Chapter 15

Meanwhile

Tommy was sitting in Studio A, behind the soundboard, waiting for his artists to give him a thumbs up to indicate they were ready to start. He sighed as his eyes watched them, but his mind wasn't here in the studio; it hadn't been for a few days. He'd been mildly surprised over Jude's outburst the other day; but now, he knew he should have seen it coming. He should have known she would want to complicate things further and he was at a loss as to what to do about it. He knew what he could do, but he was afraid. Afraid of how she made him feel and what the consequences would be if they hooked up. He knew he couldn't technically be arrested; Jude is over the age of consent, He'd made sure he knew that age back when he was in the band, but that didn't mean they wouldn't face public ridicule or corporate issues.

He knew he was over thinking, overanalyzing, but someone had to do it and it may as well be him. He was pulled out of his thoughts as the band members simultaneously gave him a thumbs-up. He signaled back and started the music and hit record in quick succession. The sad, violin music filled the air and Tommy turned his attention to the soundboard while listening carefully for any discrepancies in the lyrics, the vocals, and the back tracks he and Kwest had laid out earlier that week.

"I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
"

Tommy's mind flashed back to his thoughts of Jude. He couldn't help but think of how he hadn't seen her since that night two days ago and it seemed to get harder to keep brave-face with each passing minute.

"There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me
"

Tommy frowned slightly at the lyrics and sighed as he adjusted a setting on the soundboard. Stay focused Quincy. He thought.

"What hurts the most
Was being so close"

They were dating. He knew that. Yeah, it was for 'pretend' in an attempt to raise interest in Jude and her album that was about to drop but still. The actions? The feelings? They were real. He knew it; they were real to both of them.


"And having so much to say
And watching you walk away

And never knowing
What could have been
"

He stopped trying to focus on the work part of the song and sat back and listened to the lyrics. The song was eerily how he was feeling and he couldn't help but feel pulled into it. His mind flashed to Jude again and when she left. "I'm sick of falling for you and then…" were her last words. They played over and over again in his mind, as if in repeat, haunting his every action for the last couple of days.

"And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do
"

The whole 'act' he had been playing…it wasn't fake. Every touch, kiss, and look, they weren't as calculated as Jude thought they were. It was all genuine. He couldn't help but love her and her passion.

"It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It"

He was here wasn't he? He was at work, recording, going about life when he wanted nothing more than to have her back in his arms again.


"It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder"

Mason. That kid was making his life hell. Tommy knew Mason knew more than he was letting on, but he had to grit his teeth and pretend not to care when he wanted nothing more than to strangle his answers out of him.


"Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken"

If he could go back to that night…hell, if he could go back to her 16th…maybe even that time at the Vinyl Palace, he would tell her how he felt – feels.

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

The band finished and the music drowned out. Tommy just sat in his chair a moment, a thoughtful look on his face. He glanced up a moment and looked at the band before him.

"Tommy?"

"It's great guys…um, I gatta go." He said, forgetting to shut down the soundboard and rushing out of the studio. He sped through G Major and found Mason Fox in the lobby with Portia – probably talking about wardrobe for his tour. Tommy rushed over to them and grabbed Mason. "I need him a second." Tommy snapped to Portia and dragged Mason down the hall and into his office.

"Um…Tommy"

"Where's Jude?" Tommy asked, cutting to the chase.

"Don't know what you're talking about man." Tommy gave him a look that clearly said bull shit.

"Try again." Tommy said, his voice low and venomous.

"Look, man, I don't think she"

"I don't give a shit what you think." Tommy snapped. Mason's eyes widened. "You gonna tell me where Jude is or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" Mason stared at Tommy a moment, his eyes wide and fearful, trying to figure out if his producer was serious. Noting the serious look in Tom's eyes, Mason sighed.

"She's at her dads."

"Where?"

"Got a pen?" Mason asked as Tommy grabbed him a pen and a piece of scrap paper. Mason scribbled down an address and handed it to Tommy, slightly fearful.

"Thanks Mason." Tommy said before rushing out of his office. He only had one thought on his mind. He had to talk to Jude.