Reviews :
Burgie : Dude serrrriouusssllyyy I'm like dreading it, if I decide to. We'll see, but if I do, you guys will certainly be notified :) And yes! Gideon's finally getting attention, the ball is finally rolling. It's all downhill from here, in terms of family showing up for him. Thank you friend! I appreciate it!
Snake557 : Thank you! Yes, I upload every Monday Wednesday and Friday, the comic goes to my Twitter every Tuesday and Wednesday. I appreciate that! Yeah, Giddy goes through hell for a small amount of time - it dissipates, comes and goes, but unfortunately the worst is yet to come for this mini code-room vacation he's on.
Song Listened To :
Any Other Name by Thomas Newman
*Chapter 182*
"I'm not too thrilled the lot of you keep seeing me naked," Gideon's raspy voice crackled, his heavy skull sagged back into the round rim of the bathtub as he went entirely limp.
"... Well, me and who else?" Oliver worried with an apologetic smile, he grunted a chuckle as he came to a hefty sit next to the bathtub Gideon was submerged in, up to his throat.
"Dad, mom," Gideon murmured, he knew Kepa was also someone on this list, though he figured forgoing this information was for the best. He fluttered his eyes closed and was grateful to finally be weightless in water, Oliver guffawed and flagged his hand; he sat low enough on the ground, next to the big, pristine white tub, to where the only thing of Gideon he could see was his chest and up.
"Eh, just our parents and me. Us three guys have similar setups and I doubt mom cared, especially in your time of need," Oliver mumbled quietly as he began to aimlessly pick at his fingers, hovered comfortably in Gideon's presence. Oliver eased a weak grin and shrugged, "Tessa and Koko on the other hand? Then I'd understand."
"Dad cleaned my wounds, mom sat back with snacks," Gideon's voice croaked, he inhaled a deep breath and felt worlds better, outside of the fiasco that happened fifteen minutes ago. His first bath in likely ages, he fluttered his eyes closed, once again, and breathed a shivering sigh, "I was so mean to dad, yet... He still persisted."
"He's our dad," Oliver's voice was gentle, both men held eyes as Gideon lazily lulled his head to the side and rested, so to keep eye contact with Oliver. Oliver faltered on a notion of fatherhood, sealed his mouth, looked down in an instance of tender pondering and chose his words wisely. He finally gave Gideon eye contact once more, golden eye contact Gideon hadn't wavered from, Oliver sucked in a brave breath and knew the topic of children and fatherhood was sensitive, due to Gideon constantly feeling overshadowed, like he couldn't relate to anyone in his family. Oliver narrowed his gaze and cautiously lifted with warmth, "Gideon, do... Do you want children one day?"
Gideon long-blinked in patient wondering and really pondered Oliver's words, his intentions. He knew Oliver was asking this due to Gideon's previous worry about Ralph continuing to provide a safe place for Gideon even though a nasty attitude was what Gideon hurled Ralph's way. Gideon knew Oliver wanted to rattle information about how maybe that's just what dads do, due to Oliver fathering Theo, though as Gideon really marinated in Oliver's question, he knew this was Oliver's desperate attempt at bridging the gap. A desperate attempt to relate in a way that both men currently couldn't, though was rooted in inclusion and gifted information, a section of wisdom Oliver currently had over Gideon. Really digging into Oliver's question, Gideon breathed a long, patient sight through his nose and sank a bit into the tepid, still water he was fully submerged in. Shyly, he bobbed a gentle nod and dared to let a kind little smile sprawl his face, his eyes glossed across the warmly lit white bathroom in aimless thought as his mind fervently landed on Kepa, just the woman he'd want to explore that part of life with.
"Yeah, I do," Gideon lilted, fragile words that had Oliver holding his breath. Gideon shrugged and shook his head, "I'm in a hellish mental state right now, and obviously Kepa and I aren't on good terms, currently, but... Given I bounce back, given she forgives me and we try again... Yeah, I do."
