Elemental: Hey! I'm back! So far it seems like the first chapter was pretty good. If you couldn't already tell, it was in the POV of none other than, Draco Malfoy. Hopefully you guys will like this chapter as well. THIS IS IMPORTANT: If you read Tears of Guilt, I advise you read it again. I have changed it. And have added things to help clear up anything that might be confusing. If you feel you've understood it 100 then you do not have to read it again. Enjoy! Tears of Pain
Warnings: Don't be alarmed if the content changes every now and then. My way of writing is to write then go back and add, take away, and edit. It will most likely change 2-3 times before I'm completely satisfied with it. This applies to every chapter to come in this story. If you do not read every note in every chapter, don't worry. I will write this in every chapter.
Summary: Post HBP.After dumbledors death, everyone seems to be suffering. Some who are asumed to be guilty or evil, are not, yet how can they prove this? Tears are spilt by innocent people. But why? Follow the trail of tears, and they'll lead you to the answer. Sum changed.I stink at sum. please read.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters. Just the plot.
Recap: Why does it hurt so much? I lie here in my room, hands behind my head, staring at the ceiling; no feeling of accomplishment in me. While the others celebrate his accomplishment, I sit here. Had it not been for me, he wouldn't have been able to succeed. Had it not been for me, they would not be celebrating, by showering him with admiration. Had it not been for me…..he would not be dead...My blue eyes widen as I see her fully. They captured her! How can this be? I did everything I could to prevent this...How can she say that? After all that's happened,..What have I done?
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More grievous than tears is the sight of them.
Antonio Porchia, Voces, 1943, translated from Spanish by W.S. Merwin
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…: OoOoOoOoOooo- Tears of Pain –oooOoOoOoOoO :…
Tears of Pain.
Pain. That's all I felt after Dumbledore died. Why did he die? When the year ended, and the funeral was done I tried to keep my tears away. I must be strong for Harry, for Ron, for myself. I promised to go searching for the Horcruxes with them. But here I am, sitting by the window, tears pouring down my face. It's summer. It's raining. It's…odd. It's been raining much more than a normal summer's rain. It seems like everyone is crying, even the sky and heaven above. It wasn't his time to go. It couldn't have been.
Dumbledore, you always smiled. You always knew what was going on in Hogwarts, and even the world maybe. You had always been calm and peaceful, caring and whimsical. Your eyes twinkled like the stars. But today the stars don't shine tonight. Are you watching me? Dumbledore, I'm crying for you.
Harry, you haven't been taking it very well. You continue to write that you are fine, but I know you blame yourself. You blame yourself for Dumbledore's death. Dumbledore was like your father-figure…if not then your grandfather, right? I feel your pain. It must have been terrible to witness his death. Harry, please, if not for yourself, then for everybody who believes in you, come out of this war okay. I know what you're doing. You are plotting how to destroy Voldemort, but Harry, don't become blinded by hate like he was. You know what love is. You know how to love. Don't shut your friends out, Harry. Yet, right now your eyes show no emotion. It's like you're in a trance. No anger, no sadness, no love, no tears. Harry, I'm crying for you.
Ron, you are devastated. Your brother was mauled by a werewolf. The most feared one at that. I know you are being strong for Harry. You're being strong for me. But what about yourself? You are hiding your pain. It's becoming bottled up inside, and as corny as it sounds, it will explode if you don't let it out. When we called it off, I said it was because we had more important things to concentrate on. And that we couldn't maintain being boyfriend and girlfriend while in this war. Yet, I'm hiding the real reason from you. I think you know this as well. You may be thick, but you're not stupid. You said that it was for the better. That being together would be riskier. But we both know it's already risky. I am also one of Harry Potter's best friends. Since you refuse to cry, Ron, I'm crying, for you.
Ginny you are left with a heart broken. With a bitter smile I think about how much you guys cared for each other. He truly loved you, didn't he? I'm sure you loved him just as evenly. After all the years pining over him, you finally got him. Yet, it didn't last. He called it off because it was 'dangerous' and 'he didn't want you to get hurt'. That's what they all say, don't they? That's what he said too. Poor Ginny. Your heart was wrenched from its place. You tried to be strong too. When he left, you didn't cry, or chase after him. You just stared at his back. You were strong. I remember hearing your conversation in Ron's arms. But you haven't been the same since. So, Ginny, I'm crying for you.
I know who I should blame, but I can't. I can't bring myself to believe what everyone else believes because I know their all wrong. You didn't do it for yourself, at least not all for yourself. You did it for your family. You did it... for me. I remember comforting you when you cried. You did cry! You were human! I was amazed. Though it wasn't the first time you came to me crying. It had been going on since fifth year. We met in the rain. On a day just like today, stormy, rainy, and cold. That's when we first started to talk. Not just insult each other, but really, really talk. After that faithful day, you cam to me when you needed to talk to someone. At first, you were shy. I thought that was so cute. In a couple of weeks, I started to feel connected to you. You said that Malfoy's never cry. You told me you kept it in for twelve long years. You're now Seventeen.(1) Please let it out. Draco, I'm crying for you.
