CW:

Cleanup after being sexually assaulted, vulnerability

Summary for those who wish to skip this chapter:

Kyojuro meets Haru at their shop and learns what happens. He takes them back to his own home, and they start a bath together. Kyojuro blames himself until Haru reassures him.

I awoke to the sound of knocking on the shop's door.

"Haru? Are you in there?"

Kyojuro. I don't think I can see him right now. How late did I sleep? I don't want him to see me like this…I could just keep laying here, he probably can't see me.

"I can see your shoes."

Damn it.

I stood up groggily and checked the clock. 10:00am. Hours later than I normally open.

Damn it!

The relief that shone on Kyojuro's face through the window fell when I noticed the state I was in. I hobbled over to the door to unlock it for him. He held his hand out for the key, which I dropped into his palm. He closed the door behind him, locked it, and sat down on his knees on the floor.

"It looks like it may be easier for you to sit down?"

"Yes."

I all but collapsed to the ground where I stood.

"Sweetheart, what happened to you? Someone hurt you."

I couldn't talk. I laid fully down, putting my head in his lap and looking away from him.

"Would it be easier for you if I guessed?"

I tried to answer, but nothing came out. I nodded slightly.

"Was it someone who broke in?"

I shook my head 'no'.

"This was your father!?"

He sounded horrified. I nodded, barely able to muster that much.

"And it smells like…forgive me, but I have an extremely sensitive sense of smell. It smells like someone else's sweat. And…blood…and…possibly…"

I looked at him and nodded.

"To his own child?"

He looked like he was going to vomit.

"Please don't look at me that way, I'm sorry."

"No, sweetheart, you didn't do anything wrong. I am so sorry I could not protect you. You are not going back there alone, not ever again."

That was what broke the floodgates. I started crying so hard that I had to sit up so that I could get enough air into my lungs. Kyojuro leaned against the back wall and patted his lap. I sat sideways on him, with my legs across his lap and my head on his shoulder as I cried. He rubbed my back very gently, mumbling things like 'there, there, let it all out' and 'it is okay, you are safe now' until I was finished. I winced every time his hand passed over that spot where my dad's hand had been the previous night.

When I calmed down, he said, "Would you like to come to my house, so we can get you cleaned up? Then we will go together to get whatever things you need from your house. You will not be alone there for a single night ever again."

The mess on my mattress from last night flashed into my head.

I don't want him to see that…

I looked up into his hopeful face.

But what else could I do?

"Yes, please."

I sounded so hoarse. He stood up, then offered me his hand. After he helped me up, we left together. I leaned against him the whole way, and he tried to carry my limping weight as discreetly as he could. Even at our slow pace, we arrived very shortly at his home.

"Senjuro is out, with Miss Kiyo. I believe my father is still sleeping off his own late night."

I could feel myself start to panic.

"It is alright. Follow me here, let me draw you a bath."

He led me in though a few doors to a bathroom, then set me on the edge of the tub. I stared into space trying to calm my breathing, and in just a few moments the tub was full of steaming hot water.

"Now, I can either go or stay with you. It is your choice. Given what you have been through. I can understand needing space."

I thought for a second. The tub was unfamiliar. This house was so silent. I didn't want to be alone in this new place.

"Please, stay." I squeaked it out, embarrassed by how small my voice sounded.

"Gladly. Would you like help undressing?"

I nodded again. He very gingerly stood me up, then helped me remove my shirt. It was hard to lift my arms all the way up. He hissed, and I looked behind myself into the mirror. There were deep bruises from the middle of my back all the way down to the edge of my pants. He kissed my forehead.

"This will never happen to you again, do you understand? I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry."

I just nodded again, and started trying to pull my pants off. There was more…leakage…in them. It was mostly red, but some was still bright pink. He let out another hiss, then wrapped his arms around my shoulders and held me for a moment. Then he helped me step out of my pants, balled them up, and kicked them to the side. I stepped over the edge of the tub and into the hot water, leaning on his arm for balance.

"I would sit down slowly, okay?"

I carefully lowered myself into the water, feeling it sting against my raw skin.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go get you some of my clothes to put on after this. They will be clean."

I looked at him, panicked.

"Do not worry sweetheart," he kissed my head, "I will only be a minute. It is safe here."

I nodded, and he left. I felt every single second crawling by. It felt like days had passed, but it was probably only a minute or two. When he returned, my arms moved on their own to reach out for him.

"Oh, darling. Do you need some help?"

I nodded. I didn't even know what I needed help with, but I knew I couldn't be left alone again.

"I was planning to just sit here with you until you finished, but if you would like I can join you."

"Please?"

"Of course."

He removed his shirt and folded it, setting it next to what he had selected for me. He turned away from me to remove his pants, then folded them and set them down too.

"You are sure you want someone naked next to you so soon?"

"Is it too soon?"

"There is no standard for this sort of thing. It all depends on you and how you feel."

"Then yes, I'm sure."

"You can tell me if you change your mind, it is always okay."

He entered the water, sitting beside me. I curled myself to sit how we were at the flower shop, with my legs over his lap and my head on his shoulder. Now that there wasn't clothing in the way, he could see the full extent of the bruise he was rubbing earlier. I could feel him staring at it.

"Kyojuro?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I'm sorry for all this…I.."

My breath stuck.

"You do not have anything to be sorry for."

"I feel so dirty now, I don't feel like I deserve to be around you. You're too clean, too good, and I…I don't deserve help."

"I will not be without you."

We sat together quietly, then he continued.

"And you do deserve help. I cannot stand that I failed you, but it will not happen again."

"You didn't do anything, you couldn't have done anything. I was being 'punished'. If it didn't happen last night, he would just keep trying until it did."

"Punished for what?"

I couldn't tell him that. Instead, I bowed my head and settled under his chin.

I shouldn't have used that word. I'll be more thoughtful in the future. Please, let it go.

"Hey, Haru?"

His voice was thinner and more strained than I had ever heard it before.

"Yes?"

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Hm?"

"Punished for what?"

I was silent again, and then I heard him trying to control his breathing. Trying.

"Punished for…these?"

He traced his fingers along the marks he had left on my neck. I couldn't lie to him and say no, but I couldn't say yes, either. After several seconds of silence, he continued.

"That is it, is it not? Oh, sweetheart, I hurt you. I am why this happened to you. I am so, so sorry. I can never be sorry enough. I hurt you."

It was scary hearing him start to spiral.

"That wasn't you. And I still want you here. This isn't your fault."

"I have one calling, and it is to protect the weak. My selfishness caused you harm. I should go."

He went to stand up.

"Please, don't leave me. Please?"

He froze, half up and half down.

"But…"

"Please? I need you, Kyojuro. I can't do this alone anymore."

"I…are you really sure?"

I tried to pull him down into the tub again, but I was too weak to move him. He obliged me and sat down again anyway.

"Yes."

He pulled me close to him, and I felt more secure in that hug than I had felt since the day before.

"Then I will never leave you alone again."