Emotionless Ideal
Dear readers,
Thank you for stopping by and reading my story. This week has been a lot. So let's continue right here with our next chapter, one of my all-time personal favorites!
By the way, are you also LIVING for the last episode of Tokyo Mew Mew? Cause I sure as hell am! I cannot believe that we finally have it out there, and done so dramatically at that! I was totally amazed at what emotions that kiss scene triggered in me after so many years! A-g-a-i-n haha. The feels, the feels. Nothing has changed. Kishigo forever! I know for a fact now I will be super peeved when the anime finishes, unless the writers decide to pair Ichigo with Kisshu in the end because even if Masaya looks a little better in the remake he still seems like a total waste of time and space to me. And, if they don't? Well, that is why I am on these portals, I guess; to change the canon's trajectory and vent out my own personal frustration with the utterly unsatisfying ending hahaha.
Additionally, I intend to write another story once The Road to Perfection is finished. More mature, dark, gore, whatever you will, wherein Kisshu and Ichigo will be still fighting each other. Why is the remake so inspiring?
As for my music background for this particular segment, it was a tie between Rihanna's 'Rockstar' and DaBaby's 'Masterpiece.'
DrDark7 – Thank you for your comment! I am glad that you enjoyed the last chapter. Yes, one of the character traits that I really like about Ichigo is the fact that she is a fighter, which shall be also reflected in this fanfiction. Get ready for more emotional input!
Kishlover985 – Thank you for your comment! I am happy to hear that you enjoyed the last chapter so much and I am sorry that I made you cry. Sorry and happy at the same time, because it makes me feel like I managed to deliver the emotions I intended to convey. And, worry not, we are not ending just yet! In fact, we are slowly reaching half way of the story.
James Birdsong – Thank you for your comment! I am glad that you still enjoy reading my fanfiction! These couple of chapters are what I like best about this story, so I hope you will like them as well. Let me know your thoughts!
NeKoGirl – Thank you for your comment! I am happy that you enjoyed the last chapter. And, yes. I had a feeling you would like the scenes between Ryou and Ichigo. They really are good friends, are they not? Mint is, by the way, my second favorite Mew right after Ichigo. Her bond with Ichigo in this story is especially strong!
SugarMischief – Thank you for your comment! I am glad that you enjoyed the last chapter and I am sorry that I made you cry. It is getting rather emotional, is it not? Part of me is very sorry, but, simultaneously, I am happy to see that this fic does inflict some kind of emotions/reactions in people because that way I can tell that I managed to deliver! Let me know your thoughts about this chapter too!
As always, please enjoy and review!
I do not own Tokyo Mew Mew
"Ichigo, are you really sure that you don't want to play water polo with us? The water feels just amazing!" Lettuce's voice held a touching note of concern but not touching enough to destroy Ichigo's resolve.
Yesterday, she had sworn and made a conscious promise to herself that she would no longer pursue the object of her longing and, instead, steel her nerves into full control of her situation. This specifically included, but was not necessarily limited to, no more tears, no more drama and no more Kisshu in her life. Ichigo had decided that she would once and for all stay put, really put. And by put, she meant away from all the trouble and away from anyone, even if it meant depriving herself of fun in the process. That was why she had been lying on a completely secluded summer bed, surrounded merely by a line of palm trees, brooding over the paradoxes of her miserable existence, while watching her friends splash each other with joyful screams from a distance.
They were all outside on the beach, enjoying yet another beautiful day on Cyclonia, minus Mint who had stayed true to her word and eloped on her secret date with her Cyniclon admirer. Even Taruto showed up and Ichigo had to fight the urge to stop laughing at how completely embarrassed he was whenever Pudding got too close to him.
How cute.
"What are you smiling about, old hag? Aren't you a little too old to be out in the sun?"
Ichigo bit back her initial instinct to tell him off instantly, as a sudden plan formed in her mind and the corners of her mouth curled upwards. Glancing upon her slightly open beach bag, she grinned wickedly and retracted one of the tiny bottles from its insides.
That should serve him right.
"Hey Pudding," Ichigo stood up and waved at the blonde girl in the water to catch her attention. "You should put some more sun screen on your back, because the sun is really strong now. Luckily, Taruto here gladly offered to help you with that."
The reaction on the little alien's face was instantaneous; he had not even had time to get furious before his face reddened to the identical shade of tomato.
Pudding, all perked up at the idea, shot out of the water like a racket and sprinted towards the very amused Ichigo and one still very much flustered Cyniclon.
"I'm gonna kill you for this," she heard Taruto hiss through his gritted teeth as he snatched the bottle from Ichigo's hands and began to apply the product on Pudding's back.
