Song Listened To :
I Get to Love You by Ruelle
*Chapter 206*
"You did it," Came a soft, friendly, familiar voice.
"Did what?" Gideon wrinkled his nose, he scrunched his face in delighted awakening and felt his consciousness seep into a dream realm, an easy flow of warmth in all aspects. He peeled open his tired eyes and found himself on his own lucid plane, a place he only visited once with Ora, but outside of that one instance, it had been months since he had been able to get back in true touch with his imagination. Upon his blurry vision becoming clear, Gideon sagged his bare shoulders and peered his tender gaze into none other than Finch's loving, friendly-fox little face. Gideon felt a world of childhood memories come flooding him, a world of camaraderie he had with Finch suddenly sapped his code stream, while he slept. He narrowed his teary gaze and whispered, "Finch..."
"Y'made it, you returned to the lighthouse," Finch stated in a sweep of warmth, though as Gideon's senses and eyesight broadened, he noticed the two were sitting in a hazy dream space, one that had glowing golden fog on the horizon, as if to be eclipsed by the setting sun. Finch gestured his head in a tilt in the direction of what was behind Gideon, and as Gideon turned around to see just what Finch was proverbially referring to, he felt his heart melt with the sight of his and Kepa's gorgeous, proud lighthouse, easily casting it's golden beams in slow spins. Gideon sagged his shoulders and smiled in concluded warmth as Finch carried on, "Game Over got pretty hairy there, for a second... Felt nice to come out to play, on that second-to-last opponent."
"... User, that feels like a million years ago," Gideon's hoarse voice whispered, him and Finch sat on what was cooler beach sand with no ocean in sight, the lighthouse was in the distance though one could easily walk to it in less than ten minutes, "As much as I really enjoyed jumping out and being rebellious and... Miraculously making it out of this huge mess with my life, I'm really happy to be home. My problems here were far smaller than I realized."
"Hindsight's a bitch," Finch grumbled, Gideon flinched at his words and erupted into happy laughter as Finch's beautiful, furry face broadened into a grin as well. Due to Finch being an extension of Gideon's imagination, he easily evolved with Gideon's character. Once a doughy, adorable little fox was now a bit of a bigger beast with messy, blackened fur, though the gold glint in his eyes held Gideon's innocence safe and sound, windows to the soul. Finch gestured to the lighthouse and ushered Gideon a feeling of conclusion as he waggled his paw, "Go'head, go step inside the lighthouse. Surely Kepa is there."
"Both in dream land and in person," Gideon chimed dorkily as he grunted to a stand, sweetly gave Finch a parting notion and willed his intense glitching powers.
With a few bounces across the stretch of sand and up to the lighthouse's front door, Gideon didn't think twice about grappling the familiar handle and welcoming himself inside. Upon doing so, he flinched in a solid sting of nervousness as the inside of the lighthouse was now suddenly in the exact same shape it was on that fateful Valentine's Night. Kepa stood on those dreaded two tiles near the kitchen island, the atmosphere out the french doors was blackened night, and as the front door sealed Gideon into this painfully relived nightmare, Gideon held his breath in a swing of vulnerable, gullible horror and firmly peered into Kepa's eyes. She was skinny and sickly looking, her eyes were swollen with never-ending tears. She quietly cried as she held her desperate gaze into Gideon's, and as the gears finally started turning, Gideon hurried to scuffle over to her and painfully do what he could to overwrite this harrowing memory.
"Kepa, I love you," Gideon urged gently with a nervous smile, though as he peered down into Kepa's teary eyes, he realized his ability to lucid dream had now escaped him, and this was all just a normal dream playing out without any shred of his own free will. Gideon grit his teeth and was terrified to hear that Kepa wasn't replying to him. He shook his head and felt the words continue to spill out of him, "Kepa, I love you, please... C'mon, say it back, please."
