaruhasafluffytail, Demus, ShatteredDesire, im-a-daydream-believer, Nikufei, Kaythara, LuckyMoony, IcySapphire 15, Nina, DragonHunter200, skinnyrita, Queen of the Paperclips and Achava. You're all seriously great people. For the record if I told you what shampoo Remus uses I'd have to kill you straight after. It's a very closely-guarded secret. Oh, and I like all the guesses for what C could be! 'Curse-throwing' was probably the nearest!
The A-Z Of Remus And Sirius
C is for Cursed
The only cure for vanity is laughter, and the only fault that is laughable is vanity.
-Henri Bergson
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
-Oscar Wilde
Sirius Black was gorgeous.
He had long dark hair and a tall, lean, supple body; lightly tanned skin and dark eyes. It hadn't been so long ago when Remus, a book lover, had discovered that as he pictured the wild, tempestuous Heathcliffe or the brooding Mr Darcy in his head, he invariably pictured Sirius. There was just something about him that cried out 'romantic hero'or else 'Hollywood screen legend'…
…Something that screamed 'sex on legs'.
And Sirius was vain. He spent twice as much time in front of the mirror as James and almost three times as long as Remus. He posed and preened and spent half his inheritance on hair gel.
And all of this only made the situation worse.
"I'll kill the bastard. The slime ball. I'll kill him! I really will!"
Remus took Sirius' hand and squeezed it. "You won't be killing anyone, Padfoot. You're going to sit right here and relax, aren't you?" Remus forced a cup of tea into his lover's trembling hands. "Drink this: it'll make you feel better…"
"I don't need tea I need-"
"-To calm down." Remus settled his hands on Sirius' shoulders and began to gently knead the tense muscles. "Just relax, Padfoot."
Sirius groaned something that sounded suspiciously like "You're not my mother." He sipped his tea warily, as if half-expecting it to be poisoned.
"No, Sirius, I most certainly am not your mother!" Remus sighed. "In fact, I rather resent the implication that I'm anything like that… that… evil…"
"Bitch," James supplied. He slammed shut the book he was reading: 101 Curses And Counter-Curses. "Can't find anything," he said.
Sirius glanced over his shoulder at Remus. "I'm sorry, love. My mother is a slut and a whore and-" He turned to stare, wide-eyed, at James. "You can't find anything? What do you mean?"
"There's nothing in here, mate," James said. "I think you're stuck with it." He gave an apologetic smile.
Remus' voice was gentle and soothing, like whispers and shadows and cool hands in the twilight. "I think we'd better go to the infirmary, Sirius. We've checked every book we can think of…"
Sirius cup of tea clattered as it hit the floor. He rested his head in his hands, downcast and despairing. "Oh Christ. I can't leave the dorm… People might see and-" Sirius took several deep breaths. "I'M-GOING-TO-BLOODY-KILL-HIM!"
"It really doesn't look so bad," Remus said.
"Well I rather like it," James added. "I think Snapey has done a quite remarkable job."
"I can't be seen like this," Sirius moaned. He removed his head from his hands to look searchingly at Remus. "Moony, if you love me, tell me the truth. How bad is it?"
Remus gave his most reassuring smile. "I like your hair, Sirius," he said.
Sirius was somewhat less that amused. "It's pink, Remus! He's turned my hair... my lovely hair...PINK!"