I realize that I've been staring out the window for over an hour. How time flies. Slowly I get up. My knees hurt from being on them for so long. With a slight yawn, I stretch my hands out above me, bending and straightening my knees. I walk over to my mirror. I look terrible. I laugh a little. Tear lines streak my face, little dark circles under my eyes accompanied with red puffiness. I should get some sleep, but I want to go outside for a moment, to feel god's tears.
I dress in my Hogwarts uniform, just for today, and slip on my rain jacket. The water is cold and filled with sorrow. It tastes like salt. No, those are my tears again. And again, my heart tightens. As I choke out sobs, I collapse to the ground. It keeps raining, concealing my tears. I lift my head up and see a small dark figure in the distance. Guess someone else is getting drenched. Maybe, they're crying as well. I look at the sky. The rain falls on my open eyes. It stings, but I don't care. The sky is grey with wisps of black. How fitting.
I hear footsteps. Probably my parents telling me to come inside. How long was I out?
"I'll be inside in a sec. Is that okay, mom?" I ask quietly.
My eyes widen as a foreign voice answers, "Sorry love, but I ain't your mama. Now, just relax and there will be no problem." I freeze. My mom's voice isn't so rugged and it most defiantly isn't manly, unlike the one that answered. Before I have time to tell myself to react, I can't. Even if I wanted to,(which I certainly would have, had I been given the chance) I couldn't move. A rag was quickly placed over my mouth, and I was roughly tied up. They even had the nerve to stuff me in a bag, which by the way, smelled strongly of mold and dust! Ewww!
I assume they apparated somewhere because I felt them turning, then I felt slightly sick. Never did like apparating…or flying…or anything that had to do with moving not on your feet. When it stopped they started grunting about some kind of password. I couldn't believe it! They forgot the password that they obviously needed to get me somewhere. I almost laughed. That is, until I was sloppily dropped out of the bag, landing on my face. I mumbled a small 'ow' before looking at my captors.
As soon as I saw who it was, I felt like ripping off at least one of their faces! Peter Pettigrew, or Wormtail, and some other man stood before me. Peter looked like…well, like a rat. Long nails and teeth. They may have even been longer than mine.(2) He had messy hair and a pudgy nose. The other man was taller than Wormtail and had dark hair that fell onto his face. It reminded me of someone…
As soon as they untied the rag from my mouth I tried to bite them. Didn't work. Damn. Angered at my attempt to bite him, the unknown man slapped me, quite hard. Hard enough to scratch; I was stunned. After I got over my stupor I glowered at them. With a sneer on my face, I viciously asked, "Where the bloody hell am I? What do you want from me? "
They just gave me a wicked smile and threw me in a dungeon. As they left I could hear Wormtail's hamster-like voice talking with the familiar snuffing. 'Oh we got her' and 'the Dark Lord will be pleased' and blah blah blah. I can't believe I got captured so easily! Damn them. I should have been more careful. I continued to scold myself until I realized that it wasn't helping. I had to get out of here! But how? My wand was home; I didn't think I would need it for standing out in the rain. My hands and, feet and, everything else were tied up. I sighed. What have I gotten myself into?
I looked around my cell. Moldy? Check. Smelly? Check. Cold? Check. Creepy? Check. Small? Check. Great. Everything a dungeon should be. Wonderful. I'm shivering. I'm still wet and cold, and this stupid dungeon doesn't help.
Beyond the bars was another cell. The ceiling have few working lamps. It was dim and hard to see. Now that I've gotten acquainted with my cell, what do I do? I wonder what everyone is doing. Sounds loud and busy up there. Hmm…
Maybe I can do wand less magic! Except...I haven't practiced that at all. And only really, really powerful witches and wizards can do it. I'll just have to try. I have to concentrate. Just close my eyes and take deep breaths and concentrate. Concentrate.
Concentrate
Con-Cen-Trate
Concentrate…
Hmm wow, when I concentrate it's so quiet…Oops back to concentrating.
Concentrate…
Concentrate…..
Consen—Whoooaaa! What's up? I'm trying to concentrate. Why am I being pulled? I open my eyes. Aww, and here I thought I was doing it, seems like it was just some Death Eater dragging me somewhere… Wait! A Death Eater is dragging me somewhere? What's going on? He…or she is tying me up in a chair. How odd. I hear everyone become quiet. Oh I see what's going on! I feel my face screw up in a sneer as I hear what is being said. I'm being shown as a treat? And he really believes that Harry will fall for such an obvious trick; doesn't he?
I feel the ground beneath me move upward. At first, I can only see a little, but that's all I need to see. My eyes glare at them, especially Voldemort. Everyone is staring at me like Christmas' come early. That is, if they even believe in God…I guess Voldemort is their God. Stupid, manipulating, person, snake, monster, thing…whatever he is. The floor is finally done showing me off. Voldemort looks at me with a glint in his eyes. He's asking me about Harry. Like I'll ever tell him anything. Instead I just spit at his feet. I accompany that with a delightful sentence to make his day.
