A/N: Unfortunately, I still own nothing.

TOMMY

I clean up slowly, still a bit sensitive and really in no big hurry to go face Zedd.

I don't care what he said about this being normal, it's not, it can't be. After all I wasn't even thinking of anything sexy at the time. I was making food for crying out loud! And Pina, oh man, she just had to come back in at the worst time ever. And her questions, always with the questions. What's wrong? How can she help? Am I okay? Am I hurt? What happened? What happened indeed. There was no way I was going to tell her what happened - I was embarrassed enough.

I know I don't have access to a lot of my memories, but like I told Zedd I'm pretty sure that what happened isn't normal and the idea that Pina might have to do more tests because of it is not a happy one.

Sighing heavily, I redress and hope that Zedd does the laundry and that only because he already knows about it. Remembering that Zedd said we'll talk, I frown. What is there to talk about? I definitely don't want to talk about what just happened if that's what he's got in mind. Not to mention I doubt he's ready to talk about what upset him so soon. Or well, maybe he is - we are friends after all, right?

Something about that sticks in my head and I frown again. I can't remember ever being friends with him. Actually I can't remember even seeing him before he came and rescued me. Irritated once more at my memory problems, I stalk out of the room determined to at the very least ask him just how and when we became friends.

I'm almost to Zedd's room when some sound catches my attention. I freeze and listen carefully. I hear it again and it seems to be coming from Pina's room. About to go see if she's all right, I'm stopped by a flash of blinding pain in my head. As it fades, a memory surfaces.

I can hear the voice in my mind as clearly as if the speaker were right in front of me. "Oh, Tommy, God yes just like that." In my mind's eye, I can see the darkened room and the blonde woman beneath me, smell her perfume, taste her creamy skin on my lips, and feel the tight wet heat around me.

"Kat."

The memory of the tall shapely blonde disappears just as quickly as it came, leaving me staring at the floor and once more a bit uncomfortable in my clothing. No more, not today, please just not today.

As I regain my senses, I realize that I'm kneeling on the floor, hands pressed against my head. Slowly, I pull myself to my feet using the wall for balance. "Okay, I'm okay. Just have to take a breath and-"

No sooner do I try to settle myself down than Zedd's door flies open and he steps into the hall. Seeing me, he crosses to me quickly taking me in his arms for support. "Thomas, are you all right? What happened?"

"A memory returned. I think that triggered it." I wave my hand vaguely in the direction of Pina's door, which is still unfortunately allowing several 'interesting' sounds to escape.

Glowering at the door for a moment, he turns his attention back to me before I can really question his unhappiness. "Dare I ask what sort of memory it was?"

Unsure of just what to tell him, not really wishing to go into too much detail, I give as basic an answer as I can, hoping it will get my point across. "Kat."

The one word earning me first a confused look, followed quickly by an annoyed one, he finally rolls his eyes. "Oh her."

"You know her?" Getting a nod in response he slowly lets me go, taking a step back from my personal space, which only makes me all the more curious. "She was my girlfriend?"

"Yes, I suppose you could call her that."

Unsure of why he doesn't seem to happy with the subject, I push a bit to try and find out, as from what little I can remember about her, she was nothing but nice to me. "Did you not like her?"

Heaving a sigh and shaking his head he finally answers in a way that only gives me more questions. "I liked her more than the first one, let's just say that - at the very least she did not put you in danger on a constant basis." First one?

Still fairly confused but knowing this isn't a subject he seems to like I try for humor as I respond. "Well at least I know I wasn't a virgin before I went to rehab."

Taking this in Zedd grins at me for a moment before shaking his head and moving back towards his room. "Come on. Let's get out of the hall before they set off another memory."

Following him back to the room I sit on his bed, crossing my legs, and watching as he returns to the desk his computer is on along with the nearly empty plate. I wait for him to speak first, knowing it won't be until he's done. Although, with the speed he's eating, I probably won't have long to wait.

Five minutes later, he sighs, pushes the plate back and turns to me. He fixes me with a look and I know that this is going to be a serious conversation.

"Thomas, I have something I need to tell you and it's not exactly good…"

Swallowing hard and recalling the last conversation I had with Hayley at the hospital I give him a desperate look, praying this isn't going to be like that. "Am I in trouble? Is it cuz of what happened in the kitchen? Or how I did on the tests? I can do better I promise."