Kepa stood still and peered up into Gideon's eyes in a dramatic grimace of full apology, as if to convey to him that she didn't agree or feel the same way, molt or no molt. Gideon felt panic flood his bloodstream, and with the now downward spiral of terror, his dream very swiftly began to pick up on his spike of anxiety and happily run away with it. Just as Gideon's vision began to pool with lava that brimmed from the baseboards all about him, and the common room began to slowly melt into a hellscape of overwhelming warbles of heat, Gideon shut his eyes tight and was strangely successful in yanking himself out of his dream with a jolt.
Gideon huffed a soft stagger of a cry out to his own bedroom, messily sat up and urgently peered about. His and Beaux's spire was outfitted with two massive bedrooms that were down a flight of stairs and secured inside palace walls. Although his bedroom had a big bay window that looked out into palace grounds, it was all sealed away for the night due to a scroll-down black-out slider that acted as a make-shift wall and didn't allow for even a pixel of light to seep through. His high ceilings were gorgeously crafted with a modest crown-molding, and inside said bevel of crown molding was a singular strip of light that hugged the ceiling. Although it was on, it was very dim, a cozy warmth that made sleeping dreamy and comforting.
Gideon heaved a long, shaky breath, sagged his sweaty face into his trembling hands and felt tears immediately sting his eyes. He grimaced a small cry out into his room, the only noise was the hum of a nearby ground fan. He sucked in a trembling, teary hiccup of a breath and urgently leaned across his big King-sized bed so to grapple his phone on his nightstand. He staggered a soft cry and noticed it was about three in the morning, and though he had just recently gotten done telling Kepa that phone calls and such were off limits any time past midnight, he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head in allowing this one time to slide. Although his tremors now set in, and tabbing about the options on his phone was difficult, he managed to successfully cue a phone call with Kepa and shyly tucked his phone to his ear. He squeezed his eyes shut and silently whispered notions about how he was desperate for her to pick up, and upon hearing the feedback of Kepa answering the phone, Gideon rubbed his forehead and felt himself immediately want to come unglued.
"Gideon?" Kepa weakly murmured, it was obvious Gideon had woken her up, though she grunted and could be heard fumbling to yank her sheets and covers off of her body. She messily carried on and croaked out fervent words as she swiftly rode her own little adrenaline rush of confused panicking, "Gideon, are you okay? How come you're calling me, are you home?"
"Y-Yeah, I'm home, I just..." Gideon staggered weakly, his groggy voice crackled amidst his tears, something Kepa sharply cued to, "I-I'm really sorry, I didn't really think before I called you, I just... I'm fine, I just had an awful nightmare about you."
"Aw, babe," Kepa mused sorrowfully as she sounded as if she was now due to relaxing so to prepare to comfort Gideon over the phone.
"Please come over, please... I really need you, right now," Gideon cried quietly, a show of tender vulnerability he was adamant about only gifting Kepa, no matter what. Gideon squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head as he messily carried on, "I-I know we set a boundary and I know... This flies in the face of all that, but I really just... Need you."
"I'm on my way," Kepa assured, her powerful feet could be heard thumping down the lighthouse's stairwell, and as she grunted to put on a hoodie that she thrusted to the kitchen island, she fervently pressed to the front door of the lighthouse and rushed Gideon a temporary conclusion, "I'm coming over right now, okay? Can you meet me at your front door?"
"Yeah, I'll let you in," Gideon whimpered sadly.
As the two hung up the call, Gideon quietly opened his bedroom door, navigated the dim hallway and wide stairwell that hooked about and lead up into his and Beaux's lovely kitchen area, which eventually spilled into the living room and the corridor that lead to their front foyer. Although fumbling and groggy, Gideon made his way to his and Beaux's front door, unlatched the few dead bolts and softly peaked open the front door in time to see Kepa's figure scuff to a gentle land, a dozen feet off, and scurry in sleepy yet animated readiness. She peered up into Gideon's eyes in a spike of adamancy, she looked absolutely exhausted, though the way her wide eyes held tight up into his proved to him that she truly meant to give Gideon the world. She meant her words, she promised to be his number one if he did the same for her, and with such a relieving hit of emotions, Gideon did everything he could to wait until he crumpled, to wait until he was secured in his bedroom with her before showing his own true colors. A sight only secured for her, even though no one was around at this hour.