Seeing she was of no more use, Ichigo lay back down on her sun bed with possibly the most gigantic grin on her face.
"Careful, Taru-Taru, make sure you don't miss any spots. I don't wanna look like a zebra," Pudding chided and Ichigo could practically see Taruto's growl, even though her eyes were already closed.
"Shut up, I'm working on it, alright?!"
Life was good.
"Oh, did I wake you up? Sorry."
But from the looks of it, he was not sorry at all.
It must have been due to her half state of drowsiness that Ichigo had not screamed when Kisshu materialized in front of her out of thin air.
Once the reality kicked in though, it was an entirely different story.
"K-Kisshu," she sqeaked, happy with the fact that her Ray Bans were polarized, shielding her embarrassment at least partially from his sight, "what are you doing in here?"
The look that he gave her was one of incredulity mixed with confusion and she immediately felt like a complete idiot.
There you go, Ichigo. No wonder, he is marrying Yuri! She would never say something so stupid.
"I came to retrieve Taruto, actually," Kisshu replied, "but he seems to be having so much fun. I feel almost bad," he chuckled, glancing at the figures in the water.
Zakuro and Lettuce just won against Pudding and Taruto, sending the younger duo straight under the water level. Ichigo could not help but follow his line of vision and upon seeing it, her lips twitched up in similar fashion.
"They're sorta cute, aren't they?" Kisshu said, his eyes never leaving Pudding's squealing form.
"Oh, if you think this is cute, you should have come earlier. I made Taruto put sun cream on Pudding's back. That was cute and hilarious," Ichigo snickered at the memory and Kisshu could not contain his own laughter.
"You don't say," he flashed her with a grin and Ichigo felt her knees go weak as a direct response to his gesture.
It was a good thing she was still lying on the sun bed. That meant she could not fall, or she at least hoped so.
When Ichigo all of a sudden realized that she was wearing nothing but her swimsuit on her, she let out a high-pitched shriek and covered her body with her hands, her face very reminiscent of Taruto's.
The pink two piece bikini set no longer seemed to be covering enough and it likewise did not help that her cat ears and tail had made an appearance.
She saw Kisshu shift his attention onto her and she swallowed hard when his muscular arms met with her flushed face. In his violet and blackish military uniform, he looked good.
Damn him!
"What's the matter?" he asked genuinely puzzled by her antics.
"It-ït's nothing," Ichigo stammered, wishing that he would just drop the topic so that her pulse could calm down back to normal.
Tough luck.
"You would tell me if something was on your mind, right?" she felt his fingers brush under her chin and she could not help but melt into his touch. As their eyes locked, she knew she was done for. If somebody killed her on the spot, she would die blissfully happy.
He is engaged, getting married! Wake up, Ichigo!
"E-eh," Ichigo managed before her resolution took over and she smacked his hand away, sitting upright.
"You should NOT touch other girls so freely, Kisshu! What would your fiancé think about that?" she sneered and crossed her arms in defense.
Kisshu's eyes widened in realization before his grin spread further down his face.
"Even if they are my favorite toys?"
Was he mocking her?
"You jerk," she wanted to slap him but Kisshu stopped her effort mid-air.
"I'm sorry, Ichigo. That was out of line. Old habits die hard, you know. Don't hold it against me," he said and his shoulders slightly slumped, which made the Mew Mew contemplate that maybe he was actually not that satisfied with the current state of his life either.
Ichigo was fully aware that she should simply ignore this thought; yet, with no real conviction that anything could possibly happen between them, she decided to put her theory to the test.
"You're no fun anymore," she sighed with mock exasperation in her tone.
As expected, that got his attention, if the glint in his eyes could serve of any indication.
"You sincerely do not believe it. Kitten, you're hurting me," he pouted, feigning offence, but that obnoxious smirk of his with the combination of the pet name he had used provoked both her, as well as her curiosity, even more.
So we are back to kitten, now?
Ichigo's eye angrily twitched and she moved her hand up and slipped her sunglasses off to reveal her prominent scowl. She was determined that she would not give him the time of the day and let him toy with her any longer. If anything, she would be the one having the upper hand in this game from now on. After all he had put her through, it was high time to give him a taste of his own medicine.
She stood up, her stance slightly widened, and clenched her sunglasses firmly in her hand.
"Then prove it, Kisshu," Ichigo challenged, "Prove it to me that you're the old Kisshu I know. Because if the old Kisshu I know were here with me, and with my current state of undress, I am sure that talking would be the very last thing we would be doing right now."