Frowning, he shakes his head slowly. "No, no it's nothing like that, you're not in trouble Thomas, this isn't your fault it's, well it's sort of mine actually." Rubbing his neck, he takes a heaves a small sigh seeming to be thinking very hard about what to say next. "I truly have no idea how to explain this to you, but I'm going to do the best I can. I'll tell you what I can and I'll answer any questions you have after. Okay?"

I nod, feeling a bit calmer now that I know I'm not about to be sent away again, and wait patiently while he decides where to start. Finally, he takes a breath and begins.

"This afternoon, Pina told me that I have a condition that, unfortunately, affects you as well. I don't know how it happened, but she tells me that I'm bonded to you." Bonded? What on Earth is that? Like with glue?

"I don't understand what that means."

"I didn't think you would. The best way I can explain it is to tell you that sometimes my people bond with others. They aren't necessarily mates-" At my confused look he corrects himself with a better word I understand all too well. "-lovers." Ah. "Sometimes just very close friends."

"Best friends" I say aloud, not meaning to. "Kind of like-" I pause, grasping for the term I want. Finally, it comes to me as I recall something Pina had said earlier about her and Dar. "Soul mates."

Zedd considers this for a minute before nodding slowly. "I suppose so, but, Thomas, it goes even further than that. Bonded pairs can feel each others emotions and occasionally, if the bond is strong enough, their thoughts." See thoughts? Trying to understand this I turn over what he's said in my mind for a minute before answering slowly.

"So you and I are bonded?"

He nods. "Pina thinks so." And I guess you do too if you're telling me all of this.

"And because of the bond, we can feel each other's emotions. Like if I'm happy you know I'm happy because you can feel it?"

He frowns, but again nods. "It would seem so. Though that's not exactly how it works. It's more like if you're happy I actually feel a little happy too. It also depends on how close we are to each other at the time."

"So…if that's true then would you feel sick if I was sick?"

"I suppose I would if you didn't make an effort to block your feelings from me."

"So if you've been sick how come I haven't felt sick?"

Suddenly looking away he clears his throat in a weird manner, before speaking again after a very long pause. "Thomas the sick feeling, it's not me that was sick. I only got sick when you were being hurt at the hospital or having bad dreams here. The sick, nausea, that was me reacting to you being hurt or scared."

Suddenly understanding what that means now, I'm sure I look about as unhappy as he does. "So it's my fault you got sick?"

Holding out his hands, Zedd is fast to stop that train of thought. "No, no, it's like I said Thomas it's no one's fault really, it's just what it is. Besides if I had to take a guess I'd say you've been feeling my emotions a lot stronger and more frequently than I have yours."

"What do you mean?"

"You got angry at Pina today, very angry actually, more so than you normally would?" How did he know that? Did he hear me? Or is it because of this bond thing?

Feeling a little bad I give a nod. "Yeah."

"It wasn't your fault. I was angry with her, with all of this and you felt it. I should have blocked you from it but I wasn't thinking at the time."

I can feel my eyes narrow as facts link together. "So I got mad and yelled at Pina because you were mad."

The guilty look on his face tells me all I need to know. "And what happened in the kitchen that was my fault too." What?!

"I don't understand, how was that…" But suddenly I do, I know what it was, what he must have been doing to make me suddenly feel so good and cum like that, especially since I did it myself this afternoon too. Oh oh no. No. No. No.

Face turning red I'm sure I look down at the bed, unable to look him in the face. "So if I…you know, because you did that, does that mean you would um, feel it if I did that too?"

"I'm not certain, I suppose there's a good chance I would, but its okay, you can learn to block those feelings from me. It'll just take you some time and practice." He looks away and for a brief moment, I can feel pain, sadness and guilt all rolled into one and let me say it's not nice. "I'm sorry, Thomas. I never would have wished this on you - or myself."

Curious now, I ask, "Why not? Do you want to be bonded to someone else?"

Looking surprised, he slowly shakes his head seeming unsure how to answer that. "No it's not that, it's just that you're a human. We have no idea what affect this will have on you. And with the trouble you're already having, I don't want to add to it. Plus…it's just not something you should have to put up with."

Somehow, I know there is something he's not telling me, but I have no clue what. "What else?"

"I don't think it's something you need to really know about right now." Not liking that answer at all, I shake my head sternly.

"I want to know. It's not fair that you know and I don't when it's about me too. Plus we're supposed to be best friends, right? That's what this bond thing means doesn't it? So if you're my best friend now then you're not supposed to keep things from me."

