Dislcaimer: Ya, I don't own South Park.

Authors Note: Heh, sweet, People read my story. So thank you, to anyone who reviewed, or who reads, and I have 2 special thanks:

Call Me Blue Streak, for adding my story to your C2, and Banana4422 who also reviewed my Outsiders story!

Chapter Three: One Drunken Night

The cloud of smoke was being caused by Kenny smoking weed.

"Dude!" Me and Wendy said at the same time. Kenny just looked at us. After a second of silence, I burst out laughing. Kenny joined in, too. Wendy didn't, though. Wendy never has anything to do with drugs or alcohol, she's weird like that.

"Kenny! Do you know what that stuff can do to your brains?" Wendy asked Kenny.

"Yeah, nothing that's not already wrong with it!" Kenny said and laughed again. I looked at him with an amused expression on my face. Wendy shook her head.

"Well, I'm going home. I'll call you later Ashton," Wendy said and left the house.

"Well, this is hilarious. Kenny man, where did you get the money to buy pot though?" I asked him.

"I didn't buy it, my uncle gave it to me," He said, as if it was a perfectly normal every day experience. That made me laugh again. Then I thought of something.

"Stan, don't you think Uncle Randy and Aunt Sharon will be a little pissed when they come home, and smell marijuana smoke, and see Kenny high, and find that bag of pot sitting on the table with rolling papers and a lighter beside it?" I asked. Stan stared at me, then at the stuff I'd just pointed out as if it was the first time he'd ever seen it.

"Oh… man… I guess we better get out of here!" Stan said. I was honestly not a goody-two-shoes at all, so at the time, I too saw that as the best way out of trouble.

Kenny grabbed his pot, rolling papers and lighter and stuffed them in his pocket, and then the five of us went outside and got into Cartman's car. Yes, being the spoiled little brat that he was, Mrs. Cartman had gotten him a car for his sixteenth birthday.

Kenny sat in the front with Cartman driving and Kyle, Stan and I sitting in the back.

"Where to, you guys?" Cartman asked, pulling out of the driveway.

"Let's go to the beer store and see if they believe us that we're 19," Kenny said. Good old Kenny. Half the stuff we do, we wouldn't have done without Kenny there to suggest it. Like stuff involving drugs or law-breaking or perverted stuff, or buying alcohol, like we were trying to go do now.

When we got to the beer store, of course they didn't believe us that we weren't goddam minors, which we were, but we tried. We were about to leave, but Stan said,

"Hey guys, remember that time we paid a homeless guy to get us into the Terrance and Phillip movie?"

A couple minutes later, we were waiting outside the liquor store for a homeless guy we paid to get us a case of beer and a case of Woody's Ice. (Those are vodka coolers, incase you don't know, and they kick ass.)And of course, a bottle of vodka for himself.

Finally he came out with out alcohol and being the geniuses that we are, we drank some while we were in the car. Some of the beer, that is. It was pretty much night time by that time. I mean it was dark and all. So, here we were, five stupid teenagers driving around with a case of beer and a case of Woody's after dark.

Kenny was laughing his ass off in the front seat with a bottle of half empty Coors in his hand, and 2 other bottles lay empty and forgotten beneath his feet. Cartman had half a bottle of beer and half a bottle of Woody's sitting on the dashboard and an empty beer beside him. Here in the backseat, Kyle was laughing at whatever Kenny was laughing at, and just finishing off his third beer. Stan and I were both on our second Woody's, and I'd also had a beer. I was leaning on Stan giggling like a madwoman, and then this song came on the radio that I liked.

"Woo! Crank it, fat boy!" I yelled louder that I had too at Cartman. He swerved across the road as he leaned over to turn up the radio to a very high volume, while yelling "Ay, I'm big boned!"

"Yeah, and you've got a 'big bone' for Britney Spears while she's pregnant!" Stan slurred, making the rest of us laugh even harder.

"You guys, look!" Kyle said as we drove by this vacant lot that some people used to hang out in. There was a bonfire going, and there was tons of people from our school there having a party, and they had a keg.

"Sweet!" Cartman said and pulled in.

"Hey you guys, look who it is!" Said a drunk Clyde when we got out of the car.

"Ehhh guys, join the partay!" Said another drunken one. Surprisingly, it was Bebe.

We walked over to the bonfire, where Token and Craig were roasting marshmallows.

"Gimme some beer, Give US sombeer," I slurred, walking up to the kid in charge of the keg. He handed the five of us a cup of beer, in exchanged for a buck a piece.

We partied for a while, until I went out in the bush for the urge to throw up. What I didn't notice then was that Kyle had went into the bush as well to take a piss. I stumbled into the bushes and threw my hands out in front of me until they hit a tree. There I bent over and hurled. When I was done, I heard movement from behind a bush.

"Whozere?" I said, wiping my mouth. Kyle emerged and walked over to me.

"Oh, it's Kyle!" I laughed. Throwing up didn't even help. I was still pretty tipsy.

"Hey, it's Ashton! Fancy meetin' you here," Kyle slurred. I tried to walk over to him, but instead fell over a root and crashed into him, sending us ontot he ground. I laughed uncontrollably, lying beside him on the ground. Then I turned and looked at him. He was looking at me too.

"Kyle, you're so hot," I said, almost in a whisper. He sputtered.

"What did you say?" He said, looking amazed and happy.