"Get away from me to stupid nose-less freak! Do you honestly believe that Harry would fall for such a trick! Do you honestly believe I will tell you anything?" I quickly take a breath, and continue on with my rant. "I'm not afraid of you! Let me take over the world! Huh? Let me 'purify' it! Huh? Well, guess what! You're the one messing it up!"…Man that felt good. I bet they could probably see steam coming from my nostrils and ears. But, it looks like he's even angrier. Nice goin' girl, nice. He says something on the lines of shut up mudblood. I cannot believe him! Wait till I give him a piece of my mind!
"DONT YOU DARE TELL ME TO SHUT UP! I'LL TALK OR SCREAM AS MUCH AS I DAMN BLOODY WANT! (Insert deep breath) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU HYPOCRYTE! YOU ARE JUST A HAL--"
I didn't even finish, before my body started to feel like it was on fire. I felt like someone had taken a knife and stabbed me. Over and over again the pain came. Before I can stop myself, I hear a shrill cry. It doesn't take long to realize that it's me. Desperately I try not to scream, not to give him more satisfaction. Instead, I just bite my lip and try bearing it. I'm sure that if I were not tied up, I would be wriggling on the ground like a fish out of water.
The pain stops soon, though. I tiredly lean forward, gasping for breath. When I look up, I gasp slightly, my eyes widening. It's him! Oh My God! If they know he's here not celebrating, they'd probably kill him. Quickly I look away. I must keep looking away. I must. I can't show him I'm in pain, or else he'll suffer as well. And that would be one more person to cry for. But I can't. I need to look at his beautiful face. I meet his eyes. They're wonderful. Blue iris's with a touch of silver. They're defiantly warmer than his fathers. He's moving his lips…his soft looking lips…no! I must concentrate. How did this happen? I smile. That's a funny story actually…I was being careless and got captured. But I won't tell him that. Instead of answering him I just whisper, 'I love you'.
Unfortunately, I'm not given the chance to say anything else. It seems like once again, someone has cursed me. The pain is immense. My insides burn and a scream is dying to come out. I feel my hot tears travel down my face. It hurts so much. I double over in the chair, tears now dripping on my uniform.
I think about how hard Draco tried to protect me. Now look at me, I'm strapped to a chair with him watching. I failed him. And it's breaking my heart knowing that. I may be crying from the curse, but now my heart is twisting into a tight knot. My heart burns more than any other part of me. I cry because my heart is crying. The pain doesn't stop.
The curse stops. Slowly, I lift my head up. A glare firmly set my face. They haven't broken me yet. I look around. Many of the Death Eaters are whispering. Some are laughing, others are just staring at me. How rude. I look back to the curtains. They are slightly rumpled and swaying. Where'd he go? I gaze around the room. Thankfully no one noticed him come or go. I can't say the same for me though. Voldemort is snickering, along with his other followers.
"Take her back down to the dungeons. But be careful, she's feisty. Oh, and don't have too much fun," he hissed. Immediately, two men dragged me away, back down under the floor. Fun? What the hell is he talking about?
They walked me back towards the dungeons, but when they got to the entrance one slapped my butt! I give a small squeak of surprise. They push me in quickly and walked away, snickering the whole way. I stared, open-mouthed at their shadows. Did he just...and then…NOOO! Eww. Being molested by a perverted Death Eater that has no life, yippee! It just keeps getting better and better.
Tiredly, I inch my way towards the wall. Seems like they trust me enough to lift the body binding spell. More like they think I'm not strong enough to get out. Pfft. Not strong enough. I roll my eyes. I'll show them…later when I have more energy. Still have the rope around my ankles and wrists though. When I finally get to the wall, I lean my back against it. Stupidly, I bang my head against the wall. Oww. The rope is rubbing against my wrists. I bet they're red and sore. I try to get more comfortable. Doesn't work. In fact, it just makes it worse, because now the rope around my ankles is starting to rub. Arrgg. I'm getting frustrated. I'm trapped. I have a headache. I'm tired. I…I'm…I'm gonna cry. The rope burns. My heart yearns to be away from here. My cheek burns where it was cut.
I feel a warm trail of water sliding down my cheek. Now my cheek is stinging. Wonderful. I sniff indignantly. How much pain must I endure until it's enough? A sob echo's through the dungeons. I rest my head on my shoulder, staring out with glassy eyes. Now that I have time to think, I'm starting to remember what I was thinking about before I got captured. Dumbledore, Harry, Ron, Ginny….Draco. My eyes become heavy.
Whether it's physical or mental pain,
Tears of Pain Continue
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Elemental: Well there it is! Chapter 2 tears of Pain. I bet you all know who's POV it was in this chapter. But if you don't...well you'll just have to hope someone posts it in a review! ) Anyway below are the info things...for the numbers that I laced in the story:
1.) I do not know how hold he is. I tried looking for it, and I know that as a true fan I should know. But I don't, sorry. If anyone knows please tell me and I'll fix it right away. or if I'm right, I'll just keep it the same.
2.) Now- for those of you who know who this person is, I know she got them fixed...but she's referring to when she had them bigger, before they were fixed.
Well, now that's over, please Review! Thanks for taking the time to read! And for those of you, who will review, Thanks for reviewing.
4 Elemental 4