"Let's say that reality pans out, let's say that really does take place and unfold, try and imagine yourself in dad's situation, here," Oliver kindly laid out for Gideon as both men collected eye contact, once more. Oliver narrowed his gaze in loving, whispery emphasis and fervently peered into Gideon's soul, "Your son endures hell, comes home an absolute wreck, isn't in his right mind and is slewing a nasty attitude at you, harsh words left and right, but is in need of physical care... You'd help him. Unconditionally. Wouldn't you."
Gideon held his breath and immediately felt agreeing come to the back of his throat, though he continued to marinate in Oliver's warm words, Gideon finally nodded through a sigh and looked down to his bigger hands under the still water in slow, methodical twiddling. Oliver smiled and and readjusted his sitting position, on the ground, to which Gideon's now teary eyes collected with Oliver's.
"Yeah, I would," Gideon concluded with warmth, his hoarse voice was deep and tired, he heaved a shaky sigh and gave Oliver a look of gratitude, "You leveled with me..."
Oliver furrowed his brow in a ping of cute confusion, though knew that Gideon was expressing humbled appreciation. Oliver bobbed a nod, shrugged and took in a huge breath of renewed relief, and although Oliver was grateful that Gideon was now feeling a lot better and could likely carry on with the rest of the day with greater ease than what happened this morning, he smiled into Gideon's eyes and was floored both men could now step back into brotherhood in such a way that navigation was at a vastly different setting, one that informed and included, one that didn't gate-keep or involve the feeling of inferiority. Oliver chuckled as Gideon finally eased a shy smile, it was one of the first times Oliver had seen Gideon smile with his teeth in a very long time.
"You didn't once mention Theo, yet you could've," Gideon grunted a quiet laugh, Oliver shrugged.
"I think had we had a healthy relationship, when you were growing up, I probably could flippantly make that topic about myself and my experiences as a father, but currently, I'm trying to switch gears in such a way that doesn't make you feel like I'm better than you, just because I have a child and you don't," Oliver murmured tenderly, "I'm... I'm positive that's how the lot of us have made you feel, huh."
"Yeah, you have... All the times I've tried to chime into conversation and my ideas were thwarted and disregarded because I didn't have children, or a swap-mate," Gideon sucked in a breath and lulled his eyes closed, "I've spent my entire childhood and impressionable months of early adulthood coming second, third, last place to other people's children. I get your children are your first priority, but... I wasn't made even a second priority. I wasn't even a second or third or fourth thought. I don't think you truly understand, or will understand, the depth of my emotional neglect."
Oliver felt the knee-jerk reaction to fervently agree with Gideon and make clear that this conversation could just stop here, due to Oliver now searching for ways to make things better and to truly turn over a new leaf, though he hovered and was well aware Gideon had a world of hurt on his chest. More hurt than could just be expressed in this one little time frame of soaking.
"But... The past even twenty four hours have been world's different, this is exactly what I needed," Gideon began to crumple, in which Oliver quickly followed suit. Gideon grimaced and lifted his hand out of the water with a slosh, he began to fervently rub his temple and eyebrow in a show of panicking self-soothe, "I-It only took me abandoning ship, destroying my chances with Kepa, murdering thirty-seven people and soaking my coding with poison, for everyone to finally get good."
Oliver continued to remain quiet, though he bobbed a remorseful nod and looked down to his hands as huge tears welled in his honey-brown eyes. Gideon silently sucked in a grimace of a cry and grunted an exhale to clear his throat as tears effortlessly streamed his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.
"I know none of us will make any of these mistakes again, and I see your efforts, I just... I need you to be patient with me," Gideon whimpered as he sagged his hands back into the water and grunted to sit up a little bit higher, clearly feeling better, though his neck and skull still held a steady bout of tremors, "Forgiving you guys was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I know I brought this event upon myself, you guys didn't force me to leave, but... Just know continuing to show acts of forgiveness, through the pain, is going to be really difficult for me, I'm just... Begging you of one thing."
