DISCLAIMER: 'Mr. and Mrs. Jule' is a story based on characters and situations from Kidou Senshi Gundam Seed which is a property of Sotsu Agency, Bandai Studios and TV Asashi. This work is non profited and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Unless specified, all materials in the web is work done by HERMIT JUNCTION. Please do not use without permission any text or artwork.
WARNING: Text and all related materials are rated PG13/T and may mild strong language and suggestive adult themes unless otherwise stated. Please do not read if you are underage or maybe offended by such material. Spoilers for Gundam Seed.
NOTE: This fanfiction disregards the plotline of the original series' sequel Gundam Seed Destiny.
GSEED Singles Series
Mr. and Mrs. Jule
a hermit junction project
Chapter 5: The Last Thing I Ask
Sometimes, too late is too late
No matter how hard to try
Things will just not go the way you want them to
Or hoped to be.
'I do hope that you have a plan Yzak.' Lamar Wyleed sat before Yzak with his arms crossed, her daughter sitting beside him on the sofa, staring at Yzak's blank face.
'A plan?' Yzak narrowed his eyes. 'What kind of plan did you have in mind Mr. Wyleed.'
'Don't toy with me Jule.' Wyleed's eyebrows furrowed. 'My daughter is pregnant with your child, I will not let my daughter go through this without a proper title.'
Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'That's why you're here?'
Wyleed narrowed his eyes. 'You think this is of no significance to you don't you Yzak? You might want to think twice the next time you go frolicking with another woman out there.'
Yzak turned to Gazelle. 'How many months?'
Gazelle bit her lip. 'Two and a half.'
Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'Really?'
Gazelle frowned. 'Are you accusing me of something because if you are, you can just say it in my face.'
Yzak cocked her head. 'Why would you think I'd accuse you of anything you haven't done, unless you are actually guilty of something.'
'You have no right of accusing me Yzak.' Gazelle countered. 'You knew perfectly well that you were – '
'Married?' Yzak finished for her, still having his eyes trained on her.
Gazelle glared at him. 'Yes.'
Yzak just shrugged. 'So, what do you want me to do now?'
'I want you to divorce Shiho Hahnenfuss.' Wyleed said promptly.
Yzak raised his eyebrows. 'Have you run this with Hahnenfuss? You think he'll let me?'
'Since when were you a puppet Yzak?' Wyleed taunted. 'Since when did you ever want to listen to anyone in the council? I have to say you got me surprised when you actually agreed to marry Shiho Hahnenfuss because of Agrip's absurd proposal.'
Yzak looked at Wyleed straight in the eye. 'I like weighing my chances and taking a challenge. I like to play with high stakes Wyleed, I see a higher return for me in Hahnenfuss, and you know perfectly well over the past three months that I was right.'
Wyleed stared back at Yzak. 'Is everything to you a chance, a game? Even a marriage?'
Yzak smirked. 'You could say that, doesn't everyone out there say that I married Shiho Hahnenfuss for politics? Doesn't everyone say that it's just a political union, your daughter thinks it's like that, that's why she let me screw her after I married in the first place – '
'Yzak Jule!' Gazelle stood up abruptly, her shoulder shaking in anger. 'That is just an outright insult!'
Yzak stared up at her. 'Really? Do you want to go into that right now in front of your Father?' At that, Gazelle went silent and could only glare at him.
'It's time you seriously consider taking responsibility for your personal life Yzak.' Wyleed said quietly, standing up. 'Make the right decision and I will help you deal with the rest. You've made the wrong decision three months ago and now it's the time to make the decision a correct one.' He paused. 'If you don't make the right decision, I will help you, starting from the press.'
Yzak didn't say anything as he watched Wyleed turn and leave the conference room, leaving Gazelle standing before him.
'Say something.' Gazelle whispered.
Yzak lowered his eyes and stood up, looking down at her. 'What do you want me to say Miss Wyleed?'
At that, Gazelle felt her heart drop.
Uncrossing his arms, Yzak took a step forward. 'You might consider the fact that I'm not the one making the bad decision. Think about it Miss Wyleed.'
Gazelle could only stand there, her fists balled up tightly.
Stepping out of the conference room, Yzak looked over his shoulder. 'Think about it Miss Wyleed.'
Gazelle could only feel her knees buckle as the door slammed behind her. Collapsing on the sofa, she held onto her abdomen and stared down at the floor, trying to catch her breath. She had never felt so threatened in her entire life, she had never thought Yzak Jule would threaten her, actually threaten her with such simple words.
Was she making a bad decision?
She was staring at herself in the mirror, more specifically staring at her abdomen. When was she going to physically change? Would he even notice?
Sighing, Shiho drew out her drawer and took out a compact. Dabbing her finger into the concealer pot, she dabbed it under her eyes and put some light blush on. She didn't want her sister to see her looking dead after the sleepless nights she had for the past week.
Sleeping was just not the same without Yzak anymore.
Clasping her compact shut, she opened her drawer again and tossed it in. She was about to close it again when her eye caught the pregnancy test. Lifting it up, she stared at it. Why didn't she just throw it away?
Because you want him to find it. A little voice in the back of her head screamed. Squeezing her eyes shut, she threw it into the drawer again and slammed it shut. She stared down at them mahogany wood for a few moments before taking a deep breath. Standing straight, she went to the coat tree and grabbed her white blazer. Throwing it on, she pulled her hair into a ponytail while walking out of the door, slamming it shut.
