This chapter covers the events leading up to the first kiss in chapter two (B is for Beginnings). It's very fluffy! Also, I felt like writing in the first person for a change, so you should be aware that this is from Sirius' point of view. Finally, thank you, all my reviewers. I hope you're enjoying Advent!
K is for a Kiss
I stood up in the coach to talk to the driver. He was a little Sicilian from Catania, as beautiful as a line of Theocritus, resplendent, fragrant and delicious as a piece of fruit.
'Com' e bella la Signora!' he said in a charming way as he watched Marceline walk away.
'Anche tu sei bello, regazzo,' I replied. And as I was standing so close to him, and couldn't resist, I drew him towards me and kissed him. He merely gave a little laugh.
-The Immoralist, André Gide
I ran down the corridors, skidding wildly on the corners, grasping hold of anything I could reach; portraits, suits of armour… I fell, picked myself up again, ran on. And what did it matter? I was in love!
IN LOVE!
Don't you understand? I had wings to fly; I was standing on the shoulders of giants; walking on water; my very heartbeat echoing in the cavity of my chest, growing larger and larger, so red and - oh yes - so fucking alive!
I'd never felt like it before… I mean, I'd loved Remus for as long as I could remember, sure, but in that moment… Could I?
Could I dream? Yes. But then, I'd always been able to dream. Hot, almost feverish dreams that would start off normal and then suddenly I might be naked, or pressed against a wall, or have Remus's hands running all over my body… Or maybe all three at once. Oh yes. Crazy, sensual dreams that left me panting and spent.
Perhaps I could wish.
Oh God. Oh God, did I really dare to hope? Please, Remus, please! Say it. Go ahead and tell me you love me. Speak the words I need to hear.
He feels the same way, Sirius.
But how could Lily really be sure?
Women's intuition, you daft sod.
And I believed her; I believed her even as I left the castle and careered towards the lake. I was running like a first-class, grade-A idiot… But what did I care? I was in love…
…And absobloodylutely exuberant.
He was standing there, by the lakeside, with the wind in his hair and pink in his cheeks. His nose was slightly red – he'd had a cold that week – and if not exactly sexy, it was certainly cute.
"Hey," I remember saying, trying to be casual.
"Umm. Hi." Remus smiled and lifted a hand in a semi-wave. "You okay?"
"Sure."
We walked for a while, briskly because it was so god-damned cold. And Remus gave this sort of shiver – a full body shiver – and sighed. I wrapped an arm round his shoulders and pulled him towards me, so his head nestled beneath my chin.
"Regalus called me a queer," Remus eventually said. His tone was neutral.
"Takes one to know one," I said. And I grinned, a little wickedly, when Remus glanced up at me. "You must have heard the rumours…"
"No."
I lowered my voice. "About him and Snape…" I paused for emphasis. "And the broom cupboard."
Remus gave me a suspicious look. "You made that up," he said.
"Me? Lie? Never." I grinned at him but he didn't smile back. In fact, he frowned and managed to look thoroughly downcast. "Cheer up, Remmie," I said. "There are worse things to be called than-"
"I am a queer."
It was one hell of a moment, as I pulled away and stared at him, and he looked at the ground and refused to make eye contact.
"Look at me, please," I asked. My heart was beating even faster than before and my breathing was erratic. I felt so scared – terrified, in fact – and yet oddly reassured at the same time. Lily had been right about Remus in one respect and surely, well, if she thought he was in love with me then I had to trust her judgement.
"Look at me."
He was still staring at the ground.
"Remus Lupin, I am going to kiss you!"
That made him look up and gawk and then smile sheepishly.
I smiled back.
"Do you know how sexy you are?" he said, a little huskily.
"I have a vague idea…" I whispered, as I stepped closer to him and – with hands that trembled ever so slightly – pulled him towards me.
I remember him laughing slightly as he threw his arms around my neck.
And after that? Well, I think you can imagine the rest...
