ZEDD

I wake up alone, which is surprising. How does he keep doing that, and more importantly why? I use the bond to see where he is. I frown as I realize that he's a fair distance away, but apparently all right where ever he is, as I feel no distress from him. A small amount of discomfort, but nothing else.

As I clean up and dress for the day, my thoughts return to the night before. I thought that things were better between us, so why does he want to leave and go back to Earth? I know he'd said that Earth was his home, but I - apparently - had fooled myself into believing that with us becoming mates he'd stay with me. Maybe it doesn't mean as much to him as it does to me. I try and remind myself that he has no idea how much the bond affects the life of an Eltarian, but it doesn't really help. Nor does my weak argument that I'd survived without him here for how many years, unaware of the bond even being there, and that if I had to I could certainly do it again. Right, and maybe if I keep lying to myself long enough I can learn to exist in only semi misery after he leaves.

Sighing heavily, I head for the kitchen. Knowing Dar and Pina's habits as well as my own, I'm certain that they are already in the kitchen and have been for some time. Knowing me as well as they do, I don't even bother to try and hide my depression and confusion as they'll just see through the façade.

Entering the kitchen, I'm rather surprised to see that neither of the Rangers are here and briefly wonder if perhaps they're out with Thomas, wherever he's wandered off to now. I slide into my usual seat as they continue their conversation, which I'm paying no attention to as it mostly seems to concern work and some new animals Pina's been feeding scraps to. A moment later, I have coffee in hand. I drink it slowly as I continue thinking about Thomas and when he plans to leave. If I tell him the ships are in need of repairs that may keep him here a bit longer. I could insist on monitoring his recovery for a while more, but with how quickly he is now making progress I doubt that would work for long. Perhaps a force field around the planet somehow… My thoughts are interrupted when Pina speaks to me - and, judging by the irritation that I hear in her tone, not for the first time.

"Zedd, where's Tommy?"

I frown as I give her a puzzled look. "I'd have thought that you'd have seen him, as he was up before me again. How long have you been up and in here?"

Dar glances at the clock. "Two - no, almost three hours as usual."

I can feel my frown deepen and I again try to use the bond he's thankfully allowed to remain open to again find him. I can feel that he's still a good distance away and, based on my new location in the castle and the direction that he seems to be- "Hell, he's in the woods somewhere."

Pina rolls her eyes. "I'll get my pack and we'll go find him. He's probably lost."

"I don't think so. He doesn't seem to be upset or distressed in any way at the moment."

I'm not surprised when she ignores this and heads out, only to be back shortly and slipping the pack on her back. "Come on, you too."

"Why me?" Dar protests.

"An extra pair of eyes and hands," she answers. Once outside, she gestures to me. "Lead the way, Zedd."

Watching carefully, I head into the woods. Great, first Thomas wants to leave and now I have to go get him in snake infested territory so he can. Wonderful. Since we are nowhere near the path, I know that Pina is marking the trail so that we can find our way back. We're traveling for a good bit of time when I suddenly feel the tingle of magic, but it's unfamiliar. Not good and not evil, just - magic. A few more steps and the trees thin out and I can see Thomas lying on the ground. I start to head toward him. "Thomas!"

I'm surprised when Pina suddenly grabs my arm hard and halts my progress. "Zedd, wait!"

There is an odd edge to her voice. Out here, her instincts are beyond reproach so I reluctantly stop. "What is it?"

"Stay here," she hisses. Slowly and carefully, she makes her way over to the stationary human.

In a low voice, I ask Dar, "Do you know what's going on?"

"I'm not sure, but whatever it is has triggered her animal instincts. Look at how she's moving."

I watch her for a moment before I see what he means. Her normal fluid walk has changed to something else - almost like a scorpion in a fight or going after prey. Pina reaches Thomas' side and, after another quick look around, kneels beside him. "Tommy."

He stirs at her voice. "Pina, I couldn't get out. I tried, but I couldn't."

"Come on, I'll help you."