'Mrs. Jule, where are you going?' Ewan asked with a bouquet of flowers in her hands.
'I have to go to the hospital.' Shiho said breathlessly, looking for her keys. 'My sister's having her operation today and I have to go see her.'
Ewan smiled, hugging the flowers to herself. 'You are such a good sister.'
Shiho gave her a brief smile. 'Thanks. She's my only sister and she's been through a lot, especially since our Mother died when I was away at war and she was left to deal with the shock herself.'
'Really?' Ewan raised her eyebrows. 'You must have gone through a lot in the past few years, like the master himself. I guess people who come back from war change completely.'
'Really?' Shiho stood there with her arms crossed. 'Has the master changed a lot?'
Ewan shrugged. 'I don't know, I was hired after the war, but we always hear Niolava talk about the past, you know, before when the old master was still alive. Apparently there was a lot of drama when Master Azuiles joined the household. I heard that Master Yzak was very different and – '
'Mrs. Jule, are you going out?' Niolava came out of the kitchen, wiping her hands with the apron.
'Yes.' Shiho held out her car keys. 'I don't think I'll be back for dinner and such, it's going to be a very long day, I don't think I will come back at all tonight.'
Niolava nodded. 'Very well, do you want me to tell Mr. Jule if he comes back tonight?'
Shiho smiled. 'Sure, if he asks.'
Niolava nodded slowly, watching Shiho closely. 'Has something happened between the two of you? Mr. Jule hasn't been back for almost a week.'
Shiho nodded. 'Don't worry Niolava, we're fine.'
Niolava nodded. 'Very well. Please send my regards to Miss Hahnenfuss. I would make something, a basket of cookies or some goodies, but I don't know if Miss Hahnenfuss has a special diet she has to follow.'
Shiho shook her head. 'She doesn't. You can make her those famous oatmeal raisin cookies of yours when she gets better.'
Niolava smile. 'Then I'll have to go buy some eggs.'
'I'll see you guys later.' Giving them a brief wave, Shiho turned and left through the garage doors.
'Where are you going?' Azuiles popped up from behind the black sedan.
'Jeez, you scared me!' Shiho jumped.
Azuiles sneered. 'You never get startled, what's up? Something wrong with lover boy?'
Shiho rolled her eyes and unlocked the door. 'Mind your own business Azuiles.'
Azuiles raised his eyebrows. 'Definitely something to do with lover boy.'
Ignoring him, Shiho climbed into the car and slammed the door, gunning the engine. She was about to reverse out of the garage when Azuiles knocked on her window.
'What?' Shiho snapped, rolling the window down.
Azuiles just smirked at her. 'Tell Geherin I said good luck.'
Her eyes softening, Shiho nodded and reached out one hand, ruffling his hair. 'You know I hate you and love you at the same time don't you?'
Azuiles shrugged. 'It's in our blood, I'm sure you hate and love my brother too.'
'Shut it smarty pants.' With that, Shiho closed the window and steered out of the parking lot, waving at Azuiles before the garage doors closed. Taking a deep breath, she steered down the road, opening all four windows to get some fresh air. Much needed fresh air.
With thoughts occupying your mind and you desperately trying to push them away, time passed by slowly and the past week had been a complete torture for her and pathetically, it made this ride seem twice as long.
Parking her car in front of Aprillius Sacred Hospital, Shiho slammed the door shut with all the force she could muster, trying to hold herself back from kicking the door all together.
Whirling around, she tried to calm herself down as she walked through the automatic glass door, too busy concentrating that she didn't catch the turning heads as she walked down the hallway into the elevator.
'Shiho.' Aviar, Geherin's board in his hand.
'Shiho.' Geherin smiled and held out one hand.
'How's it going?' Shiho asked, sitting down on the bed beside Geherin.
'We're doing good.' Aviar said, setting the board back down. 'She's scheduled for operation in half an hour, so we're going to have to transfer you downstairs soon Geherin.'
'I have to do one thing first.' Geherin said. 'Get out.'
'Me?' Aviar frowned. 'Why me?'
'Because we're going to talk about something girly and I don't want anyone interrupting us, so you have to stay out there.' Geherin replied quickly.
'You want me to guard the door for you?' Aviar asked incredulously.
'Yes!' Geherin said, waving her hand in the air. 'Go!'
Grumbling under his breath, Aviar stomped out of the ward and closed the door quietly behind his back.
'You kicked him out?' Shiho laughed, taking Geherin's hand. 'You are so the only one he listens to.'
Geherin snorted. 'I do that all the time, he's my slave.'
Shiho snickered. 'Your slave huh? How do you plan on thanking him when you get the hell out of here?'
Geheirn shrugged. 'I have some ideas.'
'Like?' Shiho raised her eyebrows.
'I'll tell you when I get out of the OR, but now, I want to give you something in case I never get out of there alive.' Geherin said in a rushed voice, reaching for the nightstand beside her.
Shiho frowned. 'If you say that again I'm going to leave.'
Rolling her eyes, Geherin set the blue box on her lap. 'Shiho, we've been through this and you know there are risks, a big risk.'
Shiho snorted. 'Party pooper.'
'Anyway.' Geherin cleared her throat and extended both her arms with the box in both hands. 'Here you go, your late wedding present.'
Shiho blinked down at the box. 'A wedding present?'
Geherin nodded proudly. 'It's a bit late, but better be late than never don't you say?'
