DISCLAIMER: 'Mr. and Mrs. Jule' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed which is a property of Sotsu Agency, Bandai Studios and TV Asashi. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork.
WARNING: Text and all related materials are rated PG13/T and may mild strong language and suggestive adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. Spoilers for Gundam Seed.
NOTE: This fanfiction disregards the plotline of the original series' sequel Gundam Seed Destiny.
GSEED Singles Series
Mr. and Mrs. Jule
a hermit junction project
Chapter 4: Two Months and a Night
Just because we share our nights together
Doesn't mean I can hope for more
I know that
But I can, in my dreams… right?
Opening his eyes, Yzak stared at the ceiling blankly, waiting for his eyes to focus. He laid there in silence for a few moments before raising his hand, glancing at his clock that read seven thirty. He found it amazing that no matter how little sleep he had, he'd still wake up in time for work, and work only.
Sighing heavily, Yzak turned his head and stared at Shiho's sleeping face that was resting on his arm. He indulged himself for a few more minutes before gently removing his arm from under her head and left the bed silently.
Shiho remained sleeping, seemingly oblivious of Yzak's movement. Grabbing the robe on the rack, Yzak slipped into the shower, closing the door behind him silently. After a quick shower, he changed into his white ZAFT uniform, staring at himself in the dressing table's mirror. Buttoning up his collar, he adverted his eyes and stared at Shiho in the mirror who had her bare back facing him, the sheets shifted to her waist. Turning, he stared at her for a split second before leaning over the bed. Pulling the sheets over her shoulders, he brushed some of her silky brunette strands off her shoulders.
Turning, he left the room quickly, closing the door a little bit too loudly.
Not that I wasn't awake already. Shiho thought, opening her eyes. Staring at the door for a good few minutes, Shiho rolled onto her back, the sheets still up to her shoulders. Staring at the ceiling for a good feel minutes too, Shiho sighed heavily and pulled her arms out of the sheets. Shooting a glance at the door again, she couldn't help but shake her head.
'What are you doing girl?' She murmured to herself.
Two months, it has been exactly two months since that night and it has been the sixty-first time Yzak had walked out of the door without waking her up. Their relationship was purely sexual and she knew it, she knew it when she let him take off her towel and push her onto this very bed two months ago.
Rolling back onto her side, Shiho buried her face into Yzak's pillow, inhaling his scent.
'You've fallen for Yzak Jule?'
Gritting her teeth, Shiho grabbed a handful of Yzak's pillow and squeezed it.
Yes, she had fallen for Yzak Jule and it wasn't the proudest thing she had done in her life. At first, it was just admiration, the fact that the legendary Yzak Jule from the Heliopolis raid who survived Panama, Josh-A and was constantly compared with Athrun Zala. The admiration was purely because of his outstanding achievement before he was assigned to Versalius with Captain Klueze.
She still remembered how scared she was when she first met Yzak on Versalius. She had barracked herself for being nervous because his name used to be associated with her sister, but she had felt her heart skip a beat when she met eye to eye with Yzak.
It wasn't unnatural for this admiration of hers to grow as the war continued on. Yzak demonstrated his superb combat and tactical skills during the bloody and intense war at Jakin Due, and she was more than grateful that she was assigned under his leadership, he was one of the reason she was able to survive the war, she owed him a lot, her whole team owed him a lot.
She was a good observer, she had the habit of stepping back and looking at others, and she did exactly that when she first met Yzak Jule. She must have failed to be discreet enough with her observation or Yzak wouldn't have felt uncomfortable, or even threatened. From what she learnt from the war, her Captain and Commander was one angry young man, and he had every right to be mad, being put into a situation of war, guilt, betrayal and utter bloodshed. He was an elite, he was on the top, and he was determined to stay on the top, that's what made him a such a troubled man after the war.
Why did she fall for her? She didn't really know. She didn't really even know if it was that kind of feeling, she had never really experienced it. What would people feel when they were falling for someone, were crushing on someone? She didn't have the privilege to know because she was no considered an ordinary teenager, she had entered the ZAFT academy when she was fifteen and was officially commissioned when she was sixteen.
What was it like? She had always wondered, always dreamed. Yzak Jule was a perfect experiment for her and little did she know that the feeling would grow in time. She was certain at first that the feeling would fade after all the rumors of Yzak's personal life after the war and actually witnessing a few after work at nightclubs since working for him after the war. Imagine her surprise when her Father had asked her to marry him upon political reasoning. She surprised everyone for saying yes, herself being the most.
'If you didn't want to do something, you'd find a way to get out of it……. no one could force you into marrying someone you didn't like, you sounded so serious and I thought I had a chance…… you haven't changed at all, have you?'
When it came to marriage, her Father wouldn't force her if she really didn't want to, despite what her sister felt about him. She had said yes, agreed to such an absurd agreement, and that was when denial was no longer possible, she had really fallen for her Captain and Commander.
Taking a deep breath, Shiho pulled the sheets to her waist and sat up, her brunette locks brushing down her bare chest. Turning her head, she stared at herself in the vanity mirror. Shaking her head, she gave herself a bitter laugh and climbed off the bed, stepping into the shower lightly.
There was still a bit of steam and fog left from Yzak's earlier shower. Refusing to look at the mirror, Shiho turned the exhaust fan on and stepped into the shower cubicle. Turning it on, she stared up at it, watching as the water hit on her face. Splashing her face, she tried to wake herself up. Gritting her teeth, she pounded both fists into the glass before her and slid to the floor, her head dropped between her arms.