"Anything, Giddy, it's yours," Oliver's voice crackled as more tears slipped down his cheeks.
"Do not give up on me," Gideon sighed in a pleading whisper, Oliver squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head.
"Never," Oliver returned quietly, he choked a small laugh and looked back down to his hands in plucked, cheeky excitement, "Kepa's going to backflip over the moon... She probably was the one that didn't give up the hardest. She lit the lighthouse lamp, she manifested your place of happiness every single day. She tore me a new one in your name."
"... Sh-she lit the lighthouse lamp?" Gideon questioned in a lilt of soft bewilderment, Oliver nodded.
"Her and Sezeke. She's gunna swear by that lighthouse for the rest of her life, I'm fairly positive she'll attribute the lighthouse to you coming home," Oliver grinned with a nod, though Gideon looked prickled.
"I-I mean, it did, and I'm not saying that to run with the wonder of it, I'm being serious," Gideon grunted a small laugh and brightened, "Game Over's fourth winner, Ora... She was picking up on all of Kepa's signals, Ora's super sensitive to that kind of thing. It took exterior swapping with Ora for her to finally beg me to go home, she told me all about how Kepa was doing everything to manifest me back to the lighthouse."
"...You're literally shitting me," Oliver huffed in stun, Gideon grinned with his teeth, once more, a grin that had Oliver's heart soaring.
"Yeah, that's... Ora's the reason I escaped, or... Tried to, anyways," Gideon murmured as his smile sagged, he began to look slowly wrought with guilt, "I-I... I stupidly promised I'd go back for them and help them escape as well."
"Ugh, Gideon," Oliver rubbed his face and rolled his eyes, "Whatever happens, let us know you're leaving, next time..."
"N-No, I'm... I'm not in that headspace, right now," Gideon groaned, "I want to get better. I miss Kepa so badly... D-Do you even think she'll want to see me?"
"UH, YEAH," Oliver stabbed with a hearty laugh that had Gideon looking relieved, though Oliver shrugged and put his hands up, "Can't say she won't hand you your ass and that there won't be boundaries or complications, but... Yeah. She'd want to see you. A million percent."
"I wish I could," Gideon murmured in a downswing of sorrow, to which Oliver furrowed his brow.
"I mean... You're the only one keeping yourself from it," Oliver prod softly, "Outside of what happened earlier, I'm shocked you're not clawing at the code room walls to get out and see her."
Gideon remained silent in thought for a moment before he took in a huge breath of contemplation and lulled his eyes closed. He shrugged, shook his head and revisited Oliver's gaze through tears that had been hovering this whole time.
"I don't deserve it... I don't deserve her... I-I don't want her to deal with this fresh-hell version of me, I've already given her enough heartache," Gideon whimpered, and though Oliver understood, he hovered in baited wait and patiently allowed Gideon to continue, "I-I know she'd probably disagree, but... After this code-cycling is done, I'll feel a lot better about it, I'll want to see her shortly after."
"That's fair," Oliver noted, he kindly peered to Gideon with a twinkle in his eye and shrugged, "You may have broken her heart and abandoned her, but... I know you can win her back. It won't be easy, but... Have some faith. In both of you."
"I'll be beating myself up for the next million years," Gideon croaked, though he sat up in a slow lurch, groaned a hard noise and eventually leaned so far forward that his face was submerged. He exhaled a hard, gurgling yell into the water, causing bubbles to largely erupt around his face, to which Oliver loudly exploded with hearty laughter. Gideon emerged from the water with a cute little smile, he messily wiped his face as his wet, auburn hair sloped down his forehead and eyebrows. He spit water out of his mouth and so cutely eased a shaky little giggle as he cleared his face of water, "Lest she beats me to it."
