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Chapter 32: Remember Me

Ginny woke up early Tuesday morning to an owl tapping at the window next to her bed. Grumbling, Ginny pulled the blankets closer around her neck. Maybe if she just ignored it, the owl would go away. If the sun wasn't even up yet, there was no way that Ginny was getting up, owl or not.

"Ginny," whined Gina from across the room. "Will you shut that bloody owl up? We're trying to sleep."

Moaning pitifully, Ginny sat up and slipped her feet out of bed and onto the cold, hard floor. She shivered as she opened the window and a blast of cold air burst into the room. In flew a snow-covered owl. As the owl landed on her bed and shook its feathers, Ginny saw a folded up piece of parchment tied onto the owl's leg with a dark green ribbon. She suddenly realized who the letter was from and she eagerly undid it from the owl's leg.

"I'm sorry," Ginny said softly, patting the owl's head. "I don't have anything for you." Ginny watched as the owl flew back out the window and was brushed aside by a strong gust of wind, and then the owl rose back up and flew off into the sky that was starting to turn dark blue as the sun slowly woke up.

After Ginny shut the window, she got back into bed, pulled the curtains around her, and sat cross-legged. Excitedly she opened the letter.

Dear Ginny,

Come to the Astrology tower tonight around midnight. Make sure you're not followed. There's something important we have to do.

Draco

Ginny frowned. The Astrology tower? They hadn't met up there since much earlier in the year when they'd first agreed to work together. And what did Draco mean by 'something important?'

Sighing as she folded the letter up, Ginny looked out the window. The weather had turned chill again and already the wind was fiercely spinning the snow through the air. She hoped the snow wouldn't continue on. They had a Quidditch game to play against Slytherin on Saturday and snow would not help visibility at all.

Ginny knew that she wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, and even if she did, she'd only have about an hour anyway. So instead, Ginny took a shower, got dressed, and went downstairs to work on some homework before breakfast.


That night, at ten till midnight, Ginny left the Gryffindor tower. Thankfully the common room was empty, and Ginny was especially happy that Hermione was nowhere to be found. The Head Girl would be even more disappointed and upset with Ginny if she saw her leave once again.

Ginny hadn't been able to concentrate at all during the day; her thoughts had kept running back to Draco. Though Ginny had never told Draco this, she now considered him a friend. Ginny thought back to the beginning of the year. During the train ride to school, when she and Harry had been in a compartment together and Draco along with Crabbe and Goyle had come in looking for trouble, Harry had punched Draco in the nose. And then, shortly after their arrival at school, she and Draco had ended up with a detention together in which they'd shot insults quite fiercely at each other. Ginny laughed. Things were so different now. Just a few days ago she'd helped Draco rescue his mother. Ginny knew now that Draco was never the person she'd thought he'd been. All those years when he'd verbally tortured her, Harry, Ron, Hermione, and everybody else…that had never been the real Draco. Sure, he probably wasn't the nicest guy in Hogwarts, but he was nothing like the Death Eater Ginny had once accused him of being.

Ginny laughed again as she thought of how she had once believed him to be a Death Eater like his father. She was ashamed now that she had partnered up with him in an attempt to make Harry like her, and she was even more ashamed of herself that she had believed Draco to be the one kidnapping the students when she had no proof other than her own prejudice against him. She had been so blind. All this time Draco was right there in front of her and she had wanted to blame him for the crimes at the school, all so that Harry Potter would finally see her as Ginny Weasley instead of Ron's little sister.

Draco wasn't at all like the person people thought him to be. He wasn't evil, he didn't worship Voldemort, and while he did hold a certain dislike for muggleborns, he didn't want to murder them for breathing the same air he did. Draco didn't want Lucius Malfoy as a father and didn't like the way his father acted. Though Draco looked like his father, inside he was completely different. Ginny had seen father and son together in Diagon Alley and while there, Draco acted every bit the bully his father wanted him to be. Ginny had always supposed, spurred on by Ron and Harry's hate of him, that Draco was just like his father. Now she knew that that wasn't true. She knew that Lucius tortured Draco when he didn't do what he was instructed, that Draco hated every minute he listened to his father, and that Lucius took away the most important thing in Draco's life, his mother.

