A/N: Sorry that this took awhile, but school started up and I've been really tired. (I'bve almost fallen asleep during at least half of my classes). But I sat down today and inspiration struck me and I wrote... uhm yay?
Thanks for the comments, it's good to know that at least a few besides myself are enjoying these.
I don't own Bleach, ya hear?
Chapter 9… Memories and Dreams
Memories and dreams. They were weird things really if you think about it, at least in Renji's opinion. Sometimes, they were the same thing. It was weird, they existed in variations, there were good dreams, good memories, bad dreams (nightmares) and bad memories. It was odd how they could be connect and yet completely different.
He'd always liked dreams really, they were nice and it was a way to escape reality and life (death) without it affecting it at all. And he'd heard awesome stories about people predicting the future in their dreams, which would've been awesome really. However, Renji didn't especially believe in those stories anyways. He firmly believed that no one knew the future for real.
Memories were both good and bad, sometimes you wanted to remember the good things but sometimes you just really wanted to forget things that had happened to you. Renji remembered how he grew up in Rukongai with Rukia and their friends, those were good memories, but he also remembered his friends dyeing, those were the bad ones.
Sometimes, Renji couldn't separate his dreams from reality; sometimes they were too close, too similar, too real… It was hard sometimes, he couldn't always be sure that things really had happened, or if he'd just dreamed them. It was confusing, and sometimes almost frightening, he just didn't get it.
Renji sat up startled awake, cold sweating panting harshly with wide eyes. The cold sweat was flooding down his bare back dripping onto the futon. A nightmare. It had been terrible, that was for sure, it wasn't really clear what it had been about, he couldn't remember it too clearly.
He'd been in a dark room, not seeing much really, until he'd looked down on his hands, they felt wet somehow and something was slowly running down on his lower arms as he lifted his hands to look at them, and he knew it wasn't water. And when some small candles lit up, Renji saw his hands covered in crimson blood.
Startled he took a step back, oh god. Then he looked up, he couldn't see the other person's face clearly, but he knew instantly that he knew the other person, and rather well at that. The other was bloodied and bruised, deep cuts on his body. Renji felt turmoil of feelings, anger, fear, self-disgust and so much more he couldn't completely identify.
The other fell to the floor, his eyes locked on Renji and they seemed like they couldn't believe this, his face was written with confusion, pain and fear and when he hit the ground, that was when the lights flashed, and on the walls around them, there were writings in blood. "It's you fault!" "You did this!" "His blood is on your hands!" "How could you!" "Monster!" "You betrayed him!" Renji spun around in the room, it was filled with accusations like that on the walls, written in blood, he screamed.
That had been when he woke up screaming, shaking and drenched in cold sweat. He couldn't go back to sleep, not after that, no way. Not a chance in hell. He got up from his futon and sneaked out of the Urahara shop and out in the cold December night. What the hells had that dream been about? It had terrified him beyond comprehension, and he didn't know why. All he knew was that it'd been awful.
The next day, he met up with Ichigo and Rukia in the park. He had the urge to tell them about his dreamed, but for some reason, he didn't dare to speak about it. Ichigo had dark circles under his eyes, but Renji hadn't noticed them until Rukia had asked him about it. Ichigo had shifted slightly before answering.
"It's nothing… I've just had the same nightmare over and over the last couple of nights…" Renji looked at him, Ichigo had been having nightmares? He'd just had one himself, but it had been enough to keep him up pretty much the rest of the night, trying to remember whose face it was, whom he, in his dream, had betrayed.
"… Want to talk about it?" Rukia asked, and looked worried at her bright haired friend. Concern visible in her face. Ichigo looked at her, and then he sighed and nodded slightly.
"Well… It starts with me being in a dark room, I can't see anything… then I start hearing these cutting sounds, and I feel something slicing my skin, shredding might be the right word though… next thing I know, blood is running down most of my body, and someone's standing in front of me, looking at his bloodied hands. I… I don't remember who it is, I just know that I know that person, rather well too, not just a mere acquaintance, but more along the lines of a friend, he looks at me then, he looks angry afraid and self disgusted at the same time. The pain gets too much and I fall to the floor, I'm confused and I can't believe that someone I know has done this to me, it's weird… I felt betrayed actually… then I hit the floor and the room flashes, but I can hardly see anymore, the last thing I hear before I wake up is that the other person screams…"
Renji flinched and fell of the bench. The memories from his own nightmare flooded back into his head, however, the other person had a face now, and it was painfully clear who it was… it was Ichigo. He shook his head, almost desperately trying to get the images out of his head, damn nightmares! Damn memories of nightmares!
The two others looked at him; their faces showed that they wanted to know what the hell was going on hit him. Renji got back up on the bench and looked away when he answered "It was me…" The two others looked confused, but then it dawned on Ichigo, and his mouth fell slightly open as his eyes widened slightly, Rukia however, still looked clueless.
"I… I had a similar nightmare last night… only… I was the one looking at my hands… I had betrayed and killed my friend… I couldn't remember the face when I woke up screaming but… when you said it… I did remember… it was you Ichigo… in my dream… I betrayed and killed you… you fell to the floor, looking at me… before the room flashed in light and the walls… so many messages written in blood… 'It was your fault'… 'You did this'… 'Monster'… all over the walls… that's when I screamed and woke up…"
The other two were silent, the two apparently connected nightmares had put a damper on the day, and dark clouds were rolling over the sky. No point in staying here. Ichigo invited Renji back to his house along with him and Rukia, but Renji said no, he felt bad about the dream, so he went back to the Urahara shop in which he was staying, and sat in the doorway watching the rain instead.
Dreams were wonderful, they really were, but nightmares could go to hell. And memories… they were only good when you wanted them, but right now, Renji wanted to forget.
Owari
A/N: Yep... t'was it. don't hurt me if it's crappy and doesn't make sense, it was a spur if the moment thing. oh and... cookies to those who reviewed.