'What the hell are you doing Shiho Hahnenfuss?' Shiho whispered to herself. Kneeling, she rested her head on the glass, trying to hold back the sting in her eyes, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to overflow every morning.
Before, it was because she had to know what her husband was doing over tabloids, had to know that her husband was screwing some other politician's daughter on top of other complete strangers he meets at nightclubs. Now? Why did she want to cry?
Because she was just another politician's daughter. She was different in a sense that she had a wedding ring on her forth finger, fought with him during the war, worked for him after the war and was neglected by him for a whole damn month before he slept with her. Sure, it had been two months straight, but reality would kick in soon, he was going to abandon her anytime and he had the right to do so, they had an agreement, her Father had an agreement with him, with his Mother.
When will it be over? Soon?
Do you really want to pull that string Hahnenfuss? Shiho mused. Standing up again, she turned the shower off and stepped out dripping wet. Walking across the room without bothering to cover herself with a towel, she stopped at her dressing table and stared at herself in the mirror, her damp hair scattered all over her shoulder and face. The sun was shining in from the window right beside her, yet it didn't make her mood any better. She used to love the sun, but now it was just irritating.
'Two straight months of sex Hahnenfuss.' Shiho muttered to herself, looking down. 'You must be Yzak's favorite right now.'
Reaching out one trembling hand, she opened the drawer Yzak would never bother to open and took out a small rectangular box.
A pregnancy test.
Stepping into the kitchen, Shiho stared at the person at the stove.
'Mrs. Jule.' Niolava turned to her, trying not to laugh as she continued to polish the set of silverware on the table.
'What in God's name are you doing at the stove Azuiles Jule?' Shiho demanded, putting her hands on her waist.
'Hey, as I recall, you don't even know how to use a spatula, so shut it bitch.' Azuiles snarled, looking over his shoulder while tossing his eggs in the pan.
'You see, you see how he treats his sister-in-law?' Shiho turned to Niolava who couldn't help but laugh. 'He should just be locked up in that basement forever.
'With the amount of noise you guys make, I'd rather sleep in the basement.' Azuiles sneered, shifting his omelet into a fancy porcelain dish.' At that, Niolava coughed while Shiho seethed at him.
'Shut up bastard.' Shiho muttered, sitting on the stool.
'But seriously, you two can be really loud sometimes.' Azuiles said slyly, reaching for a ketchup bottle.
'Really, it's embarrassing enough.' Shiho seethed.
Azuiles shrugged. 'Hey, at least you're getting laid by my brother.'
'I – uh, I think I'll put the silverware back into the dining room.' Niolava said.
Watching as Niolava scrambled out of the kitchen, Shiho leaned over the counter top and grabbed the ketchup bottle before Azuiles had a chance to squeeze it onto his omelet.
'Way to embarrass me, is that like your new hobby now?' Shiho asked.
'You're embarrassed enough, you're practically immune, so I don't see the damage.' Azuiles sneered. He reached out his hand to grab the bottle but Shiho snatched it away from him.
'Is this how you thank me for getting you clean?' Shiho demanded.
'Yeah, I thank you for locking me up in a closet, making me do physical training from hell and not giving me hot water to shower, yeah, this is how I should thank you.' Azuiles made a face at him. 'Give me my ketchup.'
Grabbing his wrist, Shiho squeezed the word 'bastard' onto his omelet. 'You should tattoo it on your forehead.'
Azuiles shrugged, holding up the plate with one hand. 'Hey, Azuiles Jule's personal ad.'
Shiho stuck out her tongue just as Lois entered the kitchen with a towel wrapped around her head.
'What's going on?' She asked, cocking her head as she opened the fridge.
Clearing her throat, Shiho stared at her. 'What are you doing here at this time of the morning?'
Grabbing her wrist, Azuiles pulled Lois into his arms, resting his chin on her shoulder. 'You're not the only one who's getting laid.'
Shiho's jaw dropped. 'That is so too much information dude.'
'Don't listen to him.' Lois scowled, pushing him away. 'We went for an early jog this morning and I wanted to take a shower.'
Shiho raised her eyes suspiciously. 'Really?'
'Hey, even if we were doing it, what's the big deal? We're sixteen.' Azuiles muttered. 'You're only seventeen.'
Shiho opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out. 'Fine.'
Sitting herself on the stool across from Shiho, Lois grabbed a fork and stabbed it into the omelet.
'Who said it was for you?' Azuiles asked.
Lois shrugged. 'You didn't, I just assumed and if I was wrong, I'm still eating it.'
Scowling, Azuiles opened the bottom cabinet and threw the bottle of ketchup in. 'Then no more of this for you.'
'Ooo, I'm missing out a lot.' Holding her head in the air, Lois strolled across the kitchen towards the door with the omelet in hand.
'Where do you think you're taking my omelet?' Azuiles asked, his hands on hips.
'Back to your room to finish my game of Chaotic Empire.' Lois replied. 'I will win you one day, I swear.'
'Yeah.' Azuiles sneered. 'In your dreams.'
Looking over her shoulder, Lois stuck her tongue out before darting out of the kitchen.
Leaning her elbows on the counter, Shiho looked at Azuiles with a cocked head. 'Are you two…'
Azuiles shot a glance at her. 'Not that it's any of your business, but I think it's safe to say that our relationship is better than you and my brother.'