As she helps him to his feet, her eyes dart around watching for something. Watching closely myself now, waiting for the slightest hint of danger to either of them I remain ready to jump in as she pulls his arm over her shoulders, almost missing as he softly asks, "Where's Zedd?"

"Not far. Let's go." As they get closer to where Dar and I are waiting, Thomas seems to move easier and faster. When they reach us, Pina hands him off to me. I pull him close and realize that he's shaking slightly - probably due to the chill I feel on his skin. With one more backward look, she says, "Back to the castle. Move."

Discretion being the better part of valor, I decide to question her about it later and we all start heading back. The farther we get from that place, the more the two of them relax. I look at Thomas who is still pressed against my side, his skin still colder and breathing rougher than I'd like. "Are you all right?"

"A little cold, but other than that, I'm fine. Was I out here all night?"

Startled by the question, I ask, "When did you leave?"

"Um, about an hour or two after you fell asleep, I think." All three of us curse and he says, "I didn't have a choice, he summoned me again."

"Who?" Because trust me whoever it is won't be doing any summoning for a very long time when I'm through with them.

"The bird." I'm surprised when both Pina and Thomas answer simultaneously. Thomas continues alone. "That time I hid out in the infirmary bathroom and then I said that my head felt strange, but I couldn't describe it any better than that, do you remember, Pina?" She nods and he says, "That's what it was. He was calling me, only now I could understand it better."

"Going to skewer that damn bird." Scowling and unable to help my anger at the animal that had my mate out all night long, I look to Thomas trying my best to be calm despite my now new worries. "Next time that bird calls you, do me a favor and inform me, or if not me than at least one of us so that we know to come with you or after you if you're gone too long. You should have woken me up last night, I would have gone with you."

"You weren't supposed to go." Oh really now.

"And why not?"

"I don't know, he wanted to talk to me, it's…I don't know, I just know that it was something I had to see to myself." Falling silent and seeming to be thinking the matter over now, Thomas doesn't seem to be the only one as I've yet to hear a word from Pina or Dar in last few minutes. Glancing over at them I see Pina is indeed deep in thought as we arrive back at the castle. About to interrupt her as we cross the lawn, suddenly Thomas speaks. "Zedd, can you summon your staff from here?"

"Probably, why?"

"Something that occurred to me. Would you summon it for me?" I swear if this is an attempt to distract me from the lecture he's about to receive…

I hesitate briefly before acceding to his request. To my surprise, he holds his hand out for it almost the moment it appears in mine. "This isn't an evil plot to overthrow me by commandeering my weapon is it?"

Rolling his eyes, he continues to gesture for it. "I think I could do better than simply asking for you to hand it over, but I will remember to try that first if the need should ever arise. So can I see it? Please."

Puzzled, I hand it to him more worried about him hurting himself with it than me really. He backs away a few steps before he spins it, apparently testing its weight. He works with it for a few minutes before he addresses us. "I have Zedd to spar with, which is fine, but I'll also need to practice with weapons again too. Since you all have different fighting styles and weapons, I think it would be best to practice with all of you from time to time."

"I think perhaps we can do that" Pina agrees after a moment, as Dar nods slightly as well.

"Good, I know relearning how to read and getting my thoughts in order and all is important, but I'd really like to start working on this as soon as possible too. I…I think I might need it a lot sooner than I will my other skills." Holding my tongue before I can accuse him of only wishing to train again so he can return to those children and his wanting to be an active Ranger, I forcefully remind myself that he was - is - a fighter, a warrior the same as we are and maybe he has other reasons for wishing to get back into form for combat. Right, and maybe I'll remarry Rita.

"I'll work it into the schedule" Dar assures him, seeming actually rather calm about the whole matter.

"Thanks." He returns to my side, half turned to face the others. "Oh - and there's one other thing." Before I can react, he's swept my feet out from under me, knocking me on my back and he straddles my chest, knees on my upper arms - effectively pinning me to the ground. "Now, you give me crap about not talking about what's bothering me and then you turn around and do the same thing. I want a straight answer, Zedd. What the hell was that all about at dinner last night? And don't try and feed me any more lies like you did last night before bed."