Opening the box with both hands, Shiho stared down at it for a few moments before lifting the two dolls up together. One had silver hair and was in a suit while the other had long brunette hair with a white wedding gown and a veil.
It was more than obvious, the two dolls that were sewn together were Shiho and Yzak.
'This is what you've been doing all this time?' Shiho asked, looking up from the dolls.
'I had to give you something for your wedding, you are my only sister.' Geherin said, fingering the veil on the girl doll. 'I did already miss your wedding.'
'I really don't know what to say Geherin.' Shiho murmured, holding the dolls up. 'They look beautiful. Thank you.'
'My blessings to you.' Geherin smiled, taking Shiho's hand into hers. 'Tell me something Shiho.'
Shiho looked up. 'Anything.'
'Are you happy?' Geherin asked softly.
Shiho stared at her for a while before smiling. 'I'm pregnant Geherin.'
Geherin stared at her as if she had grown to heads. 'You're pregnant?'
Shiho smiled and nodded. 'You're gong to have a niece or nephew soon, so you better get out of that OR alive.'
A wide smile spread crossed Geherin's face as she threw her arms around Shiho. 'I'm so happy for you.'
'Yes…' Shiho closed her eyes, returning the embrace tightly, feeling her eyes sting. 'You better get well soon because I'm going to need all the help I can get with the baby.'
'Have you seen a gynecologist yet?' Geherin asked quickly. 'You should, I mean, just to check out the baby and all, do you know if it's a boy or a girl?'
Shiho laughed. 'Look how excited you are! I only took the pregnancy test a week ago, I doubt that I'm pregnant for over a month, but I will see a gynecologist soon.'
Geherin sighed in relief. 'Shiho Hahnenfuss having a baby with Yzak Jule, your kid is so going to get laid…'
'Geherin!' Shiho cried. 'I can't believe you just said that!'
Geherin stuck her tongue out. 'I blame it on Aviar.'
Shiho shook her head and laughed. 'I blame it on Aviar too.'
'Blame me?' Aviar came in again. 'For what?'
'For teaching my sister how to talk dirty.' Shiho smirked, giving Aviar a light punch.
Aviar shrugged. 'Your sister is too innocent, someone has to teach her all that, might as well be me, I'm dirty already.'
'Probably the dirtiest among all the interns too Dr. Deco.' Dr. Lazensky stepped in with a small smile.
Aviar grumbled while Dr. Lazensky reached for Geherin's board. 'Are we all set and ready to go Geherin? Ready to get the hell out of here for a change?'
'Ready than ever doctor.' Geherin smiled.
'Someone's in a good mood.' Dr. Lazensky commented.
'There's no reason I shouldn't be.' Geherin turned and gave Shiho's hand a squeeze.
'You're going to be fine.' Shiho said softly.'
'She's in good hands.' Dr. Lazensky said. 'We should prep her for surgery now.'
'I'm all set.' Geherin said, nodding
'Will you be here?' Aviar asked as Shiho stood back.
Shiho nodded. 'I'll be here the whole time.'
'It's going to be a very long surgery.' Charlea warned. 'We might get into the night and all.'
Shiho raised her eyebrows. 'You're talking to a person who has seventy-two hour shifts onboard battle ships during the war.'
Aviar shrugged as he started pushing the bed. 'Sorry, forgot you were one of those warriors I should salute.'
'How's your transfer going by the way?' Geherin asked as Shiho took her hand.
'I honestly don't know, but I should get word soon.' Shiho replied. Very soon. When they reached the entrance of the operating room, they stopped. 'Hang in there okay?'
Geherin smiled up at her weakly. 'I'll try.'
'Don't worry, I'll keep an eye on her.' Aviar said. 'It'll be okay.'
'Good luck.' Shiho said softly. Leaning down, she kissed Geherin on the forehead. 'You still have a lot to look forward too.'
'I'll see you later then.' Geherin whispered.
Nodding at Aviar, Shiho stepped back and watched as the team of nurses wheeled her into the operating room. Taking a deep breath, Shiho couldn't help but hold her hands together tightly, gulping down the big lump in her throat.
When the lights to the operating room turned on, Shiho exhaled loudly and turned around. She paused at the sight of her Father standing there, still in his council suit.
'How is she?' Agrip asked softly.
'She's getting another heart transplant.' Shiho said in a low voice. 'Thanks for asking.'
Agrip sighed. 'Shiho, you know I didn't mean to – '
'Didn't mean to what?' Shiho asked curtly. 'Didn't mean to neglect Geherin after Mother died? Didn't mean to use busy as an excuse to not come home when we needed you most? Didn't mean to use your daughter's marriage as a political strategy?'
Agrip stared at her daughter. 'What am I to you?'
Shiho turned her head abruptly. 'I don't know and I don't want to care anymore.'
'Has Yzak talked to you about the situation yet?' Agrip asked quietly.
'No.' Shiho said curtly. 'And frankly, I don't think I want to care anymore. I'm broken Father, literally broken, I can't stoop any lower, I've hit rock bottom.'
Rock bottom. That was a really strong word.
Agrip too a deep breath. 'I saw Wyleed today and he told me he talked to Yzak and apparently he's going to – '
'I don't want to know!' Shiho cried, throwing her hands up. 'I don't want to know! It's over!'