Shiho frowned and sat straight. 'You always find a way to diss me Azuiles.'
Azuiles bowed his head in exaggeration. 'Consider it a talent and hobby of mine Shiho.'
Shaking her head, Shiho hopped off the stool. 'You are hopeless Azuiles Jule, you know that? Hopeless.'
'Now,' Azuiles pointed a finger at her, 'if you thought I was hopeless, you wouldn't have gone through all that shit to get me clean. I may be an ass but there is a good chance I won't go back to drugs after what you did to me. What if you come back to haunt me?'
Shiho laughed. 'Well, then I consider it my biggest achievement aside from surviving the war.'
'Where are you going?' Azuiles asked.
'I'm going to the hospital.' Shiho said, shrugging on her coat.
'Right.' Tossing the rest of the utensils into the sink, he darted forward and blocked Shiho who wanted to get to the garage through the back door of the kitchen. 'Can I come with you?'
Shiho raised her eyebrows. 'Really? I'm going to the hospital, it's a boring place, you sure?'
Azuiles rolled his eyes. 'Dude, you locked me in the basement for a month, you think I don't know what boring is?'
Shiho shrugged. 'Your call.'
'Wait, I just have to change.' Azuiles said.
'Five minutes.' Shiho called as he dashed out of the kitchen.
'Yeah yeah, whatever!'
When Azuiles got down to the garage, Shiho had already started the engine.
'Do you want to kill yourself?' Azuiles asked, opening the door.
'Huh?' Shiho turned and stared at him blankly. 'What?'
Azuiles rolled his eyes and reached over to open the garage. 'Monoxide? Common sense.'
Shiho rolled her eyes and fastened her seatbelt. 'It's just a few minutes, it's not going to kill me.'
'True, not unless you want to die.' Azuiles said flatly.
Shiho gritted her teeth as she steered out of the garage. 'Are you implying that I'm suicidal in some ways?'
Azuiles shrugged. 'I didn't say that.'
'Shut up Azuiles Jule.'
'Make me.'
Looking up, Yzak squeezed his eyes shut and counted to ten. Opening his eyes again, he leaned on his elbow and rubbed the side of his forehead with his fingers, tossing the file he was reading onto the coffee table before him.
'Yo, what's up?'
Looking sideways, Yzak watched as Dearka sat across from him uninvited. 'What do you want Dearka?'
'Major Elthman?' The waitress came up to them with a flushed face. 'What would you like?'
'Cinnemon Latte please.' Dearka flashed her a big smile. 'Can I also get some brownies.'
'Will come right up Major Elthman.' With that, the waitress turned and dashed off.
'Hitting on waitresses?' Yzak raised his eyebrows.
Dearka shrugged and sat back. 'It's not my fault I'm naturally charming.'
Yzak snorted. 'You just like hitting on girls.'
'And you?' Dearka sneered back. 'You just like hooking up with girls.'
'Your point is?' Yzak narrowed his eyes.
'You are worse than me buddy.' Dearka replied with a smirk.
Yzak sighed and slid further down in his chair. 'What do you want Dearka? I'm not in the mood to crack jokes with you, I'm tired.'
Dearka raised his eyebrows. 'Why? You didn't sleep last night? Hmm, I wonder what you've been doing….'
'Shut it Dearka.' Yzak scowled.
Dearka stared at him until his coffee and brownies came. Ripping a packet of sugar, he dumped it into his latte and stirred it. 'You seem… different these days.'
Yzak shot him a glance. 'What do you mean different, why do I have a feeling that I don't like this "different" of yours?'
Dearka shrugged. 'I don't know, you work late and leave…'
Yzak crossed his arms. 'Yeah, that wasn't vague at all.'
Dearka sighed. 'You know what I mean. You used get off work on time and you know, go have fun, and not go home.'
Yzak looked at him in the eye. 'If you want to ask about me and Shiho, just ask, don't make yourself look like an idiot.'
Dearka leaned forward. 'So it's true, you have been spending time with Shiho for the past two months.'
'You are one nosy bitch Dearka.' Yzak said. 'Has anyone told you that?'
'Yes.' Dearka said promptly. 'But I know a certain Iwen and Gazelle that are much more nosier than me.'
Yzak rolled his eyes. 'So they told you?'
Dearka shrugged. 'A little bit, Gazelle's been complaining to Iwen and Iwen has been bitching about it to me.'
'Why is she bitching about anything?' Yzak asked absently, opening another file.
'Because she's obsessed?' Dearka suggested, taking a bite of his brownie.
'Then she doesn't know where she stands.' Yzak said.
'I keep wondering…' Dearka paused and looked at Yzak, 'would you have turned into a bitter and cynical person if you hadn't been betrayed during the war.'
Slamming the file shut, Yzak stood up. Grabbing his mug, he drained down the rest of his coffee. 'Get the RCL report done and filed Major.'
'Avoid the subject Jule, I don't mind.' Dearka said quietly. 'But you know it's still there.'
Looking over his shoulder, Yzak just gave him a look. 'Get it done.'
'Yes sir.'
When he got back to his office, Yzak threw himself into his chair and racked his fingers through his hair. 'Can't a guy just enjoy a cup of coffee undisturbed?' Staring into space for a while, he unconsciously reached up his hand and undid his collar, fingering the platinum wedding band dangling from a matching chain. He had been doing this a lot for the past two months.