Her own anger was called upon in Draco's defense. How Lucius could be so selfish, Ginny could never understand. Every child was supposed to grow up with caring, loving parents; she herself had two amazing parents that she would never trade for anything. While Draco would never have a good father figure, he would have had a wonderful mother if it hadn't been for Lucius's fear and temper. Draco would've turned out an even better person with his mother's guidance. He would've known how to stand up to Lucius and Draco wouldn't have been misguided all his life. He might have been able to escape who knew what kind of torture he'd gone through his entire life.

There was still something that Draco wasn't telling Ginny, something that had happened to him over Christmas. For a while, Ginny had thought that it was the discovery that his mother was under the Imperious, but she suspected that it was something worse, something Draco still wasn't ready to share. And maybe he'd never be ready, but that was okay with Ginny. She knew Draco now, and she knew that if he ever needed to talk about it, she'd be ready to listen.

Ginny's heart was racing in a way it hadn't since her crush on Harry as she opened the door to the Astrology tower. She saw him straight away. He was sitting at the desk and there were several candles lit. The snow had ceased to stop all day and all that was visible through the windows was a white mess. Draco had made sure that the room had plenty of light. Ginny could clearly see him though he seemed to not have noticed her yet.

Draco was staring into the fire, just as Ginny had once done in this very room months ago. Ginny remained in the doorway, watching him. She saw his right hand travel up to his throat and grab something, fingering it as he continued to stare into the flames that jumped about. Her breath caught in her throat as she realized that he was holding the ring she'd given him right before Christmas. A tiny smile came to her when she saw that he'd put it on a chain around his neck.

Ginny cleared her throat to get Draco's attention, and his head snapped to her in the doorway. He stood up quickly, almost as if he were unsure about what he should do, and Ginny came forward to stand before him. For the longest time Draco just looked at her. Ginny followed his eyes as they traveled up and down her body, all around her face, and finally coming to rest on her eyes. The girl saw sadness in Draco's eyes that she had never before seen, and her heart slipped a few notches. Ginny didn't like the finality she saw in his eyes, the resolution, and she suddenly was worried about what Draco called her up here for.

Smiling weakly, Ginny said, "I'm not going anywhere. Don't look as if you'll never see me again," she finished quietly, her brow creasing slightly.

Draco smiled sadly. "You may not be going anywhere, but in a way, I am."

"What are you talking about?" Ginny asked, her smile fading. "Where are you going?"

Draco didn't answer her. He just continued to look down into her eyes, the sad smile still tugging at his lips. Ginny's heart thumped as he took a step closer to her. Now she could clearly see in his grey eyes the turmoil she had missed earlier. His eyes were glistening with tears, and as he blinked, one escaped and traveled down his cheek. Ginny's hand automatically reached up and brushed it away. That one act brought to mind the memory of how Draco had done the same for her back in the tunnel.

Ginny smiled uncertainly at him and took her hand away. The tears disappeared from Draco's eyes and as he closed the distance between them, he took her face in both of his hands and said, "Whatever happens, I want you to remember this, to remember me this way." Draco's eyes searched Ginny's as she stared back at him wide-eyed. "I wish I could have this memory too, but I can't. And for right now, for just this moment, f-for…" Draco's voice broke, and Ginny's eyes watered at the pain she saw in his eyes and heard in his voice. "For the first and last time, Ginny Weasley, I just want…" he trailed off with a sigh, brushing his thumb lazily under her eye.

Slowly, Draco leaned down and closed his eyes as his and Ginny's lips met. At first Ginny was too stunned to respond, but as Draco's lips moved against hers, an explosion of unfamiliar yet pleasurable emotions seemed to take place deep within her chest, and she forgot everything except what was happening right at the moment.

Ginny had never before been kissed like this, and she was slightly unsure about what to do, but she just did what she thought felt right. As her eyes fluttered shut, her hands traveled up Draco's chest and settled just behind his neck as she kissed him in return. Draco's hands, leaving a hot, tingling trail in their wake, slid from Ginny's face down her shoulders to rest on her back, pulling her closer. Ginny could feel her knees quiver beneath her, and she wondered in awe why Draco's simple touches could affect her so much.