"Hey baby, it's okay," Kepa sweetly cooed as she approached Gideon in the gape of his opened front door; he wore nothing but his black boxer briefs, in which Kepa was dressed in a baggy, faded pink t-shirt and cotton shorts that said baggy shirt drowned entirely. Gideon bobbed a nod in nervous agreement to her words, and as he let her into his and Beaux's dim home of a spire, Kepa sweetly hung close in the act of holding his hands, rubbing his arms, securing her tail about his big ankle; she did everything to give him grounding mechanism, and as Kepa pressed on through the seal into her brand new sleep spot, even if it was just for the night, she felt her heart ache at the sight of Gideon's sorrowful, teary eyes, the way his lip quivered amidst the mild tremors he couldn't get ahold of. Kepa rubbed the center of his bare chest and stood close, "It's okay... I'm here. Let's go back to bed, okay? I'm right here for you."
Gideon bobbed a nod and felt relief course his trembling coding, he lulled his wet eyes closed and allowed tears to slip down his cheeks with ease. Kepa flattened her ears, tsked him a sorrowful little noise and stood to her full height in the act of snugging right up into his chest and face. She cutely huffed him a purring little trill as she gently began to nuzzle his cheek and jaw. This was enough to get a cute little smirk of innocence to sprawl his face, and as the two warmly snugged into a big embrace, Gideon breathed a trembling, grateful little sigh onto her shoulder and gave her huge squeeze before silently setting out to return to his dim bedroom with his one and only. The two moved like shadows in the night, silent as could be, and as this was Kepa's very first time seeing Gideon's brand new bedroom, she gripped Gideon's hand in secret excitement as he lead her into his private domain. With a clack of his bedroom door, now secured behind sound-proof walls and grid space, Gideon stood still with her, in the sprawl of the area before his bedroom door. Now that Kepa was here with him, now that his reach for comfort was so swiftly rewarded, he furrowed his brow and wondered if he could potentially request to be babied. As badly as he wanted to remain strong for Kepa no matter what, the forlorn look of despair in his fragile gaze had Kepa almost eagerly anticipating every single little thing on his heart, in this instance. Gideon sucked in a trembling breath and was almost certain he was in a dream with the way Kepa looked at him, such a show of certainty and warmth, a long-blink of steadied confidence, she finally gave him a loving smile of full understanding.
"Lovey, what happened," Kepa cooed with warmth Gideon was eternally craving, every single ounce of this raw moment was all he ever wanted.
A loving embrace, a mess of blankets and sheets, black-out curtains to shush the impending sunrise away, he grit his teeth and shook as Kepa sagged her hand into his and began to sweetly pull him over to his own bed. Alongside her hand gripping his, her long, lovely tail hooked tight about Gideon's leg in such a way that didn't hinder his ability to walk. She guided him to his bed, all aglow underneath the dim, warm nightlight that hugged his ceiling and made seeing in such lowlight easy. As the two slowly crawled onto his big, dark-framed bed all billowed with the coziest downs and blankets, Kepa hurried to curl into a spot in Gideon's bed and sweetly anticipated his figure to join her, though instead of laying down, she sat cross-legged and was happy to see him grunt to a hefty sag of mimicking her posture and facing her, so the two could temporarily converse. Gideon choked a shy little cry and looked to be concealing himself, the rush of his tepid nightmare came back to him in hits of such an awful memory made, the last image of Kepa's beautiful face before he dove away and nearly ruined their chance at a lifetime of true love. Gideon began to crumple as he shoved his face into his hand and sharply grimaced.
