DAR

I pull myself along the path, completely exhausted. Being up all night wrestling with personal demons is not fun, but for my own sake, I had to do it. Sparing a thought for Pina, I have no doubt that she didn't rest well last night - if she rested at all. I'm sure the human did however and I can't stop my lip from curling in derision at the mere idea. Once more, my thoughts turn to him and his impact on my life and plans.

How can one mere human constantly and repeatedly take everything from me? He's taken my place, my mate's time and attention - next thing you know, he'll take my job too and then where will I be? Out in the cold that's where. No mate, no friend, no job, maybe a dead Ranger…

Sighing as I let that thought roll away as quickly as it came, knowing that what would happen if I ever even considered following it through would be just as bad if not worse than sending or taking him somewhere else. I know it would be suicide, and let's face it I'm just not the suicidal type, thank you very much. I'd rather die fighting on the battlefield.

And while I know that him getting hurt isn't his fault, I can't help but blame him. As Zedd said, what the hell was he thinking when he took up powers again? Hell, we Eltarians have seen it time and again. You fight until you reach a certain age and then, if needed, you mentor and train, but you do not fight yourself. So why does he have to be the exception to the rule? Why must he always do things his own damn way? And that is exactly why he's in the mess you know. He was too damn hardheaded to turn down the chance to be in uniform again. I know, believe me I know because I in fact know more about his most recent stint as the Black Ranger than anyone else in the castle right now. He can't access his memories and I told the others what they needed to know, nothing more as always, but I do know. Besides it seems to be the only way I can stay useful around here. Seeming to come up with a good idea that works when all I'm really doing is operating on knowledge I already have that they don't.

Getting back to the problem at hand, I know the best way to get my place back is to get the human well and back home. The problem with that comes with separating him from his bond mate. Bond mates they may be, but I still would like them as far apart as possible. Zedd belongs here with us and the human belongs back on his planet.

Since I'm being honest with myself, I suppose it's only fair to acknowledge that he is in fact the biggest reason I try to never conduct any more business on that planet than I have to. Hell, we pay more for the Earth coffee that Zedd loves so much to have it shipped to us rather than go there to get it. I may no longer be evil, but I would still cheerfully blow that planet to hell. I hated it before Tommy became part of the battle and I hated it even more after. Of course, Rita brought him into it. If she'd just given the green Power Coin to me, things would have been different. I wouldn't have turned good and the planet would have been ours. All would have been right with the damn universe! Except, well one thing. I frown.

If things hadn't gone the way they did, we'd have never become 'good' and Pina wouldn't have become my mate. Sighing and knowing I would trade everything else for her, I let my anger fade just a bit.

That was the one thing I had that Zedd didn't. Pina loves me, she tells me every morning, she shows me every night. Or at least she used to. Now with the human here, I've lost her too. She spends all her time with him or helping him. Since he's been here, I've slept beside her once and I admit it, I miss her.

At least I know that he's not sleeping with her - in any way. Zedd made that much clear last night. Good thing for him, too, or I would kill him consequences be damned.

Shaking my head at my jumbled thoughts, I can't help but be irritated. Before he came here, my life - and thoughts - were ordered and logical. And now…now I can't even recall what to ship where, when to use certain ingredients in my cooking and when not to, how to handle Pina and Zedd, it's absurd not to mention disorderly and further more it's all because of him. I know Pina wants me to be more relaxed about it, but damn it, he's taking everything from me and he's not even trying! I cannot and will not baby him like the others. He's a man and he needs to suck it up and deal with it.

'And would you suck it up so easily if your power was stripped and body violated by filthy creatures?' Snarling and shaking that thought far away, reminding my damn conscience that he's a warrior and thus knows perfectly well the risk he takes with his life and body, I refuse to allow myself to feel bad for that damn creature! So what if he got hurt! It happens to all of us. So what if he was stripped of his powers! Look at Zedd, Pina, and myself, you think we enjoy this new mundane existence? And further more so what if he was ra-ped… Sighing and hanging my head for a moment, knowing I can't very well justify blaming that one on him, nor can I bring myself to fully block out the slight sympathy I have for him where it's concerned, I simply push it aside for the moment, my temper cooling as I do.

Moving once more it doesn't take me very long before I break the tree line and head toward the castle unsure now if I'm even half as angry as I am worried and - if I'm honest - slightly ashamed.

"Thomas stay away from the tree line, just check the grounds for now."

"But I heard something."

Pausing as I hear the two familiar voices in the garden, along with catching a flash of Tommy as he heads back around the castle at Zedd's command, I heave a sigh realizing that Pina must have sent them out looking, no doubt having gotten worried enough about me to inform them of my absence.

Knowing I don't have the patience to deal with either of them right now, I head in to the front of the castle, allowing the door to close silently behind me. Let them stay out there all day for all I care, maybe if they do they won't have enough energy to bother the hell out of me this afternoon, besides they're not the person I'm most concerned with right now.