Shit. I take a breath, trying to organize my thoughts. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Dar and Pina head for the castle since Thomas apparently isn't going to dismember me at the moment, though they are still close enough that I am almost certain I can hear Dar's amused laughter. Once they're out of hearing range, I admit quietly, "I was hurt."

"Why?" The speed at which he presents this new question leads me to believe that he was expecting that answer. I don't know exactly how to answer him, and I tell him as much.

"I don't know what you want me to say. Why ask what was wrong when you apparently already knew, and why ask why when I think you already know the answer to that as well."

Taking a deep breath and looking as if he is counting in his head, he after a moment locks his gaze with mine seeming torn between frustration and amusement. "Zedd, sometimes I wonder just how you've lived as long as you have and can still be more clueless than I am at times. Zedd, just because I miss them doesn't mean I'm in a hurry to go back." What now?

"They want you back, you told them you wanted to go back. You've told me from day one you've wanted to go back. So how exactly am I clueless where this is concerned, aside the fact I'd let myself think that perhaps you'd changed your mind on the matter after…I thought things had changed."

"Okay, number one, yes they do want me back, they're kids Zedd. I'm someone who took care of them and watched out for them, they like me there because it makes it safe for them, but as I told them, they don't need me back. Also, I never told them I was going back to stay. I said I'd see them again, that's not the same thing." Taking a deep breath, he shakes his head slowly. "That's number one. Number two, things have changed. It took me time to realize that, but I do realize it now. I'm not the Black Ranger anymore. I don't particularly want to go back to teaching a bunch of teenagers who barely have a passing interest in what I have to say. I don't really want to go home, alone, to an empty house every day and try to fill my boredom and loneliness with stopping the next big evil that decides to show up. To put it how Goldar put it the other day, things have changed, I don't belong there anymore."

"I don't understand." And I don't. I'm very confused and it's only made worse by the hurt look he now has. "If you want to stay then why-"

"Damn it Zedd! Do you think that I just sleep around?" he suddenly demands, taking me by surprise. "That I'd sleep with you just because you're willing and convenient?" His tone has an edge to it that I've not heard before. "At some point, yes, I will go back, but I have no intention of staying there unless you don't want me here."

"What?" He can't mean what I think he means.

He takes a breath. "Zedd - even if I stay, if you want me to stay after I'm better - I still have to return to Earth to take care of a few things."

Cautious hope blooms in my chest. "If you stay, Thomas?"

"It all depends on you, Zedd and what you want. I'm not going to force you to keep me if you don't want me, but I'm also going to tell you that as far as I'm concerned I would not be horribly depressed or upset to be here rather than back on Earth. I like spending time with Pina as I think we have very similar interests and views on things. I think it's pretty clear that I like being with you, even if you are temperamental and bossy. Dar isn't really a problem anymore. In his own weird way, Dar even gave me his approval when we talked yesterday morning."

I can't help but stare in disbelief. "He did?"

The man on my chest gives me a firm nod. "Yes. That's also partly what yesterday was about. I had to know for sure that I was attracted to you like that and it wasn't the spell. I had to know if there could be an 'us'. I still would like to back up a little bit - use your ideas for both our benefits. But only-"

I catch the flash of uncertainty in his eyes. "I told you, Thomas that I'm not just interested in using you, but rather in you being my mate - and I meant it." I take a breath and confess softly, "I don't sleep around either."

"Good answer," he remarks dryly. "Just so you know though, Dar already told me that." Did he now, fine then, kill him later. He stands up and offers his hand to me, which I accept. Once on my feet, he hands me my staff. "By the way, I like the balance and weight of it. I'd like to have one myself but not quite so-"

Words fail him - something that hasn't happened in a while, but I get the feeling it's more out of a desire not to hurt my feelings more than anything. Knowing him as I do, odds are the word he's looking for is- "Ostentatious? Flashy?"

"Garish. I think I'd prefer something plainer."

I grin at him. "I'll see what I can do."