"Shh, it's okay," Kepa sweetly whispered as she firmly rubbed her palm up and down Gideon's upper arm. She shook her head and felt tears sting her eyes at the raw sight Gideon was gifting to her. Although she had seen him cry before, he had been fully vulnerable to her prior, it was all before his grand adventures into the dark web. This true depth of vulnerability he now harbored, one of being entirely tossed around, chewed up and spit out, to then be expected to keep an intact, hardened composure. Kepa could tell that he was battling with himself, battling whether or not he could fully erupt into tears like he wanted, and though Kepa definitely didn't want Gideon to be sad, she sucked in a trembling breath and knew he needed to sort through this, with her right in his vicinity so to catch him when he fell. Kepa leaned a little tighter into his bubble and warmly whispered him the sweetest notion, her hands firmly rubbed up and down his arms, "I'm giving you permission to come undone, my love... You're home, with me. You're home."
"I love you," Gideon's face sloped into a full scrunch of a sharp grimace as he sucked in a trembling breath.
"I love you, too," Kepa adamantly assured with a nod, she kept herself tight into Gideon's bubble, her hands kept tight to his skin, she did everything she could to remind him that she was here with him, no matter the circumstances.
"M-My nightmare was... The night I left, the night I confessed," Gideon weakly whimpered as tears flowed out of him, unending. He choked the saddest cry into Kepa's bubble and firmly rubbed his forehead with his trembling fingers. He tried his hardest to suck in a breath through his nose, though he was now entirely stuffed up. His deep, quaking voice tiredly and nasally carried on, "I had to relive that hell... The look on your face, you just... Didn't respond... And then the room started to fill with lava."
"It's not our reality any longer, that memory has been overwritten with a new one," Kepa assured with a nod, her tired though strong eye contact remained tightly glued to his, and though her eyes equally billowed with tears, she held herself composed for his sake, "It's going to be forever one of our hardships, but, it's something we conquered together. We did this TOGETHER... Look how far we've come, baby, it was just a bad dream, okay?"
"I just can't believe any of this is real," Gideon whimpered as he continued to wildly tremble. He sucked in a huge, quaking breath and began to look as if he was due to panicking, "It felt so real, the frozen look on your face... I-I know your plight, but... User, it kills me."
"I know, you have every right to feel that way," Kepa staggered sadly; she knew this was partially her fault, the huge conversation they had a few nights ago, about this, and though she began to feel the sting of this all, as if her mistakes were now due to following her around, she sagged her eyes shut and realized Gideon had it far worse, in many different aspects beyond her. Kepa reopened her teary eyes and collected with Gideon's look of pure despair, it immediately broke her heart. She shook her head, gripped his hands and began to do what she could to pull Gideon down to the bed with her, so the two could lay down, "C'mon... Let me make it up to you. I'll make it up to you for the rest of my life, okay? Let's make good, new memories... Pretty soon, the good will heavily outweigh the bad. Tonight's already been amazing, so let's keep that trend going, y'know?"
"I never want to leave your arms, I never want to be away from you ever again," Gideon wept softly, and as the two thumped to the big pillows at the head of Gideon's bed, Kepa smiled in bittersweet warmth and helped him toss the sheets and blankets over the two.
"Welp, you're stuck with me, so wish granted," Kepa cutely whispered in a teasing sneer, such a cute collection of soft words that had a shy smile just barely peeking from the edges of Gideon's wet lips. With ease, adamant about spoiling the life out of Gideon, she eagerly took control of this fragile situation and began to ravel Gideon into a huge hug, one that included her legs, tail and now wings. Kepa sweetly pushed a few firm kisses into Gideon's forehead as the two snuggled deep into each other's arms, Gideon's trembling embrace came about her little body and held on for dear life. Kepa sighed into Gideon's messy hair and fluttered her eyes, she perked her ears as Gideon's big rib cage suddenly took in a trembling, readied breath.