Knowing I'm going to be in hot water with Pina, I'm of two minds about finding my mate. On one hand, I do want to find her and be with her. On the other, I'm afraid that she's going to be very angry with me - and maybe even tell me that we're done and then I know I wouldn't be able to control myself around the other two.

I decide to take a quick look around and check a few places she might be here in the castle. If I don't find her, then I'll go to bed and worry about things later. If I do - well, then I'll know what she's thinking. I check the kitchen, her lab, my room and her room before I head into the infirmary fairly certain this must be where she's at if not out searching for me herself.

Opening the door an apology already on my lips as I'm all too aware of how many potential weapons she has at her disposal in this particular room, I however barely make it inside before stopping dead in my tracks. Laying on the examination table, eyes closed, body stretched out, and long black hair framing her perfect face, I'm once more caught breathless by just how beautiful she is when she's asleep.

Quietly, I cross the room and just look at her for I don't know how long before I finally decide to wake her and take whatever's coming to me. "Pina."

Her eyes snap open and upon seeing me she is suddenly up and wrapped around me, her strength stealing what's left of my breath as she grips me in a painful but surprisingly needy manner I have never before seen in her. "Dar."

Uncertain what to do I wrap my arms back around her in response, taking in her warmth and weariness and feeling rather bad as I am all too aware that I'm the one that has caused the latter of the two. "It's okay, I'm back now."

Pulling back just enough to look at me, I have no doubts about how rough I appear when she says, "Are you okay?"

I shrug. "I'm not hurt."

Releasing me and raising her hand, I can't help but brace myself for the slap I'm expecting - after all, I was out all night without even checking in - however that does not seem to be what she's aiming for as her palm simply comes to rest just above my heart. "No. I mean, are you okay here?"

How do I answer that? Since we've been mates, I've always been honest with her, but I'm not really sure myself this time. "I don't know."

My heart breaks as I see her eyes fill with sadness. Finally, she speaks. "I didn't mean to hurt you, my heart. I lost sight of your importance to me when someone actually needed my help." Wait, what? She's upset with herself? No, no that was not the point of my time alone, hell she's actually the only person here that I don't want to upset.

"Pina don't-"

She shakes her head, stopping me. "No, let me finish. When Tommy arrived, he needed me in a way that you never have - and hopefully never will. He wasn't going to get better without me." Fine I suppose I can accept that.

"I know."

"However, since then, he's gotten much better and doesn't really need me anymore. This morning I told both Tommy and Zedd that he's going to have to learn to do more on his own and with the help of his bond mate - because I wasn't going to keep ignoring the needs of my own mate."

"Pina it's all right, it's what you have to -" Starting without really hearing all of her words fully, it's only when I register the last few that I stop myself and give her a surprised but very pleased look. "Wait, what?"

Smiling herself she repeats her previous statement. "You're where my concern and focus lies Dar, not Tommy. He has Zedd to look after him now."

Relief spreads through my body and once more take her back in my arms. "I'm sure that went over well."

I'm not a little startled when she grins at me and giggles just a bit. "Actually, Zedd said nothing at all about it and Tommy took my little tirade and condensed it into one sentence. He said, 'In other words, the world no longer revolves around me?' I think he'll be just fine without me hanging over his every move - especially since he has Zedd for that. Of course, I'll still have to take him into the woods for a little while each day. I don't dare let Zedd again after what happened the last time."

Oh, yes, the snake incident. I have to ask. "But it will not be all day every day, right?"

Thankfully, she shakes her head. "No. If the ninja spirit does start to awaken, then there might be once or twice that we might be out all day. But otherwise, no."

"So I have my mate back?"

"I was never gone. My path just veered away from yours for a short while. I would never have allowed anything to take me from you completely. I - I love you."

Oh. My. God. In all the time we've been together, she's never said those words to me in daylight or outside our bed. In the heat of the moment, yes. When I'm almost asleep, yes. When I'm just waking up, yes. But otherwise, no. Granted we are, neither of us, overly affectionate people outside of our rooms, but this is something else entirely. Resisting the urge to grin like an idiot, I answer in the same solemn manner. "And I love you, too."

I have no idea who moved first, but I revel in the feel of her lips under mine. And in that moment - something changed. I was aware of her in ways I never have been before. It takes a full minute before I realize that we must have bonded. It takes another minute before I realize, too, that all my insecurities, upset feelings, fears, and quite possibly the reasons behind them are open for her to see and feel. Out of habit, I start to pull back, both mentally and physically, when she stops me with a grip like steel.

Her eyes search mine for a moment before she finally lets me go. "I'm going to call them and let them know that they can stop searching and then you and I are going to bed. If you want to, we can talk after we get some much needed rest."

I nod and after one final kiss release her so that she can call them.

When she's finished, she takes my hand. "Come on. Let's get some sleep."

And I'm just fine with that.