PINA
I set my head down on the counter, exhausted and more disheartened than I can remember being in a very long time. I know I need to sleep as that would at least fix part of my problem but right now I'm far too worried about my mate to bother with such mundane things. Dar didn't come home last night, or at least to bed, his or mine, where could he be? What if something happened to him? What if he's injured? What if he lost? What if he's… No. No I will not start that train of thought. Come on, Scorpina, pull it together, he's a warrior the same as you, he's fine and besides you have work to do and a promise to keep.
Firmly reminding myself of just who said promise is to I find myself forcing back just a bit of anger as even if unintentional it is that boy's fault my mate is missing. Sigh. Okay, okay, breathe and push it aside. Focus. Once he comes down for breakfast, I'll go get the meds from the hangar bay and review the instructions so I'm ready to treat him. If I remember correctly, it's not difficult, but I really don't want to screw it up.
Unfortunately, even as the plans form in my mind, I know my heart really just isn't in it and I find that, much to my shame, I don't want to treat Tommy. I don't want to take him in the woods as I promised. I just flat out don't want to mess with him today. What I do want to do is find and deal with my mate and there is little or no chance of that happening right now.
The final gurgle of the coffee maker is what does get me to raise my head before I drag myself off the stool and over to the machine to pour a cup. Without pausing to think, I quickly drain the cup and pour a second, this time sweetening it the way I like. The first was far more bitter than I care for, but I need the caffeine that badly.
As I sit back down and lay my head on the counter once more, I hear footsteps approaching from the hallway. Knowing it's not my mate, I remain still, more or less uninterested.
As the door opens allowing Zedd and Tommy to enter the kitchen I hear them pause in their conversation - probably at the sight of me with my head on my arms.
"Pina?"
Tommy's soft voice like a spike to my head I remain where I am and speak, my arms muffling my words, "I'm awake."
I hear someone, probably Tommy, slide into the seat next to me as Zedd crosses to the coffee pot. Somehow, I'm just not really that surprised when the human asks, "Are you okay?"
If you only knew. "Just tired, Tommy." The sound of the sliding coffee cup grates across my already frayed nerves and it's all I can do not to snap at Zedd.
"No breakfast?" I swear to the higher powers Zedd if you don't drink your coffee quietly I will stab you with my spoon.
With great restraint I respond to his question, surprised when I manage to keep my voice level with effort. "Sorry, Zedd. I was going to make breakfast for a change this morning, but I just couldn't get started - at least, not until the coffee was done."
Voice moving from curious to suspicious, Zedd's follow up question is not surprising. "You were going to make breakfast? So Dar is not yet up?"
Not in the mood to play this game anymore, I respond without much care. "I have no idea." Hell, I'm not even sure where he is at the moment.
Silence stretches for several minutes before he speaks again. "I see."
Wearily, I raise my head to drink from the cup in my hand and from the corner of my eye, I can see the pair of them studying me. I know I look like hell, but I couldn't even find the energy to raise a glamour to hide my tiredness, much less bother with the human makeup. Actually, I don't think I could care less at the moment how I look and if they have anything at all to say about it they better be ready to take my tail and stinger to the mouth.
Finally seeming to decide what to say, Zedd wisely keeps any views on my appearance to himself. "Pina, where is Dar?"
I shift my gaze to look at him, my expression no doubt betraying my displeasure. "I don't know."
Not one to apparently know when to be quiet, or perhaps it's just due to his head injury, either way Tommy speaks at perhaps the worst possible time. "I'm sorry, Pina. I didn't mean to be so much of a bother." And not only speaks, but speaks in a way that makes me want to smack him across the room.
I can barely control my mouth, but I manage, as I respond with great restraint. "Not everything is your fault, Tommy. Dar is the one with the issue this time. I would appreciate it if you would try and stop thinking that you're always at fault." Even if you partly are this time.
Shrugging and still not taking the hint given in my tone and words, he unwisely speaks once more. "It might not be directly my fault, but I'm not going to lie to myself after all this and tell myself that me being here is easy for you guys."
Not surprisingly, Zedd starts protesting. "That's not the case Thomas. I told you, you are welcome here and in no way a burden. If anything you give us something to focus on, to break up the mundane routine that we had fallen into. We don't see that as a problem, but as-"
I listen to this nonsense for about a minute before I interrupt him with a loud, "Oh for hell's sake."
He stops, startled, and looks at me - though right now I couldn't care less.
"You wanted the truth last night. Do you still?"
"Yes." Even though I can see the human is surprised as well his answer is firm and my temper is just short enough to give him what he wants.
"Zedd wanted you here. I didn't care one way or the other until I saw you coming down the ramp of the ship looking like a beaten puppy and realized that you needed us. Dar has been against the idea since it was first mentioned. Dar spoke the truth when he said that we've changed our lives for you."