"Can I please exterior swap with you again?" Gideon whimpered through a small cough of crying as he nuzzled his face into Kepa's little neck.
"Of course," Kepa happily agreed to, and as his palms lovingly sagged to Kepa's lower back, she felt the fur on the back of her neck stand on end as Gideon immediately saturated her coding with his, a lovely mess of dim turquoise illuminated through their thick covers and just barely reached the ceiling.
Gideon wildly fluttered his eyes in the hit of sudden relief, his and Kepa's lovely coding danced about together in a kiss of familiarity, as if this specific strand and collection of coding knew each other in a past life. Such a swing of childlike innocence, blissful youth with a seductive bite had Gideon latching onto Kepa's figure as if his shivering life depended on it. Although marinating in Kepa's beautiful soul, he firmly choked a cry into Kepa's neck and now understood he couldn't hold back any longer. He sharply grit his teeth and quietly erupted into soft cries into the security of her chest and sternum. Such eruption of cries had Kepa urgently grappling her arms about Gideon's head and neck, she furrowed her brow in the hit of full sorrow that pierced her heart as she firmly nuzzled her nose into the crown of Gideon's head and soft hair. She squeezed her eyes shut and allowed a few tears to fall from her eyes, as well, though as Gideon messily opened his mouth to speak through his crying, such a crackling deliverance of boyish pleas had Kepa's heart shattering into a million pieces.
"I-I can't believe I just... Abandoned you, I just LEFT this incredible little soul that trusted me to be her sanctuary," Gideon's cries grew in strength, he squeezed his eyes shut tight and fully sobbed into the chest of Kepa's baggy shirt. She sucked in a shaky breath and did what she could to not come unglued alongside Gideon as he messily continued on through crackling, quiet wails of quaking despair, "I-I just can't believe I was so selfish... I didn't even give you a chance to explain yourself."
"None of this is held against you, Gideon," Kepa assured through a shaky whisper as she firmly kissed his forehead and began to so sweetly pet the back of his head in firm, long and easy strokes that included the gentle scratch of her claws to his scalp, "All is forgiven... Let that memory fall away, do not let it torture you like this, anymore... I'm here, and I love you. We're on the same page, Giddy, I promise everything is a-okay."
"Thank you," Gideon whimpered as he staggered hard, hiccuping exhales into Kepa's neck, all concluded with a thick, sudden inhale that fervently carried on through a quake of continued, audible crying, "I'm the luckiest person alive, that you'd just... Take me back, even after all the pain I put you through. I don't deserve a single ounce of you or your attention, I-I'm shocked you're actually here with me... Each day is like a dream, I just can't believe it."
"The feeling's mutual, I can't believe I get to just... Do this all with you, I get to do it all over," Kepa mused warmly with a nod, she could feel Gideon beginning to calm down, though his tremors and anxious breaths continued on into her collar bones, "You've been through so much... We both deserve to just rest and be with each other, with the knowledge that everything got solved and every sad, lonely night is behind us. Okay?"
"Okay," Gideon whimpered quietly, his grapple about her little body was entirely unwavering, even through his adamant trembling. Kepa huffed a cute giggle and fluttered her eyes as his coding swirled about hers in a new hit of love she was excited to marinate in, a kiss of unconditional love that felt entirely otherworldly. Gideon firmly rubbed up and down Kepa's back and hotly whispered his unraveling pleas into the secrecy of Kepa's neck, "I don't want to spend another night without you... I want your beautiful face to be the first thing I see every morning, when I roll over. It's all I've ever wanted... Please... Please cross this boundary with me, please..."
"Ohh, you said please way more times than needed," Kepa sweetly giggled as her voice trembled in the arrival of shyness, she nuzzled her face into Gideon's hair and intoxicating human-scent as she fluttered her eyes closed and snugged his body even tighter into hers, "I can't think of anything I'd want more. It's yours, bubby."
