TOMMY
I wake up to bright sunlight in my face. I move a little and then crack my eyes open to see that the curtains aren't completely closed. I sigh, turn over and snuggle back down into the warm, though apparently empty bed, feeling too lazy to get up just yet and wondering how long I have slept that Zedd apparently beat me waking up this morning. Still, I'm definitely awake now and my thoughts start to drift to yesterday. I know that everything isn't over yet and I still have a lot of issues to deal with, but I find that I feel just a little more hopeful than before.
After all, Dulcea said that I was going to get better now that the spell was gone. It irritates me a bit to know that the whole evil mess wouldn't have happened if Rita had just remembered the damn spell in the first place. I still can't believe the things that I did - or how much I enjoyed them. And I don't understand why Pina didn't beat the hell out of me after I let her go. I wonder - if she had 'put me in my place' so to speak then, would things have gotten so bad?
I shake this off, knowing if I keep thinking about it, I'll get depressed. Unfortunately, my thoughts turn to something else which is just as depressing. When and where did I ever get the idea that Zedd and I could or would be together? How could we ever be when I'm terrified of being with him that way again? Never mind that Dar wants me back on Earth and Zedd here. I'm fairly certain that once Pina's finished my treatment it won't matter to her too much one way or the other. On one hand, I need to just work on getting better and go home and stay there. On the other, some part of me wants to go back to Earth long enough to get a few things and come back here to stay. Recalling how Zedd had told me I belong here with him doesn't help matters either.
Good job, Tommy. You've been awake all of ten minutes and managed to depress yourself. Well done. I pull a pillow over my head and wish I could go back to sleep and start the day all over. At this moment, I wish I was a girl - I want to scream in frustration.
I hear the door open and close. "Thomas?"
I sigh heavily. "Yeah, Zedd, I'm awake." I push the pillow off my face and the covers off my body. I can't help the wince when I sit up and again when I stand. Apparently, a few muscles decided to stiffen up overnight. Even without looking at him, I know that he's seen and I decide to say something before he does. "I'm fine. Just a few stiff muscles. I'll get a hot shower and that'll help."
I grab some clothes and head for the bathroom as he says, "If not, I think that Pina has some rub for sore muscles that she and Dar make from herbs in the garden." I nod in acknowledgement and go to get my shower.
Twenty minutes later, I do feel a little better physically. As I come out of the bathroom, I finally look at Zedd and realize he looks awfully tired for someone who went to bed the same time I did last night. "Zedd, did you sleep last night?"
Looking out the window and playing with his staff absently, he gives a nod. "Yes, not well, but I did sleep." Apparently I'm not the only one in a down mood today.
"Because of me?"
"No, Thomas. Just thinking about some things and - in turn, it affected my sleep." I may have a major head injury, but I know enough to know when someone is being evasive, and right now he's the damn definition of it.
"What things?"
"It's not important." No of course not, just important enough for you to lose sleep over.
I sigh silently, knowing that the things he had to think about probably had to do with me, whether he admits it or not, and also that he apparently isn't in the mood to admit it right now no matter what I say. "Where's Pina? I need my treatment."
"In the infirmary, I believe."
"Let's go and get that done then. You might as well come with me so that she doesn't have to worry about watching her back."
I head out the door, expecting him to follow me. I get lost in my thoughts once more as I head for the infirmary. I need to apologize to Pina, but I really don't need to hear any more about how it wasn't my fault or any of that. Finally, I decide what to do just as I reach my destination. I push open the door and step into the room. I stay where I am until she looks up from what she's doing. "Morning, Tommy."
"Morning." I take a deep breath. "Look, Pina. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about what I did to you. I had no right and no business putting my hands on you like that. I know it was the evil that led me that way, and I know you keep saying it's not my fault, but I still feel bad about it and I need to apologize for it for my own peace of mind even if you don't need me to for yours. I promise it'll never happen again." I brace myself, waiting for the whole 'it's not your fault' thing.
Pina looks at me steadily for a minute. Finally, she says, "I accept your apology, but understand this - if you do ever do that again, I will beat you within an inch of your life, heal you and then do it again."
I can't help but smile. "Fair enough. Can you do my treatment now?"
She smiles back. "Sure. Get on the table." I get on the table, grateful that she understood what I needed to hear. She comes over a minute later. "Now, you need to not move. Grip the edge of the table or something."
I do as she suggests and close my eyes. I can't help the hiss of pain that comes when she starts the injection. How many more of these do I need anyway? Not soon enough, it's done and I relax my hold on the table. "Pina, how many more of these damn things do I need anyway? I know they're to help, but it's starting to give me a headache. No pun intended."
"I'm not sure. I need to do a new scan and see how things are progressing, then I can maybe give you a better idea."
