Reviews :
Awesome Stories May Occur : Of -course- I remember you, I remember everyone who has ever given my story the time and energy. Thank you so much for your kind words, truly. Writing about my trauma has definitely helped me see things a little clearer and figure out just who I am and what I want out of the relationships around me. None of it has been easy, especially in giving the world a peak inside what I've been through, but I feel it's all for the better. And, you're right, having my art go unnoticed is probably taking years off of my life, if I'm being honest. I also suffer a lack of emotional permanence. If someone isn't in my face every day telling me they appreciate me or enjoy what I'm putting out, my brain truly believes they've stopped loving me and no longer care about me. When I tell you my husband is a saint, my husband is a saint. I'm sure putting up with me is beyond exhausting. I'm working on this, but some days are worse than others. Thanks for reaching out, I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far.
Firesong-Writes : Thank you so much friend, and thank you for reaching out to me when you did, on Twitter. I might still do the sketchdump, but for now I'm coming out of a really dark season of my life so it might unfortunately have to wait. I've saved everyone's requests, hopefully I'll be in better spirits shortly. It's a -ton- of my own mental energy and output, I'd want everyone to be excited about it, usually everyone's super amped to request stuff but then once I post it, it's just crickets. It's depleting, I can usually bounce back quick but I'm probably the most fragile I've ever been and am running on fumes, so I'm just not sure I want to put myself out there right now. Maybe soon, but I appreciate everything you've said and done. You're a good friend and I don't deserve you.
chuckiboo : Thank you so much. Yes, Rancis gets a little bit of a spotlight towards the end of this story, and has a MUCH bigger role in future stories to come. I've considered even retelling the whole saga from his eyes, I'm not sure how I'd do that, but that's also something in the works for after the 6th story. We'll see!
Snake557 : You're the greatest. I can always count on you to cheer me on and make me smile. Thank you for everything, friend, truly. I only hope everyone enjoys my characters and tellings as much as I do. It sucks when people come and go, people I thought would be here with me until the end but end up fading away, it hurts but I'm trying to just allow myself to swallow that big pill and understand that that's life. People come and go and I have to just accept that. I have severe abandonment trauma, so that's always been my crux. I appreciate the love and support, friend. I hope you're doing well.
Song Listened To :
bury a friend by Billie Eilish
*Chapter 202*
As the sun set, as everyone eventually moved away from Cherry Ribbon's shoreline and about the lighthouse's back deck and patio, the evening turned into a lowkey house party that had Gideon's friends and family coming and going. With the smooth transition from sunny beach-going to nighttime rumors about the potential for a bonfire, the lighthouse's back patio was alive with fun music, quiet enough to converse over. Rancis and Taffyta left the light house with the sunset, though with their absence, Zed, Berri and Turbo had shown up. This notion nearly frustrated Gideon, somehow Rancis had some sort of a sixth sense that aided him in avoiding Zed's presence, as if the two were opposing magnets and finding them together in the same room was impossible. Said notion had Gideon further irritated, he stood in the gape of the big, opened airways of the french doors that lead into the lighthouse's bright, cozy common room and kitchen, staring in at Zed as him and Lash had a rather lively conversation. Gideon had his arms crossed, he peered to Zed in contemplation, he silently stewed and wondered when he should make his move, though he flinched in collected surprise as Kepa's gentle voice popped his bubble.
"If you stare hard enough, I'm almost positive you could burn a hole through Zed's forehead by sunrise," Kepa murmured in a great deal of girly sass, she perked her ears high as Gideon narrowed his gaze in further-stewing annoyance and dragged his fiery eye contact down into Kepa's. She beamed him a confident, cheeky grin and mocked his stance with crossed arms, "You know I'm kidding, c'mon. You doing okay? Needed a moment to yourself?"
"I-I guess so, I was just about to come inside and use your bathroom upstairs, but..." Gideon trailed off and rubbed the back of his head as his broad chest took in a deep breath, "I saw Zed, there, and... I'm trying to collect myself before I go talk to him, remember what I was telling you earlier about my Uncle Rancis?"
"I remember babe, I think you should just tell Zed how you feel," Kepa cooed gently, she peered to the kitchen island that Zed and Lash were lazily stood at with their frosty cans of beer, they erupted into happy laughter and looked entirely approachable. Kepa furrowed her brow in warm confusion and glanced to the singular half-bathroom just on the bend into the common room, "How come you were gunna use my bathroom? I-I mean, you're more than welcome, but what's wrong with the downstairs half-bath?"