He studies me for a long minute before finally he reluctantly answers. "My species outlives yours by hundreds of years." Um, okay. Not that that's not kind of cool, and a little sad, but still not seeing the big problem.

"How old are you?"

"Old enough." Giving a small smile as I scowl he changes his answer but not to anything much better. "I'm old enough to know many things, but still young enough to be what Pina calls rash and irresponsible at times. In my species' years I'm probably around your age."

"So you'll live a long, long time after I die?"

"Well assuming nothing happens to me, but Thomas you won't die for a very long time either, at least you shouldn't I hope." The last part said in a low mutter, he once more has me wondering what he's hiding from me and why he's hiding it.

"What does that mean? Why aren't you telling me everything? Tell me what's wrong! Tell me why this is bad!" I know I shouldn't snap at him, but he's making me mad. He's hiding things, keeping stuff from me. I don't like that.

"I'm sorry, Thomas. I'm not trying to irritate you. I'm just not sure how much you'll truly understand, or want to understand once you know."

"Well we'll never know if you don't tell me. And telling me things in bits and pieces is really starting to tick me off."

Crossing my arms over my chest trying my best to look stern, I'm not so sure I pull it off as he only smiles smally and responds softly with, "I know. I can feel it."

Realization hits me like a two by four board across the head and I take a mental step backward. Silence reigns while I get my irritation under control. Finally, I speak. "Okay. So we're bonded and can feel each other's emotions - good and bad. We have no idea what will happen to me since I'm human and you said that you'll outlive me, probably by hundreds of years. Is that right so far?"

"Yes."

"All right. So you brought up the aging thing for a reason, right? How come?"

He answers with a sigh and I realize that the twinge of fear I feel is his. "I've heard stories about bonded pairs in which one dies before the other - usually unexpectedly. Often the other half of the bond ends up violently ill or comatose. Sometimes they die too. And again, with you being human, we don't know what would happen to you if something happened to me."

I take several minutes to absorb this new information before I say anything, trying my best to keep my own fear under control. "Have you ever heard of the one who lives being okay?"

Zedd thinks for a bit before he responses slowly and in a way that makes me think he's not too sure about all of this. "Maybe."

Now my curiosity is peaked. "So then if something happens to you I could be okay."

"I suppose it's possible."

"Well if it's possible then why are you so sure I won't be? Why are you worrying yourself so much? Looking at the worst outcome?"

"Thomas, that's just the way I am. Find the worst possible outcome and be prepared for it, but look for ways to prevent it."

Oh, really now! "Are you serious?" He nods and I shake my head. "You have got to be kidding me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with being careful and prepared and all of that stuff, but come on. I think you're looking at this the wrong way." I almost can't stop myself from laughing when I feel his curiosity and confusion, now knowing just what to feel thanks to him finally explaining this bond business to me.

"What do you mean? How else should I look at it?"

"Have you ever thought that maybe it won't be so bad because I'm human? Maybe that part of the bond won't take since I'm human. And even if it does, who knows? In a few years we may find a way to make me live longer - enough that it's less of a worry. No matter what, I'm not going anywhere for a long time - well, long to me anyway - so it doesn't matter right now."

He shakes his head. "I don't understand how you can be so - calm - about a potentially fatal situation." Potentially. I know that word. I think. It means like - sorta? - right? Something like that.

Picking my words carefully I really hope what I say to him next makes as much sense to him as it does me. "Because of that word right there - potentially. We're not the same species, Zedd. That could make a huge difference." Spreading my arms to demonstrate just how huge, I offer him a smile as he raises a brow.

Shaking his head again, he still doesn't seem convinced, but it's okay I can convince him, I know I can if I can just have some more time. "You really do look to the positive side of things, don't you?"

I wave my hand vaguely as I say, "There's enough doom and gloom and danger out there without adding to it or looking for it." I stop suddenly and yawn hugely. Blushing a little more as this gets a small laugh from him I give a shrug. "Sorry. I guess I'm still a little tired lately."

"It's all right Thomas, you're still recovering and I'm sure being so close to me dealing with the bond when I'm in a rage for the better part of the day is not a relaxing event." At my slightly lost look he corrects himself slowly. "I'm not making it any easier here for you when I get upset."

"Everyone gets upset sometimes Zedd. It happens." Yawning again, I rub my eyes tiredly. "Is there something else you need to talk about?"

His amusement is obvious as he moves to the bed and pulls down the covers halfway. "I think not - at least not tonight. Let's go to bed. You did ask about staying in here again, did you not?"