'Commander Jule!' A knock on the door pulled him back to reality.
Buttoning his collar back up, Yzak turned in his seat. 'Come in.'
It wasn't until a few hours later did Yzak find his secretary packing up and leaving outside his room.
'It's already seven thirty Commander.' She said, giving him a smile. 'My husband's been complaining. He's made a fancy dinner, it's his birthday today.'
Yzak raised his eyebrows while leaning against the frame of his door. 'Why is he making the dinner?'
'Because you made me work until seven thirty.' His secretary retorted.
'Sorry.' Yzak apologized. 'I didn't realize that you were married and all.'
'You're married too Commander Jule.' She reminded, slinging her handbag over her shoulders. 'Besides, I'm already twenty six.'
Yzak smiled. 'Right.'
'Have a good night Commander.' Bowing her head slightly, she turned.
'You too.' Yzak called, watching as she disappeared into the dark hallway. Shaking his head, he turned back to his office and tossed the file onto his desk. Exhaling loudly, he decided to call it a night.
'It's only seven forty five.' Yzak muttered as he climbed into his car. Slamming the door shut, he watched as the rain blurred his windshield. Starting the engine, Yzak turned on the wipers, watching as it cleared the windshield slightly, bit by bit. Sighing, he turned on the heater and leaned his chair back, watching the wipers run back and forth.
Should he go home?
You want to. A little voice in his head whispered.
For the past two months, he had worked late, on average until eleven and would have been too tired to think. When he got into his car, he'd automatically drive back home, park his car, go up to his room and find his wife either asleep on the bed, brushing her hair at the dressing table or reading on the big easy chair. Every night she'd be there when he came back, as if she was waiting for him.
At first, he just wanted to experiment, wanted to see if she'd be there every night, but after two weeks of 'experimenting', it became a routine and he'd find himself driving back home every night. He found himself looking forward to opening that door and finding her there. She'd give him a small smile and he'd usually go into the bathroom, take a shower and come out again with her usually lying on the bed in a silk slip.
She was just irresistible.
Staring at the ceiling of his car, Yzak found himself fingering his wedding ring again.
Every night, after they had sex, they were silent. They'd rarely say anything, couldn't really find anything to say. Sometimes he'd have his arms around her, trying to warm her up. Sometimes she'd turn away from him and sleep with her back facing him. On nights like those, Yzak got little sleep. He'd just have his head turned on his pillow and stare at her back, watch her breath in and out, watch her until morning came.
He'd usually get up quietly and dress for work, not wanting to wake her up. Sometimes, once in a while, give her a kiss, thinking she'd be asleep but knowing he was wrong when she'd kiss her back and it would quickly get out of control. He'd have her lingering in his mind the whole day and be kicked by Dearka.
He never thought of settling down, especially after the war. He was only seventeen and he was entitled to have fun like any other teenager. One of the reasons he indulged himself in endless nighttime entertainment was to prove that he could be a normal screwed up teenager if he wanted to, he wasn't just the Yzak Jule in ZAFT and the council that was pushed to exhaustion with work. He refused to be like that and he refused to settle down, even when married.
After two months, he came to a brutal realization that he wanted to settle down despite being only nineteen. The war had drained him, he had to admit it, he would never really understand nor truly experience the wild teenage stage. He didn't have the privilege to do so anymore, his mind was too mature. Why was he all bitter and cynical? It wasn't just about the betrayal, it was the effect of the war as a whole. He was a kind of damage, he had lost his innocence, lost his ignorance, a blissful kind of ignorance normal teenagers who have not joined the war enjoyed. Sometimes, lying there with his eyes wide awake, Shiho in his arms, he'd wondered if, just if, he had a chance to turn back time, would he want to grow up as a normal teenager. If they had grown up as normal teenagers, would they be together?
Together? Really together?
Every morning, he'd wake up beside Shiho, wanting to say something, but couldn't, or wouldn't. At first, he wanted to treat her like any other fling he'd have out there, yet it was clear that after two months, this wasn't just a fling that he coincidentally married. Sure, their relationship, till now, was still purely sexual, but a voice inside kept telling him that he wanted more. They never really had a civil conversation, never even went on a date, never eaten together yet they slept together every night. That disturbed him, what disturbed him even more was that that thought disturbed him.
He was starting to care about things, he was starting to fucking care.
Care…
Pulling his seat upright, Yzak put on his seatbelt and unlocked his breaks, steering out of the deserted parking lot of the ZAFT headquarters.
It was time to go home.
'You've been working on this sewing of yours for a long time, who's it for?'
Looking up, Geherin smiled at the nurse while pulling on her needle. 'It's a present.'
'Dolls? For kids?' The nurse asked, pulling the curtains open.
Looking down at the black doll's suit she was sewing, Geherin nodded. 'Yeah, for a kid I love.'
Just then a knock came from the door.
'Do you want me to open it for you?' The nurse asked.
Geherin nodded, pulling her sewing into the bag and stuffing it into the drawer, closing it shut.
'I'm telling you, it's not like that!' Shiho's voice came in.
'Come on, seriously, do you think I'm stupid or something?' Another male voice muttered, making Geherin raise her eyebrows.
'Mrs Jule.' The nurse smiled.
'How's my sister doing today?' Shiho asked, giving Geherin a wave.
'She's doing great.' The nurse nodded her head. 'Have a chat with her.'
'Hey.' Geherin held her hand out for Shiho. 'How's it going? Who's this boy?'