"I was wanting to escape for a minute, just have a moment where I was inaccessible to everyone but you," Gideon cooed warmly, knowing they had made clear of the house rule that party-goers were to not wander upstairs, into Kepa's private domain, though Kepa's cute, secretive gift to Gideon was that he was the only one allowed in her sacred space, a privilege of granted access she was floored to see him comfortable with wanting to utilize.
"Th-that was the idea," Kepa pressed kindly, though her voice had a shake to it, something that Gideon cued to in the form of a subtle lifted of one eyebrow and a sweep of glossed eye contact down Kepa's body; still wearing her bikini, she was now wearing cozy black sweatpants and a strappy red tank top overtop it.
"Y'wanna come with me to torture the King?" Gideon mused darkly, he gave Kepa a sly, sinister little smirk, such a raw display of almost delightful danger that had Kepa's gut now twisting. Gideon sagged and allowed his aimless eye contact to look off in contemplation as he rubbed the side of his face, "Just kidding, I don't know if I have the balls for it."
Kepa inhaled a large, obvious breath, put her fists on her hips, swat her tail to the side and curled about her feet and gave Gideon a sharp look of obvious disagreeing; Gideon stiffened and shook his head in flustered annoyance.
"Don't look at me like that," Gideon grunted as his face turned beet red, Kepa sharply side-eyed Gideon and shook her head, she kept further notions shushed and only for Gideon's ears.
"I've seen your cash and prizes, I'd say you'll be just fine," Kepa muttered, as if to be annoyed, though she only allowed a wide, shy grin to fly the second Gideon looked off in rushed embarrassment and began to press into the common room and kitchen, where Zed and Lash stood.
"Yeah, you're not the only one," Gideon muttered in shy annoyance, though Kepa sharply furrowed her brow, grappled Gideon's lower arm, halted him in a scuffle of a small yank and was floored to catch his surprised, full eye contact.
"I'm sorry, what?" Kepa stabbed in almost jealous, heartbroken, flabbergasted horror, though Gideon fervently shook his head and squeezed his eyes shut.
"Just my parents and brother, i-it was earlier last week when I first came home, I was... Um... Bloody all over, both instances they were cleaning me up when I couldn't," Gideon grit his teeth and carefully delivered this information to Kepa, information she hadn't fully received yet, and though she knew Gideon went through code cycling and code therapy, she didn't know the full extent of all of this.
"Y-You were bloody all over?" Kepa worried, now jumping down a rabbit hole of worries Gideon wasn't focused on shushing right this second, though he lovingly gripped his bigger hands to Kepa's upper arms in a jostle of a squeeze.
"It sucked, but lookit," Gideon sharply whispered through his chuckling as Kepa peered hard into Gideon's eyes, his close presence, she sagged her ears in a downswing of emotion she had no clue how to control. He almost seductively carried on, a push of gentle words on her snout that had Kepa now beginning to wonder if Gideon was playing in to all the flustered bouts of shy behavior Kepa tossed his way, "I'm alive and right here... Not bloody all over."
"You will be if you push Zed's buttons too much," Kepa muttered into his face, Gideon wrinkled his nose and shook his head as he laid a warm smooch into Kepa's damp snout before unhanding her and carrying on.
"I'll take my chances," Gideon's raspy voice whispered in a grunt of standing to correction and pressing out to the kitchen island that Lash and Zed still stood at.
"Hey, bud," Zed stated in a swing of genuine, smiling warmth as Gideon's confident body language pressed up to the island, he stood adjacent to Zed and across from Lash. Lash lazily lifted his beer in a small show of 'cheers', to Gideon, as Zed kindly carried on, "Y'having fun? What's up?"
"Yeah, I am, but," Gideon cocked an eyebrow, looked across the gape of the common room and to the opened patio doors, his strong, fiery eye contact glossed over the top of Kepa's head before almost sternly laying into Zed's vivid blue gaze with a match of very adamant, rivaled authority, "I gotta bone to pick with you."
Lash and Kepa sharply raised their eyebrows, to which Kepa urgently flattened her ears in a show of terrified submission and gripped Gideon's upper arm.
"Gideon," Kepa hissed in mild disappointment, to which Gideon hurriedly furrowed his eyebrows and peered down to Kepa in a swing of genuine, boyish confusion.