One of Draco's hands moved up to grasp the back of Ginny's neck and pull her even closer, so close that their bodies touched. Ginny gasped against Draco's mouth and her eyes shot open. In one short glance she took in the nearness of Draco's face and was startled by it; she could have counted his eyelashes if she had wanted to. When Draco's hold on her tightened, her eyes fell shut again and she numbly felt her knees weaken even more, if that was possible. In the back of her mind she realized that she had wanted this to happen for a while now, had even imagined how Draco's kisses might feel. They were every bit as wonderful as she had thought they would be.

Surreally, even as Draco's lips moved gently over her own, Ginny thought to herself, Does he kiss all girls like this? Or is he kissing me differently? And if so, why? She sighed quietly against him as his tongue touched her bottom lip, and that was when Draco slowly pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

Ginny didn't open her eyes right away; she wanted to savor the feel of his lips against hers. It was almost as if she were in a dream, so unexpected this night had turned out to be. When Ginny could feel Draco's breath on her face, though, she opened her eyes and looked up at him. He was gazing at her, the same sad look still in his eyes. Ginny pulled away slightly but Draco kept his arms around her.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this," Draco said. "I wish it could be different."

"Wh-what are you talking about?" Ginny asked as she found her voice. She was still trying to fully take in what had happened this night, and now Draco wasn't making any sense at all. What did he wish could be different? Did he regret kissing her already?

Draco sighed and let his arms drop away from Ginny. He turned and walked back to the desk, placing one hand on it. "My father came again," Draco said.

Ginny sucked in her breath. If Lucius Malfoy had come to the school, then he must certainly have found out about Narcissa. "Well," she began, "what did he do?"

"Asked questions," Draco said, turning back around to face Ginny, who hadn't yet moved. "Asked where my mother was. He knows I have her. At least that's what he thinks."

"But did he find out?" Ginny asked fearfully. Draco shook his head.

"No, but he practically threatened to use Veritaserum on me," Draco said, not breaking eye contact with Ginny. She took an uncertain step towards him, but stopped. "Don't worry," he said quietly. "He won't find out."

"But how can you be so sure?"

"Because I've figured out a way where it'll be impossible for him to find out anything from me, even if he does use Veritaserum," Draco said as he leaned back against the desk.

Ginny frowned. She remembered what Draco had said before kissing her. I wish I could have this memory too, but I can't. She suddenly realized what Draco was planning to do and she shook her head, her eyes widening.

"No," she said, "you can't do it." Even Ginny was surprised by the desperation she heard in her voice. More tears came to her eyes, and she shook her head again. "You can't…"

Draco came forward and pulled Ginny towards him, hugging her. "I have to, Ginny," he said over the top of her head. "If I don't, he'll find out about my mother and he'll find out about you. I can't let that happen."

"But you can't get rid of your memories!" shouted Ginny, detaching herself from Draco. "There has to be another way!"

"There isn't," Draco said sadly.

Ginny shook her head again. "There has to be."

"I've thought about this, Ginny," Draco said. "There's no other way. Right here, tonight, you're going to reconstruct my memory, getting rid of everything that happened between us this year. Then tomorrow, you're going to go to my mother and explain it to her."

"Why can't you go to her yourself?" Ginny asked, hating the tears for being in her eyes and betraying her feelings.

"I wanted to," Draco said, "but Lucius was just at the school. He's probably in Hogsmede right now searching for her. My going there would just alert him; it'd be as good as taking him there myself. It has to be you."

"Well I won't do it," Ginny said, shaking her head again. "Besides, I couldn't possibly erase your memory and rebuild it. I don't know how."

Draco was silent as he watched Ginny. She turned away from him, wiping at her eyes. Her breathing was shaky. How could she possibly erase his memory? How could he expect her to do that? For one, like she had said, she didn't have the power to do that. And even if she did, she wouldn't. Ginny had just found something in him she never thought she'd find, and something told her Draco knew it was there too. There was no way she'd just wipe away his memory so that he'd go back to the old Draco, the one who still hated Ginny. She'd be left with the knowledge that he was so much more, that he was really a good person. She'd have to see him every day and know that she could never talk to him again, never see his smile or hear his laugh, never go back into the tunnel with him again. She'd have to find Neville on her own, without Draco by her side to help her and keep her out of trouble.