'Boy?' Azuiles raised his eyebrows.
'You are still a boy.' Shiho said flatly, sitting down on the chair. 'This is Azuiles, Yzak's brother.'
Geherin turned and looked at him. 'So, you're the project who kept my sister occupied for the last three months.'
'Only one and a half.' Azuiles corrected, sitting down too. 'I was clean by the end of October.'
Geherin cocked her head. 'He doesn't seem that bad.'
Shiho snorted. 'Believe me, he was a complete pain in the ass when I saw him, with weed.'
Azuiles just shrugged and sat back with his arms crossed.
Geherin smirked. 'Weed huh? You must've been wild.'
'Well, there was no one around so I got wild.' Azuiles muttered.
Geherin laughed and nodded. 'I wish I had what it took to be wild. A tequila once in a while would be nice.'
Azuiles snorted. 'With a sister like that, I wouldn't. You have no idea what she put me through.'
Geherin winced and shot a glance at Shiho who had her arms crossed. 'I'd rather not know then.'
'You two just knew each other right?' Shiho asked, crossing her legs.
'I have a natural charm.' Azuiles smirked. 'My brother has one too if you haven't noticed.'
Shiho made a face at him. 'Shut up Azuiles.'
The door suddenly opened.
'Dr. Lazensky.' Geherin smiled.
Dr. Lazensky smiled at Geherin. 'How are you feeling today? Any chest pains?'
Geherin shook her head weakly.
Dr. Lazensky raised her eyebrows and nodded. 'Mrs. Jule, do you mind if we step outside for a bit, I want to discuss something with you.'
'Sure.' Sitting up, Shiho gave Geherin a kiss on her forehead. 'Be back soon, don't kill her Azuiles.'
'Hey!' Azuiles raised his hands up in the air. 'I may have beena pot head before but I'm not a murder in anyway.'
'Yeah, I should give you some credit for that.' Making a face, Shiho left the room with Dr. Lazensky.
'Why are they discussing something outside?' Azuiles asked, turning back to Geherin. 'It has to be about you, why don't you want to listen to what they're going to say?'
Geherin looked at him briefly before turning her head, looking out the window. 'I think it's going to rain, don't you think?'
Azuiles too looked out the window. 'And you think we'd have better weather because we're an artificial colony.'
'Artificial…' Geherin's voice trailed.
Azuiles shot a glance at her. 'You okay?'
Shaking her head, Geherin turned to Azuiles. 'I've been sick ever since my childbirth Azuiles, the hospital has been my second home ever since. I never get a chance to do anything I like, anything I want, I can't be independent from the hospital, I'm attached.' She sighed and looked down. 'I'm already sick and tired of listening to doctors and their diagnoses and plans, so I let Shiho discuss them with the doctors, I don't want to have anything to do with it.'
Azuiles raised his eyebrows. 'You do know it's your body we're talking about right?'
Geherin snorted. 'It's better this way, I'm living in denial and ignorance.'
Azuiles paused for a moment. 'I guess. And it seems to work for you too.'
'It's been too long.' Geherin said quietly. Reaching out one hand, she opened the drawer and took out her sewing. 'Denial and ignorance works for me Azuiles, or I'd have lost my mind by now.'
'What's that?' Azuiles asked.
Geherin smiled and held up one doll. 'Make a guess.'
Azuiles stared at the doll. 'Don't tell me that's my brother.'
Geherin nodded as Azuiles took it. 'It does look a little like him, the hair.'
'I'm working on his suit.' Geherin said, reaching for the needle. 'I've already finished Shiho, except for the veil.'
'What is it?' Azuiles asked, setting the boy doll down on the bed.
'It's my wedding present.' Geherin said softly. 'I didn't get to go to their wedding.'
'Me neither.' Azuiles rolled his eyes. 'Talk about siblings.'
Geherin laughed. 'So, how are they now?'
'Them?' Azuiles shrugged and crossed his arms. 'They're having sex.'
'I take that is an improvement.' Geherin smiled dryly with her eyes raised.
'You knew they weren't having sex at the beginning of their marriage right?' Azuiles asked.
Geherin shrugged. 'I saw it in her eyes, she was unhappy.'
'And you're saying that she's happy now?' Azuiles asked uncertainly.
Geherin cocked her head. 'Better than before, that's all I can say.'
Azuiles snorted. 'At least she's not using me to kill time.'
Geherin sighed and put her sewing down. 'Is she happy? Is she even capable of being happy anymore?'
Azuiles looked at her briefly before exhaling loudly. 'I don't know, I honestly don't know and it's not just Shiho, my brother too. Scars of war?'
Geherin looked out the window, watching as the rain poured. 'I feel like a total burden, I can't help anyone, my Father, my Mother and my sister. I don't know what I can do anymore you know? I…'
'You can still make dolls.' Azuiles said, smirking.
Geherin smiled and nodded, feeling tears stream down her face. 'Yeah, the kids in the hospital love my dolls, they love them…'
'Geherin?' Azuiles' eyebrows furrowed as she suddenly fell back, her eyes closing. He looked up when the annoying long beep from the monitor beside him rang. Cursing, he dashed towards the door and flung it open. 'Nurse! Get the fuck in here!'
'What's going on?' An intern rushed past him, taking off his lab coat. 'We got be fib, Code blue!"
Azuiles was pressed against the wall as he watched a team of nurses push a tray into the room.