"Damn, Gideon," Lash mumbled as he tucked his beer to his lips and took a hearty swig, though as Gideon firmly revisited Zed's gaze, he was almost shocked to see Zed bug his eyes, look down to the counter in aimless nervousness and grip the collar of his shirt. Lash erupted into laughter as Zed's eyes continued to hold wide in frozen terror, to which Gideon now hurriedly peered to Lash in full confusion. Lash choked a chuckle and tucked his beer to his lips, once more, though murmured his conclusion into the metal rim of his can, "Y'can't just go looking to pick fights with people, Gideon. No matter who you talk to, even the King himself, we'll all scatter like roaches... Do you even see yourself?"
"What? I have shit to say!" Gideon barked through laughter he tried to conceal as Zed clutched his muscular chest and fervently peered into Lash's eyes in a show of continued, playful terror.
"Let me reenact pre-Game Over Gideon, here'goes," Lash cleared his throat, set his beer down and suddenly hunched his shoulders a little. He nervously groped his feeble hand for Zed's lower arm and garnered Zed's now grinning, chuckling demeanor, "Um... Zed, I-I gotta talk to you... Bu-but... I just..."
"I was NOT that much of a pussy," Gideon stabbed, and though he was grinning, both Lash and Zed peered to Gideon a swing of surprise as he let words fly, unabated.
"Here's Gideon post-Game Over," Lash suddenly puffed his chest, made his own cy-bug markings suddenly glow with the press of his and Mara's coral-colored coding, he sharply furrowed his brow, gave Zed an angry mean-mug and pointed a firm finger into Zed's face, "Listen, y'fuckin' prick, I got shit to say so you're gunna sit down, shut up and LISTEN!"
"I-I'm not that mean!" Gideon loudly complained as Kepa blew a raspberry out and away from the island, swiftly followed by howling laughter. Gideon sagged his shoulders and desperately tried to soften, he peered to Zed in a swing of apology, "C'mon, I'm... I just feel strongly about something and I think you should know."
"I-It's okay, just... Game Over's fifth winner wanting to pick a bone with me, no biggie, just... The thirty-eighth kill," Zed meeped nervously, he still held his hand to his chest in a clutch of wariness as he glanced into Lash's brightened eyes, him and Kepa were lost in laughter. Zed gave Gideon a warm smile of bittersweet apology as well, "I don't think you even see yourself, my guy. This isn't the dark web... I'm happy to chat with you, even if the topic could cause an argument between us, bud, y'don't have to twist my arm for it."
"Yeah, I'm... Sorry," Gideon huffed shakily, he sagged his shoulders and was shocked to find that they had been stiff and tense this entire time. Kepa giggled, though sweetly rubbed Gideon's lower back, and as the two caught eyes, Kepa bobbed him a warm nod of assurance and silently promised him that it was clear that he was doing his best, "For the past two months, I've only ever conversed with other dealers or clients, other dark web guys... Switching gears, from that, is really weird."
"Well, being direct is no longer difficult for you, clearly," Lash mumbled cutely, though he subtly peered to Kepa and watched as she flattened her ears and looked off in a smolder of almost stewing, sexual frustration, something Lash sharply though silently cued to.
"Tell me what's on your heart, then," Zed cued warmly, though he tilted his head and gave Gideon a show of pleading eye contact, "But... Please speak to me like a brother and not some rando wanting the bullshit in your pockets."
Gideon sucked in a shaky deep breath, dragged his eyes to Lash and down to Kepa, though as she met with Gideon's swing of nervous eye contact, she perked her ears in a smiling, almost forced show of collectedness; Lash narrowed his gaze and took note that the second Gideon looked away and gave Zed his fervent eye contact, Kepa deflated and rubbed her forehead, as if she was becoming mildly exhausted, for whatever reason, Lash only had a very tepid inkling.
"I'm begging you to give Rancis his job back, his title," Gideon pressed softly, he gave Zed earnest eye contact, and though he had greatly eased off the gas, he still had a look of firm challenge in his golden eyes, "He says that people on palace grounds are giving him the silent treatment. Y'wanna know who here is well-versed in feeling alienated and knows firsthand just what happens when this kind of bullshit is just left to rot?"