A light breeze blew over them, tousling their hair from side to side, as the little ever changing cloud formations drifted overhead lazily. It was convenient that they were on the beach because, in case she needed to force down her anger quickly, the sea represented an immediate relief to Ichigo's psyche. The hot sand was burning into her feet but it was nowhere close to the scorching sensation that Kisshu's stare produced on her nerves. None of them said anything for another moment or two, the challenge still hanging in the air, but Ichigo refused to look away because she wanted to take him all in. His defiance, the unresolved conflict, that utter disrespect with which he had been torturing and harassing her for the past few days; she wanted to see everything play out across his features; and, she wanted him to suffer as much as she had suffered because of those stupid feelings she was harboring for him.
She hated him. She hated him so much for that; for what he had reduced her to and how easy it was for him to inflict both pain and passion into her simultaneously. He even did not have to do or say anything; he could only stand close to her and that was sufficient enough for her mind to scream in ecstasy from the pure physical proximity. Did she have any masochistic tendencies she should be conscious of? Because just by watching him up close, she once again experienced the feeling as though her body was being steadily stretched, tightened and pulled unbearably taut.
When she saw him suddenly edge closer, her breath hitched in her throat at the possibility that he was really going to kiss her. He had been studying her intently, his eyes partially obscured by his emerald bangs and she felt her resolve momentarily wavering under his heated gaze. But she could not let his invasion of her personal space affect her, even if it made her somewhat uncomfortable. This was her one time opportunity to turn the tables, so she had better make a good use of it while she still could.
With her attention flickering between his intense stare and his mouth, Ichigo could tell that she had to push a little furtherto gain the desired effect on Kisshu. She noticed with satisfaction how his pupils slightly widened, when her tongue darted out and moistened her lips. She just had to keep on prodding.
"Isn't this what you want?" his shoulders stiffened at her words and the glare he shot her way was absolutely murderous.
It made Ichigo secure in her former belief that whatever she was doing was working. She knew that she was acting silly and immature, but right now it felt like the most gratifying act in the world. Ichigo wasn't entirely sure what would happen; she didn't even know what she wanted to happen but she was fully aware of her effect on him and this pleased her far more than it should have.
Come on, Kisshu. How does it feel to use your own game against you?
Smirking at his growing outrage, she mentally cheered in victory. One little push; that was all he needed for his façade to crack. One push.
Except that Kisshu was far from losing, if his next move could provide any point of reference.
Ichigo felt her feet rooted to the spot when he moved even closer and she was confronted with his mouth mere inches from her own. Now that she had him literally in her face, she was unable to look away, entirely captivated by the brilliant glimmer of his golden orbs.
"You're playing with fire, Ichigo," he murmured, his velvety tone caressing her skin, as his smugness resurfaced.
Kisshu's head tilted almost imperceptibly to the side and Ichigo felt as though her heart was going to burst from her rib cage when his warm breath reached her lips. Her voice seemed to be caught in her throat and she desperately tried to fight the urge to lean in and kiss him. She understood by then that she had lost. There was no denying that. She could not fight him; now she was fighting herself, and her primal instincts that commanded her to let go and immerse her body in the rapid flare-up of passion.
The only thing her mind could think of was how incredible it would feel to have his lips on hers. There was no need to resist anymore. She did not want to resist, nor to wait for the electrifying sparks that were bound to happen once they touched.
Clenching her fists so hard that she could feel the sunglasses pricking her hand, she at last gave in, slipping her eye lids shut in anticipation of what was sure to be the most amazing kiss she had ever experienced.
She waited, her breath trembling for his lips to brush against her, and waited, and waited, and waited.
But it never happened.
Slowly, Ichigo cracked one of her eyelids open to see where the problem was and immediately wished she didn't.
There was no kiss in progress and there couldn't be, because Kisshu had not moved an inch. In fact, he stared at her even now, his gaze glazed and calculating, any marks of his previous playfulness gone and his usual nonchalance off-beat.
With her cheeks flushed and mouth slightly agape, it took Ichigo a second to recover and narrow her sight at him for his lack of reaction. And, when she finally saw that his eyes glossed over and hardened soon afterwards, Ichigo closed her own eyes in defeat and exhaled sharply. Why did she even think she would succeed in getting a rise out of him? How naïve of her! Well, at least she tried.
Pulling back and sticking her chest out, she gestured with her free hand at Kisshu and gave out a snide sneer.
"See? Just what I thought," she taunted, "It looks like old habits don't die hard after all."
Ichigo had not the faintest idea whether it was the tone, the words, or the mockery of her comment but she was definitely not ready for what was about to follow. Something in him must have snapped in that moment because his features instantly darkened and his eyes went ablaze with immediate effect.
She felt her sunglasses unexpectedly slip through her fingers, falling somewhere onto the sand, when his hands aggressively grasped at her face and he slammed his lips onto hers as he pushed her into the tree behind her roughly, her back hitting the bark with a loud thump. She was concious that her skin would be bruised tomorrow but that was hardly of any concern of hers as of yet.