'Shiho – '
'No!' Shiho put her hands to her ears. 'I don't want to care anymore, I can't take it anymore!' Pushing past her Father, she flounced down the hallway and disappeared around the corner. Pushing the doors to the stairways, she flew down the stairs until she reached the ground floor. Running out into the gardens, she hid behind a big oak tree, panting. Sliding down onto the grass patches, she pulled her knees to her chest and buried her face, tears overflowing.
Little did she have the time to notice that Yzak was standing at the back doors of the hospital wing, wanting to step forward but holding back. Painfully holding back.
'I'm still alive?' Geherin whispered as she stared at Shiho.
Shiho smiled. 'Look who's here?'
Turning her head slightly, Geherin widened her eyes at the sight of Agrip. 'Papa, you were here the whole time?'
Agrip nodded, taking Geherin's hand. 'You've made it again Geherin, I'm proud of you.'
'How long has it been?' Geherin asked, turning to Shiho.
'Thirteen hours.' Shiho replied. 'Aviar has been here the whole time.'
'Where is he now?' Geherin asked weakly.
'He's in the call room, he almost dropped dead after the surgery.' Shiho said softly. 'He's going to come and check on you soon.'
Geherin nodded, smiling. 'I hope he comes soon.'
'So, who is this Aviar?' Agrip asked.
Taking a deep breath, Shiho stood up. 'You have a lot of explaining to do young lady, I'll leave you with Father.'
'Are you going to come back soon?' Geherin asked.
'Of course I will silly.' Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, Shiho turned and left the room. Closing the door quietly behind her, Shiho felt her heart pound in her ears. Geherin was alive, she made it.
Exhaling loudly, Shiho walked down the stairs and found herself getting off at the same floor she did every time. Walking up to the huge ward, Shiho smiled at the babies through the glass panel, touching the glass unconsciously. Sliding her hand down the panel, she touched her abdomen.
What was she going to do? What in the world was she going to do?
Shiho snapped back to reality when something hit her arm. Turning, she found herself staring into the same cobalt blue eyes she stared into for the past two months in bed.
'What are you doing here?' Shiho asked, trying to hold her voice together.
'Coffee.' Yzak held the paper cup up to her. 'You need it.'
Taking a deep breath, Shiho grabbed the red paper cup from him and turned to the glass panel again. 'What are you doing here?'
'I heard from Azuiles that Geherin was having the heart transplant, so I thought I'd – '
'She's fine.' Shiho said curtly. 'You can go now.'
'Shiho – ' Yzak made a grab for her arm when she turned around. 'We have to – '
'No, we don't.' Shiho said firmly. Flinging his arm away, she charged down the hallway, throwing the untouched paper cup into the trash can on her way forcefully.
'Shiho, just hear me out!' Racking his hands through his hair violently, he rushed after her.
'I don't want to talk about it.' Shiho's voice echoed down the stairs. 'I don't want to know because you are the one who gets to make the decision.'
'Shiho – '
'I don't get to make any of the decisions so what's the point in me knowing anything at all?' Shiho cried, marching down the hallway of the recovery wing.
Gritting his teeth, Yzak grabbed her arm and forced her to turn around, oblivious of the heads that started to turn at their direction. 'Here me out Shiho, we have to talk about this! This is our problem and – '
'It's is not my problem.' Shiho seethed, pushing him away. 'This is your problem, you're the one who got someone else pregnant, Gazelle Wyleed pregnant. From day one I was just a puppet, a puppet of you, and my Father's convenience.'
'Are you saying you did all this out of pure reason?' Yzak asked quietly. 'Purely because of your Father's political situation?'
'Yes.' Shiho said sharply.
Yzak stared at her for a while. 'Liar.'
'Don't do this!' Shiho snapped. 'Just, just let me hate you! You've made a perfect opportunity for me to hate you, just let me hate you for Christ's sake! I knew that this marriage, if it's even a marriage at all, was going to end somewhere down the road. I was the world's biggest idiot to actually sleep with you, to actually let myself indulge in this façade of a marriage. It's not a marriage, it's just a political convenience, don't deny it! Don't start acting like you care because you don't!'
Taking a deep breath, Yzak pulled at his hair and leaned against the wall. 'You are right.'
Her fist balled tightly, Shiho turned away. 'Just, just let things take their course, just do what you have to do. This is what I got myself into and I'm fully aware of the consequences.'
Yzak was about to open his mouth again when the door to the ward opened.
'Hey.' Aviar smirked at Shiho. 'Your sister was wondering where you were. You must be Shiho's husband. Come in.'
Yzak shot a glance at Shiho. 'I don't think – '
'Come on, don't be such a girl.' Rolling his eyes, Aviar held the door open.
Sighing, Shiho turned to Yzak. 'Come on, you've never met my sister before anyway.'
'Fine.' Yzak muttered, following her into the ward.
Turning from the window, Geherin smiled at them. 'Hello, I've never seen you in person.'
'Yzak Jule.' Yzak hesitated a bit before taking Geherin's hand and shaking it gently.
'You two look good together.' Geherin said softly. 'I'm so sorry I couldn't come to your wedding.'
'I'm sure you gave us your blessings.' Yzak said.
'My sister's great isn't she?' Geherin whispered.
Yzak looked at her for a few moments before nodding. 'Yes, she's great.'
Letting out the breath she had been holding unconsciously, Shiho ran one hand through her bangs. 'I better go now, I have to return a call, I got a message this morning about my transfer.'
Yzak turned abruptly. 'Really? I never got any notification.'