"I said you're hot," I said, and moved my face in to kiss him. I never got to though, because Cartman jumped through a bush right beside us, aiming a video camera at us, and laughing his ass off.

"Woo! Alright! I got all of that on camera, the orphan has the hots for the Jew boy! And he knows he likes it, by the way," Cartman added, for the sake of recording it on the tape.

"Cartman, you asshole!" I yelled, trying to stand up, but falling down again.

Cartman laughed harder, still videotaping it.

"This is gold, I'll call it Stan's cousin and goody-two-shoes smart boy Jew lettin' loose!" Cartman said and backed up, taking another shot of me, then turning his lens on Kyle, who was now throwing up.

"Ashton? I'm ready now, were we gonna kiss?" He said, stumbling back to his feet, not aware of Cartman filming us.

"Cartman!" I yelled and chased him back to the bonfire, wobbling slightly, with him STILL filming me all the way back to the bonfire.

"Ashton? What's going on?" Stan said, walking over to me, and tripping Cartman in the process.

"He has a video camera!" I yelled, holding onto Stan so I wouldn't fall down, and pointing a shaking finger at Cartman, who was on the ground cursing.

"Okay, calm down," Stan said, looking a little buzzed but not completely drunk anymore.

"Hey, you guys, I think there's a bear!" Kyle said, stumbling out of the woods and into the firelight.

"Okay, let's go home," Stan said, and we all piled into Cartman's car. I fell asleep on the way home, And the next thing I remember is leaning on Stan to get into the house.

"Okay, when we go in, you gotta shhhh!" Stan said quietly, putting a finger to his lips.

"Right, shhh!" I whispered, and mimicked him, giggling like crazy.

We got in the house, and I don't think Uncle Randy and Aunt Sharon were awake. I don't even remember most of that night, the reason I could tell you about it was because I saw Cartman's stupid videotape the next day.

In the morning, Uncle Randy was at work, and Aunt Sharon casually asked us where we were last night. Thinking quickly, Stan came up with an excuse.

"We were at Cartman's house with Kenny and Kyle, mom. We stayed later than we expected, but Cartman drove us home." He said.

"Oh... okay, well I'm going to work I'll see you kids tonight," She said, leaving the house. As soon as she was gone, I let out a huge groan and slunk onto the couch.

"Jeez Ashton, here, take and Advil," Stan said and handed me a pill and a glass of water.

"Ugh, thanks," I said and swallowed the pill. Then someone knocked on the door, pounding my headache into my head, making it feel like someone was hitting me in the head with a baseball bat.

"Ahhhh, Get the door!" I said to Stan, squinting my eyes shut. It was Cartman and Kyle.

"Dude where's Kenny?" Stan asked.

"He's at home sleeping. Dude, that kid was fucked last night. But, so were Ashton and Kyle, and I have it ont his videotape!" Cartman grinned, waving a tape in our faces.

Kyle and I groaned loudly as Cartman put the tape in the VCR and pressed play.

At first it was Butters drunk, which I can honestly say was the most hilarious thing I saw that whole year, then Token making out with some girl and Cartman off screen saying, "Yeah, go Token!" Then there was static for a second, and then there was Kyle and me laying on he ground laughing, and leaves around the camera lens, as if Cartman was hiding behind a bush.

"Kyle, you're so hot," I said on the tape. I could feel my face turning red. Cartman laughed maniacally. When he was through laughing, the tape showed him jumping out of the bushes and laughing at us.

"Oh man, I should have stayed in there and taped longer, you guys probably would have banged or something!" Cartman laughed.

"Ashton? I'm ready now, are we gonna kiss?" The on-screen Kyle said, wiping the sides of his mouth. I looked over and saw Kyle turning red as well. We kept watching the movie and saw me chasing Cartman and his laughing off screen, and there was static for a second while he fell down, then the camera was pointed skyward and we could hear Cartman muttering "God dammit, son of a bitch.." And Stan saying we should go home after Kyle saying there was a bear.

More static for a second, then Kenny filming himself in the car saying,

"Tonight, I'm shitfaced, and I made out with two girls at the same time! That means when I got to second, I actually got to fourth, cuz there was four boobs!" I laughed at that part. Then Kenny filmed the backseat, which showed Kyle asleep with his face against the window, and me asleep leaning on Stan.

"Well Stan, how was your night? Come on, comment on our little beercapade!" Kenny prompted. Stan frowned.

"Give me that camera!" He said and reached for it. The camera fell down, and was pointing under the seat where a couple empty bottles lay. Off screen, Stan and Kenny's voices were talking.

"Come on Stan, don't be so uptight, I bet you made out with a girl or two tonight!" Kenny slurred at him.

"Man, shut up!" Stan said. Kenny laughed and Stan picked up the camera. There was a lovely shot of the back of Cartman's head, and then he reached back and grabbed the camera.

"And that concludes our drunk night of Kenny getting to fourth base, Stan being a little pussy, me making this kick ass tape, and Ashton and Kyle finally not being little bitches and telling each other that they wanna bang each other," Cartman said sincerely into the camera and then the tape was over.

"And it's true, orphan and Jew boy like each other!" Cartman taunted. Kyle and I looked each other in the eye, each of us wondering what the other was thinking.

Woo, chapter three! So, please review, and I'll get the next chapter out faster, m'kay?