Lowering the head of the bed, the intern ripped Geherin's collar opened. 'She's lost pulse. Charge the panel to two hundred!'
'Clear!'
A nurse shook her head. 'Still no pulse Dr. Deco, fifteen seconds.'
The intern gritted his teeth. 'Charge it to three hundred.'
'Twenty two seconds.'
'Three sixty!' The intern shouted.
'Still no pulse Doctor!' The nurse reported, staring at the screen.
'Come on Geherin! You're not going to fucking bail on me now.' The intern muttered, pressing her chest. 'Charge again!'
'Dr. Deco, at sixty seconds you should – '
'Are you the doctor or me?' Deco shouted. 'Charge the damn thing!'
The nurse stared at him briefly before nodding. Time seemed to have stopped as they all stared at the screen until a slow beep rang.
'I see sinus rhythm.' The nurse reported. 'Blood pressure's coming up.'
Exhaling loudly, Deco stared down at Geherin who was coughing loudly. 'You're okay.'
'What happened?' Geherin whispered, staring up at him in fear.
Deco took deep breaths and brushed some of her hair out of her face. 'You fscared the shit out of me.'
Geherin just smiled up at him. 'Sorry.'
'What the hell happened?' Dr. Lazensky rushed in.
'Her heart stopped.' Deco reported.
Azuiles had no idea he was holding his breath until Dr. Lazensky turned to his direction. 'You are?'
'Azuiles.' Azuiles answered, blinking blankly. 'I'm, her sister's brother-in-law.'
Dr. Lazensky sighed. 'Do me a favor.'
'Yeah?'
'Find Mrs. Jule for me.' Dr. Lazensky said.
Raising his eyebrows, Azuiles, turned his head. 'But she was – '
'Just look for her.'
'Hey.' Azuiles stuck his hands into his pockets.
Looking at him sideways, Shiho sighed and turned back to the glass panel. 'Aren't they cute?'
Azuiles leaned against the panel and looked inside the delivery room. 'They are pretty cool.'
Just then, a doctor in purple scrubs walked in and gave Shiho a smile and wave.
'You come here often?' Azuiles asked.
'I come here every time, before I go.' Shiho whispered. 'It sort of tells me that there's still hope in life, you know.'
Crossing his arms, Azuiles turned his back to the glass. 'Why did you just take off like that?'
Shiho stared into the neotonal ward for a few moments before turning to Azuiles. 'It's been the third time in her life that she had to be shaken up by that damn thing.'
Azuiles just stared at her, watching as she tried to hold back her tears.
'She had heart failure when she was born.' Shiho said quietly, looking away. 'She was lucky to have had a heart transplant when she was two weeks old, but her heart just couldn't keep up.'
'She had another one?' Azuiles asked.
Shiho nodded. 'She had another one when she was eleven. I remember sitting at the hospital by her bed, watching as her breath became shallower and shallower. We were so happy when the doctor said that they found a heart, but much to everyone's surprise, Geherin didn't want it, she didn't want the heart.'
Azuiles frowned. 'Why?'
Shiho sighed. 'It seemed as if she had given up, given up completely. My Mom was so mad and likeit or not, she had to do the heart transplant because my Mom called the shots, she was still a minor. I asked after the surgery why she refused to do it, I even accused her. She stared at me and said she didn't want someone else to die in order for her to live, she said she knew she wouldn't last long, she didn't want to live, she had lost all faith. My Mom was a very faithful Christian and she prayed every day, and my sister said our Mom prayed for someone else to die in order for her live. That's when she had a second heart failure.'
Azuiles stared at her. 'That's why she doesn't know anything about her situation?'
Shiho nodded. 'Yeah. Her heart's failing again and the doctor said they finally found her a heart that matches her blood type and size. If her blood type hadn't been this rare, she would have changed her heart long ago, after the war.'
Azuile snodded. 'Yeah, there were a lot of bodies that could be harvested then.'
Shiho took a deep breath. 'She's going to get the heart transplant soon, I hope this time it will really last.'
'If she wants it too.' Azuiles said.
Turning, Shiho smiled at him. 'Yeah, if she wants it to.'
'Come on.' Azuiles pushed himself from the glass panel. 'Let's go, it's getting late and I'm hungry.'
Looking down at her watch, Shiho sighed. 'It's already eight. You want to buy take out or something?'
Azuiles shrugged. 'Sure, whatever. I want to say goodbye to your sister first.'
'You guys are like best friends.' Shiho muttered as they made their way to Geherin's ward. 'You're sort of creeping me out with this, this…'
'This what?' Azuiles sneered. 'Didn't think the pothead you knew before would be good at social skills?'
'Shut up.' Shiho muttered, nudging him in the ribs.
When they looked through the window of Geherin's ward, Dr. Deco was sitting on the side of the bed, stroking Geherin's face.
'Did you have any idea they were…' Azuiles looked at Shiho.
Shiho frowned. 'I don't know.'
Azuiles raised his eyebrows. 'Looks like you're not the only one who keeps your sister company.'
Shiho rolled her eyebrows. 'Shut it Jule.' Reaching for the knob, she turned it.
'Mrs. Jule.' Deco gave her a nod and stood up.
'I'm just here to say good bye to my sister.' Shiho said.
'Don't let me get in the way.' Deco bowed his head slightly, stepping aside.
'See you later.' Shiho gave her a kiss on the forehead. 'You're going to get a new heart soon.'