She couldn't do it without him.

A sob escaped Ginny's mouth, which she covered with her hand. She didn't want Draco to see her break down and she tried not to let him hear her cry, but the shaking of her shoulders must've given it away, for the next thing Ginny knew, Draco was behind her, pulling her around to face him. At first she wouldn't look at him, but Draco grabbed her chin and forced her eyes to meet his.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't want it to be like this. I don't want to hurt you."

"Then how can you expect me to do this?" Ginny demanded, her voice rising a few notches. "How can you expect this to not hurt me?" Tears came to Draco's eyes as he heard the heat in her voice. She shook her head and pulled away. "I won't do it. And what's more, I don't know how to."

"But I do," said Draco, and Ginny's heart froze. "I looked it up in the library last night. I had to sneak into the Restricted Section, but I found out how." Draco walked back towards Ginny, but she shook her head and stepped backwards. Draco stopped. "Ginny, you have to do it. If you don't, my father will force me to take Veritaserum and then there's no stopping me from saying where my mother is, from telling him how I got her, and from telling him who helped me." Draco looked at her helplessly. "He'll find out about you, and I won't be able to stop him from hurting you. I can't let it happen."

"Yes you can," Ginny said, her voice quivering. "I'll be fine."

"No you won't," Draco said harshly, his voice betraying him. "You won't," he shook his head. "Look, I'm doing this for you, for my mother!"

"I don't need a hero!" Ginny shouted through her tears.

"I'm not trying to be one!" Draco shouted back, his own anger showing. "But I can't live knowing that the ones I care about are in danger. And no matter how hard I try, I can't save you from him."

"Yes you can," Ginny said. "You can stand up to him. You're better than him, Draco. You can beat him."

"Why should you have so much faith in me?" Draco asked. "I've never stood up to him before. Never." He looked away, his mouth working angrily to stop more tears from coming to his eyes. "I – I did something," he said. "Over Christmas. I did it because I couldn't stand up to him. And if I couldn't stop myself from doing that, then there's no way I can resist the Veritaserum."

"I know you can."

Draco shook his head. "No, this is the only way. I've made up my mind about this, Ginny. You can't change it."

"Well you can't force me to do it!" Ginny continued stubbornly, folding her arms across her chest. "You can't force me and I won't do it!"

Draco stepped forward, anger flashing through his eyes. His face softened when he saw her chin trembling, the tear stains on her cheeks, and the fresh tears gathering in her eyes. "Ginny, please," Draco said gently, taking her hands in his. "If…if you care about me at all, then please do this one thing for me."

Ginny looked away, trying to find some way out of this. A fresh sob escaped her, but she swallowed the ones that followed. Now was not the time for hysterics. She needed to keep a clear head and she needed to find some way to talk Draco out of this. Ginny swallowed. She didn't know what she'd do if Draco succeeded in erasing his memory. Something told her that if she didn't do it, he'd find someone else who was willing to. Ginny could tell that he didn't want to go to somebody else, because that would mean he'd have to confide in another what he and Ginny had done. He could possibly get his mother to do it, but Ginny didn't think Draco would want to put that responsibility on her shoulders.

Why should I have it on my shoulders either? Ginny thought angrily. She thought back to the first time she'd seen Draco, back when she had been shopping for school supplies for her first year at Hogwarts. Draco had called her Harry's girlfriend and at the time, Ginny had wished it were true. But now it was completely different. Ginny didn't want to be with Harry. She wished she had realized it earlier and had taken advantage of time, but Ginny knew now that she wanted to be with Draco. She at least wanted time to sort out her feelings and see what they truly meant; but here Draco was shoving this huge responsibility on her. It's not fair, Ginny thought, her eyes watering again. But since when has life been fair to me?

She turned and looked at Draco. He was watching her patiently yet his eyes were pleading with her to understand, to agree with him. Draco was trusting her, Ginny realized. She didn't know how many people he trusted, but given what she knew about his home life, she didn't think it was that many. Just the fact that Draco was trusting her enough to do this was astounding. She knew she couldn't disappoint him, no matter how much it pained her. Ginny's lip trembled, but deep down, her decision was already made.