I nod and make my way up to the other side of the bed, climbing under the covers he's pulled down for me.

A few minutes later, we've both settled down and the light is out. Zedd falls asleep in a few minutes, but I'm still awake. Any other time, my brain doesn't work right and now I can't stop it from working. One nagging thought keeps coming back. He told me what was bothering him. Now I should too, right? I mean fair is fair. Especially after I made such a fuss about us being best friends and not keeping secrets.

"Damn." I make my decision and shift into a slightly more comfortable position. My last conscious thought before falling asleep is that fair is fair and paybacks are a bitch.

-ooo-

I wake slowly in the morning, sprawled out across the bed. It takes me several minutes to realize that Zedd isn't there and I have to wonder how long I've been sleeping for him to wake up first today.

I stretch as much as I'm able before relaxing back into the comfortable and still warm bed. Suddenly, I remember the talk that Zedd and I had last night. I'm a little curious about the bond we have. Obviously, I can feel what he's feeling if it's strong enough or he's close enough. But that was accidental. What if I want to know? Can I do that? What if I want him to know how I feel? Will he know if I try to use the connection?

I close my eyes once more and focus on Zedd. I find it hard at first, but then realize that it's not all that different from - what's the word? Medium, mental, marital, macaroon, metabolic, meditation - that's it! Once I figure that out, it's not that hard. I think he's in the kitchen with Dar and Pina. I can feel a small smile play across my lips as a thought crosses my mind. Yeah, it'll tick him off, but I don't get in trouble, at least not here, not with them it seems.

Taking a few minutes to make up my mind, finally deciding that I'll do it, I'll give Zedd a little payback for the embarrassment he put me through yesterday.

Without totally abandoning the link, I open my eyes, slip out of bed and head back to my room and bathroom. After struggling with the button of my pants for a minute I relieve myself, tossing the piece of clothing to the floor after I'm done.

No more than a minute later I'm stroking myself, trying to hold back from sharing the pleasure with him. I'm not sure if I'm going about it right or not, but he hasn't come to check on me so I hope I am.

It takes a few minutes and a few less than innocent mental pictures, but I can soon feel myself getting close. When I'm almost there I tap into the link again and throw it wide open sure that if I understand this right, he should be feeling exactly what I did yesterday.

Three or four strokes later, I explode in pleasure, moaning and gasping out who knows what. I desperately try to catch my breath, clean up quickly and pull my pants back on before I head back into my bedroom, trying not to look as if I just had my way with myself.

Looking around the room for something to do I reach for a book that Pina must have left in a chair the other night. I could sit on the bed and look like I was readi…oh right I can't do that anymore. Tossing the book aside I try for something else. A nap? No I just got up. Exercising? I doubt my ribs would like that very much.

Still trying to find something to do I nearly jump out of my skin as the door on my room flies open without so much as the courtesy of a knock, thank you very much. I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid both laughing and showing my fear that I can't yet control. Calmly, I ask - much as Zedd asked Pina yesterday - "And since when do you not knock?"

I can almost hear his teeth crack under the pressure. His voice low and tinged with something that could be anger, but I'm not to sure if that's what it is or not. "You did that deliberately."

Fidgeting nervously, I ask, "Did what?" I can't decide if I should play this like it was an accident or if I should let him know it was, in fact, on purpose and payback.

He steps into the room and shuts the door. Unconsciously, I take a couple of steps back as this seems a little too familiar - and not in a good way. I know he sees me back up when he stops and takes a breath. Voice still low, he answers me. "You tapped the bond just then on purpose."

I stare at him, letting confusion cover my face. "I don't think I did it on purpose. Maybe."

I catch a flash of something in his eyes, gone too quickly to read as they narrow. "Maybe? What does maybe mean? Either you did or you didn't."

"I, I don't know. I've never been bonded before, at least I don't think I have. I'm not used to it yet. I don't know exactly how to tap it like you said." I'm not sure if he believes me or not as he moves slightly, his leather pants sticking to a rather interesting place as he does.

"Very well." Taking a breath he continues slowly and deliberately, "But if I ever find out that it was deliberate, Thomas, you will have no dessert for a whole week." No dessert for a week? He's kidding right? Oh my gosh he's not. What am I five?

"Um, okay."

"After you change your clothes, get some breakfast and Pina will take you to the infirmary. I believe that she has something new to try to speed your recovery." With that, he spins on his heel and leaves the room, almost slamming the door behind him.

Once I hear his door close, I give in to the temptation and laugh.