Geherin nodded. 'I know, Aviar told me already.'
'Take care of her for me Dr. Deco.' Shiho said, smiling at Aviar.
Aviar nodded deeply. 'I will, no worries.' He made a move to kick her. 'Now get the fuck out of here.'
'You get a lot of doctor's who say fuck around here?' Azuiles asked, raising his eyebrows.
'Only him.' Geherin laughed weakly.
'So, where do you want to go grab food.' Azuiles asked.
Shiho shrugged, taking the keys out of her pocket. 'I don't know, your call.'
'Chinese.' Azuiles said promptly, grabbing the keys from Shiho.
'Hey!' Shiho glared at him.
'Come on.' Azuiles rolled his eyes. 'You know you don't have idea where the Chinese take out is, plus you drive slow.'
Shiho put her hands on her hips. 'Hey, if I wanted to race, I'd leave you to eat dust bunnies.'
'Yeah.' Azuiles made a face at him.
'Hey!' Shiho pointed a finger at him. 'I fought in the war, I piloted a Mobile Suit.'
'Oh yeah, I forgot.' Shrugging, Azuiles unlocked the car.
'So, will I never gain any respect from you Azuiles Jule?' Shiho asked, crossing her arms after she fastened her seatbelt.
'Uh…' Azuiles looked up thoughtfully, then turned and flashed her a big smile. 'Yeah, you got that one right.'
'Asshole.' Shiho muttered.
'Bitch.' Azuiles shot back as he gunned the engine.
They sat there in silence as Azuiles drove in the rain. After noting that Azuiles had shot glances at her more than once at traffic lights, Shiho sighed and turned to him. 'Spit it.'
Azuiles rolled his eyes. 'Nothing, it's just…'
'Spill.' Shiho said flatly. 'You know you're going to, so save the suspense and agony and spill it already.'
'Fine.' Azuiles snapped. 'I was just wandering what I should do with my life.'
'Well, you've been trying to find something for the past month and a half.' Shiho muttered. 'Trying practically everything except for military.'
'I know.' Azuiles murmured.
'And you know Yzak's not going to let you step foot in either military nor politics.' Shiho reminded.
Azuiles rolled his eyes. 'Like I'd want to, please, it's so boring.'
'Did something click you today?' Shiho asked, eyeing him.
'You think I'd do good being a surgeon?' Azuiles asked as he parked the car in the disserted parking lot in front of an isolated take out shop which seemed to be in the middle of nowhere.
Shiho turned and looked at him fully, cocking her head. 'You know what, you probably can, if you put your guts into training. You know Aviar?'
Azuiles raised his eyebrows. 'What about the dude? He was a pothead too?'
Shiho shook her head and undid her seatbelt. 'No, but he was on rebellious kid. He knocked up a girl when he was fifteen.'
Azuiles widened his eyes. 'Impressive. How old is he now?'
'Twenty.' Shiho smiled. 'Yeah, but the girl died in childbirth before he had a chance to actually take responsibility. He felt really guilty and his parents disowned him. He eventually got himself a scholarship and finished med school in three years. He's been an intern for a year already, that's where he met my sister.'
'Are they…' Azuiles voice trailed.
Shiho shrugged. 'Who knows? Probably.'
'Wicked.' Azuiles sneered. 'Okay, I'm starved, I need food. You really think we don't need to call Niolava?'
Shiho rolled her eyes. 'If she sees us not back, she won't cook.'
'You think Yzak would…'
Shiho paused, holding the door open. 'No, he won't, he's not the type to come home for dinner anyways.'
Azuiles watched as Shiho slammed the door shut. 'Yeah, you're right.'
They got Chinese food and hung out in the parking lot, spreading their food on the hood like a table, looking up at the stars through the huge colony panel.
It wasn't until eleven did they park the car and enter the quiet house.
'You think my brother would be upstairs waiting for you for a change?' Azuiles sneered, his cell phone to his ear.
Stopping in her tracks, Shiho turned and crossed her arms. 'Don't think you know everything Azuiles Jules, seriously.'
Shrugging, Azuiles turned and headed for the basement. 'I think I'm just going to turn it into my private suite.'
Shaking her head, Shiho turned and headed for the stairs. 'Have a good night.'
Azuiles turned and pointed a finger at him. 'Oh I know you're going to have a good night.'
Sticking her tongue out, Shiho turned and dashed up the stairs. Reaching the end of the hall, she couldn't help but burst into laughter as she opened the door. Azuiles could make her laugh, he was still a kid, a boy.
'You're back.'
Shiho stopped in her tracks when Yzak turned in the easy chair with a glass of red wine in his hands.
'Yzak!' Shiho exclaimed before she could hold herself.
Yzak's eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at his file. 'What? Surprised to find me in my own bedroom?'
'Uh, no.' Shiho closed the door quietly behind her. 'I – I was just – '
'You were with Azuiles, I know.' Yzak said absently, skimming through his file. 'I heard his voice.'
Shiho sighed in relief. 'Thank you.'
Yzak raised his eyebrows and set his glass down. 'Who do you think I thought you were with?'
'No one.' Shiho muttered.
'I'm not a paranoid Shiho.' Yzak scowled.
Shiho watched as Yzak turned back to his file as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. Walking up to him, she crossed her arms. 'You're stressing yourself too much Yzak.'
Yzak snorted in return. 'Can I help it? I'm in the council and ZAFT, just trying to do my job here.'