Shiho cocked her head. 'Why would you get any notification? You're not my commander anymore, you weren't when we got married three months ago.'
Sighing, Yzak grabbed her arm. 'I'll take you home.'
'I drove!' Shiho protested as he dragged her out of the ward.
'I know.' Yzak seethed.
'I'll come tomorrow!' Shiho called over her shoulder before Yzak shut the door behind them.
'Well, they seem…' Aviar's voice trailed as he crossed his arms.
Geherin sighed. 'Aviar, can you do something for me?'
Aviar smiled down at her. 'Anything.'
'I want to write a letter, can you get me some stationary.' Geherin asked softly.
'Sure'. Aviar uncrossed his arms. 'Anything else?'
Geherin shook her head.
'Hang in there.' Aviar said softly, leaning over her bed. 'If everything goes well, you're going to be out of here. Just two five days, make it through these five days, and you're going to be good as new.'
Geherin smiled and nodded, closing her eyes. 'I'll try.'
Smiling, Aviar gave her hair a slight ruffle. 'I'll be back.'
Nodding, Geherin watched at Aviar left the room. Closing her eyes, she waited for the pain to pass in her chest. She tried to relax as she started feeling her energy drain.
She'd try, but never in her life has she been this sure that something was going to go seriously wrong in the near future.
It was raining outside, it was an artificial hurricane. The news said that there was some programming issues and they were trying to fix it, but until then, they'd have to stick with the rain.
Turning away from the window, Shiho opened the closet, wanting to find something to throw over her thin chimes. She paused and instead, stared at Yzak's old red ZAFT uniform. Taking it off the rack, she wrapped it around her shoulders. She had the same one, but it felt different, it had his scent.
Holding the collar close to her nose, Shiho turned and fell on the bed. It was the same scent she smelled in the past two months, when she'd bury her face into his neck of the night's passion and fall asleep. It would surround her, make her feel safe and at the same time very insecure. It was a very weird feeling.
She missed this scent terribly.
'Shiho, hear me out!'
Closing her eyes, Shiho bit her lip. Yzak had wanted to tell her something, he had wanted to talk to her about the situation. He was starting to care, really care. If it were in the past, he'd just breeze past everything without her knowing, without bothering to even notify her.
It started to scare her, Yzak caring. She only had herself to blame, she was in the one who insisted on having sex with him in the first place. She knew that even if Yzak started caring, their marriage would end somewhere down the road because it was an unhealthy one, they started out with serious deficiency. She had braced herself for this, but it still hurt bad.
'What is it?' She had asked Yzak that morning, sitting up with the sheets pulled to her chest. He had been staring at her, staring into her eyes.
'Don't look at me like that.' She had whispered, feeling her heart pound.
'She's pregnant.' Yzak had said quietly.
'Who?'
'Gazelle Wyleed.'
She didn't even ask if it was his, she didn't dare ask. She already knew the answer anyway, so why bother letting Yzak stab her again. The first strike was brutal enough.
After that short conversation, Yzak had left the room, leaving her behind. They didn't see each other for a week, didn't talk to each other, not even a phone call. It was like turning back time, but this time, it was even more unbearable because she had unconsciously put her heart into this unhealthy relationship and she had only herself to blame.
A little voice inside her head urged her to let Yzak finish what he wanted to say at the hospital, urged her to give herself a chance, urged her to let herself hope that Yzak would really turn around and actually look at her. It wasn't that she didn't want to listen to him, if she could, she'd go up to him and say 'pick me, choose me… love me.'
But she couldn't, she wasn't in the position to anymore. It was heartbreaking, she was the world's biggest idiot to let emotion creep through and secretly hope that Yzak would someday give her something in return.
Stupid.
Taking the wedding ring off her finger, she stared at the name inside it. 'Don't give me hope.' She whispered, her vision blurring. 'Just don't give me hope Yzak, don't give me hope and then take it away.'
She closed her eyes, letting the ring slide down her palm, feeling a single stream of tears slide down her face. Sometimes she'd wish that sleep would never end for her, that she could just close her eyes and live in her beautiful dream forever, where no one would be hurt, where she'd be happy.
All she wanted was some sort of happiness, was it just too much to ask for?
Maybe it was too much. Maybe… maybe…
'Mrs. Jule!' a knock made Shiho jump up in surprise. She stared at the door for a few moments before looking down at the ring. Swallowing, she slipped it back on and stood up.
'Yes?' Shiho opened the door and saw Niolava standing there with the telephone in hand.
'Your call.' Niolava said, handing the phone to her.
'The phone rang?' Shiho scratched her forehead.
'You must have fallen asleep.' Niolava smiled. 'You must have been really tired.'
'I was.' Shiho nodded. 'I was… thank you.'
'No problem.'
Closing the door behind her, Shiho leaned against it and held the phone up to her ear. 'Hahnenfuss speaking.'
'Major Hahnenfuss, this is ZAFT personnel, I'm calling to see if you – '
'I won't change my mind.' Shiho said quickly. 'I've made my decision.'
'Are you sure? I mean, this is a very big change and I'm sure Commander Jule will – '
'This has nothing to do with him.' Shiho interrupted. 'I will take care of my personal affairs before the transfer, everything can be done according to schedule.'
'Major, you might want to – '
'I've made my decision.' Shiho said quietly. 'I won't repeat myself again.'
'Very well, I'll see that it's taken care of as soon as possible.'
'Thank you.' Shiho said in relief.