Wishing her voice sounded surer than it did, Ginny asked, "What do I have to do?"

Draco looked back at her sadly and squeezed her hands before he let them go. "Thank you," he said, and the relief Ginny heard in his voice was enough to bring fresh tears to her eyes. He walked over to the desk he'd been sitting at and opened up a book. Ginny walked up to him.

"Just say this while you're pointing your want at me," Draco said. Ginny looked at the incantation that was circled on the page. "If you just say the regular Obliviate charm, it'll take away everything. The rest of the incantation is what is going to allow you to take away only certain memories. It's what the Ministry Obliviators use to modify the memories of muggles when they've seen too much. I think it's Latin or something…"

Ginny's mind hummed and buzzed, turning the instructions Draco was giving her into only faint whisperings in her head. She understood what she was to do. She understood that when she cast the charm on Draco, it would temporarily knock him out and his memories would separate before her like tiny moving pictures, and that she was to take out anything that had her, Narcissa, the tunnel, and certain other things in it. But in the end, all Ginny comprehended was that she was ruining Draco, that things would never be the same again…that she'd never be the same again.

"Understand?" Draco asked, looking at Ginny. She nodded slowly. "Okay then," sighed Draco. "Get ready."

Ginny's head shot up. "Now? Do we have to do it now?"

"Yes," Draco said resolutely. "It has to be tonight. Right now."

Feeling as if she were in a nightmare, hoping that she'd wake up any second, Ginny watched as Draco moved to stand about five feet in front of her.

"Remember me always, Ginny Weasley?" Draco asked, trying to smile.

Ginny made a sound that was half-sob, half-laugh, as she turned to face Draco. "I should be asking the same of you, Draco Malfoy," Ginny said sadly, "but I know that you won't. At least you won't remember me like this." Ginny didn't bother to brush away the tears that fell from her eyes. "You'll just remember the Ginny you used to hate. But I'll still know the real you." Her lip trembled again.

"I'll always hold you close, Ginny," Draco said. "In here." Draco placed his hand over his heart. "You'll always be in here."

"How do you know?" Ginny asked. She was crying freely now. She must look a mess, but she knew that in a few minutes, Draco wouldn't even remember it.

"I know," Draco smiled at her reassuringly. "Malfoy's know everything, remember?"

Though the tears started coming harder, Ginny laughed. "No they don't," she said. "If they did, you'd be able to find another way out of this."

Draco sighed. "Just remember me, Ginny," he continued. "No…no matter what I do to you in the future, remember me this way. Don't remember the Draco of six years ago. Remember this one."

Ginny nodded slowly. "I will," she said.

She raised her wand. "Goodbye, Draco," she said, her whole body shaking.

"I'm sorry, Ginny," Draco said, and Ginny could see the tears shining in his own eyes. "I'm so sorry."

With her wand pointed straight at Draco, Ginny opened her mouth and before her better judgment could stop her, she shouted the incantation Draco had shown her.

Ginny covered her mouth in distress and as the tears ran from her eyes, she watched as the charm hit Draco in the chest and he toppled to the floor.

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A/N: So…was the first (and possibly last) kiss worth a 32-chapter wait? I know all of you have been wanting that to happen for a long time now. But I just couldn't have it happen in the first two chapters. It wouldn't have made the story as real. And to be honest with all of you, I wasn't even going to have it happen now. This one wasn't planned. I had a totally different scenario and time for the first kiss, but as I was writing this chapter, this just seemed right. And most of the time, when is a first kiss planned anyway, right? Ginny certainly wasn't expecting this, and seeing as I wasn't either, I thought I'd put it in.

And I know that this chapter isn't nearly as long as my others, but I wanted this one to be just about Draco and Ginny. I have everything planned out for the next chapter, so hopefully it won't take me too long to write. This one sure turned out really fast. I wrote the entire thing yesterday.

And that's enough of my rambling. I hope you guys aren't too mad with me for the ending. See you in chapter 33! And remember to review. Go ahead. Yell at me. Curse me for Obliviating poor Draco. Congratulate me. Knock yourself out. And to my fellow Americans out there, Happy 4th of July, even though I'm a few days early.

Lauren