"Please stay," Gideon begged quietly, his adorable, crackly voice hovered safely nestled into the bend of her neck.
"I'm not going anywhere, I'm yours," Kepa whispered sweetly, she squeezed her eyes shut in a tiny, silent little squee of success as she grappled her arms about Gideon's head and gave him a big squeeze.
"I love you," Gideon urged with certainty, and as he fell silent in the desperation to hear her say the words back, Kepa sweetly lifted her head away and returned her face now into the sweet little bend of Gideon's nose, right on the bridge.
"I love you, too," Kepa firmly whispered into his face, all warmly concluded with a firm few kisses to the flat of his skull between his eyebrows, "We can take turns spending the night at each other's homes... You're right. This pain is hard enough to sift through alone..."
"It's not too soon, is it?" Gideon whispered innocently, although the two were now in yet another stir of an exterior swap all tangled in limbs, tail and wings, their coding mused into something a bit more romantic and youthful, a sun-kissed innocence their coding equally donned together, a tender, temporary shush to any primal instincts that would get in the way of this healing moment of simple, loving camaraderie.
"It only is if one of us feels it is... Do you feel as if it's too soon? Cause I don't," Kepa sweetly assured with a nod, she began to so lovingly comb through Gideon's hair and do what she could to lull him back to sleep; she adamantly allowed her coding to do the same thing, the same proverbial tangle of woven love so desperate to be a permanent part of their mainframes.
"No, I don't, either," Gideon shakily whispered as his crying now fully ceased, even though he continued to sniffle and wipe tears that continued to threaten more of a flood.
"Well, then it's settled," Kepa chirped cutely, a quiet little giggle she sent out into Gideon's cozy, dimly lit bedroom. She sighed atop Gideon's head and marinated in the feel of his soft hair through her fingers, she doted on him like there wouldn't be a tomorrow, she loved on him in such a way that made her wonder if this second chance was truly her reality. She squeezed her leg over Gideon's hip, her tail messily wrapped about his calves, her wings remained tightly woven about his figure in a huge embrace of a cocoon, as if there was absolutely no way she was going to let him go until he was comforted to the max. Kepa sighed into Gideon's brow and relished in his hot breath against her sternum, the feel of his huge arms tightly grappled about her body, the two now began to properly melt into the sound of Kepa's trilling purring, healing vibrations that spilled out of her, through her words, "Why don't you try on purring for size? You're gunna get the best sleep of your life, I promise."
"Purring?" Gideon wondered quietly, he fluttered his eyes opened and peered into Kepa's neck as her beautiful little voice aided in her purring, a noise so methodical and strong, it easily could be mistaken for the purr of an idling motor.
"Mhmm, use the back of your nasal cavity and throat," Kepa whispered through the mess of purring nonsense, and though Gideon was a stranger to all of this, he sagged into every single last ounce of Kepa's beautiful abilities and deflated in defeat, once and for all.
With more ease than he expected, he felt the inside of his skull begin to rattle and allow his brain to come loose from the housing, as a mess of deep, powerful purring began to now spill from both beings, the whole room seemingly bevelled into an encapsulated cocoon that somehow bubbled the two in a dimension of eternal bliss, a surreal plane of peace Gideon was certain didn't exist until right now. Joined in a dim exterior swap, now melted in limbs, coding and now abilities, the noise of their fervent purring almost loudly continued on, and though Gideon ushered Kepa one last glowing notion of love, through their coding, it was given back to him tenfold. Amidst sagging into slumber, once and for all, the two tumbled into Gideon's raw, beautiful lucid state together, a place Kepa was adamant about tidying up and allowing the beams of the lighthouse to brighten every darkened corner. With full vulnerability afforded to one another, they shared this sacred realm together for the whole night, a blissful escape where they allowed their inner child, the true, raw shape of their souls to play and run wild. Hand in hand, they vowed true sanctuary to each other at any single second of the day, no matter the cost.