Zedd opens his mouth, but Tommy shakes his head. "No, Zedd. I asked for this. Let her finish."
"Since you got here, I have been more than willing to help you. My mistake was that I let it consume my time and I paid no attention to the needs of my mate. When you first got here, you needed - what do you call it? - to be handled with kid gloves. By the changes in you, I'd say that the drugs - except the one - are all out of your system and you are more yourself and you need to be treated as such. You are not a child Tommy, nor incapable of taking care of yourself, not to mention the fact you have a bond mate." Taking a breath I finish in a slightly calmer tone. "I cannot put my life nor my mate's on complete hold for you anymore. I will continue to help you, to be your friend, but as I said you have a bond mate, one that brought you here, and it's time for him to become your main watcher or - better yet - you start learning to do for yourself again."
Waiting for something between either tears or a tantrum in response, I'm highly confused when he only nods understandingly - that is until he speaks. "In other words, the world no longer revolves around me?"
Seeing and hearing his bit of humor over my tirade, I'm more than a little ashamed of my attitude. "Something like that."
I'm stunned when he reaches over and pats my arm. "Fair enough." He squeezes lightly before he speaks again. "Now that that's out of the way, what's going on? Last night, you left to go look for Dar and this morning you look awful."
Dryly, I answer, "Thanks so much." Sighing and not really in the mood to talk about it, I however do suppose I at least owe him that much after using him for my verbal punching bag. "Yes, I went to look for Dar last night. He wouldn't tell me what was wrong. All he would say about it was that it was his problem and he had to deal with it in his own way. He said that he would be in later. I stayed up waiting for him so that I would know that he was safe, but as far as I know, he didn't come in all night."
Silence reigns in the kitchen for several minutes before Zedd asks the last question I was expecting. "You two aren't bonded, are you?"
Sadly, I shake my head. "He could be lying dead or hurt somewhere and I wouldn't know. Not like you two."
Tommy and Zedd trade amused looks before Zedd speaks again. "Oh now that's not necessarily true. Thomas has learned to block me pretty well in the last day or so. Too well one might even say."
Remembering our fruitless search yesterday, I nod and concede the point. "But you still would have known if he was dead. And if he was hurt you still could have found him."
He nods. "That's true. What about this? You start Thomas' treatment and I'll take a look around outside for Dar. If I haven't found him by the time you're finished, we'll all look."
I stare at him unbelieving. "You do realize that the first stage of his treatment will take all of ten minutes?"
"Um, no, I didn't."
For some reason, I have the insane urge to 'poke the bear', as it were, after all it's not as if he doesn't deserve it to a degree. "You could just come with us. After all, I just have to use the injection gun to dose him." I can't help but grin when he pales slightly, knowing perfectly what the sight of that gun will do to him.
Watching the exchange curiously Tommy interrupts with a slightly unhappy look of his own. "So it's a shot?"
"For starters. I have to start you on a small amount, increase it a little at a time, and once you start to improve, I need to start to decrease it until you don't need it any more."
"And it has to be a shot?"
"Yes." Dragging myself off of my stool and draining what's left in my cup, I look at both males knowingly. "I know neither of you likes injections, but it has to be done this way, there's no alternative due to what the medicine is. Now I'm going to get the box and give the instructions a quick review. Meet me in the infirmary when you're done in here and don't be pokey about it."
I leave the room without waiting for an answer and head for the hangar bay. I am so tired I feel like the walking dead. Maybe after I dose Tommy and we find Dar - maybe then I can get a nap. I groan quietly to myself as I remember that I promised to take Tommy in the woods. I have no idea where I'll find the energy for that. Reminding myself to take one thing at a time, I grab the box where Zedd left it and turn toward the infirmary, reading the instructions as I go.
All right not too complex. Nothing that will take long or that should be any trouble, well aside where the location of said shot is.
Entering the infirmary and tossing the papers down, I grab an injection gun and load it, knowing full well that this will not be fun. I barely have the damn thing ready to go when the human pops his head in the door. "Are you ready or do you need more time?"
Gods, he sounds way too cheerful. Rather than say something that I'll regret due to my lack of rest and still present worry, I instead nod and point to the table. "Sit. Actually, lie down."
He frowns briefly, but does as he's told before I set the gun down on the table near his head. Carefully, I examine the area of his injury, trying to determine just where the shot hit, what angle, and other things. Unfortunately, this has to be done just right or there will be more damage, not less. And, yeah, wouldn't that round out my day fabulously. Finally, I find the mark and gently probe it getting a small whine of pain from Tommy as I do.
"Sorry Tommy, I know that can't feel good, but I have to find the exact spot and make certain it's workable." Fortunately it is as the bone is not completely repaired, so it won't be as bad as I feared.