The island fell silent, the only noise present was the excitable music outside and the louder sounds of Tessa's group's laughter and conversation. Zed sucked in a huge breath through his nose, held eyes with Gideon for a moment before bobbing a small nod of defeat and looking down to the island in confused contemplation. Gideon wanted to take this opportunity to continue on, he knew he needed to advocate for his uncle no matter the cost, though Zed tenderly beat him to it.
"Gideon, the reason he was temporarily taken out of the equation was because he was basically caught in the dilema of aiding Callum, he knew of Callum's plan to meet back up with you and overthrow Sugar Rush," Zed mumbled in regret as Gideon firmly peered into Zed's eyes. Although Gideon was only about an inch taller than Zed, the small amount of height Gideon's line of sight had over him had Zed swallowing a nervous, subtle gulp before he carried on, "Rancis never came out with it, but... Had you and Callum come back to take over, had you been successful in the code room, when you first returned..."
"...Wow, you REALLY left gaping holes in our conversations, Gideon," Kepa now almost sternly stated, to which Gideon softened in a sag and peered to her in a mild sting, she put her hand on her hip and shook her head, "Y-You... Tried to take over the game?"
"It's not a moment I'm technically proud of," Gideon begged in a swing of frustration, he stabbed his eyes back into Zed's and began to grow angry, a feat that was extremely easy to gain on, something that had Zed and Lash understanding that treading lightly here was a massive understatement, "What are you saying, anyways? Rancis's loyalty wavered from you?"
"Gideon, if you came back with Callum and took over, threw me and Tessa out, did what you wanted with the place, Rancis would allow Callum to be his crux. He didn't sway to Lash's or Turbo's reign, he wouldn't sway from mine, but... Put his own child between us?" Zed grit his teeth, Lash bobbed a nervous nod and looked down, this notion thwarted Gideon in a swing of brewing frustration. Just as Zed was about to make clear to Gideon that Gideon likely wouldn't understand, because he didn't have children, he bit his lip and searched for the right words. A notion he wanted to get across to Gideon without making him feel like he couldn't piece the feelings together, without making him feel inadequate, "Gideon, if your child spared you in the mess of a take over, would you remain loyal to me? Or would you feel yourself leaning towards the wishes of your child?"
Gideon sucked in a shaky inhale through his nose and looked down to his hands in a further swing of defeat. He wanted to continue fighting for Rancis, though now felt as if he had the whole picture; it was only here did he fully understand Zed's decisions, though before either Zed or Gideon could carry on, Lash gently chimed in.
"I can see both your guy's arguments, here, and... I'm sure Turbo's already told you his stance," Lash mumbled to Zed in warm regret, to which Zed ruffled his cerulean blue faux-hawk and looked off with a cheeky look of smiling disappointment.
"Yeah, Gid, you and Turbo are in the same camp, here," Zed mumbled in warm regret as he smiled into Gideon's eyes, a notion that had Gideon gently reeling in mild stun, "I hear you, and I hear Turbo... Even though you're not technically working for me, you're not technically one of Sugar Rush's Knights, you're still Sugar Rush's Prince. You're still my brother..."
"Aw," Kepa meeped gently as she tilted her head and watched as Gideon looked down to his hands in a show of genuine warmth.
"I was planning on giving Rancis a few days to settle in, but you seem to be on fire for this, leading me to believe that you, too, have had conversation with him," Zed muttered in mild, playful dismay as he eyed Lash, Turbo's proxy, "Turbo had been sneaking off to Rancis's home without telling me. Looks like I'm getting outnumbered from all angles."
"I'm not trying to strong-arm you, I just... Talked to him today, and even if you don't want to give him his job back right now, I just wanted it to be clear that he's not being treated fairly on palace grounds," Gideon mumbled in the taunt of becoming animated, once more, "I'm not about to sit back and watch someone be treated poorly. No one stuck up for me in my time of need, I'm not going to let something like that happen ever again, I don't care who it is... So, either you can spot me while I go over to the dining hall and hand the other racers their asses, or you can pretend we never had this conversation and try not to act surprised when all of those racers call you up crying and begging to move out."
"You just said you're not trying to strong-arm," Lash erupted into laughter, Gideon rolled his eyes and looked up with the slump of his arms and shoulders.
"Gideon, I'm perfectly capable of wrangling in those guys and setting them straight, I had no clue this was happening," Zed mumbled with a mildly annoyed smirk in Gideon's direction, "It's been less than a day... I guess I should've seen something like this coming."