"She will," Oliver agreed with a grinning nod, "If she had enough energy to hand me my ass, then I'd say you're in for it."
"She's earned every second of it," Gideon whispered in a sigh and a slump as he peered to the tepid water he sat in, he finally looked up to smile into Oliver's eyes, and though Gideon still looked disheveled from earlier, he looked to be in greater spirits, something that had Oliver finally feeling like he could leave Gideon's presence without something bad happening.
"Well, bud, get dry, get dressed, I smell breakfast cooking," Oliver grunted to a stand, gestured to the towel and clean clothes Oliver had gotten for Gideon, and began to walk to the bathroom door, "Do you need my help or are you going to be okay?"
"I'll be okay," Gideon assured gently as he tossed his eyes to the pile of clean clothes and fresh towel left, he gave Oliver a weak smile of battle-worn gratitude and nodded, "Thanks, Ol..."
"Anything, anytime," Oliver confirmed with full warmth, and with a gentle clack, he left Gideon to his privacy.
Oliver breathed a long exhale of a sigh and emerged into the main splay of the sunny code room. He rubbed his face and knew this following week would likely be a mess of exhausting events and conversation, coupled with spats and healing in tow, he pressed to the sunny kitchen area Koko and Tessa ruminated in. Breakfast seemed to be nearly done, a hearty splay of pancakes, bacon and eggs, the works. Although Oliver felt his stomach grumble, he felt anxiousness begin to rise, he closed into their warm bubble of conversing and met eyes with them, they halted their soft conversing and peered up into Oliver's eyes in a swing of curiosity.
"Is he okay?" Tessa wondered quietly, both girls glanced back to the closed bathroom door, across the span of the code room.
"Yeah, much better... Who knows if this will be a temporary morning routine, but... Hopefully the worst of it is behind us," Oliver sighed a shaky breath and rubbed the back of his head, "I was meaning to tell you two... I had to tell Emery that Gideon came home, she was wondering where I was last night, obviously."
"Yeah, I... I told Nox, I'm almost positive Lash told Mara, too," Koko grit her teeth, and though both her and Oliver sagged their apprehensive gazes to Tessa, she looked too exhausted to get riled into the nitty gritty of the details, fervent promises to keep Gideon's arrival a secret. Koko glossed Tessa and Oliver a rush of reassurance Oliver also looked ready to give, "Nox promised to keep it a secret... It's unfortunate, though, because... Nox, Lash, Mara and I are with Kepa often. Kepa calls me almost daily. What do I do if she calls?"
"Put her on speaker," Tessa muttered dryly, to which Koko furrowed her brow in a swipe of halted confusion. Tessa shrugged and brightened a little, "No, I'm serious. Put her on speaker... Kepa's ultimately the root of Gideon's healing, in this mess. Sure, he wants to get to a point of betterment before diving in and seeing her and sorting their OWN issues, but... If he hears her voice, he's going to want to actively do everything in his power to get out of this code room and see her."
"You think he'll need the whole week?" Oliver wondered, all three beings kept this conversation above a whisper.
"If he keeps that tether connected, if we all actively work together, which will include Ace," Tessa sucked in a big breath and shook her head, "Then, no, he won't need the whole week. Again... Kepa calls? Engage. Gideon's been removed from her for so long, I can guarantee that if he hears her voice, he's going to suddenly want to rocket to the moon and do everything he can to reach betterment faster."
"I think this is going to be an extremely long journey for him, but, Tessa's right," Oliver sighed as all three tossed their eyes to the bathroom door across the way, which finally croaked open. Gideon weakly began to slowly cross the massive span, dressed in a cozy pair of sweats and an even cozier black hoodie, the light in his eyes glinted from clear across the space. All three sweetly watched as Gideon began to make his way to them, Oliver quietly concluded their private conversation with warm confidence, "Kepa's the fuel to said rocket to the moon. The tricky part now is just getting Gideon to pull into the damn gas station..."