All that mattered now was his tongue, his lips, his teeth, his hands; she wanted it all.
And it felt like everything she had imagined, apart from the fact that it was ten thousand times better.
Briefly, she wondered why he could not be a lousy kisser, since that would make it all easier to stop at once. But he wasn't and Ichigo could not help but think that Kisshu had without doubt engaged her in what must have been the most sensuous and intimate make out session she had ever had. He picked up exactly where they had left off on Earth. But there was nothing cute or sweet about the way he was currently kissing her. No. It was not light, soft or cute; the way how he was kissing her now was desperate, forceful and passionate beyond any restraint of self-control, as though he was determined to taste every inch of her before the spell was broken.
When his hands found her sides, he pushed her even harder against the palm tree and she looped her arms around his neck pressing her body further against his.
Oh. My. God.
She didn't want him to stop; she would let him do anything to her; have his way with her even in broad daylight, as long as he did not stop with setting her whole body on fire.
The moment his lips crashed down onto hers again, she knew that whatever she had been feeling ever since she had come to Cyclonia was real. That all these feelings were not only in her head and by the way his body moved against hers, he must have felt it as well and was fully intending to ravish her then and there.
The longer he continued with his administrations on her lips while his hands kept sliding up and down and grabbing the exposed skin of her body, the quicker her breathing came out.
Now it was her turn to clutch desperately at his shoulders and gasp when his tongue licked her lips, begging for access. And, when she opened her mouth at last, to protest or subdue, Ichigo could no longer tell, she caught her breath, which was everything it took for Kisshu to slip his tongue in to taste and explore her, probing, caressing and intertwining just as aggressively.
She fisted her fingers in his uniform and arched her head back with a whimper when he redirected his attention of his tongue and teeth onto her throat. His lips slid down the porcelain skin of her neck, leaving tiny red marks all over the naked skin, nibbling and sucking on it eagerly, as his hands found her thighs and gripped them with pressing urgency. A slight shudder ran down her spine, when he hoisted one of her legs around his waist, supporting her form against the tree, with the intention of getting even closer.
The heady images of what she wanted him to do to her were clouding her mind and it did not take long until the first moan slipped through her lips. She briefly paused to check if he would stop as abruptly as the last time when her body had betrayed her during their sparring match. But this time, it was different. This time, he relished in her moans and cries; whenever any such pleasant sound escaped her mouth, he touched her harder, faster, as if praising her body for reacting to his touch with such ferocity. And, when his mouth recaptured hers and his hand grazed over her inner thigh, she heard herself openly moaning into the kiss. She was so excited, she could not contain herself. She wanted him so bad; which is probably what spurred her into sticking a hand underneath his jacket to explore the exquisite feeling of his firm abdomen muscles against her fingers until she reached the waistband of his pants.
That was when he stopped dead.
"Ichigo," he rasped with significant difficulty when he slowly pulled back and she felt the warmth immediately leaving with him.
The air around them became strangely quiet once again, save for the sound of their heavy panting, as they both tried to catch their breaths. Kisshu rested his head on her shoulder and neither of them moved or spoke for a long moment.
It took a while until he finally pulled back altogether and looked her in the eye.
"Kisshu?" Ichigo managed nervously, the need for him still crystal clear in her gaze.
At last, he snapped back to reality and his pupils returned to their normal size.
Closing his eye lids, he inhaled a sharp breath through his nose before he spoke.
"I am sorry, Ichigo. I can't. Please forget that it ever happened. It was a mistake. I am sorry."
Ichigo stood frozen in place, eyes wide, still unable to process the most recent events around her. She continued to stare dumbstruck until the true meaning behind his words ultimately hit her and she knocked shoulders with Kisshu, as she bounded to the sea shore, without as much as glimpsing in his direction.
He called out something to her retreating back, but Ichigo paid it no heed.
"Hey, hag, so you finally changed your mind about the little swim?"
She pushed past Taruto wordlessly and dived straight into the cold underwater world, enjoying the prickly feeling it caused on her body. A part of her perceived it as somewhat weird, since her Iriomote genes should not have found the cooling sensations satisfying at all. But, to Ichigo, the sea at that time held the comfort than no other place on the surface could at the present moment; it effectively blocked all the voices and sounds in her ears, draining their existence out of her system. She knew now that there was no point of trying. After what had just transpired between them, there was no way that she could switch back onto the road to the disciplined, emotionless ideal that she had once come so close to achieving. It was then that she felt that drowning was, after all, not such a bad option; it would at least mean that she would not have to deal with Kisshu ever again.
So much for keeping a low profile.