'Have a good day.'
Disconnecting the phone, Shiho slid down to the floor and stared at it. Reaching out one hand, she touched her abodmen. It was best to keep it to herself, that way, he wouldn't have second thoughts, he would be able to make a firm and clear cut decision.
He had to make it.
'You're pathetic, you know that Hahnenfuss?' Shiho murmured, leaning her head against the door. Just pathetic.
She almost fell asleep again when the phone suddenly rang.
'It better not be personal again.' Shiho grunted as she answered the phone. 'Hello?'
'Shiho?'
Shiho frowned at the coarse voice. 'Hello? Who is this?'
'It's Aviar.'
Shiho felt her heart stop. 'Yes?'
'Geherin died ten minutes ago.'
'Well, I guess Lamar Wyleed really wants you to marry his daughter.' Tossing today's newspaper onto the shiny conference table, Ted Elthman sat down on the chair, tapping his fingers on the shiny surface.
'He said he'd do anything, I'm not surprised.' Yzak said quietly, leaning against the table with his arms crossed.
'How's Shiho taking it?' Ted asked, looking at both Yzak and Agrip. He sighed heavily when they said nothing. 'I told you this was a bad idea, right from the very beginning.'
'We didn't have a choice.' Agrip insisted. 'If we didn't do something, Lamar Wyleed will eat him alive, mark my words and Ezaria will find a way to kill the both of us.'
Ted shrugged. 'Well, we've sort of proven the fact that Lamar Wyleed still wants to find a way to eat him alive and there's still a chance Ezaria would find a way to kill us.'
'Excuse me, but am I still that vulnerable in the council?' Yzak asked. 'I mean, I can take whatever he throws at me.'
Agrip stared at him for a few seconds before opening his mouth. 'Even this? You got Gazelle Wyleed pregnant, Lamar Wyleed's daughter. This is his trump card and now that it's gone to the public, he's not going to give up until you side him.'
'Well, if he thinks that I'm going to marry his daughter because of this pregnancy then he's got another thing coming.' Yzak said quietly.
'So you're not going to divorce Shiho?' Ted asked carefully, shooting a glance at Agrip.
'We had a deal and Shiho's aware of it.' Agrip said quietly. 'She'd agree, if you want to.'
Yzak stared at Agrip for a while before standing straight. 'I've been thinking to myself these few days…' his voice trailed as he looked away. 'We're bastards, I'm a bastard.'
Agrip raised his eyebrows. 'Because I'm using my daughter and you're using your former subordinate?'
'Comrade.' Yzak said quietly. 'She was my comrade.'
Agrip sighed. 'I was bluffing when I said Shiho would listen to what I say. It's true that she listens to me a lot, but I never, ever expected her to agree to this marriage, I never expected her to.'
Yzak narrowed his eyes. 'What do you mean by that?'
Agrip looked at him in the eye. 'That's for you to interpret Yzak.'
Yzak could only look away in response. 'I was afraid you'd say that.' Exhaling loudly, he turned and headed for the door.
'Think about it Yzak.' Agrip called before he closed the door.
'Seriously?' Ted eyed Agrip.
Agrip stared at the door and sighed. 'I'm afraid they've already got an answer.' They stood there in silence until Agrip's cell phone rang.
Outside, Yzak fought the urge to throw his fist into the wall. Stomping into the elevator, he pressed the button with brutal force, watching as the elevator door close until a hand slipped in. Yzak frowned as Gazelle stepped into the lift.
'What are you doing here?' Yzak asked.
Gazelle stared at him. 'My Father.'
Yzak turned and gave her a smile. 'So, you found another way to make my life more complicated?'
'You put yourself into this situation Yzak Jule, don't blame me for it.' Gazelle said quietly.
Glaring at her, Yzak suddenly seized her arm and threw her against the wall, trapping her with both hands, ignoring her cry of pain. 'Don't you think I don't know what you and your pathetic Father are up to Gazelle Wyleed.'
Gazelle stared up at Yzak, trying to suck in the shock. 'You're hurting me, I'm pregnant with your – '
'Bullshit.' Yzak seethed. 'Fucking bullshit.' At that, Gazelle's voice caught in her mouth.
'No one can make me do something if I don't want to.' Yzak said in a dangerously low voice. 'I married Shiho Hahnenfuss because I saw a benefit in me, that's why I agreed and most important thing? Someone asked me. I may have seemed reluctant to do so but no one threatened me, unlike you and your Father. I can tell you right now that if I don't want a girl I fuck pregnant, I won't let her, and you are no exception Gazelle Wyleed.'
Gazelle stared up at him in shock. 'How dare you – '
'Think, before you say anything.' Yzak interrupted, taking a step back. 'Or your words will come back and bite you in the ass.'
The elevator chimed and the door opened with Alden standing there. 'Ah, Jule.'
'Tayne.' Yzak acknowledged briefly.
Alden narrowed his eyes. 'You might want a heads up, the reporters are flocking the entrance. You might want to take Miss Wyleed and leave from the side entrances.'
Shooting a glare at him, Yzak turned and eyed Gazelle. 'Have a nice day Miss Wyleed.'
Stepping out of the lift, Yzak charged down the foyer.
'Mr. Jule, you might want to – ' A security guard came up to him.
'My car is parked up front, I don't see the need.' Yzak interrupted. He squinted his eyes slightly when the flock of anticipating reporters swarmed up to him.