"Zed, you may be the palace's guard dog, you may be the master and setting bad behavior straight, but..." Lash cocked an eyebrow and peered to Gideon in a twinkling show of almost devious excitement, "I'm wondering if you take Gideon's advice and... Sit back and spot the conversation while Gideon goes down there and reads them the riot act."
"Do we even have proof that any of this is happening?" Kepa mumbled, the voice of reason, Zed sagged and rubbed his face as Gideon mildly deflated.
"Just uncle Rancis's word," Gideon huffed, he shook his head and shrugged, "Why don't we watch from a distance, send Rancis into the dining hall and see how he's treated."
"Yeah, then have Gideon come in like... Y'know how fucking scared those racers would be?" Lash staggered, Zed bugged his eyes.
"They're already scared, as is, y'know how hard it was to tell them that Gideon is here in secret?" Zed worried, Gideon nearly grinned at the idea that his elder peers now viewed him as a threat, as opposed to the doughy, quirky little art nerd they previously knew him as.
"The only time I let someone override my authority was when Callum slashed you, your boyfriend, here, went to war for you," Zed lazily mumbled as he gestured his hand in Lash's direction; Gideon brightened.
"Oh yeah! I forgot about that," Gideon bypassed the little title Zed had given Lash.
"Boyfriend," Kepa snipped with a giggle, her and Gideon caught eyes in a swing of knowing, to which Gideon finally peered to Zed in solidified urgency.
"Let's make a deal then," Gideon mused, he leaned the front of his hips into the island and crossed his bigger, tattooed arms, "I'll do the dirty work of sheep-wrangling for you if you at least have the conversation with Rancis. You don't have to give him his job back tonight, but at least make clear that he's wanted here. No one did that for me, except Kepa and Lash."
"Mara," Lash tenderly added, Zed sighed and looked down in a swing of apologetic acceptance.
"Alright, Gid, alright... I'll come spot you, if it gets too out of hand though, I will step in," Zed cautioned, almost in a threat, as if he knew Gideon had the ability to now scare said crew pantsless.
"Deal," Gideon stabbed as he held out his bigger right hand for a handshake, to which Zed gently grasped for said shake.
"Can I come?" Kepa whispered, Lash bobbed an eager nod, to which Zed and Gideon unhanded each other, though Zed largely rolled his eyes and rubbed his face in exhaustion.
"Yes, you guys can come though only if you're not obvious with your eavesdropping," Zed mumbled tiredly, "I'm the only one allowed to act as if I'm visible. Whatever you do, Gideon, please don't threaten anyone's lives. This can be solved with civility."
"My guy, you're... Literally talking to a full-on criminal," Lash muttered, Zed furrowed his brow, shook his head and smiled into Gideon's eyes.
"No, he's my brother. We've all made huge mistakes, this includes Rancis," Zed warmly delivered, "Gideon's right... I'm sensitive to Rancis's doings, he's... Been sneaky and wily before, it's only fair I have my guard up."
"I hear you," Gideon mumbled, he cocked an eyebrow and gave Zed a stern look of smiling authority he knew he secretly held over Zed, he felt somehow invigorated by it, he quietly carried on, "Let me take care of it. I'll set everyone straight, including uncle Rancis, if that's what needs to happen."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it," Zed concluded with a nod, though Lash and Kepa brightened in eagerness as Zed slumped his shoulders and shook his head, "Welp... Let's go, guys."
"Yes," Kepa hissed as she pumped her fist, her and Lash cutely exchanged grins of full excitement as Gideon stood to correction and grappled for his phone, in his sweat's pockets.
"I'll call Uncle Rancis, should we just head to the dining hall separately, then?" Gideon wondered, he gestured to Kepa and shrugged, "Maybe Kepa and Lash can come with me and I'll send uncle Rancis into the dining hall to see what happens?"
"Don't forget Novus," Kepa murmured, Gideon nodded and looked off.
"Oh, that's right," Gideon huffed.
"Yeah, that sounds good," Zed nodded, although happy to have Gideon on his side, he was eager to somehow wrangle Gideon in and tame the aggressive, destructive nature of his fully-bloomed personality. It was one of which afforded Gideon a hardened, lavish lifestyle, one that didn't mix well with Sugar Rush's normalcy, though somehow, Zed was eager to see just how these cold-shouldered racers were to handle this socially dangerous situation he was about to be thrusted into in the form of anxious spotting.