"Can you do it now?"
"That was the plan. Hold still." A couple of minutes later, that's done. "Now, I need to cross reference this new scan with the others and then I can make a guess. I'll have to scan you again tomorrow so that I have post evil scans to compare."
"Okay so until then can we head down to eat?"
"You can head down to eat, I've already eaten. Besides I have a bit of work to take care of."
"No not you I meant me and Z-" Suddenly stopping and looking around I realize that Zedd isn't here. If he were, she'd have had him hold me rather than me hold the table. "Where the hell is Zedd?"
"I told him at breakfast that we wouldn't need him." I sit up and stare at her incredulously. "If you got out of control, I had already decided I'd beat the hell out of you." Wow, she is taking this a lot calmer than I thought she would. "Unless you wanted him here to hold you still. I apologize if that was the case."
"No, no I'm fine keeping still on my own. I just…I thought he followed me that's all. It just caught me off guard." Off guard is a bit of an understatement though, he always follows me, even when I don't want him to, so why not now when I actually invited him along?
"All right, if you're sure. Now, get out of here so that I can work."
Still stunned, I leave the room and head for the kitchen. Thankfully, Dar is the only one here. "Dar-"
"Don't apologize," he growls. "It's just going to piss me off." He turns around and sets a cup of coffee in front of me as I stare at him. Has everyone has a bad night? "You've already apologized for the pie, you've probably already talked to Pina. So it's done."
"Not quite." He raises an eyebrow at me. I understand his confusion since I technically didn't do anything much directly to him during the evil phase. "When I asked you to beat the hell out of me after the evil was gone, I put you in a bad position. I was being - as you said - a selfish brat when I pushed you the way I did. At that point, I didn't care about anything except the punishment I felt I deserved. And the things that I said - true or not, there was no call for that either. I'm sorry I did that to you."
He thinks about this for a minute. "Don't let it happen again. And you're still a brat."
I shrug. "Childish species, right? Comes with the territory." He shakes his head and turns to get me a plate, but I think I catch a ghost of a smile as he does.
As I eat, my mind turns to the talk I still have to have with Zedd. I have no idea what all to say to him or what he'll have to say. I know it's going to hurt him when I tell him that we can't be together like that anymore, but it has to be done. After all, we might as well stop now rather than get used to it and then he wants to do something I can't or I have to go home.
I'm startled when Dar speaks. "What's the matter now? You look like someone has just - what's the saying? - run over your dog."
"Don't have a dog - never did," I mutter. I speak slightly louder, knowing that he heard me just fine before. "Just some things on my mind."
"Like what?"
The no nonsense tone somehow compels me to answer. "Zedd, mostly."
His eyebrows go up in surprise. "You shouldn't look that depressed when you're thinking about your mate. Well unless he's hogging the bed I suppose."
"That's just it, Dar. He can't be my mate. We can't do anything about being bond mates, but we can't be mates like you and Pina are."
"Oh really now. Why not?"
I sigh. "Leaving my terror out of it for the moment, I'm pretty sure that it's not normal for mates to live in two different galaxies, Dar. I'm supposed to go back to Earth once I'm better, remember? I have a job and the Rangers and - I don't know - stuff to take care of. I was only supposed to be here until I got better, right?"
He sighs himself. "That was the understanding, yes, but things have changed."
"Nothing's changed, Dar. Not really."
"Yes it has." Looking rather annoyed he sits down across from me giving me a slight glare. "You mated with Zedd for one thing, evil or not at the time it was still you. Zedd talks a lot, but he doesn't generally do that sort of thing with just anyone, trust me I've witnessed many opportunities he's let pass him by before."
"He didn't have much choice in the matter this time" I remind him dryly.
"He did, if he wanted to stop you he could have. Easily, I might add. Also…" Hesitating, he seems to be struggling to come out with whatever is on his mind before throwing his hands up in an annoyed gesture. "I don't know, you belong here all right. That's just all there is to it, now stop being depressing."
I can't help it. I snap, "Oh, so now you'd be happy if I stayed? Somehow, I doubt that very much."
"That's not what I meant. As I said you and Zedd are bond mates and that makes a difference. You are still a brat, but you're less intolerable than you used to be and I can maybe see why Zedd could possibly stand to spend five minutes with you without killing you. Sometimes."
I blink in surprise. "Careful, Dar. That almost sounds like you think we could get along."
He rolls his eyes and takes my now empty plate. "Just take things one step at a time and we'll see how things sit when you are better, okay? Now go have your talk with Zedd and get it over with so that we can all sit down and figure out the damn schedule. Plus if I have to put up with you or him moping around here any longer I might just kill you both."
Stunned, I down the last of my coffee and head for the bedroom, fairly sure that's where I'll find Zedd.