'Mr. Jule, do you have anything to say about today's headlines?' a reporter asked, sticking his recorder into Yzak's face.
'Does Mrs. Jule know about it? How does she feel about Gazelle Wyleed pregnant with your child? Did she know beforehand?'
'Did you continue an affair with Gazelle Wyleed after your marriage?'
'Please say a few words Mr. Jule.'
'Mr. Jule – '
Ignoring the reporters, he stormed across the parking lot in the pouring rain. Climbing into his car, he slammed the door shut and gunned the engine, almost running his car across the crowd of reporters as he steered out of the parking lot full speed. He wandered aimlessly, from small streets to highways to the suburbs. Not wanting anyone to disturb him and make him snap, he had turned off his cell phone and turned the music of his stereo wide up. It was almost midnight when he found himself parking his car back into the shed of the Jule Manor. Killing the engine, he sat there in silence.
What was he doing?
'What in the fuck are you doing?'
Turning, Yzak saw Azuiles standing there with his arms crossed. He stared at him for a while before climbing out of his car, slamming the door shut.
'What are you doing here Azuiles?' Yzak muttered, locking his car.
Azuiles looked at him briefly before shaking his head. 'You know, I think it's safe to say that you're more of a bastard than me now Yzak.'
Yzak glared at him, racking his already dried hair. 'And what is that supposed to mean Azuiles?'
'Geherin died today.' Azuiles said shortly. At that Yzak stared at him, stunned.
'She – '
'Yeah, she had a transplant yesterday, and died today.' Azuiles scowled.
Yzak took a deep breath. 'How's she doing?'
'Oh, she's doing great.' Azuiles sneered. 'After she got off the phone, she handed it to Niolava, told her her sister just died and locked herself in the bathroom.'
Yzak frowned. 'Azuiles, I'm not in the mood for sarcasm.'
Azuiles shrugged. 'So are you in the mood to be punched? Because I can do it now.'
'Azuiles – '
'Scratch it.' Azuiles said quietly. 'You're worse than me. I never thought you could be but you are.'
'You don't know anything Azuiles.' Yzak muttered.
'Maybe I don't,' Azuiles admitted, 'but I believe what I see, and what I see right now is my brother grinding a knife into a dying heart.' Reaching for his back pocket, he whipped out a folded piece of newspaper and threw it to Yzak. 'You don't always have a second chance, that's what I learnt from Shiho.'
Yzak could just stand there and watched Azuiles hop into his convertible. Before he reversed out of the shed, he opened his mouth. 'You can't compare the two.'
Azuiles looked at him in the eye. 'It's not the problem of whether you can or can't, it's the problem of whether want or don't want.'
The shed went deathly quiet again when Azuiles steered out of the shed. Opening the newspaper, he glanced at it briefly before tossing it into the trash can.
Climbing up the stairs two at a time, Yzak reached the master bedroom and hesitated before opening the door. Finding Shiho sitting at her dressing table, Yzak closed the door behind him and stared at her in the mirror.
'Where were you?' Shiho asked in a low voice after a few moments of silence.
The accusation was obvious in her voice and Yzak suddenly found it beyond irritating. 'Do I have to report my whereabouts to you? Just because you're my wife doesn't mean – '
'It was a simple question.' Shiho interrupted quietly, still staring at him in the mirror. 'Where were you Yzak?'
Yzak turned away abruptly at the nakedness of her stare. 'I –
'What did I do wrong?' Shiho whispered, narrowing her trembling eyes.
Yzak's eyebrows furrowed. 'What?'
Standing up, she turned and faced him. 'There's no pleasing anyone.'
Yzak gulped down the lump in his throat. 'She died?'
'She died.' Shiho repeated, nodding. 'My only sister died, she died today. They said it was a stroke, a clot on the sutures, traveled up to her brain and stopped circulation … all that medical talk.'
Yzak looked away abruptly. At that, Shiho laughed bitterly. 'She died alone… alone, like me.'
Yzak sighed loudly and racked one hand through his hair. 'Shiho, I – '
Holding back the tears that threatened to overflow since this morning, Shiho rushed forward and threw her arms around Yzak, crushing her lips onto his. He stood there frozen for a split second before letting his instincts react. He pulled away when Shiho started undoing his tie.
'Shiho – ' Yzak tried to make her stop.
Ignoring him, she ripped off his tie and pushed his long blue coat over his shoulders. 'Fuck me, I want you to fuck me now!' Grabbing his face, she crushed her lips onto his again before he could open his mouth.
She wanted to vent her frustration, she wanted an outlet. She needed it and in the past two months, sex was basically the only thing he could afford to offer. Why should he hesitate?
Because he wanted to talk.
Ignoring the little voice in his head, Yzak reached for the thin straps of her chemise and ripped it off her. He let her push off his white shirt and undo his trousers before lifting her up by the waist. Feeling his way to the bed, he pushed her into the sheets, ripping off her bra on the way.
For the first time, he felt bitterness, he was bitter of the fact that he was just an outlet, they were just having sex to relieve frustration. He had done this countless times, but why was it particularly disturbing now? Because he started to care?
Was this how she felt for the past two months?
Feeling sweat drip down onto his face, Yzak opened his eyes and found Shiho staring into him as their climax slowly subsided. Pulling herself away from him, she collapsed on top of him. He stared at the ceiling for a while, hesitating before lacing his right hand with her left hand, feeling for her wedding ring. They stayed there in silence, neither daring to speak, neither daring to move, knowing that this fragile moment would shatter any moment.