Shiho frowned. 'It was just a comment, no need to be snappy.'
Yzak looked over his shoulder briefly. 'You use to work for me so you know perfectly well, I don't need you to emphasize my shitty working condition, not when I'm married to you, I hear enough already.'
There was an awkward pause and Yzak was on the verge of apologizing, but Shiho beat him to it.
'I'm sorry.' Shiho said softly. Placing her fingers at the side of his head, she started messaging it.
'What are you doing?' Yzak asked quietly.
'You have a headache don't you? A message might help.' Shiho responded.
'How do you know I have a headache?' Yzak muttered.
'You're drinking red wine.' Shiho replied promptly. 'You only do that when you have a headache.'
They were silent as Yzak relaxed unconsciously. He almost fell asleep when Shiho removed her hands from his head. 'Where are you going?'
'I've been out all day at the hospital, I want to take a shower.' Shiho said as she closed the door to the bathroom.
Yzak stared at the bathroom door until the shower turned on. Draining the rest of the wine from his glass, he stood up and walked towards the bed. He stared at it for a bit before sighing and grabbed the towel from his neck, tossing it into the hamper beside the nightstand. He then took off his faded black T-shirt and sweats, tossing them into the hamper too.
Climbing onto the bed, Yzak pulled the sheets to his waist and fingered the wedding ring dangling at his chest again.
When he walked into the door earlier, he had panicked, panicked as in heart racing and sweat dripping. He thought he was too late, that she had decided to not wait for him anymore. He had paced the room in frustration, tried to take a shower to calm himself down and ended up with a bottle of wine and a ZAFT report on his lap. He wasn't reading it, just staring at the characters that were supposed to be words that he understood. He clearly felt his heart skip a beat when the door had clicked open and he heard the familiar voice of his wife, but it was a laugh he had never heard before.
Will I be lucky the next time? Yzak wondered, staring at the bathroom door. When he heard the shower stop, he undid the chain and slipped the ring onto his left fourth finger. Staring down at it, he turned it on his finger. It didn't look too bad.
The answer was clear, no one's lucky every single time. He was lucky today but he wouldn't be in the future. People had limits and Shiho was no exception. Sure, she was good at waiting, but there will be a time when she'd realize that he wasn't worth the waiting anymore, and she'd leave, instead of him.
She'd leave.
Stepping out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped loosely around her damp body, Shiho looked at Yzak briefly before turning away. Walking up to the wardrobe, she let her towel slip to the floor and pulled on white silk panties and bra. She never was a fancy person and he'd never seen her in lace. Watching as she slipped into a simple white chemise, Yzak's eyes followed her. Sitting down at her dressing table, she freed her hair from the clip, letting it flow down her back. She looked at Yzak in the mirror briefly before fingering the knob on the drawer. Gulping, she opened it. Staring down at the contents briefly, she picked up a brush and closed it.
'What happened at the hospital today?' Yzak asked, much to Shiho's surprise.
'How did you know?' Shiho turned in her seat, the brush halfway through her hair.
Yzak looked at her silently. 'Azuiles called me.'
Looking down, Shiho ran the brush down her hair completely, feeling her hands shake, feeling Yzak's eyes on her back.
This was new.
'Come here.' Yzak said quietly, looking at her in the mirror. They stared at each other in the mirror for a while, each trying to decipher the others thoughts.
After what seemed like forever, Shiho put the brush down and stood from the stool and walked towards the bed. She looked down at Yzak briefly before climbing up the bed.
Pulling the sheets up to her waist, Yzak wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him. Shiho was a bit stiff at first but started to relax when he gently moved her head onto his shoulder. Feeling his arm slip down to her waist, she blinked when he grabbed her left hand with his, lacing their fingers together. She could feel the cold metal of his wedding ring against her skin.
This was definitely new.
'Do you really want to know?' Shiho whispered. 'Do you really want to start caring?'
Did he want to start caring? Could he afford to start caring? Did he have the right to start caring?
He didn't know, but he knew that he'd be scared, he'd panic when the day came where Shiho Hahnenfuss would no longer wait for him because… because he was just too damn stupid and cowardice to start caring.
Tightening his grip around her hand, Yzak let his other hand run down her hair like a brush. 'Tell me, I want to start caring.'
Closing her eyes, Shiho relaxed completely against Yzak's warm bare chest, returning the squeeze. 'It's a long story.'
Yzak looked down at their entwined fingers. 'We have all night.' And all the nights to come.
The night went on with Shiho feeling more hopeful that she had ever been in her life. The idea of Yzak actually willing to talk to her was overwhelming, let alone willing to talk to her until the next day. All her life, hope felt so far away, first her sister, then the war, then this marriage. Yzak gave her hope and it would be painful when he took it away.
Little did she know that the time would come so fast, that when she woke up the next day, the sun shining on her lying on the bed, Yzak would be staring at her from the easy chair, his phone clasped in one hand, staring at her intently. She'd think that he was staring at her with emotion, or even, pathetically, with love, but when he'd open his mouth, it would be a totally different story.
A story that would end the hope she felt for such a small amount of time, for only a night.
End of Chapter 4
Next Update: 2nd June, 2006
A/N: I wonder if anyone would say 'oh man, why can't you just end the story without the last two paragraphs and make it a happy ending?' Yeah... that wouldn't be me if I let them off that easy. Hope you guys are having fun with this story, and thank you very much for the reviews, keep them coming!