Zedd walks in just as I finish and pick up the gun. "Zedd, hold his hands please. And I'm not really in the mood for an argument here. I'd have Dar do it if he was here, but he's not, so just do it. Tommy, don't move."
The last bit added as I feel him shift, I don't dare say anymore - mostly because I don't want to have to argue with Zedd when he realizes where this shot has to go. I glance at Zedd - who is holding his bond mate's hands and has his eyes closed looking rather pale - before looking at the human. Tommy's eyes are calm and trusting and that alone steadies my hands. Less than a day ago he didn't trust us because we lied to him. How can he trust so easily now?
Mentally shaking off the thought, I align the injection gun with the wound before taking a deep breath and pressing the button. There's a brief delay and then the machine tries to jump as it starts the injection. Luckily, I have a firm grip on it and it doesn't move. I wince at Tommy's yelp and slightly tighten my grip on his head as a reminder not to move.
Knowing this will take a bit longer than a standard injection, I speak quietly to distract them both. "Now, this medicine will seem to not work for the first several doses because it's trying to do two jobs - destroy the drug in your system and repair your brain as much as possible. The good news is that once the drug is destroyed, it can work solely on your brain. That's when we'll start to see real improvement. And before either of you ask, I don't know how long it will take. I'm not entirely sure how much he's had of the other drug."
Surprise, surprise - Zedd's not happy, though he at the very least keeps the desired tight hold on Tommy. "What do you mean, you don't know? You have his medical records."
I grit my teeth. "Because I'm not sure how accurate those records are. Add in that parts of them seem to be in code that I don't really have the time or the skill to break and I'm basically working blind here Zedd."
"So there's no way of knowing exactly what was done to him?"
Sighing and trying my best to keep my own grip on the whining in pain boy on the table, I respond to Zedd's question with great restraint. "Dar has the skill to break it, but that might do no good if it's medical jargon." Not to mention the little problem of him still missing right now.
Still mentally scowling at anything and everything that might have had even the slightest thing to do with my mate being gone, along with keeping the majority of my focus on the human currently under my hand, I'm taken by surprise as it's Tommy who responds instead of Zedd – though be painfully. "Hayley. Hayley might be able to do it."
Temper still short, I snap, "She probably could but she's supposed to be dealing with the assholes that did this to you."
Of course, Zedd has to chime in. "As much as I hate to say it, and you know I do Pina, he has a point. Justice moves pretty slowly on that planet and she might be grateful to have something to do with aiding in his recovery - seeing as she put him there in the first place." Fine, whatever great, good, not only lose my mate but also my place as medic, whatever.
"Fine. Then you can send her the email. After all - she does already have your address." Injection finally finished, I toss the device on the counter while keeping Tommy down on the table. Forcing my voice to take on a calmer tone considering what he just had to endure, I address him once more. "Stay down, while the injection went just fine, it was in a rather sensitive area so for the next several minutes, you're going to be uncomfortable if you get up."
"Okay." Once he answers me and I'm certain he intends to do as told, I release him and turn to the paperwork once more, scanning it for side effects on humans. Once I find it and read it through, and though the majority are fairly standard there is one final one that makes me realize that I probably should have done this before the shot. Of course, the former Ranger is so eager to get better, I doubt it would have deterred him in the least. Right just keep telling yourself that Pina, make the mistake better at least in your mind.
'If damage is severe, side effects may include catatonic periods and/or comatose state. These side effects are usually short term and, in some cases, can aid the healing process. However, artificially inducing these states may slow or stop the process.' Uh-oh. Do I tell them or play the wait and see game?
On the one hand if I say something Zedd will most likely lose his mind and Tommy will worry. On the other if I don't and something actually happens to the boy… Right I won't have to worry about a new job because I'm fairly certain I won't live long enough to be fired.
Deciding that the wait and see idea is the better of the two as at least it will grant me a little bit longer to live, I keep this information to myself. Though I'm certain they can both tell something is up as my tone softens to the one of coaxing concern I have been using on the boy before today. "Tommy, let me know if you don't feel right. Some of it might be normal, but you have to let me know just in case, okay?"
He nods slowly and carefully obviously not fully certain about moving just yet. Not that I can blame him after having a needle in his head for over a minute. "Can I get up now, or should I wait longer?"
"If you feel up to it and your head doesn't hurt you can get up slowly."
He slowly and carefully sits up with Zedd's help before standing carefully. "I feel okay, just hurts a little where you had to give me the shot. Now we're going to look for Dar, right?"
Zedd nods and turns his attention to me. "You stay here and rest in case we need to search the woods or he comes back. Tommy and I will search the grounds."
As much as I want to help look for my mate, I know that he's right. I'm in no condition to be out there right now. I watch the pair leave the room before I lay down on the table. Just for a minute.