They stayed there, staring into the darkness, listening to the beating of the rain outside until it slowly subsided. The sun started to shine into the room when Shiho squeezed his hand.
'What did you say?' Yzak furrowed his eyebrows, wide awake the whole time but didn't trust himself to be, didn't trust his ears.
'I want to leave.' Shiho whispered, her face turned away from him.
Yzak felt his throat tighten. 'What?'
'I'm tired Yzak.' Shiho said quietly.
There was a long moment of intense silence as Yzak tightened his grip on Shiho's hand. 'What do you want?'
Shiho watched as the sun shone into the room. 'I want a divorce.'
Yzak still had his hand around hers tightly. Swallowing, Shiho forced herself to continue as she tried to hold back the tears. 'If this marriage is a game, then I'm the loser. The stakes are too high and I've already lost. Please.'
'What were the stakes?' Yzak asked quietly.
Closing her eyes, Shiho bit her lip. 'Please.'
At the second 'please', Yzak knew that it was over, Yzak knew that no matter how tight he held onto her hand, she'd leave. So he let go of her hand.
He let her go.
His mind was in a blur as Shiho climbed off the bed. The warmth was gone and he could only watch through the blinding sunlight as she changed, took off her wedding ring and left. He stayed in the bed, staring at the door Shiho had left through, staring into space until the sunlight disappeared and the moonlight shone through. Forcing himself out of the bed, he showered, dressed and took his car for a spin, ending up in a pub for the first time in two months, finding Dearka there and forcing him to do shots with him. He didn't know what happened later, all he knew was he got pissed drunk and found himself lying on the same bed god knows how many hours later.
That's when he found the divorce papers lying on the dressing table. It hit him then that it was real, they were going to divorce, just like that. There wasn't going to even be a handshake, a goodbye, the divorce came as fast as the marriage.
It would come, he saw it come, they both saw it come. It was the inevitable, but why was he hesitating? Why did a voice in his mind tell him to just rip the paper?
He signed it anyway, his reason told him to sign it, he had to.
'What's this?' Nioalava asked when Yzak gave her the brown envelop.
'Express.' Yzak said in a flat voice. 'I need it sent in by express.'
'What is this?' Niolava repeated, looking at Yzak with furrowed eyebrows.
'Divorce papers.' Yzak said curtly. 'Shiho and I are getting a divorce'
Niolava widened her eyes. 'A divorce? But – ' They both turned when the door bell rang.
Walking towards the huge mahogany double doors, Yzak answered it, finding Aviar standing there with a blue box in hand.
'Geherin told me to give you this if she didn't make it.' Aviar said quietly. Reaching into his pocket, he took out a white envelop and placed it on top of the box. 'She wants you to read it.'
Taking the box, Yzak didn't even bother to say thank you as he turned and went up the stairs two at a time. Stepping into his room, he slammed the door shut and dropped to the floor. Placing the box between his knees, he opened it and found two dolls sitting there. Reaching for the groom, he blinked, realizing that the two were sewn together. Taking them out, he pushed the box aside and set them down, staring at them.
It was Shiho and him, as a couple, as newlyweds.
Reaching for the letter that had his name written on it in elegant cursive writing, Yzak felt his hands tremble as he ripped it open and unfolded the cream colored piece of paper.
Yzak,
You might find it weird that I'm writing a letter to you. I would have said these words to you in person but if you're reading this letter, than it's most likely that I've left. I really wanted to say these words to you in person, but I figure God has other plans in store for me.
I don't know if anyone told you before, but we were briefly engaged when we were still kids. Your Mother broke it off before you had a chance to know yet little did she anticipate a need for political union between our family. When my Father told me he wanted Shiho to marry you instead of me, I tried to stop him, I tried to persuade him but he told me that if she didn't want to, she'd refuse. I reluctantly agreed but still tried to stop her from hearing about my Father's preposition. Deep down, I knew she'd refuse it if she really didn't want to, so I was really surprised when she agreed.
I was worried, please understand that she is my only baby sister, the only close family I have after our Mother died. I have been a burden to her, to my family since child birth and she had been with me all these years, she's truly my rock. When she visited me at the hospital, she'd smile, but I saw that her eyes were dead. After about a month, I was on the verge of asking her what happened but that was when she started to really smile again, she started to gain life again in her eyes.
Her eyes told me that there was hope, that you were giving her hope. Were you? Are you? I hope so. There's not a lot I can do for my sister, yet you can do so much. Seeing you at the hospital today, hearing you say 'Yes, she's great' really made my heart rejoice, it was genuine, I saw it in your eyes, I heard it in your voice.
She's' my only sister and she's weak and fragile inside. Now that she's pregnant, please take extra care of her as I will no longer be able to. I trust that you will, and I trust that one day, she will find happiness within this complicated marriage that started off so badly.
Please tell my sister that I love her, and please tell her that you will love her too.
Geherin Hahnenfuss
6th December, 72
End of Chapter 5
Next Update: 23rd June, 2006
A/N: Late update, killing of Geherin and making Yzak and Shiho divorce... boy do people want to kill me now. First of all, sorry for the late update, I was busy moving and assembling furniture and unpacking for the past week plus I didn't have internet connection the first few days of this month. Anyway, the good news is, the story is only half way through, so there's still plenty of room to hope for a happy ending...
Enjoy.
